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Old 2009-01-23, 13:05   Link #3181
Weird D
Just existing...
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dean_the_Young View Post
The next Claymore project to be, which is only in the planning stages now...

All the Difference: Behind every great man stands a woman. Which woman can make all the difference. Glimpses at Raki and what could have been if we ask ourselves two questions. What if it hadn't been Clare who walked through into that village that day? What if it had been... someone else? From Helen to Irene, Mirai to Ophelia, different women, different events, and different bonds.
Good one, I've been wondering about that too.
It goes both ways however : we saw how Clare and Teresa changed from having someone who treated them like humans, so you can wonder how Raki would have an impact on other Claymores.
Best potential IMO : Ophelia, Irene, Raphaela, Undine, Jean, Yuma
I dare you : Riful (and no, she can't eat him)

Anyway, I'm really waiting for it
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Old 2009-01-23, 20:48   Link #3182
MisterJB
Warden of the West
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
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here is the chapter 6

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4758867/..._War_and_Death

and chapter 7

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4758867/..._War_and_Death

this one has my first sex scene. At the beginning it might seem like a rape scene but it's not a rape scene. It's an unconventional relationship, please just read it until the end and take your own conclusions

Well, have fun. That's the most important
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Old 2009-01-23, 21:43   Link #3183
shelter
Every word must conjure
 
 
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Reviews all around for Hell & MisterJB.

But first: what is it with you guys & bondage? Can I read one chapter of a story where there isn't a scene where someone is chained to the wall?

1. Hell's After War (Chps 4-6)

Spoiler for Review:



2. MisterJB's Chps 6-7:

Spoiler for Review:
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Old 2009-01-24, 10:39   Link #3184
MisterJB
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shelter: Thanks for the review

I do sympathize with Isley, he is one of my two favourite male characters in Claymores. After all, it's not by chance that he is being paired with one of my two favorite female characters.
I hope that you don't see him as submissive , tough. More like one of the two commanders to organize the Continent's forces.
(Riful is probrably going to be demonized as she is the only Abyssal I don't like)

I also tought that Tabitha didn't feel exactly rigth but I couldn't put my finger on it.
If you see the penultime (I think) chapter of "Secrets" you see that Tabitha and Galatea felt Rabona to warn Clare, Cynthia, Yuma, Helen and Deneve about Darkhenus. It just happened that Rabona was besieged on the day after and 700 Yoma yoki don't go unnoticed I suposse.
If I'm not wrong, the Yoki of the ghosts is almost impossible to feel, Galatea couldn't during the fight with Agatha.

I have to admit that Helen x Thelmus was one of the 2 pairing that were planned since the first chapter of the first fic and in my own vision they ended with acceptance.
I think that the Clarice x Sid first lovemaking scene will be a little different, or at least I hope so
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Old 2009-01-25, 04:43   Link #3185
Yosei
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The IF character page has been updated with two new characters, although the first is the only one to have his full bio up. Three cheers to the upcoming game Strikeforce/Multi-Raid for helping me think of yet more ways to kill Awakened Beings creatively!
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Old 2009-01-25, 18:38   Link #3186
clarakiss~
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@ weird d - i bet cha ophelia and undine will just kick raki outta the way like teresa did to clare. ^^; biggest impact? i said galatea and miria before but i changed my mind and it's... rafaela.

Last edited by clarakiss~; 2009-01-26 at 09:29.
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Old 2009-01-26, 16:49   Link #3187
Weird D
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clarakiss~ View Post
@ weird d - i bet cha ophelia and undine will just kick raki outta the way like teresa did to clare. ^^; biggest impact? i said galatea and miria before but i changed my mind and it's... rafaela.
Yup, probably at first, but that's why it would be interesting to watch as they get closer, and as the Claymore rediscover their humanity. I made the list with Claymores who are either lonely, or have a serious problem.
Ophelia : plain and simple, she's a psycho, potentially worse than an AB. Sure, anyone tagging along would be a punching bag, and seeing who gives up first would be the point. That and she'd get a chance at redemption.
Irene and Raphaela : they are quite alike since both are mostly existing instead of living
Undine : she's a lot more vulnerable than she lets on as seen in Pieta. Having someone around whom she could be herself would help her
Jean : once again, someone who hardly has any regard for her own life, though due to her own loyal nature
Yuma : also an atypical Claymore. She considers herself weak, has little confidence and sees herself as dead weight. Raki would simply have faith in her despite whatever she thinks, and being responsible for another life would help Yuma get stronger.

Miria : I have some doubts, mainly because Miria is somewhat stuck in the role of the responsible leader, caring yet distant. Having her care for a human would probably decrease her credibility among other Claymores
Galatea : opposite problem, she's one of the more human Claymores. Therefore I can't see Raki having much of an effect on her. Same with Cynthia.

Mind you, these are just my opinions on what might happen. Things could go completely differently, and work better than I think.
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Old 2009-01-26, 17:07   Link #3188
MisterJB
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Wouldn't Ophelia simply kill him?

