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Old 2010-05-25, 23:43   Link #3761
Kudryavka
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Join Date: May 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbitres View Post
I've recently thought up a question.

What causes loneliness? It's something I can't seem to grasp. Some people don't feel lonely when they themselves aren't around other things (animals, other people, plants, etc)

So I reiterate: What causes loneliness? Is it psychological-biased or envrionmental/nurture-biased?
I believe loneliness to stem from a person's psychological being. Like you said, some people feel at ease when alone, and others can feel totally isolated when in the middle of a group of people. I think that it relies on how much a person feels a need for companionship. It may also vary directly to how in- or extroverted a person is. Intros are fine alone, and extros seek attention.
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Old 2010-05-26, 00:46   Link #3762
Zu Ra
✖ ǝʇ ɯıqnɾl ☆
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Mortuary : D
Quote:
Originally Posted by ganbaru View Post
Is there a clear distiction betweem erotic and pornographic ?
Erotica can be Visually Appealing i.e. Art .... while Pornography is just Vulgar

What is Erotica is and What is Pornography is dependent on ones perception . The main difference is the artistic appeal . There is a thin line separating these two ..

Regarding perception, check up the video of Duran Duran - Girls on Film (Uncensored) on YTube
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Old 2010-05-27, 10:19   Link #3763
greedyisgood
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Do guys who had experienced sex becomes less interested in watching porn or talking about porn with his friends?
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Old 2010-05-27, 12:42   Link #3764
Vexx
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by greedyisgood View Post
Do guys who had experienced sex becomes less interested in watching porn or talking about porn with his friends?
First, lets assume we're not talking about morons. Its more of a situation that "porn" itself just gets boring after a while unless its a component of a decent storyline and interesting characters. Without that... simple repetition dulls the attraction. Most porn is repetitive and boring. Erotic stories, otoh....

Second.... some people *talk* about porn with their friends???? o.O Boring much? How long can such a conversation last? 1:"wow, that was hot" 2: "yeah" ... Then there's the "do you really want to know what your best buddy's fetish is?" issue.

Third... there's probably little correlation between being sexually active and changing attitude towards "porn" (or rather, erotic material). Some people get more obsessed, some drop much of any interest.
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Old 2010-05-27, 13:09   Link #3765
oompa loompa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
First, lets assume we're not talking about morons. Its more of a situation that "porn" itself just gets boring after a while unless its a component of a decent storyline and interesting characters. Without that... simple repetition dulls the attraction. Most porn is repetitive and boring. Erotic stories, otoh....

Second.... some people *talk* about porn with their friends???? o.O Boring much? How long can such a conversation last? 1:"wow, that was hot" 2: "yeah" ... Then there's the "do you really want to know what your best buddy's fetish is?" issue.

Third... there's probably little correlation between being sexually active and changing attitude towards "porn" (or rather, erotic material). Some people get more obsessed, some drop much of any interest.
That's a bit harsh ..

Porn certainly doesn't need to be interesting, and it certainly doesn't need to be complemented by a good story component/characters. I highly doubt people watch porn for the stories ( even though the attempts are mostly miserable). In fact, even if the stories were good, I can completely imagine the majority of people being "Can we just get to the f*cking?" Not everything needs to be intelligent, in fact I feel a lot of pornography revels in its own crudeness. Is it repetitive? Objectively speaking, yes, it is pretty damn repetitive. Do people notice this? I believe so - thats why theres so much (perceivably) nasty stuff floating around these days. If it comes to innovation in porn, I doubt its coming from the story or the characters - and I doubt thats where people want to see the innovation either.

Talk about porn with my friends? Sure. Just considering how ludicrous most
porn is, the way its set up, and the way people act is enough for fueling conversation. Removing the erotic side ( it is possible..) porn can be quite humorous - the situations are just so ridiculous and everything that happens makes so little sense.. Once again, not everything needs to be intelligent or innovative.. conversations included. As far as actually talking about the erotic side, I agree there isn't much to talk about. On the other hand, it always irritates me how squeamish people get talking about their sex lives or habits. Sure, we don't all want to hear about it, but its hardly taboo either.

