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Old 2010-01-18, 08:17   Link #961
bladeofdarkness
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the new megido ep is pretty awesome
but one thing thats been bothering me about the build up of zero-squad in this version
Marika Soresi is one of them
thats right, THAT Marika Soresi
the one who's brother kallen had killed in narita

does it not seem kinda odd that she'd be willing to fall under the command of the one who killed her brother ?
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Old 2010-01-18, 10:42   Link #962
Bonzo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bladeofdarkness View Post
the new megido ep is pretty awesome
but one thing thats been bothering me about the build up of zero-squad in this version
Marika Soresi is one of them
thats right, THAT Marika Soresi
the one who's brother kallen had killed in narita

does it not seem kinda odd that she'd be willing to fall under the command of the one who killed her brother ?
About a point of view yes, I made something of similar, Kallen killed Luciano, the brother of Amanda, but I written a explanation for the fact Amanda forgived her.

But for Marika, no explanation.
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Old 2010-01-18, 12:52   Link #963
lightbringer
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Question anything worth reading post-R2?

For one reason or another I got drawn into reading fanfics yesterday after finishing yet another S1+R2 marathon (courtesy of getting the S1 box sets from the UK). Even though I successfully stayed away for years -_-

I read Megiddo yesterday and liked it well enough to keep reading without break, courtesy of the rather fresh spin on things. I also read The Game of Kings, which felt extremely weak and contrived plot-wise but had decent characterization (and some nice character twists, although a large number ended up entirely OOC). I looked over some of the other stories but most are either far too short (or even one-shots), or are not what I am looking for (CG:LvB went on a wild tangent).

Are there any post-R2 (or at least post-S1) stories out there that are of decent length (think novella) and do not suffer from contrived plot or OOC characters? And have more than a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting updated? I still plan to read The Sum of Our Choices, but if there's anything post-R2 out there I'm all ears I don't particularly care if Lelouch is alive or dead in the story, as long as it's believable.
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Old 2010-01-18, 12:56   Link #964
Betteroffer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bladeofdarkness View Post
the new megido ep is pretty awesome
but one thing thats been bothering me about the build up of zero-squad in this version
Marika Soresi is one of them
thats right, THAT Marika Soresi
the one who's brother kallen had killed in narita

does it not seem kinda odd that she'd be willing to fall under the command of the one who killed her brother ?
Well, she was told by her government, in no uncertain terms, that she and every living thing in Area 11 were expendable.

It'll likely be addressed in later chapters, as well as whether or not she still holds any residual hostility towards Kallen. That said, if you notice this incarnation of Marika is sort of the "silent-brooder" type character which works well for her, given what she has dealt with.

EDIT: @ lightbringer: Galton's Children is another well written Code Geass fanfiction. It is technically a cross over with Elfen Lied, but Lucy is the only major character brought over, and one doesn't really need much knowledge of Elfen Lied to enjoy the story. The characterization is really one of the highlights, as well as the pull-no-punches nature of the story. That said, this incarnation of Lelouch is rather different than his canon counterpart.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5327665/1/Galtons_Children

Last edited by Betteroffer; 2010-01-18 at 13:08.
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Old 2010-01-18, 13:16   Link #965
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Thanks Betteroffer, I'll check that one out, too. I should probably mention that I'm not a big fan of crossovers of any kind, though
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Old 2010-01-18, 13:43   Link #966
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Personally speaking, I thoroughly enjoyed Dirge of Daedalus, though I guess some people might have slight issues with the interpretation of Kallen and her relationship with Lelouch. It was concluded last month at 26 chapters and is currently followed by a set of Picture Drama-style side-chapters titled Chronicles of Tartarus, and in the spring according to the author Kodai Okuda (aka GundamFan0083 on these boards), will be followed by a sequel series titled The Alpha And The Omega.
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Old 2010-01-18, 14:07   Link #967
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Originally Posted by lightbringer View Post
Thanks Betteroffer, I'll check that one out, too. I should probably mention that I'm not a big fan of crossovers of any kind, though
Me either. In fact for a long time I didn't even look at the thing, but one day I just gave it a look out of boredom and I just loved how the characters were handled, despite the very cynical spin to the story.

Overall, Megiddo and The Sum Of Our Choices are, in my opinion, the two best alternate takes on R2 thus far by leagues in terms of quality and depth, and both are still being steadily updated as well. The fact that they're also both Kalulu fics is honestly just icing on the already awesome cake.

