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Old 2010-11-07, 23:18   Link #27781
DezoPenguin
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Yaris! Glad to see her back in action!
I love my OCs...and since "Echoes" takes place well before StrikerS, she exists in "canon-based" fics as well as both established AUs ("Steel Queen Chronicle" and Shadowverse) that I write.

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Something I noticed, though, is that you seem to be implying that she's younger than her age from Sunset on... now I'm curious if you chose to do that for any particular reason!
That is...

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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
I absolutely loved Lutecia's entrance . (Those were really young gangsters, if they're younger than Lutecia's 19-20?) I like how you set the story (presumably) before the whole Sunset arc, since it's always nice to see Lutecia during her "prime of her career" stage , as the story will be full of that action and secrecy that isn't present in RB's later storyline (as most of RB's stories post-Shadow/Sunset are more emotional/psychological stories).
Edit: Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Pageclaim for Lutecia, in all her canon and fanon incarnations!

...Yep; I wanted to do a story with Lutecia on a field mission. I can't set that post-"Shadow" because she's in breakdown mode and RB hasn't yet set what Lulu's actually going to do with her life after that.

(Thanks for noting the typo; I'm surprised that there weren't many, many more...)

Oh, and the Night Breakers are young because they're not really a "criminal gang" in the sense of, well, like Conall's black-marketeers. They're a street gang, so they've got members starting in the 12-13 range and running on up into their 20s

Last edited by DezoPenguin; 2010-11-07 at 23:19. Reason: Rider. 'Nuff said.
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Old 2010-11-08, 01:46   Link #27782
Nanya01
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Season 1

A's Part 1 - 5

A's Part 6

A's Part 7

A's Part 8

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 9:


I WAS going to have a Lina vs Wolkenritter fight.

But after I wrote it, I realized it was stupid, so I had to delete it.
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Old 2010-11-08, 06:03   Link #27783
Jimmy C
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Blood That Flows - A's Part 9:
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"Oh well, she was getting bored of this and wanted to see what would happen when the master of the book lost control. Her eyes flashed as she started to pump magic into the book."
That shouldn't work. The BoD consumes Linker Cores, not merely magical energy. Were that the case, the Wolkenritter would have tried to scrounge up a magic generator to hook up to the Book and not gather Linker Cores.
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Old 2010-11-08, 08:58   Link #27784
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 9:


I WAS going to have a Lina vs Wolkenritter fight.

But after I wrote it, I realized it was stupid, so I had to delete it.
All right. I just gotta say... I find that Priest girl insufferable on a level I rarely find villains, and am deeply looking forward to her comeuppance.

Beyond that, the prospect of Reinforce, already a walking nuke, amped up on Chaos magic and now with the mana (And spells?) of a Mazoku Priest added in? Yes please.
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Old 2010-11-08, 08:59   Link #27785
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Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
That shouldn't work. The BoD consumes Linker Cores, not merely magical energy. Were that the case, the Wolkenritter would have tried to scrounge up a magic generator to hook up to the Book and not gather Linker Cores.
In my defense, Mazoku aren't human, so, for this, they don't have Linker Cores, since they ARE magical energy.
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Old 2010-11-08, 10:44   Link #27786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
...Yep; I wanted to do a story with Lutecia on a field mission. I can't set that post-"Shadow" because she's in breakdown mode and RB hasn't yet set what Lulu's actually going to do with her life after that.
Unless you take a page from my book and send her out on a field mission when she's still trying to figure herself out and only making it worse, aka the whole plot of Long Distance Goodbye. But I don't think Vivio would appreciate Lutecia pulling the same trick a second time.
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Old 2010-11-08, 12:45   Link #27787
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And, here we go! The big reveal....

Well, one of them...

Just WHAT did that Chaos blast *DO* to the Wolkenritter back in part 1?

now we find out.

Season 1

A's Part 1 - 5

A's Part 6

A's Part 7

A's Part 8

A's Part 9

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 10:
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Old 2010-11-08, 16:16   Link #27788
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Moczo, I think you're right. One part in an hour, the next part in 3 or so hours after that. XD

Season 1

A's Part 1-10

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 11:


Spoiler for Short notes:
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Old 2010-11-08, 20:21   Link #27789
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Moczo, I think you're right. One part in an hour, the next part in 3 or so hours after that. XD

Season 1

A's Part 1-10

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 11:


Spoiler for Short notes:
I'm usually right. Comes with being great. And humble.

Okay, looks like Chaos Reinforce is getting ready to really show off. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been looking forward to this for... well, since the idea was first introduced. And, of course... Mother-Daughter Team Up! Whoo-hoo!
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Old 2010-11-08, 20:33   Link #27790
shiroi mahotsukai
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I can see this story ending very badly for all involved, I mean look at all the power being unleashed here. This has the possibility to end horribly.
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Old 2010-11-08, 20:49   Link #27791
deathcurse
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Since RB's Shadowverse seems to be back lately, I thought I'd drop out of my NaNoWriMo haze to offer an update ^^.

Back to the Shadows! Auris starts to put some pieces of the mystery together...but who's tricking who?

