AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > General > General Chat

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2011-01-11, 21:26   Link #101
Asuras
Dictadere~!
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: On the front lines, fighting for inderpendence.
Off the top of my head:

~Open your arms, let me in.
Don't you know insanity will always win?

Hear my words and pray with me now

My light is ever holy
Die with me in matrimony
Never will you see again
Without a haze, my disrupting grin

You see it as a beacon
The others they say otherwise
Trust in me and don't you stray
I can tell you there's no other way

You bear the brunt of a one to tame
And I, the way of a leader
My holy hand reaches for you
Your soul as its claim

Follow me and don't you question, my voice is that of God
He relays his will right through me
Spoken of dreams in bed
And I, my desire, thrust to you instead~
__________________
Asuras is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-15, 09:47   Link #102
idiffer
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Russia, Moscow
Age: 25
Send a message via ICQ to idiffer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asuras View Post
Sounds to me like it describes the "chaos" involved with a balance between utter chaos and bleak and boring quietness in ones mind. It is hard to moderate ones thoughts, and only one of the two extremes seem like the only way to many.
sorry it took me so long to answer. i was waiting on myself to finish the darn poem. anyway. what i tried to describe in my poem was the feeling of chaos in my mind i sometimes have. its not general. i don't know if anyone else has felt that way. sometimes i just fall into this state, when my mind is filled with everything and nothing at the same time for a minute or two. i can't think straight, can't draw conclusions, can't tell what i want, WHY is this happening. and that kind of associates with chaos.
oh, and your poem is nice. i would have preffered it to rhyme and have consistent rythm, but if the idea is interesting, then well it doesn't matter. and once again i don't understand what it is you want to say. i get the feeling that you are god??? cause its from 1st person and all. feel free to correct me, please, really.
so here is my new poem.
Spoiler for poem:
__________________
My posts seem retarted? I invoke the freedomof choice upon thee to choose one of the below.
a) Iím batshit insane or mentally challenged. Nyan!
b) Wasu~p?! *brofist*
c) Your mind is too narrow to embrace my genius, de geso.
d) I was accidentally dropped into a barrel of whiskey, so now I am constantly drunk.
e) Go home and die! Dattebayo!
idiffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-15, 21:53   Link #103
Garigari-kun
The Combat Otaku
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hiding here in Closed Space with Haruhi, Konata, Nagi, and Kirino. Reading: Grimoire
Age: 20
Tsundere

Argh, you're so annoying!
But really…I'm glad you care for me so much.
Why can't you just leave me alone!
To tell the truth, I don't want to be alone.
Don't piss me off!
Whenever I have a bad day, you're the first to make me feel better.
I'm not doing this for you, you know.
How else can I repay you?
You want to know how I really feel about you? Do you?
I'm too afraid to let you know how I truly feel.
You're a jerk, a pervert, and an idiot!
You're a really kind, caring person.
I don't even know why I waste my time with you!
Don't you see? I've fallen for you.
Go away!
Don't leave me.
I hate you!…
I love you.
Garigari-kun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-15, 21:55   Link #104
RandySyler
Onee-Chan Power~!
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: In this reality (A.K.A. Colorado, U.S.A.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garigari-kun View Post
Tsundere

Argh, you're so annoying!
But reallyÖI'm glad you care for me so much.
Why can't you just leave me alone!
To tell the truth, I don't want to be alone.
Don't piss me off!
Whenever I have a bad day, you're the first to make me feel better.
I'm not doing this for you, you know.
How else can I repay you?
You want to know how I really feel about you? Do you?
I'm too afraid to let you know how I truly feel.
You're a jerk, a pervert, and an idiot!
You're a really kind, caring person.
I don't even know why I waste my time with you!
Don't you see? I've fallen for you.
Go away!
Don't leave me.
I hate you!Ö
I love you.
You could replace "Tsundere" with "Bipolar". It would work the same way.
__________________
/Users/TRendfrey/Pictures/pictures/anime/signature.jpg
RandySyler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-15, 22:04   Link #105
Garigari-kun
The Combat Otaku
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hiding here in Closed Space with Haruhi, Konata, Nagi, and Kirino. Reading: Grimoire
Age: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by RandySyler View Post
You could replace "Tsundere" with "Bipolar". It would work the same way.
Oh, alright! but it's closer to Yandere/Yangire for me xD


Spoiler for TSUNDERE:
__________________

Nendoroid © Good Smile Company
"I'm just one
Hell of a OTAKU"
Garigari-kun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-15, 22:16   Link #106
Asuras
Dictadere~!
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: On the front lines, fighting for inderpendence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by idiffer View Post
sorry it took me so long to answer. i was waiting on myself to finish the darn poem. anyway. what i tried to describe in my poem was the feeling of chaos in my mind i sometimes have. its not general. i don't know if anyone else has felt that way. sometimes i just fall into this state, when my mind is filled with everything and nothing at the same time for a minute or two. i can't think straight, can't draw conclusions, can't tell what i want, WHY is this happening. and that kind of associates with chaos.
oh, and your poem is nice. i would have preffered it to rhyme and have consistent rythm, but if the idea is interesting, then well it doesn't matter. and once again i don't understand what it is you want to say. i get the feeling that you are god??? cause its from 1st person and all. feel free to correct me, please, really.
Well... No. I'm not God.

