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Old 2009-08-31, 08:37   Link #1441
Ascaloth
I don't give a damn, dude
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
S
and OMG, I saw stalker-guy and guess what!?!

He didn't touch me. He was just normal with me. He didn't even offer me a hug.
He is so out of character *is happy for now* I think I may have reached the next stage.
Or do you think he got the message and backed off?
Good job, Imouto-chan. He may well be starting to get an idea.

Don't let your guard down even now though; one wrong move, and you might very well cause him to think he may still have a chance, after all. Trying to dissuade a suitor this persistent is a process, not a one-time event.
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Old 2009-08-31, 08:41   Link #1442
Miko Miko
Imouto-Chan♥
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: England
Age: 21
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Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
If he's not intentionally being a jerk and is perceptive of body language or nonverbal communication, it's likely that he took the hint.
I hope so!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Good job, Imouto-chan. He may well be starting to get an idea.

Don't let your guard down even now though; one wrong move, and you might very well cause him to think he may still have a chance, after all. Trying to dissuade a suitor this persistent is a process, not a one-time event.
I really do hope he gives it up! But I won't let my guard down! Thanks!

*goes to find sword*

EDIT: Ledgem got me another rep box ! x Fankyu x
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Old 2009-08-31, 13:15   Link #1443
whitepearl
Dietrich fan #681675
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New York
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
Yay! Persistance totally doesn't win..



Persistance definately doesn't win! depends on the girl really. Persistance is like force.. I wouldn't force my physical and personality development, people can assume it's not going to work therefore avoiding it completely.

I think.
Well, like the disclaimers they put on ads for lawyers or cleaning products or weight loss plans:

"Results not typical."

Someone I know took the persistent approach with a girl and after several months they started dating. But just because it worked for them doesn't mean it will work for everyone.

But you're right: it isn't force. Good persistence involves lots of well-executed persuasion.
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Old 2009-08-31, 17:08   Link #1444
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post
Well...this doesn't really have to do with advice or anything, I just figured I'd post it since I don't really have anyone else to tell this to this late...but basicly my girlfriend is starting the more advanced college courses for her profession that she chose, and we already discussed before school started, how it would be difficult for us to be together and she wanted me to not be with her, since I wouldn't be able to be with her as much as I 'should be' (her words). But I told her that I wanted to be with her regardless how hard it would be and that we could get through this, and all summer was fine and wonderful. (She took no classes though)

Well fast forward to the present, school started last week and she did have alot to get done and study for, but stupidly on my part I still tried to see her when I was able to. She also has been asking me to come see her aswell when I could so it has been pretty mutual.

Anyways today she wanted to talk to me about somthing, but she said she would talk to me about it after work. Well not too long ago she texted me what it was about....basicly it was that she still really loves me, but that she has been really distracted cause of me and is behind, that its her fault and she cant have me in her life right now, and that this will be easier for awhile since she needs to worry about school right now...and that she is sorry....Which I completely understand that, I have always been behind her and her school and how important it is to her. She also for some reason took me off her myspace friends list aswell, which I guess is kinda serious.

I guess kinda my question is what should I do? I asked if we could still be together after this semester atleast and she said she doesnt know right now, but I don't know what I should do since we both work at the same place, so its not like I won't get to see her. Should I just try to be friends and keep my distance as much as possible so I don't distract or bug her? Don't get me wrong I am really sad and down about this, I do love her and want to be with her so I'm kinda worried it won't work out now...I really just don't know what to do...
Full quoting your post because it seems like it got left behind on the other page.

I can understand this situation. My fiancee originally did not want to date until she was done with school; even when we began to date, we tried to self-limit the time spent together so that it wouldn't have adverse effects. Ultimately we failed in limiting our time together, but our grades didn't suffer. If anything, they improved, and I'd say we were happier and healthier as a result. It was a very positive matchup; not all relationships work out like that.

Back to you. How long have you been dating her? Do you think that she's "the one" - the one you want to be with for the rest of your life?

Here's how I see it: school is a busy time. Unlike a normal job, where you're free once you leave work, with school it's 24/7 as far as studying and considering class material. Leaving class doesn't make you free. Yet to say that you'll be busier and more stressed out in school than you will at any other point in your life is foolish. Depending on your job, you may find that you're just as busy and that you're still somewhat "on the job" even when you're not sitting at your workplace.

