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Old 2007-05-11, 03:31   Link #81
USB500
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Post Hikki Kokurabuji

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoweGear View Post
That would depend on how many references you do want to put in... for some people (like me), references are a good easter egg to find in a character profile or series, since it connects you to something familiar. Hell, one can say that we have arrived at a time when it would be pretty difficult to create a new character without unwittingly referencing an object from an earlier work.
off all things I want to think of, this is the only one I can agree with ATM. I don't know why, but IMO it is necessary to have reference to other shows as long as it's not too obvious or people would call it "rip-off".

less talk, more posting!
Spoiler for very long and contains spoiler of future events:


Okay, I've changed several stuffs in the profile, especially those that involve Chronograph and Time Halt. If there are anything more, please don't hesitate to inform me.
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Last edited by USB500; 2007-05-11 at 23:36. Reason: changed the latin phrases and adding extra contents on Background
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Old 2007-05-11, 03:49   Link #82
Timeless Enigma
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You bring up some good points dkellis in identifying the difficulties in creating a genuine character, but I think it all depends on how true you want to be to canon. We don't have all of the information on TSAB and I doubt we ever will so there's going to have to be some made up stuff. I would like to know more information on just how TSAB structures it's armed forces, but I'm not really going to wait until that kind of information is revealed and then finally translated. I don't think one should worry about super-accuracy as long as it fits the purpose of the character/story. And if we do get the information in the end, I would just treat whatever I've inferred as AU. I know once why model of TSAB gets blown to shreds I'll make some revisions here and there, but unless you're a perfectionist (maybe you are) I wouldn't stress on that too much.

But then again, I was never aiming for such super-accuracy that my character would be able to seamlessly fit into the canon situation, there's simply not enough information available (to me at least) to approach this task like that.

The age issue can be a problem as well but not everyone can be a super-soldier still in their teens, and the difficulty in relationships between a younger and older generation may be a good theme to explore. I didn't want my character to be too young, I made him 21, and then I realize Chrono in StrikerS is 25 . Granted my character hasn't reached the pinnacle of his career yet, but I don't think age is as big a problem as it seems to be. I'm actually thinking of upping his age, maybe 24.

I do think the references got out of hand though in StrikerS.
Mainly when I watch Subaru, I feel like I'm watching a parody anime...
I won't comment on the original characters being created though as every creator here has their tastes.

On a side note, I'm actually going through a 2nd draft phase on the brief introduction to my fic. Hopefully this motivation won't die on me.
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Old 2007-05-11, 03:54   Link #83
Aaron008R
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USB500 View Post
Is he a bit too overpowered? I think he is, IMO.
Yup. Pretty broken to me. You just had to use time control in making your character. That's the thing that's making him so broken. Time Halt also seems to be practically flawless.

In any case, despite the cheesiness, I like how your character went out. I sometimes tend to not mind overpowered characters as long as a very interesting story is involved. Your background qualifies as very interesting to me. Are you planning on writing his fic anytime soon? I'll be looking forward to it. I'm particularly anticipating the Aces vs Hikki fight.

But still, a little toning down wouldn't be too bad wouldn't it?

Last edited by Aaron008R; 2007-05-11 at 04:57.
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Old 2007-05-11, 03:58   Link #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron008R View Post
Yup. Pretty broken to me. You just had to use time control in making your character. That's the thing that's making him so broken. Time Halt also seems to be practically flawless.

In any case, despite the cheesiness, I like how your character went out. I tend to not mind overpowered characters as long as a very interesting story is involved. Your background proved to be very interesting to me. Are you planning on writing his fic anytime soon. I'll be looking forward to it. I'm particularly anticipating the Aces vs Hikki fight.