Lelouch of Britannia is also superbly done, but as has been noted, updates VERY sporadically, and is more of a "What if Lelouch remained a prince?" story, like Galton's Children (sorry I didn't clarify that part earlier).
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Old 2010-01-19, 15:24   Link #968
lightbringer
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Finished Sum of Choices today. The Kallen moments were nice, but the other characters were acting pretty random. It wouldn't be such a problem if at least Lelouch would act like Lelouch, but the dialogue felt forced all over. Lots of new characters were introduced, but I found little reason to empathize with any of them. I'm also not too fond of all the retconning going on in that story. It's okay for R2 stuff, even for the Lulu At Gunpoint (since the resolution is in R2), but retconning important events that happened before the Kaminejima just felt wrong. That's possibly more of a personal thing for me, although the author is also retconning his own story early on. Nevertheless, I'm sure I'll read the next chapter when it comes along.

Reading Dirge right now, and liking it so far (trying to get past the info dump). Definitely what I was looking for, a long post-R2 story. Unfortunately, grammar isn't this author's strong point (lots of run-ons, to vs too, there vs their). I'll deal with the "interpretation of Kallen and her relationship with Lelouch" stuff once I cross that bridge, though I'm not really obsessed with shipping any specific pairing.

Thanks for bringing me up to speed, guys.

Last edited by lightbringer; 2010-01-19 at 15:35.
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Old 2010-01-19, 19:12   Link #969
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Another good post R2 story is Revenant. It's only 8 chapters, but they're all quite long. Didn't really like the ending myself, but it isn't for lack of quality by any means.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5168042/1/Revenant
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Old 2010-01-19, 19:24   Link #970
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lightbringer View Post
Finished Sum of Choices today. The Kallen moments were nice, but the other characters were acting pretty random. It wouldn't be such a problem if at least Lelouch would act like Lelouch, but the dialogue felt forced all over. Lots of new characters were introduced, but I found little reason to empathize with any of them. I'm also not too fond of all the retconning going on in that story. It's okay for R2 stuff, even for the Lulu At Gunpoint (since the resolution is in R2), but retconning important events that happened before the Kaminejima just felt wrong. That's possibly more of a personal thing for me, although the author is also retconning his own story early on. Nevertheless, I'm sure I'll read the next chapter when it comes along.

Reading Dirge right now, and liking it so far (trying to get past the info dump). Definitely what I was looking for, a long post-R2 story. Unfortunately, grammar isn't this author's strong point (lots of run-ons, to vs too, there vs their). I'll deal with the "interpretation of Kallen and her relationship with Lelouch" stuff once I cross that bridge, though I'm not really obsessed with shipping any specific pairing.

Thanks for bringing me up to speed, guys.
No problem. Can't fault him too much for grammar, as he has pumped out each chapter at a roughly weekly rate and kept a high modicum of quality in practically all other areas. (Not to mention creating arts of mecha and other aircraft designs.)
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Old 2010-01-19, 19:43   Link #971
lightbringer
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Well, the dialogue feels pretty weak (this seems to be an almost universal constant in these stories, oh well. I guess no-one reads Hemingway anymore) and I question some of the actions of Todoh and Xingke but I still find it interesting due to the political situation and overall plot (I'm up to ch 10 now). With something like seven or more factions maneuvering out in the open and behind the scenes, it's suitably complex to be worthy of Code Geass. And bringing in a bunch of warlocks and immortals from you-know-which-faction was a nice way to expand on the Geass mythos.

Last edited by lightbringer; 2010-01-19 at 19:54.
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Old 2010-01-19, 20:05   Link #972
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True. The author decided that Tohdoh would end up having become fed up with Britannia and its royal family, given everything that happened on their account.
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Old 2010-01-19, 20:20   Link #973
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Originally Posted by lightbringer View Post
Well, the dialogue feels pretty weak (this seems to be an almost universal constant in these stories, oh well. I guess no-one reads Hemingway anymore) and I question some of the actions of Todoh and Xingke but I still find it interesting due to the political situation and overall plot (I'm up to ch 10 now). With something like seven or more factions maneuvering out in the open and behind the scenes, it's suitably complex to be worthy of Code Geass. And bringing in a bunch of warlocks and immortals from you-know-which-faction was a nice way to expand on the Geass mythos.
Glad you like my fanfiction enough to care.
I'm flattered.
The dialogue in Code Geass itself is very weak.
Case in Point:
Euphemia to Suzaku, "I command you to love me!"

Personally I enjoy reading Clive Barker, HP Lovecraft, Isac Asimov, Clarke, Frank Herbert, Tolkien, etc.
Can't stand Hemingway, his writing was rathering boring in my opinion.
I prefer a more simplistic and vulgar structure to writing that is reminicent of how people really speak rather then some melodic nonsense that the current crop of the literary elite think you have to aspire too.
The great Sci-Fi writers were horrible when it came to dialogue (well Van Vogt was good, as were a few others, but in general they were all nasty).
Robert E. Howard, Heinlen, Niven, Poul Anderson, and especially Edgar Rice Burroughs were just plain bad when it came to the wording, Info Dumps, etc.
But their stories, their ideas, their visions of the future were incredible, and in Sci-Fi that is what gets you published and makes money.
I'm not out to win a Nebula with this story, it's just for fun.

