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Old 2007-08-09, 19:19   Link #41
Kuroineko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie View Post

So don't put on some mask or hard exterior for people to see you, as 3rd OVA did say.. "Just act how you are, because that's where you're best" from Sachiko to Yumi.. n_n
I know^-^I'ts just I'm a bit insecure and stuff and don't wanna loose any friends so I have decided to ease it on them and put up more and more of the real me^^. (my closest friend kind of know I'm like that though but he's the only person I'm really secure around)

And yeah we'll just see in the future how the sexuality thing works out.. To tiering to think about hehe..
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Old 2007-08-09, 22:04   Link #42
Stephanie
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If your "friends" have a hard time accepting you, then they're not your 'friends' cause you should feel comfortable with them no matter what.. ^___^

To tell you the truth, I too wondered the same worries and doubt when I was in high school, what I did though was show who I am first before admiting to them I'm bi.. Then they just accepted me, it was a shocker for them but later they didn't care.. n_n

About your sexuality thing, feel free to discuss it in this thread.. We don't really know who you are and we won't like spread anything about you.. It's like this is a little sanctuary.. n_n
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Old 2007-08-10, 00:09   Link #43
crazyhorse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuroineko View Post

Also shoujo ai in general along with marimite has made me much more open minded and totally accepting about homosexuality and this led to ---> me doubting my own sexuality..
OMG lol you took the words out of my mouth.
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Old 2007-08-10, 01:17   Link #44
Stephanie
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lol, I have a question..

Why does it seem that whenever I watch Maria-sama, I feel so happy? o_O

Example are the OVAs, when I was watching them for the 1st time, there was this smile stuck on my face from start to finish, hiding my face behind my shirt.. -___-

Why? Why? Why? I feel complete bliss in Maria-sama!! D:
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Old 2007-08-10, 04:02   Link #45
big_fan1704
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Well, I 'm really happy when I watch Marimite. Just like it can express my feeling, their relationship 's so beautiful and pure.

Last edited by big_fan1704; 2009-08-21 at 14:33.
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Old 2007-08-10, 04:20   Link #46
Stephanie
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lol..
Anyway, not too long at all, that's what this thread is all about..

Not much are sharing, (posting here, I mean) so it's a good thing you can share your story, I'm sure there are a lot of people afraid of posting their story.. because it seems wrong..

So, what do you plan to do with your friend?
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Old 2007-08-12, 09:03   Link #47
disney72
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wow.. so we have 2 complex relationship now.. stephs and big fan's.. hmmm.. how was it anyway? being inlove with a girl?
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Old 2007-08-12, 20:56   Link #48
Stephanie
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Not only me and bigfan's, but Styx101 and others as well..

You know what? It's actually hard. Many (and I got facts to back it up) people who go through this phase are mentally lonely and kind of an outcast in his/her society and they are the most people prone to sickness..

It's hard, when you love someone, you have to hold it back in.. You have to STOP yourself.. Do you think it's easy? You can't even announce your love in public.. (This is so d@mn sad)

You feel like your whole family, friends and everyone might reject you and throw you out.. You can't be yourself, you have to act like somebody else.. You can't be with who you love..

It's like your all alone.

Two choices are given to you:
1.) Ignore your feelings, keep yourself locked up in a cage only to hear your pain and love grows stronger and you can't take it anymore..
2.) You go all the way, and ask if God himself would forgive you.

*Sorry for the negativeness, but this is solid fact*

I'll post the counterpart of this later, I got to go for now..
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Last edited by Stephanie; 2007-08-13 at 00:29. Reason: Fear is only in our minds, taking over all the time
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Old 2007-08-13, 08:59   Link #49
Bonjour
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Wow, that made me feel.. sad.
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Old 2007-08-13, 09:03   Link #50
disney72
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Unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie View Post
Not only me and bigfan's, but Styx101 and others as well..

You know what? It's actually hard. Many (and I got facts to back it up) people who go through this phase are mentally lonely and kind of an outcast in his/her society and they are the most people prone to sickness..