I do agree that there probably isn't a very strong co-relation with being sexually active and watching porn. Not to say that there isn't a connection. At any rate, events in peoples lives, their upbringings, and their individual preferences all contribute to making even a calculated generalization meaningless for this question. I guess people will only really find out after they've had sex?
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Old 2010-05-27, 13:19   Link #3766
Vexx
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Yeah... it was a bit harsh, life can be that way

I'm not declaring everything *needs* to be intelligent... but really, if you have a bucket of clues, how many times can you watch the same thing without starting to demand some complexity or layering to keep it interesting? Watching characters make love that you care about seems a lot more erotic than "watching cows go at it in the field".

Yeah, I forgot about the "hilarity" component (Flesh Gordon (1974) was one of my long time favorite porn films because it was just overtly silly, its rather tame by modern standards though).

And not so much squeamish as much as TMI ... I really don't *care* to hear how "buddy 1138" gets off on high-heeled shoes, plus... its ultimately boring in the same way as listening to people gab about cosmetics makes one want to jab nails in their heads.

Besides, the question was answered... there's probably very little relationship between being sexually active and porn interest. Its more likely that 'growing up' reduces that as a topic of insane constant interest.
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Old 2010-05-28, 00:40   Link #3767
Last Sinner
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Porn is all about simulation rather than genuine. Orgasms are faked for the main part, as is pleasure. It isn't intimate or affectionate. It's about physical, visual and aural stimulation. And there will always be a silly premise for the flocking to begin. But the industry is upfront about it. You know what you're getting. It's gratutitous, not deep.

However, I know some married couples that enjoy watching it sometimes as a prelude to doing the deed themselves. Both genders get horny and want to get off sometimes. Being a bit spicy can be very healthy to a relationship. Just keep it in context and keep in mind that what one person likes doesn't necessarily rock the boat for the other person. Meet each other's fantasies within reason and it could enhance a relationship/the sex.

It all comes down to personal tastes and what sends one Over 9000 in the downstairs department. Each to their own as long as it's legal and doesn't hurt anyone.
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Old 2010-05-28, 09:16   Link #3768
Frailty
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can anyone tell me the Romaji of

"This is Reality"

please :3
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Old 2010-05-28, 12:21   Link #3769
oompa loompa
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: 28 37', North ; 77 13', East
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frailty View Post
can anyone tell me the Romaji of

"This is Reality"

please :3
err.. 'kore wa genjitsu desu'? i suppose.. theres a thread for this too though, maybe you should ask there for better results
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Old 2010-05-29, 09:57   Link #3770
Zeyroth
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Join Date: May 2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by oompa loompa View Post
err.. 'kore wa genjitsu desu'? i suppose.. theres a thread for this too though, maybe you should ask there for better results
That was exactly the first thing i thought of when i saw that question! xD

Oh and, here's a question of mine:
What's the difference between soft porn and hard porn? ><.
And why is it grouped as 'soft' and 'hard' in the first place? I mean, why 'soft' and why 'hard'? LOL. I'm sorry.
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Old 2010-05-29, 17:55   Link #3771
-KarumA-
(。☉౪ ⊙。)
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In Maya world, where all is 3D and everything crashes
Age: 26
In general, softcore refers to pornography that does not depict penetration (usually genitals are not shown right on camera), and hardcore refers to pornography that depicts penetration explicitly.
So soft: doesn't have a full frontal banging, hard does. You can think of it more like making out in movies.
Though I always thought soft was like normal but civilized porn and hard what you usually find online but on the level of people taking a dump on their chests, but I guess that would be labeled as extreme or something

from wiki under the word pornography, there's also a hard porn page on it but it has 18+ pictures so I am not going to link it here
This from the subgenre page
* Softcore pornography generally depicts naked or partially clothed women and/or men in sexually suggestive situations but excludes explicit sexual activity and sexual penetration.
* Hardcore pornography depicts graphic sexual acts. Most of the genres in this list are of hardcore pornography.

lol
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Old 2010-05-29, 19:16   Link #3772
SaintessHeart
Ehh? EEEEHHHHHH?
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
I had this whole set of revelations recently that pretty much propelled me into thinking what I want for the future. One of which is two of my friends, whom I have known for years, started going all out against me, branding me as a liar (apparently they don't understand the things I say, like finance and economics), etc.

