Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Oh yes, finally! Posted a comment on FF, awesome chapter as always. Title reminded me of Gilgamesh, though (yes, I'm aware of the Sumerian reference)

PS: Did I guess right? Or at least close enough?

Heh. Well, Al-Hazard has more to do with their backstory than anything that's actually going to happen in the future... but yes, things are of course going to get screwed up.

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

Long, painful list of corrections.

*Sob* Back to the grind, then...

That's only if your ship was designed like a sphere, with the AG source at the core. That's a good design, avoids boundary problems that other designs with AG would have. I'm not sure if Bureau ships are designed that way though.

Well... luckily we have no idea how TSAB ships are designed at all beyond how they look and a few systems they have. So I'm totally free to say 'it works that way because magic' and nobody can definitively prove me wrong.

Stunning chapter. But, like I said, how are you going to top this one in the future? And if you do, dealing with the Doctor will seem like a vacation for Nanoha and company by the time Strikers rolls around.

Oh, I have my ways. I. Have. Plans. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

And to be frank, I found Scaglietti and the Numbers to be underwhelming villains anyway, so I have no real problem with topping them, either.

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Well... luckily we have no idea how TSAB ships are designed at all beyond how they look and a few systems they have. So I'm totally free to say 'it works that way because magic' and nobody can definitively prove me wrong.

Not totally free. There are a few clues from the interiors of ships that we can see. One, the decks are flat not curved as if they were the surface of a sphere. While it is possible to arrange flat decks around a "core," those decks would have to be relatively small in surface area. Otherwise, it would appear as if you're walking up an incline near the outer areas of the deck.
Two, TSAB ships can fly around planetside. This could... cause problems if the ship's habitable space was a sphere with part of its "up" pointed towards the surface of the planet.

[Moczo]

Ah-hem.

You must have mis-read me.

I didn't say 'it works because the ship is spherical and logically an AG system like the one I described requires a spherical design'. We do know what the ships look like, after all, and they're clearly not spheres.

I said, 'it works because magic'. A wizard did it. He used magic, and gravity happened.

... have I sufficiently shown that my grasp of hard Sci-fi is nonexistent and I actually just included that passage as an offhanded joke?

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Ah-hem.

You must have mis-read me.

I didn't say 'it works because the ship is spherical and logically an AG system like the one I described requires a spherical design'. We do know what the ships look like, after all, and they're clearly not spheres.

I said, 'it works because magic'. A wizard did it. He used magic, and gravity happened.

... have I sufficiently shown that my grasp of hard Sci-fi is nonexistent and I actually just included that passage as an offhanded joke?

Now that I thought about it,

It doesn't pull you 'down', it pulls you 'towards the center of the ship'

would imply that everything were drawn towards the center of the ship instead of the bottom like always shown...

[Moczo]

*Sigh* Good point. I shall go change that.

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

As a side comment, part of the reason I didn't review those on FF.net was (at least as far as I remember) because I had already commented on them here in the thread, so not only did I not know what to say, but I hated thinking that I was repeating itself. But fair enough, I suppose. Everyone has different opinion on these things.

On the issue of copy/pasting reviews from AS to fanfiction.net (or from beta-reading copy to public forum), I tend to support doing it, and do it myself (like with that one Erio/Lutecia short of Raiser's I liked, or deathcurse's GrimGrimoire fics). The way I see it, my original review was for the benefit of the author, while in essence when I repost a review to fanfiction.net, I'm posting for the benefit of potential readers: essentially, reviews there serve a secondary function as advertising for a fic--which, y'know, is what the word review actually implies (for example, when I see a fic I'm curious about, I'll generally click on the reviews first, and if every single review is a one-liner from somebody with craptacular spelling and incoherent commentary, I'll probably pass that fic by, but if I see a bunch of other people have written coherent or interesting reviews, I'll probably give it a shot).

Originally Posted by deathcurse

I'm sorry that I don't follow it (yet) , but I'm sure it's AWESOME anyways!

