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Old 2010-12-28, 03:18   Link #28361
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
So earlier this month Alavon approached me and asked if I would write a story for a holiday themed doujinshi that she'd draw. I agreed and she's been hard at work on it ever since. I 'wrote it' in the sense that I described what was going on it in, because there's no dialouge in it. It's three pages in length.

Alavon is using a program to tone that she's not used to, and she doesn't think she'll have it done by New Years when it'd still be relevant. So for now I'm just going to post what she's done so far.



It's still a work in progress, but I hope you enjoy it
Great job, Alavon ^_^ you're awesome!

(BTW my new siggy was done by her too :3 )

[EDIT] Page claim for cute devices
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Old 2010-12-28, 03:22   Link #28362
NorthernFallout
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
This was really sad, both on Hayate's side and on the Wolkenritter's side. I really liked the simple language, nothing too flashy, just lots of short statements and questions--it really set the mood, making me imagine a silent movie in my head, which really added to the atmosphere.
Glad it worked, was my intention to create something like that. I also personally dig simplistic writing so that's what I use the most. Easier to read/write, for one.

Quote:
I wonder how old Hayate is here (as I don't think it had been evident in the piece).
You're right it's not evident, didn't really think of how to implement it. If you want an answer to this and the "known all along" thing:
Spoiler for wieeee:
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Old 2010-12-28, 03:26   Link #28363
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
So earlier this month Alavon approached me and asked if I would write a story for a holiday themed doujinshi that she'd draw. I agreed and she's been hard at work on it ever since. I 'wrote it' in the sense that I described what was going on it in, because there's no dialouge in it. It's three pages in length.

Alavon is using a program to tone that she's not used to, and she doesn't think she'll have it done by New Years when it'd still be relevant. So for now I'm just going to post what she's done so far.



It's still a work in progress, but I hope you enjoy it
Look very promising, I`m definitely going enjoy it.
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Old 2010-12-28, 15:08   Link #28364
Nanya01
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Long post is long.

Also, this won't look too much like canon.

But, hey, at this point, canon doesn't really exist, no?

A's

Jump

New Parts 1-45

New Part 46

New Part 47

New Part 48

New Part 49

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - New Part 50:


Ugh, that took FOREVER to finish!
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Last edited by Nanya01; 2010-12-28 at 16:34.
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Old 2010-12-28, 21:25   Link #28365
Yasanagi
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Spoiler for More MD Shenanigans:
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Old 2010-12-28, 21:31   Link #28366
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
So earlier this month Alavon approached me and asked if I would write a story for a holiday themed doujinshi that she'd draw. I agreed and she's been hard at work on it ever since. I 'wrote it' in the sense that I described what was going on it in, because there's no dialouge in it. It's three pages in length.

Alavon is using a program to tone that she's not used to, and she doesn't think she'll have it done by New Years when it'd still be relevant. So for now I'm just going to post what she's done so far.



It's still a work in progress, but I hope you enjoy it
Aw, soooo cute! And I'm impressed, too, by the improvements Alavon has made in her art skills over the years! Good stuff all around.

Last edited by DezoPenguin; 2010-12-28 at 21:32. Reason: Punctuation...
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Old 2010-12-28, 22:09   Link #28367
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yasanagi View Post
Spoiler for More MD Shenanigans:
Heh, I see what you did there, referencing your other fic.

While the part with Fate was nice and all, it was also, well, completely pointless. I don't want to rush you, but it wouldn't hurt to pick up the pace a bit. Things have been moving too slow recently and their return to Mid Childa is taking too long. Once they get there, things'll definitely pick up and become more interesting.
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Old 2010-12-28, 22:13   Link #28368
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Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
Glad it worked, was my intention to create something like that. I also personally dig simplistic writing so that's what I use the most. Easier to read/write, for one.
I admire that Hemingway-esque style of writing , I personally have a hard time doing it myself. It's definitely easier to read/write, and in addition it's nice for a modern audience used to visual and audio media (anime, movies, graphic novels, etc) since part of the description is delivered through the visual--I compare modern novels and fanfiction to older novels (say, Victorian novels), and the huge difference in writing there is that they take full paragraphs to describe something that nowadays, gets maybe one sentence at most, and often nothing at all .