Please, Miria would be so interesting
Migth I sugest Flora?
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Old 2009-01-29, 09:50   Link #3189
Tevourious
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Hmmm I dunno were the proper place for this goes but I figured I'd pass it along. City Of Heroes is getting ready to add Mission Editors to let people customize missions and villans for the game. There is a new Super Group based on Claymore on the virtue Server for any intrested. Yay that is all.
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Old 2009-01-29, 19:01   Link #3190
MisterJB
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I said I was writing an oneshot but it turned out to be an small fic. It should be only 2 or 3 chapters long.
It's Miria x Rigardo and it's not an AU. As it happens with all my fic, it will have an tragic ending but It think that we all know what the tragic end will be

Enjoy


Spoiler for space:
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Last edited by MisterJB; 2009-01-30 at 16:20.
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Old 2009-01-29, 19:42   Link #3191
Yosei
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A very good start, MisterJB. For me, I would say that there is one word you definitely need to change and that is the word "philosophize", as in, when Miria decides there is no time to philosophize. Miria's not really "philosophizing" since philosophizing is talking about what the meaning of life is, what does it mean to have knowledge, etc.

But other than that obvious mistake, this is one of your impressive works. I was taken by surprise at the quite high standard. Hope the next few chapters will be as good!


P.S. if it's a bar rigardo and Isley are drinking in, I think the word "barmaid" would suit the place of the "waitress" more. Waitress is quite a modern term.
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Old 2009-01-29, 19:56   Link #3192
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It reminds me to much of shelter's one shot that he had about Rigardo.
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Old 2009-01-30, 01:03   Link #3193
Ryuken
Claymore #01
 
 
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Reminded me very much of Bram from Valkyrie profile the game. Rigardo and Bram almost the same in every aspect. Nice one @JB.
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Old 2009-01-30, 12:28   Link #3194
MisterJB
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Yosei: thanks a lot. I will change those obvious mistakes. You are the second person who advised me about that word
ps: I failed at philoshopy in school

hell88: I will take it as a compliment my work being any near shelter's level.
Wich oneshot are you talking about?

ryuken: Thank you very much. I have to say that I never played that game.
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Old 2009-01-30, 15:10   Link #3195
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterJB View Post
hell88: I will take it as a compliment my work being any near shelter's level.
Wich oneshot are you talking about?
I wasn't complimenting you but okay I guess...

I didn't mean that it was like his work, I mean't that it's almost like you copied it. It's very much like the one-shot shelter wrote of when Rigardo walked into the bar and talked to Easley.
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Old 2009-01-30, 15:48   Link #3196
MisterJB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hell88 View Post
I wasn't complimenting you but okay I guess...

I didn't mean that it was like his work, I mean't that it's almost like you copied it. It's very much like the one-shot shelter wrote of when Rigardo walked into the bar and talked to Easley.
Really? That's most unfortunate.
Well, if shelter thinks the same then I delete this
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Old 2009-01-30, 16:17   Link #3197
clarakiss~
the toeto nomster~!!
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hell88 View Post
I wasn't complimenting you but okay I guess...

I didn't mean that it was like his work, I mean't that it's almost like you copied it. It's very much like the one-shot shelter wrote of when Rigardo walked into the bar and talked to Easley.
now now h88, be nice. it's only a coincidence that it happen and it's a good fic... even though it needs work. ^^:
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Old 2009-01-30, 16:22   Link #3198
MisterJB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clarakiss~ View Post
now now h88, be nice. it's only a coincidence that it happen and it's a good fic... even though it needs work. ^^:
Thank you very much
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Old 2009-01-30, 17:54   Link #3199
Yosei
Death by writing
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Imperial Fire overload. Now. It's been too long here.


Chapter 41: To Wash Away Your Tears

Chapter 42: A Vision of Purification

Chapter 43: China's Destiny


Chapter 44: Ibrahim


Chapter 45: Aligned Fate


See if you like/enjoy.
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Old 2009-01-30, 21:08   Link #3200
shelter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterJB View Post
Really? That's most unfortunate.
Well, if shelter thinks the same then I delete this
Nope. I don't think there's any similarity. There are only so many settings in which Isley & Rigardo can have a conversation of this intensity (a bar, in his HQ, on the battlefield). And even lesser subjects Rigardo can engage Isley seriously in. So I think it's just a freak coincidence. It should remain up.

Because the discussion is so rational & rationalizing, it is difficult to see what exactly Rigardo wants from the talk with Isley. There is no question. And about 90% of the very deep philosophy stems from stray comments which Isley shoots out quite at random.

Also, I think the Isley-Rigardo conversation completely eclipsed Miria's duel with Rigardo.


@Hell: Thanks for pointing out possible similarities. But there are quite a lot of differences here. As mentioned, the setting is stable - but I think it just shows that we need to think more broadly how we can make the settings more different
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