Apparently they still think I have this compulsive lying habit back when I was very much younger in my preteens (small thanks to the school bullies and selfish teachers!), and it kind of annoys me when they downplay everything I say in front of everyone I meet, so positively I had a very bad image around them. These two idiots, which I brand as the tsukkomi and boke due to their physical sizes, are nothing more than socialites trying putting forward what little they know, like "concepts of the real world is about survivalism" and calling me stuff like unrealistic, etc.

I just realised 10 minutes ago that they are examples of fear and greed. The tsukkomi is always backstabbing and denying whatever he knows to put me forward as the bad guy, but he's doing it as a matter of self-preservation because he doesn't have alot of friends other than the boke, who's always trying to control his friends, make money, and use information bias and office politics style of people-mongering for his personal advantage.

So......do I dump them as friends? Or do I stay around and try to leech every single opportunity out of them as payback? I finally realised that knowledge IS power...as long as you keep them updated, and I had plenty of backlogged knowledge to be updated, so going down by the Pascal's Triangle with plenty of hard work, I can be really close to being a walking encyclopedia.

To the extent that I don't need friends like them to rely on for job opportunities anymore.
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Old 2010-05-29, 21:59   Link #3773
Ledgem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbitres View Post
My honest opinion? A lot of people are nothing but dead weight. Dropping them is good for you all the while showing them you aren't in need of depending, unlike them. It's a two-way blow for you - they don't get a say in the matter... do they?
My opinion is that people like to pretend that everyone is the same and/or conforms to their expectations, resulting in the perception that there's a lot of dead weight around. Everyone is different in their own ways, with unique needs and unique abilities. That applies more to management of workers than friends, but the key lesson is the same: recognize people for their good and strengths, and when including them in your life try to do it such that the strengths are played to rather than the weaknesses. (And don't dwell on the weaknesses.)

For StaintlessHeart, if you're only feeling negative things about your friends then you might be better off slowly severing ties with them and finding new friends. However, you might also want to consider why you're feeling like they're both against you. Are they really against you, or are you being overly sensitive to some things they may have said? That's not for you to answer here, because even if you gave a long story we'd only be hearing your side of it and wouldn't be able to tell you whether your friends were really mistreating you. Just think about it.
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Old 2010-05-30, 08:41   Link #3774
SaintessHeart
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Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
For StaintlessHeart, if you're only feeling negative things about your friends then you might be better off slowly severing ties with them and finding new friends. However, you might also want to consider why you're feeling like they're both against you. Are they really against you, or are you being overly sensitive to some things they may have said? That's not for you to answer here, because even if you gave a long story we'd only be hearing your side of it and wouldn't be able to tell you whether your friends were really mistreating you. Just think about it.
Both of them are guys, and since I look like an idiot IRL (either that or a girl because of my facial features), they want to take advantage of my easy-going attitude and my lack of EQ.

It is no doubt they are ill-treating me, constantly telling me to do things like "follow the damn crowd" when it isn't my field to do so (I seriously cannot follow instructions to the word...dyslexia anyone?). Their level of idiocy is on par of that of most of my local youths : aimless, mindless, over-educated and monetarily motivated - a recipe for disaster of the next generation.

I had enough, but their level of being judging is often unsubstantiated with facts and they somehow have a compulsive information bias ; anything too complex to understand (Giffen & Veblen goods, Scientific Method or even SCIENCE for that matter) they would dismiss as bullcrap.

What I was thinking of is ditching "social life" altogether and become a hikkikomori day trader and freelance writer - being "social" is one major thing I suck at.

And 15 years down the road, I haven't even made a single improvement despite all the advice I have taken and practiced.

P.S My nick is not a typo - it IS Saintessheart.
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When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2010-05-30, 08:58   Link #3775
MeoTwister5
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where I can learn to be lonely.
Age: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Both of them are guys, and since I look like an idiot IRL (either that or a girl because of my facial features), they want to take advantage of my easy-going attitude and my lack of EQ.

It is no doubt they are ill-treating me, constantly telling me to do things like "follow the damn crowd" when it isn't my field to do so (I seriously cannot follow instructions to the word...dyslexia anyone?). Their level of idiocy is on par of that of most of my local youths : aimless, mindless, over-educated and monetarily motivated - a recipe for disaster of the next generation.

I had enough, but their level of being judging is often unsubstantiated with facts and they somehow have a compulsive information bias ; anything too complex to understand (Giffen & Veblen goods, Scientific Method or even SCIENCE for that matter) they would dismiss as bullcrap.

