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Old 2009-10-18, 03:30   Link #1941
Otaku Emperor
Love Conquers All!
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: The Suzumiya Haruhi Section of AnimeSuki, (I placed my main Otaku HQ box there)
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Questionzu.

If people arn't as good looking, how do they get GF's?

Because I dun think there is a good looky machinezu (Plastic surgery dun county).

I just dun understand how they find love den. >.<

Makes love more gambling and not fair >.<
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Old 2009-10-18, 03:38   Link #1942
Ascaloth
I don't give a damn, dude
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
I could.

Firstly, tell me the big lines of what you want to tell to her.

It might cause you some problems if I translate (using nice french words), for example, a text that makes her think that you want to marry her if you're not ready for that.

Words can leave a big impression if the lines have a deep meaning. So, I don't want to write something deep if it's not sincere on your side. It would only hurt her if she starts thinking that you became way more serious about your relationship.

Also, you can write a simple letter, or do some poetry Poetry using French can be nice.
Wow, thanks....but I haven't actually started thinking of anything which I might want to say to her in a handwritten letter yet.

I'll drop you a PM when I've figured what kind of letter I would want to write to her.
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Old 2009-10-18, 06:55   Link #1943
Mystique
Honyaku no Hime
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
I thought I would never need to post in this thread, but apparently a hard reality struck me.

Recently my parents met up with some distant relatives and invited them over. My sister, with her boyfriend, was the subject of smiles until one of them came into my room and asked a question : " Do you have a girlfriend?" Being the male who used his brains more than his mouth, I said, "Why the heck do I need one?"
Rather that sounds like you used your mouth more than your brain.
That response is sarcastic and downright cheeky, but then that fact you swore at them just left me jawdropped xD
- I'd need to have my funeral ready and me death papers set before i ever even consider swearing to my elders and beleive me, your little interogation is nothing compared to some of the family pressures a lot of ethnic minority kids face in the UK, when split between two cultures, chill down a little
Quote:
Immediately they bombarded me with questions like, "Why do you not have one?", "Did you just break up?", "Why don't you go and find?", etc. I just replied in one liners until they went out and offered to matchmake me.

The last straw pissed me off and I went out and snapped, "Where are you going to get the girl from? The red light district? You old people with deteriorating braincells, wake up your bloody idea! Since when do girls nowadays look for a guy who earns less than 4k? You come my house then talk so much bullshit, why don't you use your eyes and look at how the f***ing world has changed in 20 f***king years? The average income of a local here is $5k per month and I am serving my national service, earning 10 times less and you still come here and make so much noise. Go back to your village!"

Often I get people who ask me to, "Go find a girlfriend" in which I can simply slam them back using, "Got lobang(hole/opportunities in Malay, figuratively), intro. No lobang, diam diam (keep your mouth shut)." Naturally people would keep the best for themselves and leave me alone, but this is just too much for me to take when they prod their long noses into a problem I place at ground zero priority and make it sound so important in front of my parents. Now everyone around me is worried that I might turn into a homosexual, hikkikomori or worse : NEET (never going to happen, I believe in working for my own expenditure). If there is a way to quickly find a stand-in which can be quickly dumped on a short notice, life would certainly be easier on those who know the real priorities in life.
Okay, so you're in the dating thread when you have:
zero interest in dating,
being open to it
don't think you need one
or even consider it a 'priority', especially when you think that your current social status wouldn't qualify for a girl to look your way.

What would turn her off moreover is your attitude, swearing isn't pleasant.
No matter how much you're tired of hearing this (take it from someone who's been dealing with that for a long while), they only prod outta concern.
Keeping answers brief (not one liners, per se) and repetitive works better than snapping back in anger or sarcasm, which then puts them on the wrong thinking path that you'll turn out as 'such and such.'

Q. Have a gf?
A. No
Q. Why not?
A. (take your pick)
'I'm focusing more on studies, my career.'
'When the right girl comes, she'll come'
'I'm waiting for God to present the correct moment' (this actually works well, lol)
(insert random 'default reason)
- Not is not the right time for me and I'll find my special lady in my own time.
Don't worry about me.

Whatever you pick, it usually fends them off better, lol.
Companionship with the right partner is a wonderful thing, and humans aren't typically meant to be alone for life.
You're only 20, only just left the hell that is teenagehood, don't be so bitter and resent it so early.
So if they hassle you, it's outta concern, even if it reeeeally doesn't feel like it. Moreover, your attitude probably worries them more, thinking that a girl would be good for you, so maybe you should calmly observe how you carry yourself as a young man?

