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Old 2010-10-30, 12:00   Link #27621
vic-vic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
Spoiler for More MD!:
Poor Yuuno, he can`t take a break out of Materal`s weirdness.
But Yami thought show IMHO that she at last have a thing for Yuuno.
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Old 2010-10-30, 12:18   Link #27622
Nitramy
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Twin Fates chapter 5 is up~

...hope you guys don't mind me giving Nanoha even a little background in her family's techniques.
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Old 2010-10-30, 15:02   Link #27623
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
Spoiler for More MD!:
Another good chapter. It's nice to see Yami starting to show some remorse, although obviously all three of them have a LOT to discuss with Yuuno. They, well... did kind of kill some folks.
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Old 2010-10-30, 15:39   Link #27624
yuiseppe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Huzzah, procrastination! I do that. A lot. Just look at my horrible, horrible track of updates...
*looks at horrible track of updates*

Indeed!

Obviously I myself got around to a fair bit of procrastination, but this was inspired by you:

Spoiler for A half windsor:
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Old 2010-10-30, 18:23   Link #27625
SNobleJr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
Spoiler for More MD!:
Heh. The punchline had me chuckling for a while.

Also, the tension's really building now; I'm getting rather curious about how the eventual confrontation between Yuuno and Material-D is gonna go down.
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Old 2010-10-30, 18:35   Link #27626
Diamonds Dream
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Post Hi!

Hi! I thought I'd join in with a little something that's bean bugging me for some time now, it'll give me something to do well I wait for the next chapter of Future Tense.

As a note, boys might not want to read this.


Spoiler for Time of the Month:


Well, that didn't turn out like I expected, for one thing it was supposed to be longer, and the plot was different. Doesn't matter though, it was great to get that plot bunny off my chest.

Last edited by Diamonds Dream; 2010-10-30 at 19:20. Reason: fixing some mistakes
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Old 2010-10-30, 18:50   Link #27627
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
*looks at horrible track of updates*

Indeed!

Obviously I myself got around to a fair bit of procrastination, but this was inspired by you:

Spoiler for A half windsor:
Yes, it's a horrible track. A very, very horrible track. Also, huzzah, I inspire fanart!

It looks awesome. And really, I actually love Lulu's expression there; I always imagined her either blanking out or freezing up when Vivio flirted with her like that, so I thought it fit her. ^^ Thank you very much!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diamonds Dream View Post
Hi! I thought I'd join in with a little something that's bean bugging me for some time now, it'll give me something to do well I wait for the next chapter of Future Tense.

As a note, boys might not want to read this.


Spoiler for Time of the Month:


Well, that didn't turn out like I expected, for one thing it was supposed to be longer, and the plot was different. Doesn't matter though, it was great to get that plot bunny off my chest.
Oh, ouchies, first one. I remember that. Not especially fondly. I didn't exactly panic since I knew it was coming, but I still got a little scared and called for my mom. My sister thought I was dying.
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Old 2010-10-30, 19:11   Link #27628
Diamonds Dream
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Oh, ouchies, first one. I remember that. Not especially fondly. I didn't exactly panic since I knew it was coming, but I still got a little scared and called for my mom. My sister thought I was dying.
Yeah. Though my first one really wasn't that bad, just embarrassing.
Also, glad you liked the fic.
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Old 2010-10-30, 20:35   Link #27629
deathcurse
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@Diamonds Dream: If it wasn't for the title, I would have thought that Fate was dying bloodily or something! The tone leading up to that last sentence really gave off this ominous air .

A rough update...Fate's testimony and the end of Trial Day 2. Looks like things aren't going so well between the three Aces...

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 11: Trial Day 2 end


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, part 11: Trial Day 2 end:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Part 10: Trial Day 2

Sadly, this will likely be my last update before NaNo swallows me alive!

Last edited by deathcurse; 2010-10-30 at 21:54. Reason: Took a word out on 00-Raiser's suggestion ^^
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Old 2010-10-30, 20:40   Link #27630
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
@Diamonds Dream: If it wasn't for the title, I would have thought that Fate was dying bloodily or something! The tone leading up to that last sentence really gave off this ominous air .

A rough update...Fate's testimony and the end of Trial Day 2. Looks like things aren't going so well between the three Aces...

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 11: Trial Day 2 end


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, part 11: Trial Day 2 end:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Part 10: Trial Day 2

Sadly, this will likely be my last update before NaNo swallows me alive!
...

Major ouchies all around here, on? I mean... ouch. I admit to having been a little disenchanted with NanoFate recently, but damn if Hayate doesn't know how to hit where it hurts.

... Also, I think it says something when my imagination takes the Hayate/Nanoha confrontation and somehow turns it into a Vivio/Nanoha confrontation in the main Shadow storyline. Oi.
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Old 2010-10-30, 20:50   Link #27631
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
...

Major ouchies all around here, on? I mean... ouch. I admit to having been a little disenchanted with NanoFate recently, but damn if Hayate doesn't know how to hit where it hurts.

... Also, I think it says something when my imagination takes the Hayate/Nanoha confrontation and somehow turns it into a Vivio/Nanoha confrontation in the main Shadow storyline. Oi.
Yeah, Dezo slipped the idea into my head about how Nanoha may see things differently if Fate had been the murdered undercover officer, and I just had to put that in somewhere . And I couldn't resist having Hayate deliver that jab also .....is that cruel of me?