In other words, it's understandable that your girlfriend wants to remove possible distractions that would hinder her performance, but looking ahead that may really be a non-issue. Or if it really is an issue, it may be something that'll negatively impact her even after her classes are over. Your interactions with one another should ebb and flow based around the needs of the other. To cut the relationship entirely and not allow for adjustment represents a failure somewhere in the relationship. In an ideal relationship it should never have to reach that point, because both members would aid one another in their respective goals. Yet the relationship would continue and would provide a positive benefit overall to both.

I don't know what made her decide that she should cut the relationship. Maybe it's too hard on her to have to spend more time away from you; maybe you've been bad about giving her the time she needs (although it doesn't sound that way, based on what you've said). However, time out of the relationship is dangerous for the relationship itself. Some people can stop and restart relationships seemingly without a problem, but time out of a relationship is time that you can both grow apart. It's time that you'll become more alien to each other, less compatible, less caring for the other. The same can happen even if you're officially in a relationship and aren't seeing each other, but the simple committment to the relationship still provides some benefits there.

If you really care about her and your relationship with her, I'd talk to her. Remind her that this is a very temporary thing and that other couples work through similar situations. Remind her that you're 100% behind her and that you'll completely leave her alone if that's what she really needs. I'd also talk with her to find out if there isn't something else that's bugging her, and perhaps she's just using this as a front.

Good luck.


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Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
EDIT: Ledgem got me another rep box ! x Fankyu x
I seem to do that for a lot of people It's all good timing!
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Old 2009-08-31, 20:59   Link #1445
Dextro
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Age: 27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timdog View Post
Well, I'm short, look much younger than I really am, have 0 talent at anything I've ever tried and hard work only slightly helps with that, clumsy and uncoordinated, never have stuff to talk about (mostly because my interests really differ from the majority), and the only thing I'd ever say I was average or above average in is school. And I'm only average at my school (I was very above average in my HS).

Well, the criticism comes from myself and from others. I always think I need to be perfect for other people to like me since they always make negative comments about me (You suck, etc.) whenever I don't do as well as them at something (which is all the time). So I think I have to be better for them to like me. I know I used to put way too much pressure on myself in school when I was younger, I would break down if I didn't get an A on a test. I don't break down anymore but I still see myself as a failure if I don't get an A on a test or do well in something else. When I was younger, my "failures" drove me to study harder and thus, I barely had a social life since I was always doing schoolwork but I tend to just try less and less as I get fewer and fewer A's in college which just makes the problem worse since I see myself as more and more of a failure. I avoid a lot of social activities because I know I'll just fail there as well since I've never had any success so what's the point in trying? Friends tried to help me out with this in high school but even if it's just a normal social situation with people just talking and stuff, I usually end up glued to the wall without anything to say.
I was reading through this thread out of curiosity cause I'm in a bit of a pickle myself (having been dumped a couple of months ago) but I came across your post and couldn't help but feel, like others have felt before in this thread, that your description of yourself really reminded me a lot of a past me, most accurately 2 distinct phases of my life: my Junior High School years and my Freshman year in college so I thought I'd drop by and leave my 0.02€

Now I don't mean to sound like I know "the answer" or anything like that, on the contrary I'm still sort of looking for my place but things have changed dramatically since my early years. I use to call myself a hopeless romantic, I actually proposed to my first girlfriend on the 23rd of December, on my knees, out in the cold and I can still remember her blushing and smiling at my fumbling of the proposal... and also we both laughing a couple of months latter after she told me she had been waiting for my freaking proposal for the best part of the previous 3 months. I'm sharing this here cause it reminded me of something you said: that you are afraid of loosing your friendship in the love gamble and I can relate to that... Hell, I still am afraid of it most of the times and I think I might have missed some hints cause of it but I don't really care much and that's my secret.

I used to be completely desperate, thinking I would never get my first girl, my first kiss, my first anything and all that despair, the fruit of my lack of self-confidence, was probably pretty obvious to most observers but eventually I came to terms with myself. I found good friends and started hanging out with them, talking, having fun... mostly having fun! When I noticed I had stopped beeing so desperate and had took on a more healthy approach of "que será será". This was my first year in High School, the same year I found that girl I mentioned earlier. I found her not cause I was looking for her but because I was living my life and we naturally found each other and grew close, nothing more.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is: stop being so hard on yourself. So what if people say you're bellow average? Don't even listen to those comments, just live your life and whatever will be will be. Just have fun, forget the girls and try to find some mates and have some fun. I happen to believe that good things happen to those who wait, you just have to live your life to the best of your ability till then and most of all have fun.
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Old 2009-08-31, 22:09   Link #1446
UltimaWolf
~Nani...?~
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: ~Bleh~
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
I can understand this situation. My fiancee originally did not want to date until she was done with school; even when we began to date, we tried to self-limit the time spent together so that it wouldn't have adverse effects. Ultimately we failed in limiting our time together, but our grades didn't suffer. If anything, they improved, and I'd say we were happier and healthier as a result. It was a very positive matchup; not all relationships work out like that.