What I was thinking of is ditching "social life" altogether and become a hikkikomori day trader and freelance writer - being "social" is one major thing I suck at.

And 15 years down the road, I haven't even made a single improvement despite all the advice I have taken and practiced.

P.S My nick is not a typo - it IS Saintessheart.
Well one the problems is that you let yourself get used by them and tolerated it for years. Take it from someone who's been in the same shoes: People who use others for their own personal gain are some of the hardest people to change, and the fact that they've been at it for more than a decade tells me they aren't going to change any time soon. I could admonish you for not realizing sooner but the fact of the matter is, for a lot of people in the same situation often refuse to leave the company of fake friends just for the sake of not feeling alone even if it means their friends drag them down into the pits, so I won't. It's at least good you've realized it now, and you have a chance to get rid of said dead weights before they start messing with your professional career.

As for your claims of having horrible EQ that you've mentioned a few times on this board... well to be blunt, one of the reasons some people have horrible EQs is because they have horrible friends. Having horrible friends in abusive and rather one-sided relationships skews the way people are able to relate to acquaintances and strangers alike because of the influences of these friends who are... well socially maladjusted. It's a long chain really of creating more socially inept people along the line because once these people come out to relate with people in proper social norms, that's when they realize they've been fucked up bad. These people can't relate in the normal proper society because of experiences that alters the way they act and react to normal people, courtesy of social deviant "friends."

So yeah, in a way you could blame your "friends" for helping fuck up your EQ.

In reality though EQ can be adjusted back into the right direction, just as long you are able to find people willing to understand you and your situation. If you think you need help well there's always therapy, and you can take that from me as someone who's himself seeing a shrink.
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Old 2010-05-30, 09:29   Link #3776
SaintessHeart
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeoTwister5 View Post
Well one the problems is that you let yourself get used by them and tolerated it for years. Take it from someone who's been in the same shoes: People who use others for their own personal gain are some of the hardest people to change, and the fact that they've been at it for more than a decade tells me they aren't going to change any time soon. I could admonish you for not realizing sooner but the fact of the matter is, for a lot of people in the same situation often refuse to leave the company of fake friends just for the sake of not feeling alone even if it means their friends drag them down into the pits, so I won't. It's at least good you've realized it now, and you have a chance to get rid of said dead weights before they start messing with your professional career.

As for your claims of having horrible EQ that you've mentioned a few times on this board... well to be blunt, one of the reasons some people have horrible EQs is because they have horrible friends. Having horrible friends in abusive and rather one-sided relationships skews the way people are able to relate to acquaintances and strangers alike because of the influences of these friends who are... well socially maladjusted. It's a long chain really of creating more socially inept people along the line because once these people come out to relate with people in proper social norms, that's when they realize they've been fucked up bad. These people can't relate in the normal proper society because of experiences that alters the way they act and react to normal people, courtesy of social deviant "friends."

So yeah, in a way you could blame your "friends" for helping fuck up your EQ.

In reality though EQ can be adjusted back into the right direction, just as long you are able to find people willing to understand you and your situation. If you think you need help well there's always therapy, and you can take that from me as someone who's himself seeing a shrink.
I had seen 3 shrinks in my life : 2 of them are screwed up, the only good one died 5 years ago.

And the first 2 gave me the same advice to "follow the crowd" and their counselling are nothing more than brainwashing sessions. The last one is great though, he's 70+ and gave me one interesting advice :

You still have your head. Use it. No matter what kind of academia you take, or what advice you receive - pass it through that thing because whatever facts spoonfed to you are worthless and useless as you don't even understand how it works. So how can you use something you don't understand?

and a very interesting friend I had in the past which I rarely contact nowadays gave me another critical advice :

You know what? F*** your 'they'. F*** them all. If everyone else is a bitch or bastard, does it mean you have to be one? Adaptation to society is a two way thing idiot, it's either 'to' or 'against', and both of them makes you stronger, the only difference being something called the 'Goddamned f***ing free will'. If you choose to give that up in favour, you seriously are f***ed up because there isn't any point of living anymore if you are emotionally and rationally enslaved!