Disenchanted with NanoFate recently? =O Do you mean in Crime Never Sleeps, or in the general fandom?

*Already feeling pity for Nanoha in the main Shadow storyline....*
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Old 2010-10-30, 21:07   Link #27632
00-Raiser
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Not following your fic, deathcurse, but RB's comments made me curious and I took a quick look. One line jumped out of me:

Quote:
She barely heard the rest of Hayate’s persuasive argument,
This is a text book case of telling rather than showing. You shouldn't just say that Hayate's argument was persuasive, you have to back it up. I suggest describing how "the jurors hung onto her every word" or how "the defense wiped the sweat from his brow."
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Old 2010-10-30, 21:26   Link #27633
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Not following your fic, deathcurse, but RB's comments made me curious and I took a quick look. One line jumped out of me:

This is a text book case of telling rather than showing. You shouldn't just say that Hayate's argument was persuasive, you have to back it up. I suggest describing how "the jurors hung onto her every word" or how "the defense wiped the sweat from his brow."
Thanks for pointing that out, but I did have a reason for telling there instead of showing; the entirety of the Trial Days are all about showing Hayate's persuasive arguments, and that specific section there was less about Hayate's powers of persuasive argument, but about how she absolutely stuck a knife in Fate's weak spot--and twisted . The section there is about Fate's reaction to Hayate's comment, not about Hayate's argument itself. Hopefully after all the previous cross-examinations, the readers would already be shown/convinced about Hayate's skills. I was trying to change tacks there and show that not only is Hayate seeming to compromise her morals in the story, but that she's also willing to be ruthless towards her friends to get her point across .

I may take out the word "persuasive" in the final version, to maybe take attention away from the fact that Hayate is making an argument there, so that readers will see that it's more about Fate's reaction to Hayate's backstabbing? I'll think about it, thanks ^^.
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Old 2010-10-30, 21:32   Link #27634
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
*looks at horrible track of updates*

Indeed!

Obviously I myself got around to a fair bit of procrastination, but this was inspired by you:

Spoiler for A half windsor:
I would like to note that, regardless of one's opinion of Lulu's expression...Vivio's expression is made of "rrrowr!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 11: Trial Day 2 end


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Sadly, this will likely be my last update before NaNo swallows me alive!
Argh! I haven't even reviewed Part 10 yet! *headdesk* (Read eagerly yes, reviewed no) Thank heavens for NaNoWriMo...which gives me the chance to catch up on my reviews for the fics written by all you people who are doing it!
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Old 2010-10-30, 21:34   Link #27635
Diamonds Dream
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Challenge!

N/A Not available.

Last edited by Diamonds Dream; 2010-11-15 at 23:39.
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Old 2010-10-30, 21:52   Link #27636
00-Raiser
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
I may take out the word "persuasive" in the final version
Yeah, I'd do that because...

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Hopefully after all the previous cross-examinations, the readers would already be shown/convinced about Hayate's skills.
If you've already established that her arguments are persuasive, then your readers already know this and you don't need to remind them.
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Old 2010-10-30, 21:56   Link #27637
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Argh! I haven't even reviewed Part 10 yet! *headdesk* (Read eagerly yes, reviewed no) Thank heavens for NaNoWriMo...which gives me the chance to catch up on my reviews for the fics written by all you people who are doing it!
Hahaha, well, then you get to review the full Trial Day 2 all at once, rather than in bits and pieces! LOL, are you sure? Sure we can't tempt you into joining us for NaNoWriMo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Yeah, I'd do that because...

If you've already established that her arguments are persuasive, then your readers already know this and you don't need to remind them.
Good point--edited!
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Old 2010-10-30, 22:07   Link #27638
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
I]Vivio's[/I] expression is made of "rrrowr!"
...

That line just gave me so many ideas about the potential build-up I could use for when Vivio finally turns eighteen.
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Old 2010-10-31, 01:02   Link #27639
Diamonds Dream
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Was surfing around when I found this:
http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...133#post708133
Anyone up for some Fate X Arf?

Last edited by Diamonds Dream; 2010-11-15 at 23:38.
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Old 2010-10-31, 10:44   Link #27640
Kaijo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diamonds Dream View Post
So here it is, an open challenge (or two) that I am putting here because I will probably never get to Writing the ideas.

Spoiler for I can't think of what to call this challenge:

There are two ways you could do this:
1:Write both.
2:Write one.
Or you could take a third option and combine them into one fic. Yeah, that's it.
The rules are pretty simple, just credit me and follow the timelines given in the above challenges, you'll be fine. Also, no character bashing.
Oh yeah, I prefer NanoFate or YuuNanoFate (my OT3) when it comes to shipping the titular character. Please and thank you!
Well, you win points from me for Stargate references, heh (I tend to include them in fics I write). But I've pretty much got my hands full with the stuff I'm writing at the moment (I have 2-3 fics on hold, as well as a scattering of half-finished crack fics).

In general, most of the writers here are people are like that, so it's not likely that challenges get answered, although it does happen. Your better bet is to focus on writing something, as the more information you give, the more likely someone is to take you up on it. The shorter the fic, the more likely someone will write something.

Good luck.^^
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