Quote:
You're right it's not evident, didn't really think of how to implement it. If you want an answer to this and the "known all along" thing:
Spoiler for wieeee:
Spoiler for spoiler:
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Old 2010-12-28, 23:34   Link #28369
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Okay, here we go, finishing off this little arc and paving the way for the final stretch:

Future Tense

Chapter 26: Extrication, Part 2


In which Nanoha confronts Zira while forces move against her, and Teana and Givo make a desperate gamble...

Previous parts can be found here.

Spoiler for Future Tense, Chapter 26: Extrication, Part 2:
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Old 2010-12-29, 00:40   Link #28370
Rising Dragon
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... Centennial Sparrow? Captain Duo? Choonie?
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Old 2010-12-29, 01:03   Link #28371
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So... that was a gender bent Hans Solo? Might need some random Star Wars lines thrown in there for lulz.
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Old 2010-12-29, 01:12   Link #28372
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
I admire that Hemingway-esque style of writing , I personally have a hard time doing it myself. It's definitely easier to read/write, and in addition it's nice for a modern audience used to visual and audio media (anime, movies, graphic novels, etc) since part of the description is delivered through the visual--I compare modern novels and fanfiction to older novels (say, Victorian novels), and the huge difference in writing there is that they take full paragraphs to describe something that nowadays, gets maybe one sentence at most, and often nothing at all .
Hemingway-esque? Well that's quite a nice compliment (read up a bit, it's basically my favorite style when used by authors). Not that I've read anything by him, but now you made me want to try and continue with this style.
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Old 2010-12-29, 11:51   Link #28373
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
... Centennial Sparrow? Captain Duo? Choonie?
Too much?

Had more than a few people talk about how this has some Star Wars vibes at times, sooo....
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Old 2010-12-29, 15:02   Link #28374
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Inspired by Future World Music. An alternate past for a certain Knight.

You don't need the music really, but it might provide quite a nice mental image.

Spoiler for The Knight, The Mercenary:
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Old 2010-12-29, 15:23   Link #28375
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WHOO HOO!

I did it!

I got done with this section of the story before the year ended!

WHOO HOO!

A's

Jump

New part 1 - 50

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - New End:


Spoiler for Comments:
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Old 2010-12-29, 15:51   Link #28376
vic-vic
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
WHOO HOO!

I did it!

I got done with this section of the story before the year ended!

WHOO HOO!

A's

Jump

New part 1 - 50

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - New End:


Spoiler for Comments:
Congratulation, Nanya!

Nice to see that everyone earn their happy ending!

Expect Huraker but she shouldn`t underestimate her creator. Dolphin may look goofy and harmless, but her rage can make even Lina shrunk in fear.
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Old 2010-12-29, 16:17   Link #28377
shiroi mahotsukai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
WHOO HOO!

I did it!

I got done with this section of the story before the year ended!

WHOO HOO!

A's

Jump

New part 1 - 50

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - New End:


Spoiler for Comments:
Well done, congratulation on finishing this 51 part story before new year. I'm just happy that it all ended up going well in the end. I can just hear that narrator from pokemon saying "And as our heroes depart for home a new adventure awaits beyond the horizon" or something like that.

PS: DIE Huraker!
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Old 2010-12-29, 19:40   Link #28378
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Okay, here we go, finishing off this little arc and paving the way for the final stretch:

Future Tense

Chapter 26: Extrication, Part 2


In which Nanoha confronts Zira while forces move against her, and Teana and Givo make a desperate gamble...

Previous parts can be found here.

Spoiler for Future Tense, Chapter 26: Extrication, Part 2:
Kinda just leafed through this chapter again so there might be more mistakes I skimmed over.

It was an okay chapter, though like the rest of the arc it was bogged down by some pointlessness. Well at least things are back on track now.
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Old 2010-12-29, 23:31   Link #28379
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Thanks for the corrections, Raiser! And thanks to everyone else who commented, here or privately.

Uploaded Future Tense, Chapter 26: Extrication, Part 2 to ff.net.
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Old 2010-12-30, 01:57   Link #28380
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Updated Blood That Flows all the way through A's.
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