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Old 2009-09-09, 09:21   Link #321
Khu
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Yeah, usually a good sized chapter would be...around 2k. maybe 3.
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Old 2009-09-09, 09:53   Link #322
Kogetsu Shirogane
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Okay, after reading it, I've only got two problems...

Quote:
We're going in first to secure a possible LZ for more troops, then moving up to establish Alpha Base. It's a covert insertion, if you can call dropping from the sky into a forest 'covert'.
The last bit here doesn't really sound like something Haruhi would say. That's more of a Kyon thing.

Quote:
Anyway, Haruhi ordered us to each take M7S, except obviously for Nagato, who's sniping skills were awesome to behold.
The "who's" should be whose.


Aside from those two things, it's pretty good.
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... well at least it's consistent...
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Old 2009-09-10, 01:24   Link #323
Khu
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I had to look up a whole lot of stuff to try and make it as accurate as possible. And now I realise about the last sentence XD I thought you were talking about the technical military stuff. Yeah that does seem more like Kyon. I'll edit it after I get past some stuff that should round it off for quite a bit.
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Old 2009-09-10, 08:57   Link #324
Kogetsu Shirogane
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I probably should've been a bit more specific with that, huh?
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... well at least it's consistent...
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Old 2009-09-10, 09:39   Link #325
Khu
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New chapter up. Will edit out mistakes and other stuff once I get to my checkpoint XD
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Old 2009-09-10, 09:46   Link #326
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Spoiler:
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... well at least it's consistent...
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Old 2009-09-10, 09:49   Link #327
Khu
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Old 2009-09-13, 09:16   Link #328
Khu
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Double post but meh. UPDATED.
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Old 2009-09-13, 10:01   Link #329
Kogetsu Shirogane
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That link doesn't work.
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... well at least it's consistent...
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Old 2009-09-13, 11:44   Link #330
Joe4evr
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Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post
That link doesn't work.
Works fine for me.
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Old 2009-09-13, 11:53   Link #331
Roger Rambo
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When I first clicked the link, it worked. When I clicked it after K.S. mentioned it didn't work, it didn't work.

Now that I clicked it again after Joe said it worked, it worked.

What the fuck?
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Old 2009-09-13, 13:06   Link #332
Kogetsu Shirogane
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The site keeps saying there's only the prologue and first two chapters. I don't really know what to make of this.
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... well at least it's consistent...
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Old 2009-09-14, 03:35   Link #333
Khu
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Whaaat the EFF.

I'll look into this guys.

Aight TRY THIS.
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Old 2009-09-14, 11:52   Link #334
Kogetsu Shirogane
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... I figured it might have been a problem with my browser, so I tried it in a different one. Still nothing, so I tried a third. Still nothing. I honestly have no clue what's happening here. Fanfiction.net must dislike me, as I can't think of any other reason for this.

On the plus side, your profile is at least acknowledging that there are four entries in the story.

*e* It's working now. Will either edit this to avoid a double post or... well, post if someone else responds first.

*e2* Ewww... poor Haruhi. (Poor generic enemy, too...)

*e3* For the record, it seems to be down again.
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WARNING: Kogetsu Shirogane cannot be held accountable for any actions taken by someone else. Potential side effects of communicating with this user include headaches, mild confusion, insanity, delirium, and jumping into fires. Do not expose this user to sunlight or water or feed this user after midnight.
... well at least it's consistent...

Last edited by Kogetsu Shirogane; 2009-09-14 at 13:14.
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Old 2009-09-14, 17:45   Link #335
PrincessFrani
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Okay, I've been working on this story since a year ago even though there are only a few chapters. WARNING: Some characters will be OOC or gender-bent. It mainly stars Yuki since we all love her the most.

The Sorcery of Yuki Nagato:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5373061/...of_Yuki_Nagato
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Old 2009-09-14, 17:47   Link #336
Tornadium
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFrani View Post
since we all love her the most.
I beg to differ good sir!

Oh and thanks for the link, Going to have a looksee now. I'll post feedback when i get done.
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Old 2009-09-14, 17:51   Link #337
PrincessFrani
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Originally Posted by Tornadium View Post
I beg to differ good sir!

Oh and thanks for the link, Going to have a looksee now. I'll post feedback when i get done.
I'm a girl actually.
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Old 2009-09-14, 17:53   Link #338
Tornadium
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Originally Posted by PrincessFrani View Post
I'm a girl actually.
Oh well,

um. Good Ma'am?
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Old 2009-09-14, 17:57   Link #339
PrincessFrani
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Originally Posted by Tornadium View Post
Oh well,

um. Good Ma'am?
That works!
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Old 2009-09-14, 23:14   Link #340
Kogetsu Shirogane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFrani View Post
Forceful Nagato is nice. Archer girl Kyonko is good, too.

... Not sure what to make of Haruki the Bard, though.
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WARNING: Kogetsu Shirogane cannot be held accountable for any actions taken by someone else. Potential side effects of communicating with this user include headaches, mild confusion, insanity, delirium, and jumping into fires. Do not expose this user to sunlight or water or feed this user after midnight.
... well at least it's consistent...
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