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 12


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, part 12:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Part 10: Trial Day 2
Part 11
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Old 2010-11-08, 21:09   Link #27792
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Moczo, I think you're right. One part in an hour, the next part in 3 or so hours after that. XD

Season 1

A's Part 1-10

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 11:


Spoiler for Short notes:
And finally I have caught up on this! Damn, this chapter is really awesome. The awesome is doubled when listening to Plenty of Grit. But reading this chapter reminded me that I never really got why Reinforce absorbed Fate. I mean, wasn't she trying to kill her and Nanoha then suddenly Reinforce decides to give Fate what she thinks is a paradise?

I don't know, just never made sense to me.
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Old 2010-11-08, 21:39   Link #27793
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Since RB's Shadowverse seems to be back lately, I thought I'd drop out of my NaNoWriMo haze to offer an update ^^.

Back to the Shadows! Auris starts to put some pieces of the mystery together...but who's tricking who?

Crime Never Sleeps
Part 12


“The worst things we do are always by our own choice.”

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, part 12:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

New Part 1-4A
New Part 4B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1A
New Part 5: Trial Day 1B
New Part 5: Trial Day 1C and New Part 6
New Part 7
Part 8 and Part 9: Trial Day 2
Part 10: Trial Day 2
Part 11
You know, somehow I get the feeling that if Vivio stood between Auris and Lutecia for whatever reason, the fur would fly.

Seriously, though, I recognize this part; I remember we discussed it quite in-depth back when you first started the fic, and I have to say, it's my favorite part so far. There's something very subtle and kind of low-key about the interaction with Auris and Lutecia, though I do have to wonder how Lutecia will handle being shadowed by one of Auris's buddies.

So yeah, I cannot see this ending well. No surprise there.
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Old 2010-11-08, 21:44   Link #27794
deathcurse
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
You know, somehow I get the feeling that if Vivio stood between Auris and Lutecia for whatever reason, the fur would fly.

Seriously, though, I recognize this part; I remember we discussed it quite in-depth back when you first started the fic, and I have to say, it's my favorite part so far. There's something very subtle and kind of low-key about the interaction with Auris and Lutecia,
Yup, it's quite edited now, which I'm glad about since the beginning parts had changed drastically and ironically, this part matches retroactively quite well ^^.

I'm glad you liked it, it's good to know since something about it bugs me, but it may just be me .

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though I do have to wonder how Lutecia will handle being shadowed by one of Auris's buddies.
Handle, as in respond with a knife into Tagus' back?
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Old 2010-11-09, 06:11   Link #27795
Jimmy C
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Blood That Flows - A's Part 10
Quote:
She paled slightly as Nanoha walked through the fire in her Barrier Jacket. "You... Devil."

"Is that so?" Nanoha said softly. "Then I'll take on that name, the White Devil, and make you submit."
I've been waiting for this. Given their previous experience with a truly demonic Nanoha, I would have expected Vita's lines to be a little different at least.

Quote:
"Oh, so that's what the Chaos did to them." The Priest smirked to herself. "Severed their connection with the Book and turned them into real beings, huh?"
You'd think that the Wolkenritter would have felt the loss of connection with the Book when it happened. One could put the case that the scene in A's ep 13 suggests they might not, but it's possible that they were just thinking they still needed to go to save Hayate.

Quote:
"You know them?" Lina shot him a look and he nodded at her.

"Yes, they were my old teachers in magic."
I think it might be a good idea if you put in some lines to let readers know whether or not certain scenes that took place in canon took place here too. In this case, Chrono and Yuuno's trip to the Infinite Library and the meeting with the Liezes.
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Old 2010-11-09, 07:58   Link #27796
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Since RB's Shadowverse seems to be back lately, I thought I'd drop out of my NaNoWriMo haze to offer an update ^^.
One thing I hate about NaNo is having ideas for my fics while I'm writing something completely different. But last time I gave into that temptation I lost .

EDIT: Also, you should add me back as a buddy.
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Old 2010-11-09, 11:27   Link #27797
Nanya01
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Here's part 12.

Sorry if it disappoints any of you.

Season 1

A's Part 1-10

A's Part 11

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 12:
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Old 2010-11-09, 13:27   Link #27798
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Here's part 13

Season 1

A's Part 1-10

A's Part 11

A's Part 12

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 13:
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Old 2010-11-09, 14:14   Link #27799
shiroi mahotsukai
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Here's part 12.

Sorry if it disappoints any of you.

Season 1

A's Part 1-10

A's Part 11

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 12:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Here's part 13

Season 1

A's Part 1-10

A's Part 11

A's Part 12

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - A's Part 13:
I can't say it was dissapointing. It kept the final assault and that stopped it being anti-climactic which is the most important part.

Also owwww, that was a spanking for the ages.

The fact that they beat the book of darkness and it still didn't upset Death-Bringer has me intrigued, just how powerful is this guy seriously?
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Old 2010-11-09, 14:16   Link #27800
Rising Dragon
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... I'll never be able to catch up on this at this rate.
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