It's hard, when you love someone, you have to hold it back in.. You have to STOP yourself.. Do you think it's easy? You can't even announce your love in public.. (This is so d@mn sad)

You feel like your whole family, friends and everyone might reject you and throw you out.. You can't be yourself, you have to act like somebody else.. You can't be with who you love..

It's like your all alone.

Two choices are given to you:
1.) Ignore your feelings, keep yourself locked up in a cage only to hear your pain and love grows stronger and you can't take it anymore..
2.) You go all the way, and ask if God himself would forgive you.

*Sorry for the negativeness, but this is solid fact*

I'll post the counterpart of this later, I got to go for now..
that made me feel awful.. well i guess im a bad person then...
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Old 2007-08-13, 10:54   Link #51
Stephanie
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Oh heavens! Sorry, forgot to post back at this..

And no, disney-san, you're not a bad person.. n_n

Anyway, those things I posted before, those are the things and questions that usually run in a bi/gay/lesbian person's mind.. The answer keeps spiraling that they can't even choose.. They're so confused.. That's why they are more prone to sickness than ordianry people, because they THINK too much, stress builds up and so are unhappiness..

One thing I can say to counter this part, out of all those nervousness and fears, guess what? Doesn't matter..

Your REAL friends will accept you no matter what you are, and they did say, having 2 close friends in your lifetime is already a blessing..

Life is too short to focus so much on confusion and problems, actually, the truth is, humans are always confused about something within themselves (be it straight/homo/powerful/influential/etc.)

But.. When you understand this quote, "For the confusions around are mere refelctions of what's within.." (lol, quote from a church mass) it's when you'll realize that when we are confuse, we only think about ourselves and not see the bigger world out there..

Here's the thing, you just loved a person, that's not much of a sin.. Really. You're just a human afterall, you can't be perfect. Though, religiously speaking (sorry, but this IS my belief), just don't do anything PHYSICAL with them, and you're ok.

Emotions are emotions, who said it'd be easy to control them? Even the greatest people fall down on their knees for this.

You can love, and no it's not a sin, you're human afterall, doing anything PHYSICAL is..

"For the confusions around are mere reflections of what's within.."

"Freak out, let it go.. You got to live your life.. Don't ever run and hide, don't compromise, cause you'll never know.. Don't watch the time go by, don't keep it inside.."

"In this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up.."

Anyway, if you have any thoughts of sadness and stuff, please post here..
I am so very sorry, didn't mean to make you guys sad.. (T__T)

Here's my YM if you like to chat: (Please introduce yourselves)
stephanie.mrobles@yahoo.com.ph
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Old 2007-08-14, 11:21   Link #52
Bonjour
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie View Post
So, I kinda become like Sei-chan.. Kinda like what happened to her, then after 3 years of emptiness, all I did was did what she did.. I teased people to have fun, lol.. Exactly like how she does it.. n_n
The reason you're like that is because:
Quote:
Originally Posted by From Kaoru Chujo
It is clear that the "happy-go-lucky" Sei is really sad underneath, and trying to cheer herself up by being funny. Comedians are often sad and serious people, really.
Looking back and reading the "Should Sei and Shiori ran away" thread, (http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=10936) I realized that the reason Sei was avoiding Shimako because Shimako was just like "her."

Quote:
Sei had always been a little anti-social, so was Shiori and so was Shimako. Sei seemed a little self-deprecating, Shiori was perhaps restrained by her faith, and Shimako was quite possibly a loner by her own disposition.
I think Shimako was kind of like Sei at first, just wants to be alone, and when someone important shows up, they kind of concentrate their whole world on that person.. So maybe that's what Youko means, "They're the same." to Sei. So Sei, doing the same things Shiori did, does it to Shimako. Shimako, to Noriko.

The white rose family, even Shizuka, seems to be kind of all introverts and loners.



Regarding your post, I'm fine so far. I'm not sure about disney72.

I guess you made this thread to try and bring out everyone's reason and try to be a "Youko-san" eh? (Just percieving things)

You said you like helping people.
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Old 2007-08-15, 00:08   Link #53
Confessa
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lol I never had feelings for another girl, and all my 999 crushes were on cute guys. XD

Sei and Shimako...that relationship is seriously destructive. Shimako leans on Sei too much. But do I care? Personally, I hate Noriko because she's boring and I like SeixShimako. However, despite liking a yuri coupling (for the 1st time in my life), I'm not bi or anything.