But still, a little toning down wouldn't be too bad wouldn't it?
Yes, I know it's broken. That's why I'm asking for feedbacks. (gotta repair it a bit after this). I won't be able to update its edit until tomorrow (the thing is, I have exams starting tomorrow; hope I can survive the battlefield )

Actually he's been featured in my previous fanfics, but this will be his final fanfic (Lyrical of Time-wise, though). I must note here that his appearance won't take place until very later.
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Old 2007-05-11, 04:11   Link #85
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dkellis View Post
I have to wonder: how necessary are the references to other fictional universes? I'm wondering if it'll make immersion harder: every time I read about Keroko's Neltharion aspect, for example, I have to remind myself that this is Nanoha, not Warcraft.

But then we have all these automobile references in the canon, and I can only rely on my general lack of automotive knowledge in order to watch the show and not think "car". So I wonder.
They don't need to be necessary, the apect magic was simply an item spawned from my overactive imagination, which was thought of way before I discovered Nanoha was filled with references. I thought it was a cool item to spread my characters wings, make her more unique and give her a drama story, and went for it.

Creating characters is somehwat of a hobby for me. Usually characters I create for my own enjoyment rarely leave my head at all, in fact, Keroko is the first one who will do so... this weekend probably (the currently posted Keroko is a more 'comercial' one, as she hardly affects the plot at all).

-For Kria, the strangest aspect of your character is, to me, the fact that Gigantus seems to work in the direct oposite of any other ID. Now, I'm not sure if you're familiar with the manga (correct me if I'm wrong) but normally Intelligent Devices 'drain' the magical energies emanating from their users. I'm not quite sure of the 'why' myself either -my personal theory is that they use it as their powersource- but to see an intelligent device actually give energy comes of as, well, odd. There's nothing wrong with it, mind you, but a bit more indept explanation as to how it works differently would be cool.

-I love the incantation. I'm going to include Keroko's as well when I finish her.
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Last edited by Keroko; 2007-05-11 at 04:28.
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Old 2007-05-11, 04:38   Link #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
-I love the incantation. I'm going to include Keroko's as well when I finish her.
if you're referring to my character, I'm flattered. FYI, translating it using the online translator was a pain in the butt. I can't find the decent translator, and I have to modify some of the original texts to make them sound sensible.

Okay, I've changed several stuffs in the profile, especially those that involve Chronograph and Time Halt. If there are anything more, please don't hesitate to inform me.
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Old 2007-05-11, 04:40   Link #87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dkellis View Post
One problem I have with Ivey is that I've made her too, well, odd in terms of personality. She'd be the "main character" of the story in much the same way Haruhi is the "main character" of MoHS: she's the one with plenty of screentime, but the one whom the audience is actually supposed to identify with is likely to be yet another character who's the tsukkomi to Ivey's bokke. (In fact, I can feel another Original Character idea coming on...) I realize that this may not actually be necessary, but my writing style is too ingrained towards the Serious Put-Upon Narrator (even if it's third-person).

This would work better if there were a larger cast to play off each other's quirks, and while we already have a pre-made cast in the canon crew, this brings up the problem of not actually having an excuse (that isn't completely contrived, anyway) for Ivey to interact with Nanoha and co. for any length of time.

On another note, I've mentioned a few problems I came across when creating a character, and I'd like to elaborate on them here:

Spoiler for length:

After all this whining, I'll have to thank anyone who read all that, and ask: how would you solve the above problems? Or do you have any comments on them?
Sadly, I'm the canon-perfectionist. I tried to get my hands on every single piece of official Nanohaverse media to make sure everything fit, but I never knew Fate's real past was revealed in a light novel. And so for 2 years now I've gone on my merry way, built that awesome portfolio with a character that grew until he became me, and suddenly, it's back to the drawing board.

BUT after that whine, I'm inspired to get things right this time.

I don't normally reference more than once for a character. Kha was a special case cos it was based on my love to reference anything and everything under the sun. loli Nanoka was CLAMP reference heavy because she was ported from an older character set in the CCS universe. Tessa is one big reference herself for kicks. If its an OC grown fully from canon material, he/she would have next to zero references.