It is. There's quite a high concentration of awesome. And funny. Often simultaneously.

I find that I'm iffy on the "I liked it. Please update" reviews...I admit, it's nice to get even those, but at the same time I'd rather have 5 people read a story of mine and really engage with the story and have at least one interpretive comment, than have 100 people read it mindlessly . But that's just me!

Can we get both?

Your review recipients appreciate the half-hour to an hour reviews . Of course, then it's a half-hour to an hour to respond to your review ....but worth the time, every time!

...and then I end up sucked into PM threads where every post is of similar length, one for every chapter I review.

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Well, at least no one hates me for liking him Vice gets treated fairly well.

SubaTea shippers tend to be relatively sane...by comparison. Especially now that we all know Subaru's going to be just another one of Thoma's haremettes.

Originally Posted by Moczo

*Sob* Back to the grind, then...

Er...you might also want to review the inconsistent capitalization of Arc-en-Ciel throughout the scene on the Black Cats' ship.

And to be frank, I found Scaglietti and the Numbers to be underwhelming villains anyway, so I have no real problem with topping them, either.

And apparently co-opting Jail into your plot to inflate his whelm-ness.

[Justin_Brett]

Awesome as always, Mozco.

...is it bad if I kinda cheered at the end of the chapter? Those three have probably EARNED some payback by now, all things considered.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

Er...you might also want to review the inconsistent capitalization of Arc-en-Ciel throughout the scene on the Black Cats' ship.

*Breaks down crying*

And apparently co-opting Jail into your plot to inflate his whelm-ness.

He's not going to get much screentime, but I'm looking forward to what he does get. I might not have thought too much of his threat as a villain, but I really enjoyed his personality and I fully intend to ham it up big time.

Originally Posted by Justin_Brett

Awesome as always, Mozco.

...is it bad if I kinda cheered at the end of the chapter? Those three have probably EARNED some payback by now, all things considered.

Hey, go ahead. Just means I managed to make the villains likable, and considering they're my OCs that makes me quite happy!

[SNobleJr]

Originally Posted by Moczo

*Breaks down crying*

Hey, no worries, man. Mistakes slip in sometimes, it happens to everyone.

Originally Posted by Moczo

He's not going to get much screentime, but I'm looking forward to what he does get. I might not have thought too much of his threat as a villain, but I really enjoyed his personality and I fully intend to ham it up big time. :D

Hammy, bombastic Jail? I approve.

Originally Posted by Moczo

Hey, go ahead. Just means I managed to make the villains likable, and considering they're my OCs that makes me quite happy!

Yeah, they're some of the better OCs I've seen. Susanoo in particular is a big, lovable oaf.

Spoiler for About the chapter...:

...Nanoha & co. are screwed, aren't they? I'm kinda curious how they'll wriggle out of this one to set the timeline mostly back on track. Or hell, if this ends up turning into a massive AU and goes into a wholly different direction than StrikerS did.

Can't really think of anything else specific to say. But anyway, the action is ramping up to even more awesome levels, and I still love the character interactions.

[Justin_Brett]

I've kinda been expecting

Spoiler:

SUDDENLY, AL-HAZARDI

since they were first brought up, especially since the prospect of them showing up would be disastrous even with the Gods at full power...like right now.

[Nanya01]

Posted up Hot Tub 2 on FF.Net

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Justin_Brett

I've kinda been expecting

Spoiler:

SUDDENLY, AL-HAZARDI

since they were first brought up, especially since the prospect of them showing up would be disastrous even with the Gods at full power...like right now.

See? I'm not the only one who noticed this

Originally Posted by Moczo

*Breaks down crying*

Umm, right. Before you start crying again, I'll inform you that this one is probably just me not understanding some parts:

Spoiler for from chapter 26:

"It was a signal for the Mercury to commence operations under Commodore Bentz. A specially prepared field team to take the last Cyborg as intact as possible." Admiral Mizetto said calmly. "I felt reinforcements were prudent, and thus made some... preparations."

