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Old 2007-06-07, 09:23   Link #1
Defiled one
Priscilla`s inner voice
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iberian Peninsule...
Age: 25
Claymore Fanfiction Discussion

This thread is to be used for Claymore Fanfiction and its discussion. Fanfiction can be posted in this thread or in the Fan Creations Forum and linked to in this thread. Obviously posting in the Fan Creations Forum gives you more chances for your fic to be noticed. It also allows you to revise your work more easily since it has its own thread. You may also link to fanfiction posted on other sites and discuss them in this thread.

I think there should be some "common sense rules"

1- Only use knowledge of the current episode in order to avoid spoilers, that means no characters that haven´t appeared yet. If you are planning to use characters or knowledge that have not appeared then please obscure your story with a spoiler tag.

2- No XXX stories, I think some romance is good and I don´t mind if it deals with same gender relations but please... decency!!

3- The best fanfic has characters who stay in character. Also, please remember the limitations of humans when it comes to fighting Youma or Claymores.

4a- Original characters are best in support positions. If they can outfight or outperform the existing characters then it is often annoying.

4b- Remember that and original character being "lovey-dovey" with any of the existing crew, leads to "Gary Stues" and "Mary Sues" and we all know how annoying those are! Please strive to write good fanfics!


And now my fanfic...



Small droplets of watery dew glistened away from the warrior silvery armor as it marched away.
Like a ghost coming from the clouded mist of the forest, the young woman was expressionless when she sighted the first humans.
“It´s a claymore…”Murmured one of the youths that observed her from afar.
“She looks so pretty…” Added another one as villagers gathered around.
The tall warrior just continued to walk, not caring for the murmur until she entered a tavern and silence, was made.
The villagers just stopped eating; some even spilled their drinks as the silver eyed witch glared her surroundings before taking a seat, near a window.
“HEY! Nobody serves here?!” She added with sarcasm, sighing from boredom while quickly drawing the attention needed to be served. After all, Claymores pay very well.
Helen continuous rambling over food was an obsession and when she ate, she really ate.
“Delicious steak…” She mumbled while inhaling the sweat aroma of a well cooked meal for the first time in months of food celibacy.
But a girl, that couldn´t be older than 15 winters stood there, sadly observing her from the outside window. Even when the rain poured, the girl continuous and sorrowful stare did not budge away.
And Helen`s curiosity also reached it´s peek when she observed the thin figure being driven away by the tavern owner, pushing and kicking and hitting as the girl fell in to the soaked ground until….
“Take it…” The Claymore added, throwing a small sack of gold in to the man`s feet.
“For the two of us of course” The Claymore perky grin was threatening while kneeling down in front of the girl, picking her before entering the tavern and force her, to sit down and eat, Helen´s untouched food.
“Eat up girl, it isn´t poisoned you know” She added with a smile, rolling her eyes upon seeing the villagers disgust and departure.
The girl ate and ate until she was full and Helen quickly picked the silent girl by the hand.

“Do you have anyone?” The Claymore asked until she saw, the lowering of the girl head.

The evening was already finished and the girl continuous coughs and trembles made it clear, she had no one. Helen however, just picked her by the hand, fuming while ordering a maid to bring some clothes and warm some water.
“Let´s get you warm…” Helen´s melted voice captured the brown and moistened eyes of the girl that smiled with such happiness and adoration to Helen. It looked like she had never met anyone that cared for her. Helen was like an angel to her.
“Than...k you…” She mumbled in a dry voice, eagerly glancing to the reactive claymore upon seeing the new clothes and the warm thought of water.
Helen wasn’t thinking of sleeping in there, but the girl…those eyes…Helen was moody again as Deneve criticized. But Deneve wasn’t here in the first place.
While inside the room, Helen positioned her sword in to the ground before seeing the girl again. Now completely cleaned and warmed while bearing a small smile, she tried to kneel down to the woman.

“Sleep in the bed…” Helen murmured while crouching in the ground before the girl…began to behave in a tearful way.
Not from the sadness itself but from having a warm meal and a bed to sleep. Those moistened brown eyes were still crying before the girl, almost in an apologetic way, talked again.

“I promise…That, I won´t bother you…anymore…” She added sadly, thanking over and over the claymore before coughing again.

“Just keep yourself warm okay?” Helen however, took seriously the girl words and when she lied down, Helen stood besides her.
“Why didn´t you tell me?” She asked while brushing the girl`s hair.
“I wanted…I wanted to know that, at least someone was nice to me. Even if they were faking….”

