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Old 2010-07-02, 09:39   Link #25781
JokerD
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There, it's done, still quite short but I'm not a long story kinda guy anyway, enjoy.

Spoiler for Thoughts at a Wedding:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


Spoiler for Omake:

Last edited by JokerD; 2010-07-02 at 10:08.
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Old 2010-07-02, 09:52   Link #25782
Nanya01
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@ Yasanagi D

@ Raiser Do what you want with it. I do like the story so far, so, at least, do continue it.
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Old 2010-07-02, 14:39   Link #25783
itanshi1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Future Tense

Chapter 8: Adrift


Previous chapters can be found here.

In which Nanoha runs into some people she knows, and we get a glimpse of what Fate is up to...

Spoiler for Future Tense, Chapter 8: Adrift:


Edit: Page claim for new chapters?
I'm rathewr enjoying following this, but I have a naggling tidbit

Spoiler for hmmmmm:
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Old 2010-07-02, 15:25   Link #25784
Nanya01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itanshi1 View Post
I'm rathewr enjoying following this, but I have a naggling tidbit

Spoiler for hmmmmm:
Yeah, they are. Wonders of modern medicine.

"60 is the new 35."
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Old 2010-07-02, 15:48   Link #25785
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Spoiler for A Certain Divided Force 3:


Part 1
Part 2
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Last edited by Yasanagi; 2010-07-03 at 11:54. Reason: Adding placeholder for previous parts
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Old 2010-07-02, 16:34   Link #25786
FlameSparkZ
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Hmm...kinda tough choice (Curiosity vs Einhart), but I'll go with A.
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Old 2010-07-02, 17:47   Link #25787
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I wanna see! I wanna see! So let's try B!

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Old 2010-07-02, 17:51   Link #25788
00-Raiser
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vic-vic View Post
@ 00-Raiser
Intresting chapter - it`s nice to see how Yuuno can get a shine for himself.
But i can`t get away from feeling, that something not right with Miyako, but maybe it`s just my imagination.
Well, keep going. Good luck.
... Poor Yuuno. A girl finally shows interest in him and people find her suspicious!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JokerD View Post
There, it's done, still quite short but I'm not a long story kinda guy anyway, enjoy.

Spoiler for Thoughts at a Wedding:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


Spoiler for Omake:
Well I liked it I can definitely see my influence in there ^^ Kinda sad for Nanoha but at the same time she's the one that missed what was right under her nose. That was the premise of the two fics you were inspired by: sometimes you don't realise what you have until you lose it.

@Yasanagi: I'll say A, since surely he'll open the gift anyways.
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Old 2010-07-02, 21:40   Link #25789
DezoPenguin
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It's time once again to bring you the search that's as elusive as canon confirmation of any Ace's romance,

~Fate-chan's Lost Title Hunt~

Spoiler for Mostly they chat with professor types:



Previously:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
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Old 2010-07-02, 21:41   Link #25790
JokerD
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Just a crackfic I came up with while thinking how to revise my previous one.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
After every 'befriending' mission by Nanoha:

“Are you sure about this Chief Librarian?”
“Ah don't worry, this is the fastest way to get rid of your trauma. Besides, Nanoha will be using very little power and my shield will be on full, so nothing should come through. I hope
Shivering a bit at the treatment that's about to start, “If you say so”

From up in the sky, the White Devil screamed,
“Starlight Breaker!”

Let the treatment begin...
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Origins of this is when I got hit by a car a month ago. Didn't get hurt or anything but I did fly back a meter before landing on my feet. Since then I've been wary of cars rolling along but not stopped yet when I about to cross the road. Maybe I need a similar treatment.


Anyway, @Yasanagi I'll go for A, girls before present, unless they tell you to open it first.

Last edited by JokerD; 2010-07-02 at 21:53.
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Old 2010-07-02, 22:20   Link #25791
Kaijo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itanshi1 View Post
I'm rathewr enjoying following this, but I have a naggling tidbit

Spoiler for hmmmmm:
As Nanya said, wonders of advanced mid-childa medical technology. ;p Precia was in her 60's, and lookin pretty good except for the cough of doom. Then there's Momoko, who still looks 20-30 even though she's... almost 50? Lindy has to be pushing it. Pretty much what I said in my notes, heh.

Still, if I had to do over, I'd probably make Nanoha's time skip 40 years instead of 50, just to ease the ages a bit.
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Old 2010-07-02, 23:51   Link #25792
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Just uploaded chapter 5, and now here's the next one!