Thats what we were hoping I guess, that we could limit our time and still do school and work and see each other inbetween, but I guess that didn't work out so well...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
Back to you. How long have you been dating her? Do you think that she's "the one" - the one you want to be with for the rest of your life?
Well we've known each other about a year, we became friends after she liked my best friend and well....thats kind of a wierd long story but you probably don't want to hear all that...anyways we have only been officially dating for almost 4months and we were 'together' for about 6months.
But we were practically together every single day, which didn't seem to bother us, hell even when we didn't see each other for just one day we thought it was bad (and this didn't happen that often) So we were very close...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
Here's how I see it: school is a busy time. Unlike a normal job, where you're free once you leave work, with school it's 24/7 as far as studying and considering class material. Leaving class doesn't make you free. Yet to say that you'll be busier and more stressed out in school than you will at any other point in your life is foolish. Depending on your job, you may find that you're just as busy and that you're still somewhat "on the job" even when you're not sitting at your workplace.

In other words, it's understandable that your girlfriend wants to remove possible distractions that would hinder her performance, but looking ahead that may really be a non-issue. Or if it really is an issue, it may be something that'll negatively impact her even after her classes are over. Your interactions with one another should ebb and flow based around the needs of the other. To cut the relationship entirely and not allow for adjustment represents a failure somewhere in the relationship. In an ideal relationship it should never have to reach that point, because both members would aid one another in their respective goals. Yet the relationship would continue and would provide a positive benefit overall to both.

I don't know what made her decide that she should cut the relationship. Maybe it's too hard on her to have to spend more time away from you; maybe you've been bad about giving her the time she needs (although it doesn't sound that way, based on what you've said). However, time out of the relationship is dangerous for the relationship itself. Some people can stop and restart relationships seemingly without a problem, but time out of a relationship is time that you can both grow apart. It's time that you'll become more alien to each other, less compatible, less caring for the other. The same can happen even if you're officially in a relationship and aren't seeing each other, but the simple committment to the relationship still provides some benefits there.
Yeah, like I said before, I am completely understanding about the situtaion with how important school is to her, but I just wish she didn't break it off completely. If she had wanted me to just keep my distance and not come over even when she asked, and I knew she needed to study, I'd do it and not come over. I guess I just wasn't really paying attention when she would ask me to come over, and not think about the consquences, that it might make her stressed about school afterwards, or get behind, etc. I just though "Yay she wants to spend time with me" So of course I'd come over and see her, It wasn't like I was a idiot or a jerk either, I didn't talk to her when she was studying, I'd give her a neck massage, or quiz her on her problems...I really thought it was going alright. She seemed really happy until yesterday.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
If you really care about her and your relationship with her, I'd talk to her. Remind her that this is a very temporary thing and that other couples work through similar situations. Remind her that you're 100% behind her and that you'll completely leave her alone if that's what she really needs. I'd also talk with her to find out if there isn't something else that's bugging her, and perhaps she's just using this as a front.

Good luck.
Well she just texted me a few minutes ago( first time she said anything to me all day) and we are having a basic chat about work and what we did today...but she isnt mentioning anything about us or last night...Not sure if I should mention it, I'm kinda worried I would upset her more if I brought it up, I'm not even sure how to bring it up. Like I said we work together and we even have one school class together so its not like we won't see each other, it just might be kind of awkard...

