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Old 2008-08-29, 21:44   Link #2021
Yosei
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I LOL'ed at your question, because it seems in every AU universe I write there is a Galatea x Cynthia pairing and they always end up getting found out. But the Cynthia of this boxing universe seems a lot less uptight than the Cynthia I wrote about last time.

Uuum. Raki x Clarice. Hm. Well, it's not going to be too bad on Raki's side (seeing as he's cheapened pretty much every relationship he's had with his horrible EQ), but on Clarice's side, I am hoping you will pursue her relationship with the Dragon hunk more, although as I said, I hope she will not forget about Raphaela too easily...


P.S. There is this wonderful game called Bladestorm which dramatizes the Hundred Years' War between England and France. Yup, they have elephants, Roman chariots, magic, explosives, Mongols, Samurai, and the most powerful sword in that game is a Japanese sword called Muramasa. -_- Basically what I am saying is that THIS CALLS FOR A WET, STEAMY, JEANNE D'ARC x GALATEA FANFIC.*

Oh, the possibilities between a Claymore nun and a girl of Orleans who claims to have divine inspiration...

*Smooths back clothes* But of course I will finish this fanfic first. Or if anyone wants to take this idea on board, PM me just so I know.

*And maybe a Raphaela x Edward, the Black Prince...
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Last edited by Yosei; 2008-08-29 at 21:53. Reason: OMG BRAINWAVE
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Old 2008-08-30, 02:47   Link #2022
Fenrir_valindri
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Glad you guys liked the chapter, don't forget to drop a review off though.
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Old 2008-08-30, 08:50   Link #2023
hell88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosei View Post
I LOL'ed at your question, because it seems in every AU universe I write there is a Galatea x Cynthia pairing and they always end up getting found out. But the Cynthia of this boxing universe seems a lot less uptight than the Cynthia I wrote about last time.

Uuum. Raki x Clarice. Hm. Well, it's not going to be too bad on Raki's side (seeing as he's cheapened pretty much every relationship he's had with his horrible EQ), but on Clarice's side, I am hoping you will pursue her relationship with the Dragon hunk more, although as I said, I hope she will not forget about Raphaela too easily...


P.S. There is this wonderful game called Bladestorm which dramatizes the Hundred Years' War between England and France. Yup, they have elephants, Roman chariots, magic, explosives, Mongols, Samurai, and the most powerful sword in that game is a Japanese sword called Muramasa. -_- Basically what I am saying is that THIS CALLS FOR A WET, STEAMY, JEANNE D'ARC x GALATEA FANFIC.*

Oh, the possibilities between a Claymore nun and a girl of Orleans who claims to have divine inspiration...

*Smooths back clothes* But of course I will finish this fanfic first. Or if anyone wants to take this idea on board, PM me just so I know.

*And maybe a Raphaela x Edward, the Black Prince...
Cynthia does seem to want more, if you know what I mean? Something just came across my mind though, what happened to Tabitha and Yuma? Aren't they supposed to be in the Rabona boxing academy as well? They were supposed to join around the same time Clare did(like it said in they're bio's) but you haven't written anything about them at all, did you change your mind about having them?

LOL yeah well Raki and Clarice was just a thought back before I started this fic, I thought it would be fun, but then I thought about how I've already got Raki in enough trouble. I would have a harder time explaining everything if he ended up with Clarice as well. Don't worry Clarice won't forget about Raphaela, I won't say anything, because I don't want to give away any spoilers.

Hmmm a crossover between Claymore and Bladestorm, I don't know. I'll just say good luck with that one.
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Old 2008-08-30, 09:32   Link #2024
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hell88 View Post
Well I was actually thinking of Raki x Clarice too but that might be pushing it a little don't you think?
Hmmm...you're bent on pairing Raki up with every warrior in your fic? Anyway, like Yosei said, I kind of thought that Clarice was already 'reserved' by Raphaela.

Also, I just realised (after re-reading a bit of Renegade Warrior) that most of the people Raki gets paired up with either have a smutty one-night stand, or end up getting pissed off with him for doing the former

Not trying to press an idea, but maybe your pairings can be a little permanent? Its quite a tough thing to do because some writers favour certain pairings over others (like Yosei's Cynthia/ Galatea & to some extent my Miria/ Tabitha). But maybe you could think about letting poor Raki settle down with someone..
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Old 2008-08-30, 09:41   Link #2025
hell88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shelter View Post
Hmmm...you're bent on pairing Raki up with every warrior in your fic? Anyway, like Yosei said, I kind of thought that Clarice was already 'reserved' by Raphaela.

Also, I just realised (after re-reading a bit of Renegade Warrior) that most of the people Raki gets paired up with either have a smutty one-night stand, or end up getting pissed off with him for doing the former

Not trying to press an idea, but maybe your pairings can be a little permanent? Its quite a tough thing to do because some writers favour certain pairings over others (like Yosei's Cynthia/ Galatea & to some extent my Miria/ Tabitha). But maybe you could think about letting poor Raki settle down with someone..
Well lets see, Raphaela isn't really around anymore. That leaves Clarice as single, well for now anyway.

About Raki and his one-night stands, with so many women around like the ghosts that have been lonely for who knows how long, why wouldn't they hit on Raki a little bit, and he would get a night with some of them. Don't worry Raki will start having it easy soon enough.
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Old 2008-08-30, 10:19   Link #2026
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hell88 View Post
About Raki and his one-night stands, with so many women around like the ghosts that have been lonely for who knows how long, why wouldn't they hit on Raki a little bit, and he would get a night with some of them. Don't worry Raki will start having it easy soon enough.
Haha...well yes But somehow I've been reading about Raki harem fics & Raki one-night stands ever since I started reading Claymore fanfiction. Since most Claymore fans are roughly divided into Raki-haters & Raki-sympathizers, I was hoping someone, somebody, could do something less predictable. Raki getting hit on by every one of the ghosts seems a bit too expected...