I'm aware of what is and is not good literature, but the fanfic is free after all so I don't put out more than the 1st draft (which is rife with mistakes I know).
It's not that I don't care, its just I have a great deal of story to cover and very little time to do it in.
There are certainly plot-holes, asspulls, and the occational Deus ex Machina (which was done intentionally), to keep inline with how Code Geass was written and thus maintain the feel of the anime.
Brave New World it was not.
That said, I hope you enjoy the roller-coaster ride that this story is and if you'd like to check out the artwork you can find it, and the story in its entirety, right here on animesuki.

http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=86350
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Old 2010-01-19, 20:48   Link #974
GundamFan0083
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Originally Posted by Kyero Fox View Post
better watch your back gundamfan, there are lots of anti Gino fans out there

and that sucks, I hate coffie too XD now i hate it more.
Update for you Kyero Fox.
I've got the sketch done except for that damn Karasawa rifle.

I'm going to go fishing through my boxes of PS2 games to find AC2 and see if there's a decent pic of it in there.
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Old 2010-01-19, 21:20   Link #975
lightbringer
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Hehe. I think you got a wrong idea about me. I certainly don't expect classic literature from fanfics. I mentioned Hemingway because he was, in my opinion, a Master of Dialogue(tm) and hence worthy of study. Not that it necessarily fits with Code Geass or anything.

Quote:
Glad you like my fanfiction enough to care.
I'm flattered.
I'm still reading, so obviously you did something right

Quote:
The dialogue in Code Geass itself is very weak.
Case in Point:
Euphemia to Suzaku, "I command you to love me!"
Nah, that's just Euphie being Euphie. One of the great things about CG dialogue (apart from Zero's grandiose speeches) was that every character had a very unique style. In Dirge it feels like almost every character is talking with the same voice. Of course, the voice actors contribute to this when they bring their character alive, but that's not all of it. One thing I liked though is that despite the fact that you introduced a bunch of new characters (some of whom, being teen hotshots, give me Gundam vibes, although given your account name I guess that's to be expected), most of them don't feel bland or out of place.

Quote:
Can't stand Hemingway, his writing was rathering boring in my opinion.
You need to read (or read again) some of his short stories, like The Killers or Today is Friday.

Quote:
The great Sci-Fi writers were horrible when it came to dialogue
I guess that depends on who you define as great. Jules Verne, Arthur C. Clarke, Ray Bradbury, and Douglas Adams for instance were all pretty good when it came to dialogue.

Quote:
I prefer a more simplistic and vulgar structure to writing that is reminicent of how people really speak rather then some melodic nonsense that the current crop of the literary elite think you have to aspire too.
Thing is, how people really speak in real life is pretty god-awful boring. It's basically bland and uninspired most of the time - not something people generally look for in fiction. But at least you are making this choice consciously.

Quote:
That said, I hope you enjoy the roller-coaster ride that this story is and if you'd like to check out the artwork you can find it, and the story in its entirety, right here on animesuki.
The current length is already very impressive (in paperback I guess this would be around 350-500 pages as is) and I'm told you have a sequel planned, so I'm interested in seeing where this goes. Good luck!

On another note, the amount of grammar mistakes is really high (as you already know) and it's quite distracting . If you have Word (which you do) you could try running the text through it. It should catch many of these mistakes, since it's rather good at catching the very basic stuff. I would also suggest reading this, this, and this. Don't know if you're touchy about this - for many of us, English is not our native language, but we can learn from our mistakes. From what I've seen, your most often repeated mistake is not setting off names with a comma (see point 4 about nonessential elements here). To me this was also the most distracting one because it completely messed up the flow of the dialogue

You could also go through the early chapters one of these days and mass-replace Valletta with Villetta ;-).

Oh, and your drawings of the KMF/ships kick ass! As does your version of an older Kallen.

Last edited by lightbringer; 2010-01-19 at 22:03.
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Old 2010-01-19, 22:04   Link #976
Kyero Fox
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Originally Posted by GundamFan0083 View Post
Update for you Kyero Fox.
I've got the sketch done except for that damn Karasawa rifle.

I'm going to go fishing through my boxes of PS2 games to find AC2 and see if there's a decent pic of it in there.
send me the sketch, and Im sure i can find one for u if i can.
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Old 2010-01-19, 22:27   Link #977
GundamFan0083
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Originally Posted by lightbringer View Post
Hehe. I think you got a wrong idea about me. I certainly don't expect classic literature from fanfics. I mentioned Hemingway because he was, in my opinion, a Master of Dialogue(tm) and hence worthy of study. Not that it necessarily fits with Code Geass or anything.
Oh. Well that's understandble.
F. Scott Fitzgerald is also a good example IMHO.
I like his dialogue style, particularly in the Great Gatsby.