Kinda mentally draining to adapt "against", but I guess that is a consequence of thinking differently. If I adapt "to", I am going to be at the bottom of the food chain because of my total lack of social skills. I may be stupid, but probably a little less than those who don't use their head at all, so capitalising on what little intelligence I have may be a better investment than trying to build my social skills again from scratch.

I pretty much figured out what I want to do in life, though these two guys are probably the only ones I have left that are tied to my past as a screwed up individual. Only recently I used them to push myself to work towards financial freedom before 30, but I pretty much got the momentum already. So do I dump them, or keep them as backup plan to fall back on in case I fail?
__________________

When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
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Old 2010-05-30, 11:21   Link #3777
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Both of them are guys, and since I look like an idiot IRL (either that or a girl because of my facial features), they want to take advantage of my easy-going attitude and my lack of EQ.

It is no doubt they are ill-treating me, constantly telling me to do things like "follow the damn crowd" when it isn't my field to do so (I seriously cannot follow instructions to the word...dyslexia anyone?). Their level of idiocy is on par of that of most of my local youths : aimless, mindless, over-educated and monetarily motivated - a recipe for disaster of the next generation.
My blunt and honest opinion is that it sounds like there's issues on both sides - yours and theirs. Based on what you've written you have a low opinion of yourself, yet at the same time you feel a sort of intellectual superiority over others. You also seem to have a fascination with being different and straying from the crowd, and you're turning it into a point of conflict.

I could be wrong, but I'm not saying these observations as an absolute truth - these are all things for you to think about when performing self-introspection.

My advice would be, again, to try and accept others as they are. It's quite possible that your friends are abusive and that you'd be better off without them. Given what you've written I wonder whether you'd be able to form strong friendships with others that could remain healthy for an extended period of time, though. You need to find a balance between yourself and your beliefs, and relating to others. I think you'd also do well to recognize that you can fit into society and "go with the crowd" without losing your individual traits. You don't need to make your differences a point of contention each and every time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
What I was thinking of is ditching "social life" altogether and become a hikkikomori day trader and freelance writer - being "social" is one major thing I suck at.

And 15 years down the road, I haven't even made a single improvement despite all the advice I have taken and practiced.
That's a lifestyle choice for you to make. Personal change is a slow and very difficult process, perhaps even more so when you have a number of pressing issues in your life to deal with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
P.S My nick is not a typo - it IS Saintessheart.
It wasn't a matter of regarding it as a typo or not. Studies indicate that people generally read the first and last letters of a word and fill the rest in themselves, and that was clearly what I did when reading your alias. I'll try to remember it for next time.


Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Kinda mentally draining to adapt "against", but I guess that is a consequence of thinking differently. If I adapt "to", I am going to be at the bottom of the food chain because of my total lack of social skills. I may be stupid, but probably a little less than those who don't use their head at all, so capitalising on what little intelligence I have may be a better investment than trying to build my social skills again from scratch.
I'm not sure why you're describing some sort of competition, and why you're making it a black and white issue of intelligence vs. social skills. Aside from the fact that you're putting yourself down ("I may be stupid") and putting others down at the same time ("...those who don't use their head at all" which, based on your earlier post, seems to be a fair number of people, largely including "the youth"), you're not recognizing the fact that there are many types of intelligence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
I pretty much figured out what I want to do in life, though these two guys are probably the only ones I have left that are tied to my past as a screwed up individual. Only recently I used them to push myself to work towards financial freedom before 30, but I pretty much got the momentum already. So do I dump them, or keep them as backup plan to fall back on in case I fail?
It's your personal life. Your friends are not tools, but rather a support system. If you're unhappy with having them in your life, cut them out and perhaps try to find new friends.
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Old 2010-05-30, 12:07   Link #3778
SaintessHeart
Ehh? EEEEHHHHHH?
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
My blunt and honest opinion is that it sounds like there's issues on both sides - yours and theirs. Based on what you've written you have a low opinion of yourself, yet at the same time you feel a sort of intellectual superiority over others. You also seem to have a fascination with being different and straying from the crowd, and you're turning it into a point of conflict.

I could be wrong, but I'm not saying these observations as an absolute truth - these are all things for you to think about when performing self-introspection.