Stephanie, you are just like Youko! So helping and caring.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a bi/gay/lesbian, though I'm not going to be able to help you, never feeling anything of what you feel (ie. talking to those who are bi or something). Okay, I better exit the conversation before I end up saying something wrong. XD
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Old 2007-08-15, 00:23   Link #54
Stephanie
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Ahh, Bonjour-san, you read me quite well. The "Sei" part of being happy and making fun kinda knocked me, well I must say it's true and I just realised it..

As for Youko-like, yes I do have the habit of stepping into a lot of people's private lives and trying to clear things up and understand them.. Hehe, I meddle into people's lives because that's the source of my happiness.. When I made them happy, I become happy, when I fail, I pout for weeks.

@Confessa
Please join in the conversation.. Negative or positive feedback will be entertained. n_n
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Old 2007-08-18, 08:29   Link #55
Bonjour
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie View Post
The more you resist something, the more it persist..
I've been resisting since I was 4 (Yeah, I know so young) but what I got out of it was liking women more and hating men.. Well, probably the reason as well is all the men in our family cheats, are violent and have mistresses..

My mom and my dad works to earn a living, they go to work the same time, and go home the same time.. Yet when they get home, my dad just becomes a couch potato ordering my mom around while my mom do all the house chores..

I thought, wtf, how lazy.. He's dirty, he's a jerk, and he's lazy.. What do women see in men? They're not even showy..
Men are jerks! ( me sexist, just joking)

Anyway, I think that's the reason you became bi. Men these days are actually 'proud' if they have mistresses, like "Hey, I got a wife AND a hot mistress after me!" It's like a show-off thing to their friends (I know, my uncle is one)

I hate men who try to act all 'macho' and not try and undertand us women. They think their insensitiveness is cool and all, and they drinking beer and getting wasted too.

I think I understand you, I guess.

You start thinking, "I can live without men, all I need are my female companions" and thus, turns like this.

Am I right?
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Old 2007-08-18, 15:03   Link #56
Thingle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonjour View Post
Men are jerks! ( me sexist, just joking)

Anyway, I think that's the reason you became bi. Men these days are actually 'proud' if they have mistresses, like "Hey, I got a wife AND a hot mistress after me!" It's like a show-off thing to their friends (I know, my uncle is one)

I hate men who try to act all 'macho' and not try and undertand us women. They think their insensitiveness is cool and all, and they drinking beer and getting wasted too.

I think I understand you, I guess.

You start thinking, "I can live without men, all I need are my female companions" and thus, turns like this.

Am I right?
No. You are wrong. Don't stereotype. I am male and I am not like what you posted above.
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Old 2007-08-19, 08:05   Link #57
Stephanie
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I think she just meant her uncle, and my dad, and all males in my family (except for one, lol)

But almost all my friend's dad have mistresses, that I sometimes believe all men are like that, but I should know better.. That is why when I look for someone, I try to look for qualities my dad doesn't have..

@Bonjour-san
I think it's also the reason why I guess I'm pretty much an outcast in my childhood years, but I can't blame anyone for that, can I?
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Old 2007-08-19, 09:27   Link #58
Confessa
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Oh, they have mistresses?! My mom would probably divorce my mom if he had a mistress..I would just be pissed off too. Well, different lives I guess.
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Old 2007-08-19, 09:32   Link #59
Stephanie
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Eversince I joined this board, all I could think about is MariMite.. n_n

Hmm, I feel really lonely since yesterday.. I dunno why..
So, I'm pretty sorry if some of my post might look offending..
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Old 2007-08-19, 10:11   Link #60
Confessa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie View Post
Eversince I joined this board, all I could think about is MariMite.. n_n

Hmm, I feel really lonely since yesterday.. I dunno why..
So, I'm pretty sorry if some of my post might look offending..
If you are talking about my post, no offense. If you are not, then still, I see no offense. ^^

Aww...why are you lonely? *hugz*
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