I agree with Lowe. Kha's weapon design was based on crude, rudimentary but nonetheless original schematics from my primary school days (ah that yellow parchment), but in the end it turned out to be a cousin of Strada.

For age, I find no problem. In fact, I find the Nanohaverse the perfect place to follow someone's life right through the ages without feeling like I'm worshiping the character in delusion. Hence why I can even imagine a Mahou Seijo Classical Nanoha without feeling funny while a Cardcaptor Sakura at that age spooks me.

For the most of it, I go by this principle: As long as its not mentioned specifically in canon, you can play with it. After that, pray that later canon doesn't contradict you. Nanoha's probably my first anime that I've written a main-cast interacting fic and every day I'm just living in fear of being contradicted. And part of the reason is that I never expected StrikerS to be released, otherwise I would've never started.

My favorite approach to writing fanfics a non-concluded series is to do it as a side story, opening up a new POV on an existing conflict. If my weird "self-promoting" short stories were anything to go by (I only started using my pseudonym Kha IRL after landing in Australia and discovering all the weird permutations of my real name.), it was the A's arc that explored the Knights' softer sides while developing the main character that was most well-received. The others were almost totally about Kha and didn't qualify as a Nanoha fanfic, but an unoriginal parallel series.

And another thing: I got to admit every time someone here states their stand on OC creation, my mind just creates a mold in line with his statements. For Skane, I got a normal girl character trying to keep up with her colleagues. For Nighty, I've gained an old Ancient Velka knight with a dark secret who wanders the universe as one of TSAB's best free agent but due to canon evidence was killed in time for StrikerS, Tomino-style. And for dkellis, you have inspired me to craft a char fully devoid of references, perfectly straight, totally without canon interaction but set in the same universe, and somehow she turned into the most Nagato character I've ever created. Probably from all the restrictions I placed on her. But don't get me wrong; I'm not lampooning anyone here; I just do it naturally. In fact, I thank you, for this session so far has added so much variation to my cast.

Oh and the muggle character you mentioned who has a crush with Fate? It's right here on paper. It was first person, and hence he's nameless. But it wasn't very hard; I just wrote it from my RL POV. LOL
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Old 2007-05-11, 04:53   Link #88
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USB500 View Post
if you're referring to my character, I'm flattered. FYI, translating it using the online translator was a pain in the butt. I can't find the decent translator, and I have to modify some of the original texts to make them sound sensible.
Just out of curiosity, is that latin?

And Halcyon... Star Wars reference? I do see some interesting potential for conflict between Nozdorumu and Nagalintar (Nagalintar wouldn't happen to be a bronze collored dragon, would he?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha
Sadly, I'm the canon-perfectionist. I tried to get my hands on every single piece of official Nanohaverse media to make sure everything fit, but I never knew Fate's real past was revealed in a light novel. And so for 2 years now I've gone on my merry way, built that awesome portfolio with a character that grew until he became me, and suddenly, it's back to the drawing board.
I know the feeling, Keroko still keeps changing every time. One of the reasons why I hardly ever put anything on paper.
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Old 2007-05-11, 04:58   Link #89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Just out of curiosity, is that latin?

And Halcyon... Star Wars reference? I do see some interesting potential for conflict between Nozdorumu and Nagalintar (Nagalintar wouldn't happen to be a bronze collored dragon, would he?)
Yes, it's Latin.

Halcyon is more of Alcyone reference. I'm not sure of what you're trying to ask regarding Nagalintar, but it's actually my original dragon for one of my fantasy stories (which, sadly, never becomes alive). Its role in my current story is as the Dragon of Time, Eternal Guardian of Planet Narulia. It plays important role in Hikki's life (it's in effect his god-father) before the twist of fate decides the otherwise.

Err... Nozdorumu?
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Old 2007-05-11, 05:03   Link #90
Keroko
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Err... Nozdorumu?
Nozdormu, "the timeless one" is one of the five dragon aspects in my characters universe. He's a giant bronze dragon, a guardian of time.