My advice would be, again, to try and accept others as they are. It's quite possible that your friends are abusive and that you'd be better off without them. Given what you've written I wonder whether you'd be able to form strong friendships with others that could remain healthy for an extended period of time, though. You need to find a balance between yourself and your beliefs, and relating to others. I think you'd also do well to recognize that you can fit into society and "go with the crowd" without losing your individual traits. You don't need to make your differences a point of contention each and every time.
Well that part sounds rather confusing for most people : only a few whom I have told that to understood it. It is more of a description that I am one who stands in the middle - I have and know my flaws and strengths, but I am just simply annoyed by the fact that people often judge others based on a blackwhite spectrum, and considers it to be justice.

Yeah, kinda hard to rephrase that and explain everything. Being good at salvaging and workaround problems, both human and practical, does it attribute more to social, emotional or mental intelligence? If it is an indicator of mental (under problem solving skills - lateral, literal and critical thinking), then why wasn't I able to use that mental intelligence to do well in exams instead of flunking university entrance?

Quote:
It wasn't a matter of regarding it as a typo or not. Studies indicate that people generally read the first and last letters of a word and fill the rest in themselves, and that was clearly what I did when reading your alias. I'll try to remember it for next time.
No worries. It's a small matter, thus the small postscript.

Quote:
I'm not sure why you're describing some sort of competition, and why you're making it a black and white issue of intelligence vs. social skills. Aside from the fact that you're putting yourself down ("I may be stupid") and putting others down at the same time ("...those who don't use their head at all" which, based on your earlier post, seems to be a fair number of people, largely including "the youth"), you're not recognizing the fact that there are many types of intelligence.
Pertinently speaking, it is more of a attempt at being politically, technically and factually correct when using that concept.

It is more of inclining towards a social norm of what people call "reality". That word has become a bloody cliche that it has been used to "forcibly indoctrinate" others into giving up their dreams.

"Reality" doesn't cover social norms, that is "generally accepted methodology of fitting into the crowd" if they want political correctness. "Reality" means the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or may be thought to be. Legally speaking, whatever I did doesn't even fall under uncommon law!

As much as the word has a wide definition, the lack of scope when incorporated into speech is bloody ridiculous, and it really pisses me off when people try to use that to enforce half-baked ideas on me.

Pardon me for being a "keplermaniac"* when it comes to defining the word "reality", but I seriously annoyed that how it has been used kill dreams and ideas that would have worked out with a little more pragmatism into the thoughts and methodologies.

* - Johannes Kepler, a physicist who supported and attempted to scientifically prove heliocentricism, calculated without electronic tools to accurate and rather precise decimal places (at that time) for his maths used.


Quote:
It's your personal life. Your friends are not tools, but rather a support system. If you're unhappy with having them in your life, cut them out and perhaps try to find new friends.
Personally, I find it hard to make friends because barely anyone shares the wide range of interests as me, especially odd stuff like anime/manga combined with science, philosophy. When discussing gossip, I can just see a person from another perspective easily and come up with some funny perspective for the motives and actions. And the biggest problem is the next part : when they ask "why?".

How the heck am I going to condense an entire list of over 100 possible psychological and logical ideas I generated in less than 10 seconds into a short and simple explanation without others getting lost, or getting confused from a single explanation? Sure it sounds interesting, but I hate it when they ask why - so far, only a small number of people have managed to comprehend whatever I said.

Logic work both ways, depending on what kind is applied. When trying to explain something branching out in both directions but suddenly joins back up again, I can't possibly cop out with a "because it is like that" right?
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Old 2010-05-30, 12:43   Link #3779
Ledgem
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Well that part sounds rather confusing for most people : only a few whom I have told that to understood it. It is more of a description that I am one who stands in the middle - I have and know my flaws and strengths, but I am just simply annoyed by the fact that people often judge others based on a blackwhite spectrum, and considers it to be justice.
We can't know all of our flaws and weaknesses. If you've done introspection before (and having been through psychotherapy, you probably have) you're likely well aware of that, but I figured I'd mention it anyway.