I really, really do care about her, and I know she cares about me. I love her and want to be with her and Its not that I'm worried so much about not seeing her as much as I wish I could during school...Its the fact I don't know if she wants to get back together with me after the semester...she did say that she really does love me with all her heart...I'm just worried is all...and I know the only real way I'm going to know is by asking her...Sorry for rambling on as much as I did, I'm usually not like this.
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Old 2009-09-01, 01:03   Link #1447
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post
But we were practically together every single day, which didn't seem to bother us, hell even when we didn't see each other for just one day we thought it was bad (and this didn't happen that often) So we were very close...
That sounds like how I was (and am) with my fiancee, actually. If that's anything to go by, then I think that's something pretty special and worth fighting for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post
I guess I just wasn't really paying attention when she would ask me to come over, and not think about the consquences, that it might make her stressed about school afterwards, or get behind, etc. I just though "Yay she wants to spend time with me" So of course I'd come over and see her, It wasn't like I was a idiot or a jerk either, I didn't talk to her when she was studying, I'd give her a neck massage, or quiz her on her problems...I really thought it was going alright. She seemed really happy until yesterday.
...
I'm kinda worried I would upset her more if I brought it up, I'm not even sure how to bring it up. Like I said we work together and we even have one school class together so its not like we won't see each other, it just might be kind of awkard...
Don't be hard on yourself over spending time with her when she invited you over. You're both adults. If she asks you to come over and she really shouldn't be, then the responsibility lies with her. However, that doesn't mean you can't work with her to avoid temptations like that. If you both agree ahead of time that you won't see her until a certain test is over, or you'll really limit your time - then you can turn down her requests for you to visit. But to do it on your own accord would potentially upset her and cause her to wonder about your true motive for not spending time with her even though she asked.

It's all a matter of communication, and that leads into the second bit that I quoted. In order for a relationship to be truly healthy, both parties need to be willing to address negative issues. It isn't pleasant, especially if you have to be the one to bring it up. It isn't easy. But it has to be done in order for trust, understanding, and affection to remain strong. It's a bit forced and certainly strange, but you seem to be in a situation where you need to bring that issue up in order to maintain the relationship.

Don't worry about things becoming awkward. You care about her, she cares about you, and it sounds like you have a good relationship going - a rarity. For sure you don't want to upset her and possibly risk pushing her away from you, but you also need to have faith in her feelings for you. Isn't pushing for this relationship worth the risk of things becoming awkward? Would you prefer that things just idle as they are, and the relationship possibly decays?

If you can't discuss this with her now, what does that say about the relationship's future prospects? This won't likely be the greatest challenge that the two of you face. Even if you don't end up with her, but with someone else, if you're unable to confront these types of issues then what'll happen to your relationships? Being able to listen and respond to the needs of another is only one critical piece for relationships - you also need to be able to communicate your true feelings. You want to be with her and you're unhappy with letting things end up this way, aren't you? Let her know that. You want what's best for her and you're willing to make sacrifices to that end, but is this really what she feels the best thing is?

Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post
I really, really do care about her, and I know she cares about me. I love her and want to be with her and Its not that I'm worried so much about not seeing her as much as I wish I could during school...Its the fact I don't know if she wants to get back together with me after the semester...she did say that she really does love me with all her heart...I'm just worried is all...and I know the only real way I'm going to know is by asking her...Sorry for rambling on as much as I did, I'm usually not like this.
I'd feel the same way. Yet feeling that way shows a lack of trust and faith on your part. It isn't that you're doing anything wrong by feeling those things - given the circumstances, it's natural for it to arise. As I said above, you need to convey your feelings to her and do what you can to remove your sources of discomfort. If you still lack faith in her love for you then there's a potential for other negative elements to build up and eventually sour the relationship.

Do what you think is right, but don't neglect yourself in the process. A relationship is made up of two people, and its success depends on a fine balance of giving and receiving by both members. You're prepared to give up a lot for her, but don't feel bad about making "selfish" requests here and there.
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Old 2009-09-01, 16:39   Link #1448
Miko Miko
Imouto-Chan♥
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: England
Age: 21
Saw him today.. I was totally wrong..
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Old 2009-09-01, 20:17   Link #1449
Ascaloth
I don't give a damn, dude
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
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Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
Saw him today.. I was totally wrong..
....that doesn't tell us much, Imouto-chan.
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Old 2009-09-01, 23:00   Link #1450
UltimaWolf
~Nani...?~
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: ~Bleh~
Just a quick update incase anyone cares. I just got back from her house, yeah....she invited me over earlier today, to come over at about 6pm for a hour or so, to bake cookies for one of her projects. I was suprised that she wanted me over, but I wanted to see her, and I told myself I would leave the moment she wanted too.
Well me and her and her mom played board games for awhile, then we baked and decorated cookies together, and just basicly had alot of fun and just were together.