Just something to think about, but if dating/relationships aren't for ya, then this thread isn't really gonna help much, huh?
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Old 2009-10-18, 07:08   Link #1944
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
Wow, thanks....but I haven't actually started thinking of anything which I might want to say to her in a handwritten letter yet.

I'll drop you a PM when I've figured what kind of letter I would want to write to her.
Okay. It would have been better if you could understand french a bit though. Cos I want to be sure that what I will write or translate is ok for you I don't want to create any problems to you and your GF if I do a mistake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor View Post
Questionzu.

If people arn't as good looking, how do they get GF's?

Because I dun think there is a good looky machinezu (Plastic surgery dun county).

I just dun understand how they find love den. >.<

Makes love more gambling and not fair >.<
They don't.

Spoiler for .:
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Old 2009-10-18, 07:11   Link #1945
Shiemi
Counting days
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
I thought I would never need to post in this thread, but apparently a hard reality struck me.

Recently my parents met up with some distant relatives and invited them over. My sister, with her boyfriend, was the subject of smiles until one of them came into my room and asked a question : " Do you have a girlfriend?" Being the male who used his brains more than his mouth, I said, "Why the heck do I need one?"

Immediately they bombarded me with questions like, "Why do you not have one?", "Did you just break up?", "Why don't you go and find?", etc. I just replied in one liners until they went out and offered to matchmake me.

The last straw pissed me off and I went out and snapped, "Where are you going to get the girl from? The red light district? You old people with deteriorating braincells, wake up your bloody idea! Since when do girls nowadays look for a guy who earns less than 4k? You come my house then talk so much bullshit, why don't you use your eyes and look at how the f***ing world has changed in 20 f***king years? The average income of a local here is $5k per month and I am serving my national service, earning 10 times less and you still come here and make so much noise. Go back to your village!"

Often I get people who ask me to, "Go find a girlfriend" in which I can simply slam them back using, "Got lobang(hole/opportunities in Malay, figuratively), intro. No lobang, diam diam (keep your mouth shut)." Naturally people would keep the best for themselves and leave me alone, but this is just too much for me to take when they prod their long noses into a problem I place at ground zero priority and make it sound so important in front of my parents. Now everyone around me is worried that I might turn into a homosexual, hikkikomori or worse : NEET (never going to happen, I believe in working for my own expenditure). If there is a way to quickly find a stand-in which can be quickly dumped on a short notice, life would certainly be easier on those who know the real priorities in life.
I'm sorry your family is pressuring you like that. Kind of like the opposite I always experienced with my family. They didn't want me or my siblings being in relationships till 25 or so. Eventually, my parents had to change their minds because it was not possible to stop 5 kids from getting into relationships.

Now, on the part of girls not wanting you due to your income, that really depends on the girl and maybe even culture. At least in my case, my first bf had no job or studies, 2nd was a musician who had ran away from home, had no job, and was going to drop out from Uni because of his low grades; and the guy I married and eventually divorced had a job, but was a school dropout. We never had a car or a house of our own, but that didn't matter to me. Our reasons for things not working out had nothing to do with how much he earned or anything like that. Of course, I don't know how the stereotype girl behaves in your homeland.

Edit: On another note, I agree with Mystique. Swearing isn't pleasant and verbal attacks aren't good for solving matters.
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Last edited by Shiemi; 2009-10-18 at 07:23.
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Old 2009-10-18, 07:24   Link #1946
Throne Invader
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I say don't mind those kind of people who are just pressuring you to get a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Well maybe they do care for you but then again at some point it could get annoying. There was this particular high school friend of mine who kept saying I should get a boyfriend or that I should pick 1 out of my admirers