“I already knew…” Helen voice was very slow and serene, almost like it was trying to avoid hurting her…”That you were sick, by the way you breathed….” Helen smile, even if forced, had genuine intentions.
As the girl trembles increased and sleep was taking her over she asked “Will it hurt…? Will it hurt?” The girl asked over and over, hoping to receive an answer while Helen stroked her hair.
“It won´t hurt…I promise, it will be good. There`s food and beds and friends…” She tried her best to avoid hurting the girl while seeing her smile. Never fading those moistened eyes to her that knew, very well, she was lying.
“I know….” She whispered while inhaling quietly…”That you are a nice person, I always knew you were good persons…” She cried silently.

“My name is Helen…” She murmured to the girl, hoping to make her divert her attention away to the pain…
And the night carried slowly as Helen, stood by her side.

When morning came, it could illuminate the whiteness of the single sheet that covered a fragile body. She didn`t survived the night.
“I never asked your name….” Helen whispered, calmly reflecting her thoughts near the window.
”I´m so clumsily…” She concluded while covering her eyes, turning to the window once again before glancing, to the morning sun and to some children playing below.
“It´s still a beautiful day…” She added as water droplets fell, in to the wooden floor of the room.


The End.


It happens before the awakened hunt when Helen first comes to the town. hence explaining why Helen speaks of Raki so much.

Last edited by NoSanninWa; 2007-06-07 at 15:54.
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Old 2007-06-07, 10:35   Link #2
Tempest35
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Bravo~! Really nice one even though it was melacholy (but hey, that's the kind of world they live in). And Helen has such a sweet side to her, we just haven't really seen it yet.

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Old 2007-06-07, 12:24   Link #3
Negativedark
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Nice. Considering the settin for Claymore, Yoma really aren't the only thing that can kill you.
I may try my hand at one a little later. It'll be what Teresa was thinking in the inn between the time Claire fell asleep, and when the other Claymores arived.

Hey, a Mary Sue in a Claymore fanfiction, could in fact be named Mary Sue, due to the naming conventions for Claymores!
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Old 2007-06-07, 12:43   Link #4
Kinematics
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Join Date: Sep 2006
The editor in me desperately wants to fix the writing, but this isn't the FFML. Still, quite a nice little story.
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Old 2007-06-07, 12:53   Link #5
Defiled one
Priscilla`s inner voice
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iberian Peninsule...
Age: 25
It was the fastest thing I ever did in such small period of time. What did you expect? A Tolkien saga ?
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Old 2007-06-07, 12:59   Link #6
HinaThePrince
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Sweet story. Helen is love. I disagree with one rule, though - I think posting fics that include characters that haven't been introduced in the anime yet should be fine, as long as the story will be posted under a spoiler tag.
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Old 2007-06-07, 13:06   Link #7
Defiled one
Priscilla`s inner voice
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iberian Peninsule...
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by HinaThePrince View Post
Sweet story. Helen is love. I disagree with one rule, though - I think posting fics that include characters that haven't been introduced in the anime yet should be fine, as long as the story will be posted under a spoiler tag.
Might as well work I shall edit it.
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Old 2007-06-07, 15:27   Link #8
SimplyEd
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Age: 35
Nice one, Defiled one^^ Keep on truckin'
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Old 2007-06-08, 19:57   Link #9
Mandrake
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Join Date: May 2004
All these hot days gave me quite an opportunity to lay down in the garden and relax, daydream scenarios. I'm considering making a spin off chapter for claymore, new characters...but from the older generations

Hmm, maybe the heat got to me.
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Old 2007-06-08, 20:55   Link #10
Negativedark
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I know what you mean. I came up for an idea to tell one from the Yoma's point of view.
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Old 2007-06-08, 23:07   Link #11
Tempest35
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...just for that, I think I'll do one for Priscilla. Everyone's fave Miss Justice Claymore-turned-Awakened deserves one. Well, 2nd Fave. 1st one is....*shhhh*

And Raki needs one to. We need to make him cooler...somehow.

We can get to all the yuri goodness later...plenty of time for that.
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Old 2007-06-09, 05:09   Link #12
Defiled one
Priscilla`s inner voice
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iberian Peninsule...
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempest35 View Post
...just for that, I think I'll do one for Priscilla. Everyone's fave Miss Justice Claymore-turned-Awakened deserves one. Well, 2nd Fave. 1st one is....*shhhh*

And Raki needs one to. We need to make him cooler...somehow.