Anyways it was about 10pm(Yeah I know....) and we decided that I should go and she get some sleep, it was raining, and we were standing in her garage with the garage open. Well we kept hugging each other, she would say I needed to go then she would come hug me again, vice versa, then for some reason she started to copy everything I said, then with everything I would do, so we played around for a bit doing stupid stuff, eventually we ended up getting outside in the rain and she would push me into one of their cars and slide me across the wet car then I would sling water on her.

So here we are, nighttime, in the rain, both wet, and laughing...it definetly seemed romantic to me, so I decided to take a chance, I pulled back a little and went to kiss her...but she buried her head into my chest, and whispered a No...I hugged her really tight and told her I loved her, and she said it back to me. and we kind of just stayed there for a bit, then we kind of seperated and said quiet goodbyes and walked away, she stood at the doorway for awhile looking at me, and I could only just look back, pretty pathetic huh? She blew me a kiss and I walked to my car and left.
She did text me a little after and said she was sorry, that she wanted to, but this would make it more harder for us both at the moment......bleh I'm basicly just rambling so feel free to ignore this, we texted for a bit and I feel a little better about the whole situtation but still not sure about everything, I'll just have to wait and see for now
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Old 2009-09-02, 01:10   Link #1451
Jazzrat
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Originally Posted by UltimaWolf View Post

She did text me a little after and said she was sorry, that she wanted to, but this would make it more harder for us both at the moment......bleh I'm basicly just rambling so feel free to ignore this, we texted for a bit and I feel a little better about the whole situtation but still not sure about everything, I'll just have to wait and see for now
Hey Ultimawolf, that's really good that you guys had a good time together. Don't worry about not getting the kiss, some girls can be shy about it. Just be patient and enjoy the romantic moments and good chemistry together.

If you are going to try kissing her again, try to get a bit of that good feeling going on first before you do. Give both of u a memorable first kiss to remember.
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Old 2009-09-02, 10:22   Link #1452
kira_lacusXX
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
i just wanted to see if anyone here is or has suffered with this problem that i think i'm having right now.

so i used to watch a loooot of anime and have read a few mangas, and then now moved on to a massive amount of j, k, and tdramas. i also check up on a lot of japanese and korean celebrities because they are just so good looking!

but i also have a boyfriend, and he knows that i love my dramas and asian celebrities and respects that, but i feel that all the romance animes, mangas, and dramas have made my standards and expectations in a relationship go completely skyhigh. i can't appreciate fully the things my boyfriend does for me and it frustrates me that i can't. its almost heartbreaking. he's my first boyfriend, and im lucky to be with such a good boyfriend to start. but everytime i have to choose between my boyfriend and watching my favourite shows and checking up on my favourite male celebrities .. in my heart, i lean towards the latter.

i know.. i really am a horrible girlfriend
but does anyone have this problem? or a solution? or an explanation? im a total noob at this and the basis of my knowledge in relationships is fiction. :S
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Old 2009-09-02, 10:53   Link #1453
jonli
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Originally Posted by kira_lacusXX View Post
i just wanted to see if anyone here is or has suffered with this problem that i think i'm having right now.

so i used to watch a loooot of anime and have read a few mangas, and then now moved on to a massive amount of j, k, and tdramas. i also check up on a lot of japanese and korean celebrities because they are just so good looking!

but i also have a boyfriend, and he knows that i love my dramas and asian celebrities and respects that, but i feel that all the romance animes, mangas, and dramas have made my standards and expectations in a relationship go completely skyhigh. i can't appreciate fully the things my boyfriend does for me and it frustrates me that i can't. its almost heartbreaking. he's my first boyfriend, and im lucky to be with such a good boyfriend to start. but everytime i have to choose between my boyfriend and watching my favourite shows and checking up on my favourite male celebrities .. in my heart, i lean towards the latter.

i know.. i really am a horrible girlfriend
but does anyone have this problem? or a solution? or an explanation? im a total noob at this and the basis of my knowledge in relationships is fiction. :S
I've seen girls with this problem. The solution that I know of is to get a real heartbreak, and mature from it.

All I can say is that although Japanese love stories are great, I watch them too, they are VASTLY different from the real thing. You're probably not going to get crazy evil step mothers that are going to stop you two from dating for no apparent reason. You're not going to get some crazy amnesia that is only going to delete your boyfriend from your mind, and the love between you two bring you back together. He's not going to be as rich and as stupid and as wise as Domyouji from HanaYoriDango. He's probably won't be able to kick ass and look good at the same time.

The real thing, you face real problems that are much uglier and darker. You face financial problems. You face abusive problems. Etc.