As of now I know I'm not ready to be committed in a relationship and I wanna enjoy being single with no strings attached. I guess everyone views relationships differently though. I actually use some of Mystique's quotes when asked why I don't have a boyfriend but not as a excuse or a line to get myself out of the question. I really do mean it
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Old 2009-10-18, 07:28   Link #1947
Ascaloth
I don't give a damn, dude
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Okay. It would have been better if you could understand french a bit though. Cos I want to be sure that what I will write or translate is ok for you I don't want to create any problems to you and your GF if I do a mistake.
That's cool, really. Hell, you might even help to tutor me in some basic French while you're at it, so it's a good thing either way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi View Post
Now, on the part of girls not wanting you due to your income, that really depends on the girl and maybe even culture. At least in my case, my first bf had no job or studies, 2nd was a musician who had ran away from home, had no job, and was going to drop out from Uni because of his low grades; and the guy I married and eventually divorced had a job, but was a school dropout. We never had a car or a house of our own, but that didn't matter to me. Our reasons for things not working out had nothing to do with how much he earned or anything like that. Of course, I don't know how the stereotype girl behaves in your homeland.
If SaintessHeart is from Singapore as I think he is, then as his fellow countryman, I can corroborate; the girls we have here are generally a product of the materialistic society our [sarcasm]efficient government[/sarcasm] have created here. Putting aside the possible exceptions which can be found in any such assertions, I'm inclined to agree with SaintessHeart's description of the local girls. Hell, I tend to think it's not a coincidence that my first relationship (the current one I'm having now) is with a girl who's not even from this country. And times being what they are, I'm under no illusions about what achievements I'm going to need to attain if I ever get the idea that I want to keep even this relationship for the long term.
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Old 2009-10-18, 07:44   Link #1948
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
That's cool, really. Hell, you might even help to tutor me in some basic French while you're at it, so it's a good thing either way.
Well, in your case, what you really need are only two words:

"Je t'aime"

If you can say that, even if it's just that, your GF will, i think, be happy

Quote:
If SaintessHeart is from Singapore as I think he is, then as his fellow countryman, I can corroborate; the girls we have here are generally a product of the materialistic society our [sarcasm]efficient government[/sarcasm] have created here. Putting aside the possible exceptions which can be found in any such assertions, I'm inclined to agree with SaintessHeart's description of the local girls. Hell, I tend to think it's not a coincidence that my first relationship (the current one I'm having now) is with a girl who's not even from this country. And times being what they are, I'm under no illusions about what achievements I'm going to need to attain if I ever get the idea that I want to keep even this relationship for the long term.
The more I see people writing about singapore girls, the more it scares me (I don't say that as an insult towards your country, I just have some difficulties to understand the mentality)

Are they really all like that?. I mean all.
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Old 2009-10-18, 07:52   Link #1949
Shiemi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post


If SaintessHeart is from Singapore as I think he is, then as his fellow countryman, I can corroborate; the girls we have here are generally a product of the materialistic society our [sarcasm]efficient government[/sarcasm] have created here. Putting aside the possible exceptions which can be found in any such assertions, I'm inclined to agree with SaintessHeart's description of the local girls. Hell, I tend to think it's not a coincidence that my first relationship (the current one I'm having now) is with a girl who's not even from this country. And times being what they are, I'm under no illusions about what achievements I'm going to need to attain if I ever get the idea that I want to keep even this relationship for the long term.
So culture was a good suspicion indeed. It's sad though that the girls there would be like that, especially when they cannot possibly know how the guy will be in some near future.

My 2nd bf/ex bf dumped me precisely because of his situation that time. He said he had nothing to offer me and he wanted me to have a good life. After I got divorced he friended me in FB to know how I had been. We got into friendly terms and he came by my house and told me that he was also divorced, earning a lot, he had a car, a house of his own that he bought with his hard earned money, etc. I am really happy for him and told him so, but after he finished his offer and told me how much he had missed me and looked for me after he 'had something to offer', I had to drop the news that I already have a bf I am really happy with.

It was really awkward, but the point is that even if in the past that guy was broke, he is doing really great now. It's bad to judge when one doesn't know what the future holds, but I guess many girls/women don't share the same mentality and simply judge from what they see in the beginning.
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Old 2009-10-18, 08:12   Link #1950
Ascaloth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Well, in your case, what you really need are only two words:

"Je t'aime"

If you can say that, even if it's just that, your GF will, i think, be happy
I did say that to her before. Didn't turn out perfectly, she ended up correcting me on my pronounciation.

That said, I'm afraid she's probably not entirely convinced whenever I say anything of the sort to her. It's most probably because our relationship is still young, so she's not 100% convinced of my sincerity (can't really blame her, considering how fast I've been moving with my initial approach and the relationship itself in question ), but eh.

I still say that to her regularly though, and maybe she'll be completely convinced one day.