We can get to all the yuri goodness later...plenty of time for that.
Turn him in to a woman because that is the only way That dude has no salvation.
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Old 2007-06-09, 10:17   Link #13
Tempest35
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...Or the Claymore Pimp.
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Old 2007-06-09, 10:26   Link #14
Defiled one
Priscilla`s inner voice
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iberian Peninsule...
Age: 25
Only in parodies only in parodies. Cause in there even a chicken can pimp him.

I´m thinking of writing one, but I don´t have the guts to actualy put it down.

Last edited by Defiled one; 2007-06-11 at 09:49.
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Old 2007-06-11, 21:00   Link #15
Negativedark
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Well here's my promesed Teresa one. Nothing too spectacular. Just stream of conscusness for Theresa after Claire falls asleep in the inn.


“Teresa can I sleep with you? Can I?”
“But there are two beds? Why squeeze into one? Hey…”
Heh. She said she didn’t need a bed but she fell asleep the moment she lay down on one. Must have been rough sleeping on the ground. Sleep well. We’ll rest here a while. I need to decide what to do next. If it was just me I’d probably find some secluded place in the mountains. All of us know places like that, you find them when you travel all over the land. Somewhere only you know about. But you shouldn’t live in seclusion with just me Claire. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind it, but you deserve better. You deserve everything. there are some things I can do for you. I think no matter where we end up you need to learn to read and write, and to do math.
Heh. I sound like a mother. But maybe this is what it’s like to be one. Even though you are not of my flesh, and my blood does not flow through your veins, I would call you my daughter. We haven’t known each other long, and only became united because of our mutual pain. Despite this there is nothing more important to me than you. I don’t mind that I’m on the run from the organization, or that you depend so much on me. I don’t even mind that your drooling on my leg right now. For you I would do anything. For you I must live.
I saw it in your eyes. You probably haven’t even realized you want it yet have you, Claire. The one thing I will never permit you to do. A part of you is already thinking, “I want to be like Teresa.” Over my dead body. A life as one of us isn’t even really a life. More like purgatory. I’m sure that if I had submitted to execution those bastards would have dragged you off, and would be cutting you open right now. If they ever get a hold of you, and harm you in any way I’ll kill them all, and nothing will stop me from getting you back Claire.
Your shift your head on my lap and settle deeper into slumber. And it makes me wonder. It’s still so amazing. To make me cry. To make me truly smile. To change everything. Teresa, of the faint smile they call me. The number one warrior in the organization, the strongest. All of that was always so meaningless to me. Truthfully I hated myself. Their was no point. Kill the Yoma, people would still hate me because I was half Yoma, or because the organization would force them to pay more than they could afford. I even hated you when we first met. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Now I live for you Claire. I don’t want anything to ever happen to you again, and to ensure that, I must live.
Three Strange Yoma aura’s just entered town. I guess we won’t be able to rest after all.

Well there it is. Not sure that I was able to really capture Teresa's voice. I may write some more, as I have several idea's including one from the Yoma's point of view, Galatea in a situation reminicsent of her namesake, and a really short one that
Spoiler for for volume 8:
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Old 2007-06-12, 03:27   Link #16
SimplyEd
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That made me all teary again, Negativedark *sniff* Nice one!
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Old 2007-06-14, 10:07   Link #17
Yorae_paladin1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempest35 View Post
...just for that, I think I'll do one for Priscilla. Everyone's fave Miss Justice Claymore-turned-Awakened deserves one. Well, 2nd Fave. 1st one is....*shhhh*

And Raki needs one to. We need to make him cooler...somehow.

We can get to all the yuri goodness later...plenty of time for that.
its impossible to make Raki cool unless he becomes a claymore and we all know what happenes with male claymores
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Old 2007-06-14, 11:05   Link #18
Defiled one
Priscilla`s inner voice
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iberian Peninsule...
Age: 25
Gender bend him. The only way.
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Old 2007-06-14, 11:53   Link #19
Negativedark
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Well...
Spoiler for Actually it'll be in the next episode.:
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Old 2007-06-14, 19:23   Link #20
stormy001_M1A2
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Send a message via MSN to stormy001_M1A2
That shows him how much character he has in him.
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