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Old 2010-05-31, 18:55   Link #25121
synaesthetic
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Why am I having mental images of Hayate as Dr. Breen up in the Citadel with her face on monitors all over City 17...

... and Nanoha as Gordon Freeman...

>.>;
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Old 2010-05-31, 19:25   Link #25122
Rising Dragon
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Oh, so I'm not the only one who was getting that kind of vibe?

Personally, though, Jail would make a rather bitchin' G-Man...
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Old 2010-05-31, 20:20   Link #25123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vic-vic View Post
Edited version of my early posted one-shot

Spoiler for OC warning:


Many thanks to 00-Riser for beta-reading.
Well I said what I thought earlier. It's pretty interesting to see something from a villain's POV as they plot a dastardly plan.

I would like to suggest adding some double spacing in the fic to make it look less like a block of text.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
And now for something completely different, a stand-alone story that's been rattling around in my brain for awhile:

MGLN: Future Tense
Chapter 1: Future Shock


Spoiler for Future Tense, Chapter 1: Future Shock:
Left some errors in the quote.

Cool to see you actually doing this, though this means I should hurry up with one of my own projects to preempt you on something you have planned for later

You did a good job on this chapter. You set things up with enough action and mystery to be quite engaging. I know I've seen similar plots (though it bugs me I can't think of specific examples >_<) but it'll be nice to see your take on it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
So, I'm kinda wondering what to work on. I'll probably through out the first chapters to G-Squad and Mirror soon, but I'm wondering what people would like to see me focus on. If you have a preference, let me know. I'm debating holding off on my Crisis continuations, since not everyone has had time to finish those series. It would give some catch-up time, although I'll write them eventually.
Personally I'd like to see either more of Death Note!Yuuno or that Midori no Hibi fic.
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Old 2010-05-31, 22:28   Link #25124
synaesthetic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Oh, so I'm not the only one who was getting that kind of vibe?

Personally, though, Jail would make a rather bitchin' G-Man...
It was mostly due to Hayate's speech on the monitors... so reminiscent of Breen, and the fact that the TSAB Ground Forces HQ looks just like the Citadel (albeit shorter) if all the other spires were taken away and the central one left alone...

So if Hayate is Dr. Breen and Nanoha is Gordon Freeman, I guess that makes Uno... Alyx Vance!

oh lawdy.

And YES JAIL WOULD BE THE G-MAN.
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Old 2010-06-01, 07:29   Link #25125
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post

You did a good job on this chapter. You set things up with enough action and mystery to be quite engaging. I know I've seen similar plots (though it bugs me I can't think of specific examples >_<) but it'll be nice to see your take on it.
Could you mean BetrayerS, perhaps? Anyway, great story Kaijo, I'm a fan .

P.S.: Hey..former lurker here, nice to meet ya.
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Old 2010-06-01, 10:09   Link #25126
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Left some errors in the quote.

Cool to see you actually doing this, though this means I should hurry up with one of my own projects to preempt you on something you have planned for later

You did a good job on this chapter. You set things up with enough action and mystery to be quite engaging. I know I've seen similar plots (though it bugs me I can't think of specific examples >_<) but it'll be nice to see your take on it.
Thanks for pointing out the errors! Preempt me on something, eh? And yeah, the general idea has probably been done, at least in other series and fandoms (character finding themselves in the future with no idea why), but I thought it would make an interesting clash between Nanoha's ideals and harsh reality.

It's interesting that people are pulling the half-life comparison; I think Nanya was the only one to actually get the partial reference to a Gargoyles episode. Well, not so much a reference, but I kinda had it mind when coming up with this. But don't think knowing that episode will tell you anything about what's happening here...

Quote:
Personally I'd like to see either more of Death Note!Yuuno or that Midori no Hibi fic.
Haha, the former I may get back to, but I'm not so sure about the latter. For some reason, it just doesn't strike me as interesting so much now, but we'll see. At the least, I won't get to them until after I finish this, G-Squad and Mirror.

@SilentOutlaw: Thanks! And welcome!
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Old 2010-06-01, 10:15   Link #25127
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I carefully wrapped a mass of eggs, bacon, ham, melted cheese, and scattered herbs with a warm tortilla, folding it slowly while glancing at Raising Heart's display of directions. Once done, I looked at the breakfast burrito with pride for only a few moments until it burst open and unfolded. My device tried to comfort my failed attempt and instantly swapped to another screen, showing me how to use a toothpick to keep it together. Although I had tried extra hard for Vivio's sake, I had simply cooked too much again. Oh well, better to pin it together than to have her make a mess of herself while trying to eat on the way to the fair grounds where the tournament would take place.

Current title in the works
By: Satashi


Story about Nanoha/Vivio having their first troubles as mother daughter. When a 13 year old Vivio gets a girlfriend and thinks she's old enough to run her own life. NAnoha has to deal with her daughter, Fate being away so much, and how she's back on active duty.
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Old 2010-06-01, 10:58   Link #25128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
I carefully wrapped a mass of eggs, bacon, ham, melted cheese, and scattered herbs with a warm tortilla, folding it slowly while glancing at Raising Heart's display of directions. Once done, I looked at the breakfast burrito with pride for only a few moments until it burst open and unfolded. My device tried to comfort my failed attempt and instantly swapped to another screen, showing me how to use a toothpick to keep it together. Although I had tried extra hard for Vivio's sake, I had simply cooked too much again. Oh well, better to pin it together than to have her make a mess of herself while trying to eat on the way to the fair grounds where the tournament would take place.