The Location of Happiness chapter 6

Spoiler for LoH chapter 6:
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Old 2010-07-02, 23:57   Link #25793
vic-vic
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Quote:
... Poor Yuuno. A girl finally shows interest in him and people find her suspicious!
Paranoia ~desu.
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Old 2010-07-03, 01:21   Link #25794
yuiseppe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
It's time once again to bring you the search that's as elusive as canon confirmation of any Ace's romance,

~Fate-chan's Lost Title Hunt~

Spoiler for Mostly they chat with professor types:

While I felt this chapter was a bit slow, and the absent minded professor was a bit too obligatory (though it remains to be seen just how genuine the absent mindedness is), I really liked Fate's observations regarding RPGs and what people are capable of. They really bring out the contrast about her own person - still a child, but also very adult in other ways.

Perhaps I just dislike academic types in general (too many reminders of university life and exams) :P
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Old 2010-07-03, 01:32   Link #25795
itanshi1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
As Nanya said, wonders of advanced mid-childa medical technology. ;p Precia was in her 60's, and lookin pretty good except for the cough of doom. Then there's Momoko, who still looks 20-30 even though she's... almost 50? Lindy has to be pushing it. Pretty much what I said in my notes, heh.

Still, if I had to do over, I'd probably make Nanoha's time skip 40 years instead of 50, just to ease the ages a bit.
Yeah there is a threshold from they being unjaded and jaded. Even at 50 years, it feels weird to me. (they do feel like they are in their 30's maybe, so the weirdness is hard to pinpoint) I'm using a lot of suspension of disbelief reading it to be honest, but do keep at it. There's at least much for me to keep in mind since i do have one totalitarian conflict story in mind and another with many character deaths so I'm very much appreciating it from a few angles. Besides If i worked too hard critiquing it, i dunno. It might prove hard to fix. I'm quite fine enjoying it as you write it. Maybe let it sit for awhile and reread it. That helps me sometimes.
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Old 2010-07-03, 04:55   Link #25796
Nanya01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Just uploaded chapter 5, and now here's the next one!

The Location of Happiness chapter 6

Spoiler for LoH chapter 6:
Oi! Damn! Go Yuuno! Go save them. Fate, if you let him get hurt, I don't think that some people will ever forgive you!

Good job.

Quote:
Originally Posted by itanshi1 View Post
Yeah there is a threshold from they being unjaded and jaded. Even at 50 years, it feels weird to me. (they do feel like they are in their 30's maybe, so the weirdness is hard to pinpoint) I'm using a lot of suspension of disbelief reading it to be honest, but do keep at it. There's at least much for me to keep in mind since i do have one totalitarian conflict story in mind and another with many character deaths so I'm very much appreciating it from a few angles. Besides If i worked too hard critiquing it, i dunno. It might prove hard to fix. I'm quite fine enjoying it as you write it. Maybe let it sit for awhile and reread it. That helps me sometimes.
Well, there is technology like Nanotech that could be used to keep them young. Course, we don't know exactly what's been going on. I want to see what Vivio's been up to.

Edit: @ Yasanagi A from me as well.
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Last edited by Nanya01; 2010-07-03 at 05:09.
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Old 2010-07-03, 18:16   Link #25797
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
It's time once again to bring you the search that's as elusive as canon confirmation of any Ace's romance,

~Fate-chan's Lost Title Hunt~

Spoiler for Mostly they chat with professor types:



Previously:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Of course! The theft of the circlet was just a diversion; the thieves were really after the story's title all along!

A nice investigative chapter. It's looking like the Enforcer duo is starting to piece together what's actually going on and, unless I'm missing something, that would be that whoever stole or facilitated the theft of the artifact did so to make sure the Bureau would investigate... ominous. Particularly when our mystery man seems to be getting more and more lucid. Don't know what that signifies, but I'm willing to wager that him being in control of his faculties is probably worse than him being out of control.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter of That Story About Fate!
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Old 2010-07-03, 22:02   Link #25798
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Pretty uneventful day, so how about a new chapter!

Uploaded the previous one here with some added reference notes.

The Location of Happiness chapter 7

Spoiler for LoH chapter 6:


Spoiler for notes:
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Old 2010-07-04, 01:06   Link #25799
vic-vic
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Quote:
Pretty uneventful day, so how about a new chapter!

Uploaded the previous one here with some added reference notes.

The Location of Happiness chapter 7
Oh, poor Yuuno, he just can`t take break.

But i want encourage author to keep going - it`s not your skill fault that we can sense some lines, it`s just result of wathing countless films and reaidng many sciense fiction novels.

Overral, i like this story, hope for good ending for Yuuno.

Good luck.
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Old 2010-07-04, 01:26   Link #25800
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Spoiler for notes:
Eh, don't worry about it. Someone is always going to get every plot twist. I can't even remember the last time that at least one person didn't call a major plot event of mine before it happened. The only thing to be done is try to put your own spin on the twist and use it well.

Or, well, you can wait until after they guess correctly and then change the twist at the last minute when you're writing it. Hey, you're supposed to entertain the readers, nobody ever said you have to be nice to them.

EDIT: Pageclaim for screwing with your readers' minds!
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