Quote:
The more I see people writing about singapore girls, the more it scares me (I don't say that as an insult towards your country, I just have some difficulties to understand the mentality)

Are they really all like that?. I mean all.
Well, as any reasonable person would say, of course it's not all of them. There are some girls with good characters out there, and I'd dare say much the same can be said of the girls in any other culture. But that said, it does seem at least to me that the majority of girls here are vain, shallow, materialistic, or any combination of the three, and the few of them who actually have some substance to their characters.....let's just say it's a high-demand low-supply situation.

So no offense taken, Narona. There are times when I think my countrymen deserve the barbs aimed their way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiemi View Post
So culture was a good suspicion indeed. It's sad though that the girls there would be like that, especially when they cannot possibly know how the guy will be in some near future.
To be perfectly honest, I don't think of it as a completely bad thing when the ladies consider a man's financial situation as an important factor. Considering the society and the times we live in, I can totally see where they're coming from; in a land like this where the cost of living is already exorbitant and rising every day, it's quite reasonable that no girl would or should settle for a deadbeat who can't pull his weight in a family (be it earning the bread or being the househusband). No offense intended, Shiemi.

So no, I have no qualms about girls being a little materialistic since it's a matter of ensuring a decent standard of living for the future; but when a lot of the things one hears from the mouths of the girls around him tend to revolve around shopping, fashions, brands, spending money, having fun, marrying rich guys and pretty much little else, it's hard not to develop a rather low opinion of the local girls where their calibre is concerned.
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Old 2009-10-18, 08:37   Link #1951
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
I did say that to her before. Didn't turn out perfectly, she ended up correcting me on my pronounciation.

That said, I'm afraid she's probably not entirely convinced whenever I say anything of the sort to her. It's most probably because our relationship is still young, so she's not 100% convinced of my sincerity (can't really blame her, considering how fast I've been moving with my initial approach and the relationship itself in question ), but eh.

I still say that to her regularly though, and maybe she'll be completely convinced one day.
Well, I guess you could convince her by using another kind of sentence, but if you ever do it, I hope you'll take the responsibility of such words.

Something like "Tu es la personne la plus importante à mes yeux. La personne avec qui je veux faire ma vie. Celle que je veux voir chaque matin quand j'ouvre les yeux. Celle dont je veux prendre soin, aimer et chérir dans les moments de joie, comme dans les moments de tristesse jusqu'à ce que la mort nous sépare."

I guess it would work, but such statement of deep love can only lead to commitment. So only use such words when you'll see her as your Fiançée.

Quote:
Well, as any reasonable person would say, of course it's not all of them. There are some girls with good characters out there, and I'd dare say much the same can be said of the girls in any other culture. But that said, it does seem at least to me that the majority of girls here are vain, shallow, materialistic, or any combination of the three, and the few of them who actually have some substance to their characters.....let's just say it's a high-demand low-supply situation.

So no offense taken, Narona. There are times when I think my countrymen deserve the barbs aimed their way.
I see. But anyways, other cultures have their own problems, I guess ^^
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Old 2009-10-18, 08:43   Link #1952
Ascaloth
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Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Well, I guess you could convince her by using another kind of sentence, but if you ever do it, I hope you'll take the responsibility of such words.

Something like "Tu es la personne la plus importante à mes yeux. La personne avec qui je veux faire ma vie. Celle que je veux voir chaque matin quand j'ouvre les yeux. Celle dont je veux prendre soin, aimer et chérir dans les moments de joie, comme dans les moments de tristesse jusqu'à ce que la mort nous sépare."

I guess it would work, but such statement of deep love can only lead to commitment. So only use such words when you'll see her as your Fiançée.
I had to run that phrase through Google Translate.

I'll keep that phrase in mind for possible usage if and when I decide to propose to her.
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Old 2009-10-18, 09:49   Link #1953
Dextro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascaloth View Post
To be perfectly honest, I don't think of it as a completely bad thing when the ladies consider a man's financial situation as an important factor. Considering the society and the times we live in, I can totally see where they're coming from; in a land like this where the cost of living is already exorbitant and rising every day, it's quite reasonable that no girl would or should settle for a deadbeat who can't pull his weight in a family (be it earning the bread or being the househusband). No offense intended, Shiemi.