He's also a huge Warcraft reference
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Old 2007-05-11, 05:08   Link #91
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Nozdormu, "the timeless one" is one of the five dragon aspects in my characters universe. He's a giant bronze dragon, a guardian of time.

He's also a huge Warcraft reference
cool. that should be inspiring enough for me to write a prequel for Nagalintar. (too bad I haven't got the time to visualize it; it would be awesome to have Nagalintar drawn, wouldn't it?).

Ah, so the Aspect Dragons come from there? No wonder I saw the name "Deathwing."

I think working on my three characters (Annabelle, L****** G*******, and Hikki) has caused me too much strength. I'll have to take a break to allow my brain to recover, and also to allow me to concentrate on tomorrow's exam. Speaking of which, does our three Aces ever need to take examinations?
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Old 2007-05-11, 05:10   Link #92
Keroko
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Speaking of which, does our three Aces ever need to take examinations?
Yes, yes they do. In fact, Fate failed hers twice in a row (though that was because she was concerned for Nanoha's health at the time).
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Old 2007-05-11, 05:18   Link #93
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Haha...people are sad seeing Flora die.

JUST AS PLANNED!:P

Actually, not really. Graham is my favourite Nanoha-verse character after al and even though I love to torture my main characters, I like happy endings as well, but canon implies he never married, which = screwed love life. It's the writer's fault, not mine! All I did was...give out my version of his screwed love life.

It's so hard being canon perfectionist isn't it, especially when one wants to tie in with the flowing timeline.

The recent revelations of revisiting Fate's past with Project F also pretty much half-destroyed my foundations for Corsa "ZONE" Testarossa...as you can expect it, Fate's biological father. Just as his name implies, his powers are somewhat similar to Tezuka Zone from Prince of Tennis, and he has a huge hulking monster of a sword to boot. And he's broken as hell either. Who knows, if StrikerS chooses to be elusive on her father, then I'll post it.

@Kha

I find funny that my characters inspire an old Velka Knight with dark secrets wandering, since in my Velka AtaraXia Romance planned sequel fic, it has exactly THAT.
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Old 2007-05-11, 06:09   Link #94
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It is kinda of bad to be over-referencing, but then again you can't stop us from loving to do so!

Quote:
Originally Posted by USB500 View Post
I think working on my three characters (Annabelle, L****** G*******, and Hikki) has caused me too much strength. I'll have to take a break to allow my brain to recover, and also to allow me to concentrate on tomorrow's exam. Speaking of which, does our three Aces ever need to take examinations?
L**** G****? Lowe Gear?

Yes they do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by USB500 View Post
Yes, it's Latin.

Halcyon is more of Alcyone reference. I'm not sure of what you're trying to ask regarding Nagalintar, but it's actually my original dragon for one of my fantasy stories (which, sadly, never becomes alive). Its role in my current story is as the Dragon of Time, Eternal Guardian of Planet Narulia. It plays important role in Hikki's life (it's in effect his god-father) before the twist of fate decides the otherwise.
Correcting the grammar using what I've learned for that dead language, the summons becomes:

hic sub animo inconsessi
ego uoco te exorire
inflecte pro mihi et temerarire meas uoces,
te enim, cui illa signum solvo
suscitati, et fi quos te verum esse

It's all supposed to be in caps as there's no lower case in Latin, and only names have a special case, which here does not mention a name therefore we don't have to worry about that.

This was done with me and my friend, a fellow Meddie. He's better at Latin than I am, even though we both took the module.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Nozdormu, "the timeless one" is one of the five dragon aspects in my characters universe. He's a giant bronze dragon, a guardian of time.

He's also a huge Warcraft reference
I balked when I saw them being used as the Aspects rather than the D&D ones. At least these guys give more variety than choosing between acid and fire.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightengale View Post
Haha...people are sad seeing Flora die.