The poem speaks as if its narrator were a religious preacher, and obviously has goals for his listeners other than holy divinity.

It's about using religion for one own purposes, rather than as a medium between heaven and Earth.
__________________
Asuras is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-17, 10:08   Link #107
idiffer
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Russia, Moscow
Age: 25
Send a message via ICQ to idiffer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garigari-kun View Post
Tsundere

Argh, you're so annoying!
But reallyÖI'm glad you care for me so much.
Why can't you just leave me alone!
To tell the truth, I don't want to be alone.
Don't piss me off!
Whenever I have a bad day, you're the first to make me feel better.
I'm not doing this for you, you know.
How else can I repay you?
You want to know how I really feel about you? Do you?
I'm too afraid to let you know how I truly feel.
You're a jerk, a pervert, and an idiot!
You're a really kind, caring person.
I don't even know why I waste my time with you!
Don't you see? I've fallen for you.
Go away!
Don't leave me.
I hate you!Ö
I love you.
cool! thats probably the first anime poem i've seen. the idea is very well executed actually. my personal preference of rhyme and rythm don't let me enjoy it as much as i would have liked to as always...but you did give me inspiration to write my own anime themed poem. so, thanks for that. its funny how i always need other ppl to make me do stuff i won't normally do.
here's a preview.
ponytails give you hard on's
while installing your add on's
eroge's with the loli/sis-con thing
satisfy i'll your every fling

and something i dug up in my notebook just now...

deceive and derange
all you want rearange
but nothing will change
you and yourself
alone on a shelf
consealed in your head
untill you are dead
all others are ghost
mere shadows at most
the walls and the ceiling
i know that damn feeling
you're fine with that
i still take off my hat...
__________________
My posts seem retarted? I invoke the freedomof choice upon thee to choose one of the below.
a) Iím batshit insane or mentally challenged. Nyan!
b) Wasu~p?! *brofist*
c) Your mind is too narrow to embrace my genius, de geso.
d) I was accidentally dropped into a barrel of whiskey, so now I am constantly drunk.
e) Go home and die! Dattebayo!
idiffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-01-20, 20:35   Link #108
Garigari-kun
The Combat Otaku
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hiding here in Closed Space with Haruhi, Konata, Nagi, and Kirino. Reading: Grimoire
Age: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by idiffer View Post
cool! thats probably the first anime poem i've seen. the idea is very well executed actually. my personal preference of rhyme and rythm don't let me enjoy it as much as i would have liked to as always...but you did give me inspiration to write my own anime themed poem. so, thanks for that. its funny how i always need other ppl to make me do stuff i won't normally do.
here's a preview.
ponytails give you hard on's
while installing your add on's
eroge's with the loli/sis-con thing
satisfy i'll your every fling

and something i dug up in my notebook just now...

deceive and derange
all you want rearange
but nothing will change
you and yourself
alone on a shelf
consealed in your head
untill you are dead
all others are ghost
mere shadows at most
the walls and the ceiling
i know that damn feeling
you're fine with that
i still take off my hat...
Thanks for understanding
__________________

Nendoroid © Good Smile Company
"I'm just one
Hell of a OTAKU"
Garigari-kun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-02, 16:23   Link #109
idiffer
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Russia, Moscow
Age: 25
Send a message via ICQ to idiffer
well, i got drunk again and felt inspiration surging through me. 2 out of 3 times when i feel the need to write a poem, i want to write about everything at the same time. the impossibility of this drives me crazy. this is the furthest i've gotten in that regard...
Spoiler for long poem:
__________________
My posts seem retarted? I invoke the freedomof choice upon thee to choose one of the below.
a) Iím batshit insane or mentally challenged. Nyan!
b) Wasu~p?! *brofist*
c) Your mind is too narrow to embrace my genius, de geso.
d) I was accidentally dropped into a barrel of whiskey, so now I am constantly drunk.
e) Go home and die! Dattebayo!