So no, I have no qualms about girls being a little materialistic since it's a matter of ensuring a decent standard of living for the future; but when a lot of the things one hears from the mouths of the girls around him tend to revolve around shopping, fashions, brands, spending money, having fun, marrying rich guys and pretty much little else, it's hard not to develop a rather low opinion of the local girls where their calibre is concerned.
I can't believe they're all like that I understand you would find a lot of girls talking like that, in fact I saw a lot of that here in Portugal before I entered college so I can understand but now I don't see that as much... unfortunately I see a lot more of the importance being placed on drinking and going out so I can't really say it's better...

Oh well, my point is that probably it's just a local thing. Maybe the big population centers have become that way but I'm willing to bet that there are still a lot of decent girls and probably some of them just go along with that type of conversation to fit in and not because that's what they really think. (Or at least I want to believe that )
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Old 2009-10-18, 10:44   Link #1954
Shinoto
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Nothing wrong with considering money.

If you're looking for a long term relationship, It's a legitimate factor
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Old 2009-10-18, 11:16   Link #1955
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otaku Emperor View Post
Questionzu.

If people arn't as good looking, how do they get GF's?

Because I dun think there is a good looky machinezu (Plastic surgery dun county).

I just dun understand how they find love den. >.<

Makes love more gambling and not fair >.<
You mean some people aren't good looking? *shot*

Okay, okay, seriously.

You don't have to be good looking to find a girlfriend. What a lot of girls look for in a man is a good personality, someone who can relate to them and share their interests. If he's good looking, that's certainly a plus, and it's true that a lot of women look for handsome men first before they look for sweet men. But beauty is only skin deep. Looks can attract a girl, but a good personality can convince her to stay.
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Old 2009-10-18, 17:14   Link #1956
Miyuki-ism
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
You mean some people aren't good looking? *shot*

Okay, okay, seriously.

You don't have to be good looking to find a girlfriend. What a lot of girls look for in a man is a good personality, someone who can relate to them and share their interests. If he's good looking, that's certainly a plus, and it's true that a lot of women look for handsome men first before they look for sweet men. But beauty is only skin deep. Looks can attract a girl, but a good personality can convince her to stay.
However this does not apply in high school.

Seriously, I have a lot of awesome friends who aren't the best looking but have an awesome personality like no other.
Yet the girls in my school seem to go after the good looking dumb ones. XD

But this is only senior high school, so it doesn't really matter.
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Old 2009-10-18, 17:27   Link #1957
Kusa-San
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Originally Posted by Miyuki-ism View Post
However this does not apply in high school.

Seriously, I have a lot of awesome friends who aren't the best looking but have an awesome personality like no other.
Yet the girls in my school seem to go after the good looking dumb ones. XD

But this is only senior high school, so it doesn't really matter.
Sadly it's not only in high school, it's the same in university too. There is a lot of girl who cares only about physical appearance. And it's the same girl who have sex just for fun >_>

However even if I say that, I think your physique is something you need to take care of. I think it's normal for a girl to like more a boy who is good looking.
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Old 2009-10-18, 20:38   Link #1958
Shinoto
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Honestly, If you think it is all looks. You are doing something way ****ing wrong. Normally the guys with good looks also develop something on the side called confidence...which leads to charm, good sense of humor, fun to be around, and all that jazz. The type of guy who can actually carry on a conversation with a lady without it being awkwardly painful.

When you have a nice chest. What are you more bound to do: Act awkward, change in the corner, wear a shirt while going swimming, etc? Or are you more likely to just rip it off and get on with your life? Now who is going look more fun to be around. One seems to have confidence and the other doesn't. I also used "chest" since it is something you work on. Not are given. Very few people are "ugly". Most so called ugly people just don't give a **** about their appearance, therefore they look terrible(Note I say most, not all)


"And it's the same girl who have sex just for fun >_> "
You know, it's possible for girls to enjoy sex also. Just like a guy. You're making it sound like they are some shallow whore >_>
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Old 2009-10-18, 21:28   Link #1959
LeoXiao
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinoto View Post

You know, it's possible for girls to enjoy sex also. Just like a guy. You're making it sound like they are some shallow whore >_>
Hey, a guy who likes to have sex just for fun can be a shallow whore as well!
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Old 2009-10-18, 21:41   Link #1960
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Hey! I like to have sex for fun, as I'm sure most people do... that hardly makes me a shallow whore. =P
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