JUST AS PLANNED!:P

Actually, not really. Graham is my favourite Nanoha-verse character after al and even though I love to torture my main characters, I like happy endings as well, but canon implies he never married, which = screwed love life. It's the writer's fault, not mine! All I did was...give out my version of his screwed love life.

It's so hard being canon perfectionist isn't it, especially when one wants to tie in with the flowing timeline.

The recent revelations of revisiting Fate's past with Project F also pretty much half-destroyed my foundations for Corsa "ZONE" Testarossa...as you can expect it, Fate's biological father. Just as his name implies, his powers are somewhat similar to Tezuka Zone from Prince of Tennis, and he has a huge hulking monster of a sword to boot. And he's broken as hell either. Who knows, if StrikerS chooses to be elusive on her father, then I'll post it.

@Kha

I find funny that my characters inspire an old Velka Knight with dark secrets wandering, since in my Velka AtaraXia Romance planned sequel fic, it has exactly THAT.
Ah well join the club of authors... I'm reconstructing Kha's relationship with Alicia according to the novel, and hence its turning into some sort of loli-shouta Four and Camille thingy, with Presea and Alicia on one side and Kha and his "exploiter" on the other side of the industrial arguement. At least that's what I'm thinking, I still need to confirm with Darco if my understanding of the Chinese trans is correct.

Errrrrr... Oops have you mentioned it before? Sorry if I ripped something off. :P

I read your statement of your liking of older characters when that guy popped into my head. He has now been given a role as I realized that Kha didn't have a mentor to teach him the ways of the Velka. In fact on hindsight Kha 'spontaneously' specialized into Velka right smack in the middle of MC, and that seemed plain wrong now. As for that dark secret... Wait for the Lyri-Kha short stories? OMG corny title...
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Old 2007-05-11, 09:02   Link #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
-For Kria, the strangest aspect of your character is, to me, the fact that Gigantus seems to work in the direct oposite of any other ID. Now, I'm not sure if you're familiar with the manga (correct me if I'm wrong) but normally Intelligent Devices 'drain' the magical energies emanating from their users. I'm not quite sure of the 'why' myself either -my personal theory is that they use it as their powersource- but to see an intelligent device actually give energy comes of as, well, odd. There's nothing wrong with it, mind you, but a bit more indept explanation as to how it works differently would be cool.
The drain is speculated was for training, not for actual use, so I don't see any contradiction.
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Old 2007-05-11, 09:07   Link #96
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The drain is speculated was for training, not for actual use, so I don't see any contradiction.
It was? Nevermind then.
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Old 2007-05-11, 09:15   Link #97
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Arrow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meophist View Post
The drain is speculated was for training, not for actual use, so I don't see any contradiction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
It was? Nevermind then.
Only some people have speculated it to be an active drain. More people are of the opinion that RH is a passive drain.

For Intelligent Devices in general though, I will agree that it is an active drain. RH seems to be a special case.

Cheers.
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Old 2007-05-11, 10:36   Link #98
Keroko
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Originally Posted by Skane View Post
Only some people have speculated it to be an active drain. More people are of the opinion that RH is a passive drain.

For Intelligent Devices in general though, I will agree that it is an active drain. RH seems to be a special case.

Cheers.
So its an interpretation? Whew, for a moment I thought I had missed yet another piece of information due to novels/sound stages.
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Old 2007-05-11, 10:49   Link #99
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So its an interpretation? Whew, for a moment I thought I had missed yet another piece of information due to novels/sound stages.
Well, yes, those are the two interpretations of the text in the manga. Either Raising Heart is doing it for training, or it's a property of Raising Heart. I personally believe it's the former.
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Old 2007-05-11, 10:57   Link #100
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Although there is more evidence to support the latter, since reading through the text, there's no real link between training, and the energy drain.

And I believe we're going OT here sure enough.

And to return to this topic's original purpose, here's Part II of Kay's Spell list:

Spoiler for Length:
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