Current title in the works
By: Satashi


Story about Nanoha/Vivio having their first troubles as mother daughter. When a 13 year old Vivio gets a girlfriend and thinks she's old enough to run her own life. NAnoha has to deal with her daughter, Fate being away so much, and how she's back on active duty.
Do we need to send you a PM to read this because of the sex scenes, Satashi? Or will it be posted on FF.net with an M rating?
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Old 2010-06-01, 12:17   Link #25129
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Do we need to send you a PM to read this because of the sex scenes, Satashi? Or will it be posted on FF.net with an M rating?
I don't think this is the "xxx" fic Satashi referred some posts ago.
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Old 2010-06-01, 15:11   Link #25130
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Do we need to send you a PM to read this because of the sex scenes, Satashi? Or will it be posted on FF.net with an M rating?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
I don't think this is the "xxx" fic Satashi referred some posts ago.
It is the xxx fic :3 Fortunately, the scenes of sex can be taken out, so I may release a copy to the public if the person who commissioned it doesn't mind. If you do want a copy, you can PM me for it. It's almost done
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Old 2010-06-01, 15:42   Link #25131
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here's some fic!

I know a few of you have been waiting for this most impatiently. Here it is, Chapter 4 of false light, for your general consumption!

false light
a false light casts a darker Shadow...

Spoiler for Chapter 4:


Spoiler for author's notes:


Edit: Now also up on Fanfiction.net... right here.
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Old 2010-06-01, 16:01   Link #25132
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
If you do want a copy, you can PM me for it. It's almost done
Sure! Do want!
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Old 2010-06-01, 17:34   Link #25133
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentOutlaw View Post
Could you mean BetrayerS, perhaps? Anyway, great story Kaijo, I'm a fan .

P.S.: Hey..former lurker here, nice to meet ya.
Nah, BetrayerS had nothing to do went time dislocated clones...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
It's interesting that people are pulling the half-life comparison; I think Nanya was the only one to actually get the partial reference to a Gargoyles episode.
*Snaps fingers* That's what I was thinking of.
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Old 2010-06-01, 18:38   Link #25134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
I know a few of you have been waiting for this most impatiently. Here it is, Chapter 4 of false light, for your general consumption!

false light
a false light casts a darker Shadow...

Spoiler for Chapter 4:


Spoiler for author's notes:


Edit: Now also up on Fanfiction.net... right here.
Sheesh, enemies just seem to be popping up everywhere for Celica, hunting her hide. But hey, on the other hand, it moves the plot along!

Also, if I didn't have a policy against OC/CC shipping, I would totally ship Celica/Lutecia. But that requires me abandoning the ViCia and Victor/Celica ship.

Seriously, that made this whole chapter for me. I know there was a lot more going on, but seeing Lutecia and Celica interact, the way they bounced off each other, was so much fun. You can tell that beneath the barbs and coolness, Celica definitely considers Lutecia a friend.

Props also for having her call Lutecia by her first name, to show how emotionally worn she is. Though I doubt that will last long.
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Old 2010-06-01, 23:20   Link #25135
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Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
It is the xxx fic :3 Fortunately, the scenes of sex can be taken out, so I may release a copy to the public if the person who commissioned it doesn't mind. If you do want a copy, you can PM me for it. It's almost done
Are the sex scenes confined to Nanoha, Fate, Yuuno, Hayate, etc., or are Vivio and her generation involved?
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Old 2010-06-01, 23:57   Link #25136
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Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Are the sex scenes confined to Nanoha, Fate, Yuuno, Hayate, etc., or are Vivio and her generation involved?
From what I know, it's NanoFate and Vivio/Einhart. The sex pertains to those two pairings.
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Old 2010-06-02, 00:27   Link #25137
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This took me forever to get this done.

(Maybe I shouldn't be writing all those lemons that I've been writing this last month. )

Oh well...

Day in the Life

Chapter 36

Spoiler for Escape PT II:


Big, BIG thanks to Rising Dragon for being a pre-reader for me. And nixing a plot that really didn't need to be done.

Sorry this takes so long, I'm much slower writing when I write on my own.
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Old 2010-06-02, 07:01   Link #25138
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
From what I know, it's NanoFate and Vivio/Einhart. The sex pertains to those two pairings.
Ye gods! Didn't the intro just say Vivio was 13 years old!?
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Old 2010-06-02, 08:07   Link #25139
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
I know a few of you have been waiting for this most impatiently. Here it is, Chapter 4 of false light, for your general consumption!

false light
a false light casts a darker Shadow...

Spoiler for Chapter 4:


Spoiler for author's notes:


Edit: Now also up on Fanfiction.net... right here.
Is there anyone who's not in a conspiracy? I'm still waiting for the reveal that Vivio has been secretly an agent in the employ of an ancient Belkan sect who used hypnosis to make Scaglietti think he cloned her so she could use her big, sad eyes to eventually get adopted into a prominent TSAB family.

Celica and Lutecia's interactions were just golden, really. I've been waiting to see those two finally interact, and it did not disappoint. They may be odd friends, but it is obvious they really are closer than Celica in particular likes to publicly admit.

A sad lack of Naval Special Intelligence Service Agent Abraham Goddamn Steele (He must, in my mind, always be referred to by his full name and title. The 'Goddamn' may, if you wish, be replaced by any number of words. It's really only there for emphasis). But then, you can't him in every chapter. It would overload the story with badass.
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Old 2010-06-02, 09:39   Link #25140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
Ye gods! Didn't the intro just say Vivio was 13 years old!?
Yep, she's 13. But it was a request, from what I know, so Satashi didn't really have a say in how old the characters were.

EDIT: Pageclaim for requests!
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