Last edited by idiffer; 2011-02-02 at 16:48.
idiffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-14, 20:35   Link #110
idiffer
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Russia, Moscow
Age: 25
Send a message via ICQ to idiffer
and here i am with another poem. it feels like this thread is becoming my personal blog. i'm okay with that. owning smth on a public forum is awesome. guests now and then don't make it too boring.
this poem was written at 6 a.m. after a major party with my friends. dunno how i had the strength to write anything at the time, when i was sleep deprived and wasted. anyway, strangely enough it turned out to have metre and rhyme, somewhat.
Spoiler for gg:
__________________
My posts seem retarted? I invoke the freedomof choice upon thee to choose one of the below.
a) Iím batshit insane or mentally challenged. Nyan!
b) Wasu~p?! *brofist*
c) Your mind is too narrow to embrace my genius, de geso.
d) I was accidentally dropped into a barrel of whiskey, so now I am constantly drunk.
e) Go home and die! Dattebayo!
idiffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-15, 00:19   Link #111
Suomi
Kaiba
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: David Tennant's bedroom in the TARDIS
I whipped this one out quickly as the inspiration hit me, based off a lyric from a song...nothing big but I like it.

Angel in the Darkness
I do
I hear only one voice
calling in the darkness
but that voice, that voice
is you
the voice is yours, calling me out
calling me up
out of the darkness
telling me "I love you"
and wrapping your beautiful angel's wings
around me
__________________
Suomi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-15, 09:49   Link #112
Ricky Controversy
Frandle & Nightbag
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
For the sake of preserving formatting, since it's crucial to the meaning of the poem, I am simply linking you to this morning's update to my site.

http://rickycontroversy.squarespace....gentle-as.html
__________________
Ricky Controversy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-18, 12:03   Link #113
Rakhool
~[>Goth Lolicon<]~
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: world of my own~
Age: 25
well mine's not really a poem, had made this 2 years ago @_@ juz wanna share~
so here it goes~

Rakhool's beginning
Reborn from the white tree of holyness...
Awaken from the mystical astral...
Crossing through the endless sacred reamls...
Finaly there reach the gift of god...
Eager to discover...
Eager to protect...
Eager to fight...
But not eager to be defeated...
Just beyond these moutains...
Finaly meets the fate of death itself...
I'll strike!
I'll strife!
I'll give it all i got!!!
Finaly...
Limping out of the central of evil...
With no one to turn to...
Nothing to turn to...
... ...
But I was suddenly knock out...
At my first sight...
I saw a nymph besides me...
I know that this isn't my time to die yet...
I've been gifted!
This is just my beginning!
__________________
Rakhool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-18, 14:42   Link #114
careph
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asuras View Post
Spoiler for for brevity:
Apologies for taking this up so late.

In a nutshell, the I of the poem is not happy about what he/she perceives to be the current state of humanity, citing decadence, superficiality, indifference, incompetence and ignorance as core issues which will eventually lead to its doom. From an isolated, curative position the voice is devising a plan to save humanity from its demise; a plan to fix humanity - “HumaniFix”.
careph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-18, 19:50   Link #115
idiffer
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Russia, Moscow
Age: 25
Send a message via ICQ to idiffer
this first one was written on a whim when i was answering a post here on animesuki, and you may have seen it in the "dating " thread some time ago. i didn't ever think that i could reply with a poem, but i did, spending less then 5 min. to write it. its definitely shit, won't deny that...

Spoiler for poem 1:

this one...uhh..i don't remember if i wrote it yesterday or the day before yesterday, or 3 days ago...i guess i have a subconcious thing for love themes, with me being single and all. it doesn't have a meaning, just momentary thoughts and feelings.
Spoiler for poem 2:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakhool View Post
well mine's not really a poem, had made this 2 years ago @_@ juz wanna share~
so here it goes~

Rakhool's beginning
Reborn from the white tree of holyness...
Awaken from the mystical astral...
Crossing through the endless sacred reamls...
Finaly there reach the gift of god...
Eager to discover...
Eager to protect...
Eager to fight...
But not eager to be defeated...
Just beyond these moutains...
Finaly meets the fate of death itself...
I'll strike!
I'll strife!
I'll give it all i got!!!
Finaly...
Limping out of the central of evil...
With no one to turn to...
Nothing to turn to...
... ...
But I was suddenly knock out...
At my first sight...
I saw a nymph besides me...
I know that this isn't my time to die yet...
I've been gifted!
This is just my beginning!
damn, i liked this one. the theme is one i associate with. and i even found a certain rythm after i read it 3 times out loud to myself. although i would have chosen better wording. as in, your grammar seems to be a bit wrong a few times...
and it is a poem. anything can be a poem these days, really. the classic style is being ignored because it can no longer convey the thoughts and troubles of our generation, of course partially because it IS a style of an OLD generation. free verse has been and always will be, for that matter.
__________________
My posts seem retarted? I invoke the freedomof choice upon thee to choose one of the below.
a) Iím batshit insane or mentally challenged. Nyan!
b) Wasu~p?! *brofist*
c) Your mind is too narrow to embrace my genius, de geso.
d) I was accidentally dropped into a barrel of whiskey, so now I am constantly drunk.
e) Go home and die! Dattebayo!