Where are the Raki-supporters? NobodyMan, do you want to try writing one?
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Old 2008-08-30, 11:12   Link #2027
Yosei
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@ Hell: since it'll be a while before I can do a historical/fantasy fic, I'm looking for someone to CONTRACT a Hundred Years' War crossover involving Joan of Arc x Galatea! Maybe someone will take me up on that sometime. Dunno, we will see.

And about the profiles: If you read Cynthia's bio it says she was a former boxer from Sutafu Academy, but in the actual story she was a former prostitute who Galatea fell in love with and decided to train her in boxing so she wouldn't have to degrade herself to make a living. So the short answer is... well, Tabitha and Yuma's time isn't right yet, I realized that a while ago. So they will still come, but hopefully the discontinuities between some bios and the story doesn't disappoint too much.

@ shelter, would it matter if some writers favoured one pair over another? I mean, maybe Hell could still write of a stable relationship that grows and matures, even if it overlaps somewhat with someone else's.

Anyway, while we're discussing all these deep fanfic writing techniques, here is a new chapter:

Spoiler for space:



Hope the fight was decent, hope the chapter overall was exciting.
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Old 2008-08-30, 12:33   Link #2028
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@Yosei: Great chapter, the suspence, the action, it went together perfectly. Poor Deneve though, I liked her comeback, but now she is out of action. I really thought Galatea would have done more, but by the sounds of things she will. Oh well lets see what Helen can do with Miria. Should be a good fight.

Yes it was exciting.
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Old 2008-08-30, 12:43   Link #2029
KillerYomaFromSpace
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@Yosei: awesome chapter, I felt sorry for Deneve, can't wait for the next one, I'll be praying for Miria's victory
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Old 2008-08-30, 21:44   Link #2030
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Okay finished my next chapter, have to warn everyone though. I'm rating it "M" for mature, so be ready.

Spoiler for double edged chapter 5:
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Old 2008-08-31, 01:22   Link #2031
Yosei
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Yup, thanks for the warning Hell. Very bloody indeed and "dark" imagery. An interesting development now that Miria seems to have attached herself very tightly to Raki, and now Clare seems to have given up on Jean and turned lezzo (not that she didn't do it like that already though). Keeping these two couples together will make for a strong story with a sweet ending. Keep up the hard work!
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Old 2008-08-31, 08:54   Link #2032
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosei View Post
...would it matter if some writers favoured one pair over another? I mean, maybe Hell could still write of a stable relationship that grows and matures, even if it overlaps somewhat with someone else's.
@Yosei: On the contrary I think it's good that we all seem to promoting different pairings & different interpretations of similar ones. It makes sure all these fics that we're writing are not stuck to 1 common idea/ template.

Speaking of which, your Chapter 8 was quite good. Undine's secret technique, and the very bloody conclusion to Deneve's comeback made this chapter for me. At some point the switch between the fight & Galatea/ Clare/ Jean/ Helen cheering Deneve on or scolding the referee took the power from the fight. Also your portrayal of the 'crowd' is getting a bit repetitive: there's always a description of rowdy, immoral spectators in each chapter. Will it be possible to leave it out, or even change its character?

Interesting switch to Miria in the last bit. I'm waiting to see how it links to Chapter 9.
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Old 2008-08-31, 09:10   Link #2033
Yosei
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Fair enough, I think I'm feeling obliged to "put in" the crowd in every chapter, just so people know someone's watching them. I should stop being so anal about the details.
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Old 2008-08-31, 09:32   Link #2034
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosei View Post
Fair enough, I think I'm feeling obliged to "put in" the crowd in every chapter, just so people know someone's watching them. I should stop being so anal about the details.
Putting in the crowd was an expected thing in the opening chapters. But a bunch of spectators watching a boxing match need not always be "lowlifes", right?

Rhetorical question...No need to answer that

@Hell:
The image of Miria on the rack is a bit - disturbing. Somehow in Yosei's story when Cynthia was getting tortured it did not feel so bad...it was just pitiful. I think not a lot of us are accustomed to seeing a powerful character helpless.
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Old 2008-08-31, 09:48   Link #2035
hell88
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@Yosei: I don't think I will break up these two couples in my story, they just seem right for some reason. The others might get jealous though.

@shelter: Well thats why I put that warning there. Actually there was a lot more to that, which makes her seem very helpless, but I took that all out because it started to feel like I was going to far. So I tried to keep it as minimal as I could.
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Old 2008-08-31, 14:30   Link #2036
Tempest35
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I have mixed feelings about that particular chapter, none of the least have to do with Miria's plight. They very idea......BWHAAAAAAA~ *awakens*
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Old 2008-08-31, 14:41   Link #2037
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I guess I should have gave an extra warning for all the Miria worshippers. *runs away fast so Tempest35 won't eat his guts*
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Old 2008-08-31, 15:43   Link #2038
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hell88 View Post
I guess I should have gave an extra warning for all the Miria worshippers. *runs away fast so Tempest35 won't eat his guts*
Im gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life, I should stop ignoring all the warnings ><
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Old 2008-08-31, 18:56   Link #2039
hell88
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Originally Posted by KillerYomaFromSpace View Post
Im gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life, I should stop ignoring all the warnings ><
Now you know.
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Old 2008-08-31, 19:10   Link #2040
Yosei
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Whee, Chapter 9 up. Please bear in mind defeated boxers don't die or simply drop out (except for beaten novices like at the beginning of the story), they always return some way or another, although they have to work up the tournament rankings again.

Spoiler for space:



Enjoy.
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Last edited by Yosei; 2008-08-31 at 19:24.
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