Quote:
I'm still reading, so obviously you did something right
That is always a good thing.

Quote:
Nah, that's just Euphie being Euphie. One of the great things about CG dialogue (apart from Zero's grandiose speeches) was that every character had a very unique style. In Dirge it feels like almost every character is talking with the same voice. Of course, the voice actors contribute to this when they bring their character alive, but that's not all of it. One thing I liked though is that despite the fact that you introduced a bunch of new characters (some of whom, being teen hotshots, give me Gundam vibes, although given your account name I guess that's to be expected), most of them don't feel bland or out of place.
I agree that each character has a unique style.
I made a concerted effort to attempt to capture that individuality of each character though for some of them it was difficult (especially for Tohdoh and Xingke who are quite similar in their demeanor, without their VAs they're practically the same character).

Quote:
You need to read (or read again) some of his short stories, like The Killers or Today is Friday.
Been a long time since I read The Killers but that one wasn't half bad.
I was thinking along the lines of A Farewell to Arms which I despised, and The Old Man and the Sea which seemed too much like a lonely version of Moby Dick to me. Way too much fishing.

Quote:
I guess that depends on who you define as great. Jules Verne, Arthur C. Clarke, Ray Bradbury, and Douglas Adams for instance were all pretty good when it came to dialogue.
Ah yes, Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles has got to be among my favorite Sci-Fi novels, and it has exceptional dialogue in it if I may say so.


Quote:
Thing is, how people really speak in real life is pretty god-awful boring. It's basically bland and uninspired most of the time - not something people generally look for in fiction. But at least you are making this choice consciously.
While I do agree with you to a certain extent, it's what most people relate to and thus among the most popular forms of speech found in modern literature.
Take Steven King's novels for example.
How many compare to Hemingway or Fitzgerald?

Quote:
The current length is already very impressive (in paperback I guess this would be around 350-500 pages as is) and I'm told you have a sequel planned, so I'm interested in seeing where this goes. Good luck!
Thanks.
DoD is 320 pages in Microsoft Word at 12 point, New Times Roman with standard boarders (1 inch all around).

Quote:
On another note, the amount of grammar mistakes is really high and it's quite distracting . If you have Word you could try running the text through it. It should catch many of these mistakes, since it's rather good at catching the very basic stuff. I would also suggest reading this, this, and this. Don't know if you're touchy about this - for many of us, English is not our native language, but we can learn from our mistakes.
Now you sound like my copyeditor.
She tells me constantly about my superfluous comas and misuse of the semicolon.
I'm notorious for this.
It's because as I envision the story like a movie I type it out.
Now, in what I write professionally I go over my stories at least four times to check for the kinds of mistakes that I know plague Dirge of Daedalus.
Thanks for the online quick-referrences BTW.
They'll come in handy and I appreciate that.
And I NEVER get touchy about constructive criticism.
Not only do I welcome it, but I need it to improve my writing skills and thus I thank you very much for taking the time to point out the mistakes.
It puts a smile on my face to know that people actually care about this story.

Quote:
You could also go through the early chapters one of these days and mass-replace Valletta with Villetta ;-).
I know, I know
I've heard this over and over again and at some point I'll have to go back and rewrite this whole story in Word to make it uniform.
I've actually got a copy of the Chicago Manual of Style, and Hodges' Harbrace Handbook right in front of me on my desk as I write this.
I'm a punkass I know.

Quote:
Oh, and your drawings of the KMF/ships kick ass! As does your version of an older Kallen.
Thank you.
Once the drawings are done, I will hopefully be able to go back and do a second draft of DoD (and probably a 3rd and 4th if I can to iron out the problems).
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Old 2010-01-19, 22:53   Link #978
GundamFan0083
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send me the sketch, and Im sure i can find one for u if i can.
Here's a thumb for you Kyero Fox.

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Old 2010-01-20, 06:38   Link #979
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Revenant is AWESOME .. srsly .. it's probably the one single thing in regards to R3 I could believe (as in a longer story) .. although it's more like a big OVA and that's good, cuz i cannot imagine a full R3 w/o Lelou and I would like him to stay dead

it and Megiddo still the hold the title of the 2 best CG fics for me (longer ones)

Sum of Our Choices is pretty good I think - there's a number of OCs and I do have a somewhat hard time keeping track of them, but it's not so bad .. and it details some about the inner workings of Britannia (and how Schneizel deals with it) and especially the EU - something which R2 really lacked
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Old 2010-01-20, 15:33   Link #980
Kyero Fox
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Originally Posted by GundamFan0083 View Post
Here's a thumb for you Kyero Fox.

fully bad ass I bet he has 1000 missles hiding in the legs. cant wait to see the karawasa
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