Be careful not become a drama queen, because that's never a good thing.
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Old 2009-09-02, 11:09   Link #1454
Dextro
He Without a Title
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Age: 27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonli View Post
All I can say is that although Japanese love stories are great, I watch them too, they are VASTLY different from the real thing. You're probably not going to get crazy evil step mothers that are going to stop you two from dating for no apparent reason. You're not going to get some crazy amnesia that is only going to delete your boyfriend from your mind, and the love between you two bring you back together. He's not going to be as rich and as stupid and as wise as Domyouji from HanaYoriDango. He's probably won't be able to kick ass and look good at the same time.
And he won't be constantly two-timing behind your back and you won't need to kill him and take him on your nice boat... oh wait, too much School Days

Anyway, what jonli said seems right: you need to go through this and learn from it. Anime isn't the real world, quite far from it and that is a lesson that comes with maturity and all the hardships (and good things as well) real life throws at people.
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Old 2009-09-02, 11:27   Link #1455
Rachel Spurrier
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Amarillo,TX
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Originally Posted by Fome View Post
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?

That's what i thought.

I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.

I'm the happiest guy alive.

Yes, i'm being a stupid romantic.
I wish I could say the samething but I have always been too nervise too find out
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Old 2009-09-02, 21:09   Link #1456
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by kira_lacusXX View Post
i just wanted to see if anyone here is or has suffered with this problem that i think i'm having right now.

so i used to watch a loooot of anime and have read a few mangas, and then now moved on to a massive amount of j, k, and tdramas. i also check up on a lot of japanese and korean celebrities because they are just so good looking!

but i also have a boyfriend, and he knows that i love my dramas and asian celebrities and respects that, but i feel that all the romance animes, mangas, and dramas have made my standards and expectations in a relationship go completely skyhigh. i can't appreciate fully the things my boyfriend does for me and it frustrates me that i can't. its almost heartbreaking. he's my first boyfriend, and im lucky to be with such a good boyfriend to start. but everytime i have to choose between my boyfriend and watching my favourite shows and checking up on my favourite male celebrities .. in my heart, i lean towards the latter.

i know.. i really am a horrible girlfriend
but does anyone have this problem? or a solution? or an explanation? im a total noob at this and the basis of my knowledge in relationships is fiction. :S
I've suffered a similar symptom but I'm not sure that the cause is the same.

First, you don't list your age, so it's hard to say. If you're 13, then you don't have anything to worry about. If you're 18+ then maybe. 25+ then definitely. (Age ranges are approximate.)

Let's walk through it, then. You say that you have a great boyfriend. What's great about him? What sort of things does he do that makes him great?

Then let's consider your expectations to find out if they're really over the top. What do you want that your boyfriend isn't giving or doing? What do you want that your boyfriend isn't? (Tall, certain hairstyle, certain type of voice - you get the idea.) What is it about dramas/anime and pop stars that makes you want to spend time there than with your boyfriend? Or is there also something about the reverse - that there's something about your boyfriend that makes you prefer to spend time in fantasy?
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Old 2009-09-02, 21:24   Link #1457
Miyuki-ism
Corpse in Pieces
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada/Ontario
Age: 22
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Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
....that doesn't tell us much, Imouto-chan.
I think she was talking about how she thought persistence can't win someone over.
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Old 2009-09-03, 08:37   Link #1458
VVayfarer
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miyuki-ism View Post
I think she was talking about how she thought persistence can't win someone over.
Or rather, this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
Saying that, I guess you're right. I can't think of a good reply anyway.

and OMG, I saw stalker-guy and guess what!?!

He didn't touch me. He was just normal with me. He didn't even offer me a hug.
He is so out of character *is happy for now* I think I may have reached the next stage.
Or do you think he got the message and backed off?
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Old 2009-09-03, 10:02   Link #1459
Miko Miko
Imouto-Chan♥
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: England
Age: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
....that doesn't tell us much, Imouto-chan.


I wish he'd just fall in a hole he is doing my head in and making me really wound up!!! Grr.. I just want to punch his feelings right out of him

God... lads..
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Old 2009-09-03, 16:45   Link #1460
ITGuy
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ayame_Sohma View Post
Right now im dating this guy and i know i should be happy about it but there is other guy who i am in love with more but he already told me that im not right for him.
Sounds like you are in/out of love. Sometimes being single for a while helps you to take a step back to understand the scenario around you.
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