Last edited by idiffer; 2011-02-18 at 20:46.
idiffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-18, 23:40   Link #116
Ricky Controversy
Frandle & Nightbag
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
As with my last poem, submitting the url here for the sake of not having to reformat everything all over again.

http://rickycontroversy.squarespace....ous-thing.html
__________________
Ricky Controversy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-19, 00:03   Link #117
idiffer
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Russia, Moscow
Age: 25
Send a message via ICQ to idiffer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricky Controversy View Post
As with my last poem, submitting the url here for the sake of not having to reformat everything all over again.

http://rickycontroversy.squarespace....ous-thing.html
i think the spacing made it hard to read, and most of all it didn't put emphesis on anything, as it should. it felt random, disconnected. the theme felt okay, but not with this kind of sophisticated formatting. rain, train, holes in the sky...nothing warranting any kind of experimental approach. sorry if i seem offensive, its just what i feel. no hate for u as a poet or person.
__________________
My posts seem retarted? I invoke the freedomof choice upon thee to choose one of the below.
a) Iím batshit insane or mentally challenged. Nyan!
b) Wasu~p?! *brofist*
c) Your mind is too narrow to embrace my genius, de geso.
d) I was accidentally dropped into a barrel of whiskey, so now I am constantly drunk.
e) Go home and die! Dattebayo!
idiffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-19, 00:07   Link #118
Asuras
Dictadere~!
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: On the front lines, fighting for inderpendence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by careph View Post
Apologies for taking this up so late.

In a nutshell, the I of the poem is not happy about what he/she perceives to be the current state of humanity, citing decadence, superficiality, indifference, incompetence and ignorance as core issues which will eventually lead to its doom. From an isolated, curative position the voice is devising a plan to save humanity from its demise; a plan to fix humanity - ďHumaniFixĒ.
Very good. You are spot on, but not quite there.

I feel it may be a little too complicated and vague for anyone to truly figure out. So I'll tell the tale.

In a nutshell, it's about human evolution, and how it has stagnated. In a natural world, it is "survival of the fittest" where those with good genes ("jeans") survive. Because the "hospital of denial," those that were not fit to live are kept alive, and their "bad" genes are passed on. This man ("I") is in his wilderness sanctity; an old hermit who seems crazy. He revels over societies frivolous activities, and their ignorance to nature.
Do realize I am no eugenicist. Merely a boy who has realized what modern medical advancements mean to our evolution as a species.
__________________
Asuras is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-19, 00:17   Link #119
Afternoon Tea
Ta~Da!!
*Artist
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois, United States
Age: 20
Send a message via Skype™ to Afternoon Tea
Can someone help me with poetry? I'm not very good at it, and I don't know to structure/start one. Can someone help me? The reason why, is because i want to write music lyrics, but I can't do it if I don't have a good understanding of poetry, How should I start, where do I start, and how do you structure these things. Like I remember doing this in 8th grade like rhyming the last word for ever other sentence or something ( i dont even know the terms) like that, but that was 4 years ago when i did not give a crap about poetry

sorry if this is off topic i'll delete this post if it is
__________________
====
Signature:
Yui Hirasawa
====
MyBlog:
Blog!

====
Quote:
"I'll send
all my loving
to you.
"


Afternoon Tea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2011-02-19, 00:22   Link #120
Ricky Controversy
Frandle & Nightbag
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptnAwesomee View Post
Can someone help me with poetry? I'm not very good at it, and I don't know to structure/start one. Can someone help me? The reason why, is because i want to write music lyrics, but I can't do it if I don't have a good understanding of poetry, How should I start, where do I start, and how do you structure these things. Like I remember doing this in 8th grade but that was 4 years ago when i did not give a crap about poetry

sorry if this is off topic i'll delete this post if it is
There isn't really one definitive 'how' to poetry, and frankly, the best way someone can foster your development as a poet is to work with you piece by piece and gradually encourage you to push your boundaries and try different things. Basically, shaking up your comfort zone--which will initially always be something very generic and mechanical because, hey, we all start off clueless!--is all that can be done.

So why not post a sample of your work, or whip up something right now and keep yourself receptive to critique.
__________________
Ricky Controversy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
literature, poetry, writing

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 15:22.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We use Silk.