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Old 2010-10-15, 18:26   Link #27421
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I r in ur Shadowverse, writing ur AUz.

...

Wait, what?

Spoiler for Left Unsaid:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


It Only Hurts
Curiosity Killed
Interesting story, it shows the reactions of the parents, now friends, of children who are now not dating anymore. I really liked how it showed that routine is something that is never notable when kept, but very jarring when broken.

I wonder how the Shadows-verse would have evolved from this ending? Would Lutecia, Caro and Erio have run into their own problems together, not in the romantic sense but as friends (as in, Lutecia relying on them for support but possibly not getting the kind that she needs?).

Anyways, nice story ^^.
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Old 2010-10-16, 14:41   Link #27422
deathcurse
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Sorry for the double-postage! But I bring update!

What secrets are the Gallants hiding? What's Raven's side of the story? And who's really lying?

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 10: Trial Day 2


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, Part 10: Trial Day 2:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
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Old 2010-10-16, 16:29   Link #27423
vic-vic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry for the double-postage! But I bring update!

What secrets are the Gallants hiding? What's Raven's side of the story? And who's really lying?

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 10: Trial Day 2


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, Part 10: Trial Day 2:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Poor Raven, she became a toll in the adults` games. And i agree with Nanoha here - TSAB repeating about serving justice, but they oftenky resort to morally ambiguous methods.

I have feeling that not Auris nor Hayate will not happy in the end of the story.
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Old 2010-10-16, 18:11   Link #27424
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry for the double-postage! But I bring update!

What secrets are the Gallants hiding? What's Raven's side of the story? And who's really lying?

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 10: Trial Day 2


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, Part 10: Trial Day 2:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Well, certainly no easy answers here, are there?

Raven continues to be an interesting little challenge. I still honestly don't feel very much sympathy for her, if only because in my mind "killing a possibly innocent Shadow in cold blood because he killed Mommy and Daddy" isn't much of an excuse, especially since she holds no remorse over it. Granted, I guess she wouldn't feel remorseful because she wanted to avenge her parents, but I have to admit I'm more on Auris's side right now. I want justice for the fallen. It's sad that Raven saw what she did and lost her parents the way she did, but it doesn't justify what she did, even if the agent himself was questionable.
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Old 2010-10-17, 08:46   Link #27425
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New Material Days chapter uploaded here with only one new interlude scene featuring Shamal and Zafira.
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Old 2010-10-17, 10:37   Link #27426
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10 minutes. No beta. Complaints go to the OCC department. Damn it, OCC.

Spoiler for Face Hug:
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Old 2010-10-17, 10:40   Link #27427
Keroko
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Last edited by Keroko; 2010-10-17 at 10:57.
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Old 2010-10-17, 11:01   Link #27428
Tiresias
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
10 minutes. No beta. Complaints go to the OCC department. Damn it, OCC.

Spoiler for Face Hug:
Yikes, Alien!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
New Material Days chapter uploaded here with only one new interlude scene featuring Shamal and Zafira.
I've been meaning to ask this, but at the end of this chapter, did L actually consummate? Nothing against it or such, just curious
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Old 2010-10-17, 11:16   Link #27429
Nanya01
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Originally Posted by Tiresias View Post
I've been meaning to ask this, but at the end of this chapter, did L actually consummate? Nothing against it or such, just curious
Yes. Yes she did.

It's because of her and Yami doing that... It caused a shitstorm over here and I nearly quit writing on the story (I did for awhile) because of it.
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Old 2010-10-17, 11:18   Link #27430
Sheba
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Originally Posted by Tiresias View Post
Yikes, Alien!

And it all started because someone mentioned a blogger comparing Vivio to a parasite latching onto Nanoha like a facehugger.
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Old 2010-10-17, 12:07   Link #27431
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
10 minutes. No beta. Complaints go to the OCC department. Damn it, OCC.

Spoiler for Face Hug:
Well, I didn't really need to sleep tonight, anyway....
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Old 2010-10-17, 12:16   Link #27432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
10 minutes. No beta. Complaints go to the OCC department. Damn it, OCC.

Spoiler for Face Hug:
GAH!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Yes. Yes she did.

It's because of her and Yami doing that... It caused a shitstorm over here and I nearly quit writing on the story (I did for awhile) because of it.
As I recall, the problem wasn't that they 'consumated' but that Yuuno didn't seem to care. So it was fixed by having Yami screw with his brain. Which made it... er... worse but in a better way? I don't know, it's kind of a complex situation...
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Old 2010-10-17, 12:41   Link #27433
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Yes. Yes she did.

It's because of her and Yami doing that... It caused a shitstorm over here and I nearly quit writing on the story (I did for awhile) because of it.
You're overexaggering it again. That was nowhere near being shitstorm levels. There was problems with the way you went about it, and we were merely giving you feedback on it. Even though you didn't listen to us and included it anyways, you did at least modify it so it wasn't an issue anymore.

I honestly don't know why you were so hell bent on including sex in the story, especially when at first it had absolutely no relevance, resulted in blatant OOCness, and overall just cheapened the story. Sex isn't one of those things you can just toss in for the lulz in this sort of story.

But now that Yasanagi has saved his story by changing the way he handled it like he did, it isn't an issue anymore. There's no reason to hold a grudge, Nanya.