Talia Aston's jaw dropped. "You have a backdoor into the systems too. You overrode the corrupted programs?"

"I have been around for some time, dear. I picked up a few tricks. I'm the chief of staff, burying some helpful code into a few personnel files was not terribly difficult."

Spoiler for Comment:

This implies (at least for me) that Mizetto had also buried the back door long ago. But if the secret signal translates as "tell Commodore Bentz to commence operation", would it mean that Bentz had been on stand by ever since the code was made?

Or is there some finer details of the cheat code that I've yet to understand?

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Spoiler for Comment:

This implies (at least for me) that Mizetto had also buried the back door long ago. But if the secret signal translates as "tell Commodore Bentz to commence operation", would it mean that Bentz had been on stand by ever since the code was made?

Or is there some finer details of the cheat code that I've yet to understand?

Spoiler for Reply:

More like she is, in a way, the 'legitimate' Section Black. She has almost unrestricted access to everything, answers only to the Bureau heads, and setting up such a 'cheat code' is actually very simple for her. Nor is it, honestly, the only such one she has. She didn't get to be as old as she is without being prepared for emergencies. .

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Spoiler for Reply:

More like she is, in a way, the 'legitimate' Section Black. She has almost unrestricted access to everything, answers only to the Bureau heads, and setting up such a 'cheat code' is actually very simple for her. Nor is it, honestly, the only such one she has. She didn't get to be as old as she is without being prepared for emergencies. .

Spoiler for Apparently this discussion is contained in spoilers?:

And it's also entirely possible that she changes what various codes mean at various times. Like, before this mission started, she deployed the Commodore with the order, "if you get this signal, then move in and do that." The signals themselves could have been planted earlier.

...and there's either a typo in Talia's last name in that excerpt, or earlier in the chapter where it's "Ashton." Come to think of it, wouldn't "Aston" be right, from Aston-Martin?

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

...and there's either a typo in Talia's last name in that excerpt, or earlier in the chapter where it's "Ashton." Come to think of it, wouldn't "Aston" be right, from Aston-Martin?
[/SPOILER]

Spoiler for Because Spoilers Are Fun!:

Yes, Aston is correct. Aston-Martin, as in James Bond. I thought it appropriate for a spy . I'll go check now to see if that typo is in the story itself.

This isn't even a spoiler. I just didn't want to break the Super Spoiler Streak.

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

Spoiler for Apparently this discussion is contained in spoilers?:

Like, before this mission started, she deployed the Commodore with the order, "if you get this signal, then move in and do that." The signals themselves could have been planted earlier.

Spoiler for Spoiler? In my Animesuki?:

Somehow that reminded me of this movie:
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. Remember <INSERT NAME HERE>, miles to go before you sleep."

Except there's no brainwashing involved...right?

And don't blame me for the spoilers, I think Justin's the first one to use it to comment chapter 26

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Spoiler for Spoiler? In my Animesuki?:

Somehow that reminded me of this movie:
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. Remember <INSERT NAME HERE>, miles to go before you sleep."

Except there's no brainwashing involved...right?

Spoiler for Because We're on a roll. A spoileroll.:

"Enforcer Harlaown. Enforcer Fate Harlaown. Fate Testarossa Harlaown."

... Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference.

[Nanya01]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Spoiler for Because We're on a roll. A spoileroll.:

"Enforcer Harlaown. Enforcer Fate Harlaown. Fate Testarossa Harlaown."

... Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference.

Spoiler for Can I play too?:

James Bond 007?

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Spoiler for Can I play too?:

James Bond 007?

Spoiler for Sure, it's fun for the whole family.:

Hmmmm... you're in the neighborhood. Spies are involved, yes, but darker. Also, think 'mind control'.

[Nagumo]

Originally Posted by Moczo

Spoiler for Sure, it's fun for the whole family.:

Hmmmm... you're in the neighborhood. Spies are involved, yes, but darker. Also, think 'mind control'.

Spoiler for I know nothing of spies...:

Manchurian Candidate?