It's true that others make quick, value-based judgments on others. Aren't you guilty of doing the same here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Yeah, kinda hard to rephrase that and explain everything. Being good at salvaging and workaround problems, both human and practical, does it attribute more to social, emotional or mental intelligence? If it is an indicator of mental (under problem solving skills - lateral, literal and critical thinking), then why wasn't I able to use that mental intelligence to do well in exams instead of flunking university entrance?
For the same reasons why a brilliant geneticist (specialized biologist) might be completely lost or just average in another science, or even another area of biology. We like to talk of intelligence as being a blanket trait, and under some settings it may appear that way. Yet we're all different, all stimulated by different things, all thinking in slightly different ways, and all held back by our own unique problems. Why should one form of intelligence indicate that you'll be able to shine as a genius in all areas?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
As much as the word has a wide definition, the lack of scope when incorporated into speech is bloody ridiculous, and it really pisses me off when people try to use that to enforce half-baked ideas on me.
I'd like to point out that you seem to have a recurring theme of feeling that others are trying to brainwash you or change you in a manner that makes you conform to society, and it seems to bother you quite a bit.

In my experience, people don't invoke "reality" to try and force you to change. There's nothing wrong with dreaming big, but the reminder of reality is there to keep you grounded and... well, realistic. It isn't a matter of forcing you to abandon your dreams, but a reminder of how difficult (and perhaps improbable) it might be for your dreams to come true. People should still work toward their dreams, but you don't want to see people having unrealistically high expectations and believing in them so much that they'll feel crushed and as if they're a failure if and when they realize that their dream is not 100% attainable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Personally, I find it hard to make friends because barely anyone shares the wide range of interests as me, especially odd stuff like anime/manga combined with science, philosophy. When discussing gossip, I can just see a person from another perspective easily and come up with some funny perspective for the motives and actions. And the biggest problem is the next part : when they ask "why?".

How the heck am I going to condense an entire list of over 100 possible psychological and logical ideas I generated in less than 10 seconds into a short and simple explanation without others getting lost, or getting confused from a single explanation? Sure it sounds interesting, but I hate it when they ask why - so far, only a small number of people have managed to comprehend whatever I said.

Logic work both ways, depending on what kind is applied. When trying to explain something branching out in both directions but suddenly joins back up again, I can't possibly cop out with a "because it is like that" right?
I think what you're describing is a case of you being less brilliant than you make yourself out to be, yet also being smarter than you give yourself credit for. You're not presenting research here, you're describing a case of a normal conversation. You may have some work to do in terms of relating to people and being better at communicating your thoughts. Also, give people a little more credit - they aren't the idiots you seem to be making them out to be.

In terms of making friends, it's very unlikely that anyone will share all of your interests. Having all hobbies and interests shared is not a requirement for friendship. We bond with people over a shared interest and/or value, and go from there. More that is shared in common can strengthen a bond, but not always. At the same time, you are exposed to new things through your friends, which may lead to new interests on your end.

Of course, people change over time, as do their interests and values. If interests and values change enough, it's possible for people to grow apart. There's nothing wrong with that.
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Old 2010-05-30, 15:41   Link #3780
-KarumA-
(。☉౪ ⊙。)
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In Maya world, where all is 3D and everything crashes
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post

Personally, I find it hard to make friends because barely anyone shares the wide range of interests as me, especially odd stuff like anime/manga combined with science, philosophy. When discussing gossip, I can just see a person from another perspective easily and come up with some funny perspective for the motives and actions. And the biggest problem is the next part : when they ask "why?".

How the heck am I going to condense an entire list of over 100 possible psychological and logical ideas I generated in less than 10 seconds into a short and simple explanation without others getting lost, or getting confused from a single explanation? Sure it sounds interesting, but I hate it when they ask why - so far, only a small number of people have managed to comprehend whatever I said.

Logic work both ways, depending on what kind is applied. When trying to explain something branching out in both directions but suddenly joins back up again, I can't possibly cop out with a "because it is like that" right?
I do hope though you do not use Japanese slings in normal conversations because even I would avoid you there, nothing personal though. Being friends with people does not have to mean you need to share every hobby and interest, all my friends do not watch anime or anything like that but we share other hobbies which I can talk to them about because some of my interest are not a big life overtaking part of who I am. Sometimes it is best to accept who and what other people do and think and based on similarities between them and you on those terms become friends. Dreams are great and all, but the most impossible dreams in this world can never become full reality the way people want it to be. Some people might be too blind to see it when others already can.
What does concern me is only hearing one side of the story, two friends are being mean to you but ever wonder why exactly? It is easy drawing a conclusion by yourself but as one of the involved it could be completely wrong, easy to do for another person as well but here we only see one side of the story told and not reality.

Last edited by -KarumA-; 2010-05-30 at 15:52.
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