Oh, and L didn't 'consumate', she outright raped him.
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Old 2010-10-17, 13:57   Link #27434
shiroi mahotsukai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
You're overexaggering it again. That was nowhere near being shitstorm levels. There was problems with the way you went about it, and we were merely giving you feedback on it. Even though you didn't listen to us and included it anyways, you did at least modify it so it wasn't an issue anymore.

I honestly don't know why you were so hell bent on including sex in the story, especially when at first it had absolutely no relevance, resulted in blatant OOCness, and overall just cheapened the story. Sex isn't one of those things you can just toss in for the lulz in this sort of story.

But now that Yasanagi has saved his story by changing the way he handled it like he did, it isn't an issue anymore. There's no reason to hold a grudge, Nanya.

Oh, and L didn't 'consumate', she outright raped him.
I completly forgot she did that (how I don't know). Another step towards the Moral Event Horizon, It's going to take a lot of work to humanize those three, they're showing themselves to be selfish monsters at the moment. I'm probably overexagerating but y'know.
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Old 2010-10-17, 14:04   Link #27435
Justin_Brett
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Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
10 minutes. No beta. Complaints go to the OCC department. Damn it, OCC.

Spoiler for Face Hug:
...why would...

...why
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Old 2010-10-17, 18:28   Link #27436
deathcurse
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@vic-vic: No, I don't believe that either Auris or Hayate will be entirely happy with the ending! And it seems like fandom has made the TSAB quite an ambiguous and slightly corrupt organization....

@RadiantBeam: It's interesting, how normally I believe that most people would be sympathetic to Raven, since she's this poor girl who lost her family...it must mean that I'm doing things both wrong and right, to make the readers demonize Auris and Hayate , but yet also condemn Raven...

And now for other news: Something nice for people who were waiting on the cliffhanger last chapter ...

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Spoiler for A Familiar Life... Chapter 5:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
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Old 2010-10-17, 18:37   Link #27437
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
@vic-vic: No, I don't believe that either Auris or Hayate will be entirely happy with the ending! And it seems like fandom has made the TSAB quite an ambiguous and slightly corrupt organization....

@RadiantBeam: It's interesting, how normally I believe that most people would be sympathetic to Raven, since she's this poor girl who lost her family...it must mean that I'm doing things both wrong and right, to make the readers demonize Auris and Hayate , but yet also condemn Raven...

And now for other news: Something nice for people who were waiting on the cliffhanger last chapter ...

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Spoiler for A Familiar Life... Chapter 5:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Just saying, if Arf dies because of this, I kick Fate's ass.

I do remember you mentioning at one point that you wanted to work in a Precia/Fate similarity, and you did quite an excellent job here. Really, it almost made me cry and give the poor kid a hug, because she's so torn up about it inside.

I do want to argue, though, that Fate's reasoning is slightly flawed; most likely because her emotions are out of whack over the situation, but the Nanoha she brought back, at her core, is no different from the Nanoha that died. I just think it's kind of unfair of her to make that comparison when you consider the kind of situation Nanoha is in; it's not like she's notably different from the Nanoha that died (unlike Fate, who as we know was blatantly different from Alicia), it's just that her whole world has been turned upside down by what Fate did. So, I do seem some flaw in Fate's logic there, but then again, I doubt Fate is really thinking logically right now.
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Old 2010-10-17, 18:50   Link #27438
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
@vic-vic: No, I don't believe that either Auris or Hayate will be entirely happy with the ending! And it seems like fandom has made the TSAB quite an ambiguous and slightly corrupt organization....

@RadiantBeam: It's interesting, how normally I believe that most people would be sympathetic to Raven, since she's this poor girl who lost her family...it must mean that I'm doing things both wrong and right, to make the readers demonize Auris and Hayate , but yet also condemn Raven...

And now for other news: Something nice for people who were waiting on the cliffhanger last chapter ...

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Spoiler for A Familiar Life... Chapter 5:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Of course Fate won't be exactly like Precia until she starts whipping Nanoha.
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Old 2010-10-17, 18:56   Link #27439
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
@vic-vic: No, I don't believe that either Auris or Hayate will be entirely happy with the ending! And it seems like fandom has made the TSAB quite an ambiguous and slightly corrupt organization....

@RadiantBeam: It's interesting, how normally I believe that most people would be sympathetic to Raven, since she's this poor girl who lost her family...it must mean that I'm doing things both wrong and right, to make the readers demonize Auris and Hayate , but yet also condemn Raven...

And now for other news: Something nice for people who were waiting on the cliffhanger last chapter ...

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Spoiler for A Familiar Life... Chapter 5:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Aw, poor Fate... well, don't worry sweetie. Until you start trying to use your current Nanoha to get back a 'correct' Nanoha and torturing her for failure, you're not your mother. Plus, she sorta did get back the right Nanoha, just one who's angry and confused, but I doubt Fate has the presence of mind to recognize that at the moment.
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Old 2010-10-17, 19:06   Link #27440
shiroi mahotsukai
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Curse all of you, now I have a disturbing mental image. Good chapter though, if Fate becomes the same as Precia does that mean she will meet the same end? That would be really sad (although admittedly less so if she starts torturing people).

PS: Sicne it was Fate, it was a yellow electro-whip.
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