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Old 2011-02-23, 22:11   Link #29401
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentOutlaw View Post
Spoiler for More Blood Calls to Blood!:
Spoiler for BCTB:


Edit: Pageclaim for duck-and-cover Vivio!

Last edited by DezoPenguin; 2011-02-23 at 22:45. Reason: Page claim!
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Old 2011-02-23, 22:15   Link #29402
DKN117
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End of the Halo 1 storyline.

Spoiler for Teana's Travels Book 1 Ch. 21 - The Maw:
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Old 2011-02-23, 22:41   Link #29403
Oseng
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Excellent chapter, Synaethetic. I have to admit that I still disagree with some of the canon character's characterizations, and that to me the whole 'hero of justice' thing is both over played and exaggerated. But that is relatively minor and you along with the other Shadowverse writers keep sucking me back in. I'm really looking forward to the next story – it is going to be ….. interesting as the TSAB tries to bring in Earth as an administrated world.

I was surprised that the IAFW Council was so.... easily deflected from NSIS with the announcement of the discovery about Earth though.
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Old 2011-02-23, 23:26   Link #29404
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This chapter will make no sense if you haven't read "First Strike"

Spoiler for Book 1 Ch. 22 - First Strike:
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Old 2011-02-24, 00:24   Link #29405
synaesthetic
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Originally Posted by Oseng View Post
Excellent chapter, Synaethetic. I have to admit that I still disagree with some of the canon character's characterizations, and that to me the whole 'hero of justice' thing is both over played and exaggerated. But that is relatively minor and you along with the other Shadowverse writers keep sucking me back in. I'm really looking forward to the next story – it is going to be ….. interesting as the TSAB tries to bring in Earth as an administrated world.

I was surprised that the IAFW Council was so.... easily deflected from NSIS with the announcement of the discovery about Earth though.
Unfortunately, the whole "hero of justice" thing is the simplest way to handwave the major wallbangers the Bureau regularly commits--child labor, child soldiers, letting people get away with all sorts of bad behavior that would never be tolerated in a real military, you get the idea.

I wanted to focus on the story more than trying to explain why the Bureau, supposedly an egalitarian and "good" organization, was acting largely like an African warlord's army. A big part of the "knight mage in shining armor Barrier Jacket" thing is also Beamers' doing, since it's the entire justification for the existence of NSIS and the wet-works Field Division.

Canon character characterizations (wow, that's a mouthful, lmao) tends to be based on how they've been characterized by other SV writers who came before me--a lot of folks get annoyed at how Beamers' portrays Lutecia compared to how ViVid portrays her.

Personally, I prefer it--as far as I'm concerned, Force and ViVid are Discontinuity (in my not-so-humble opinion, they're absolute garbage).

I admit I did allow the Administrative Council to capitulate too easily. I didn't want to do that, but unfortunately I needed to get the fic finished and off my mind so I can do what I really ought to be doing--my schoolwork.

Hopefully I can make up for the Council's quick acceptance and deflection by causing them to do all sorts of political shadiness regarding Earth in the truth.
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Old 2011-02-24, 00:40   Link #29406
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiresias View Post
Spoiler for Comment:
Spoiler for reply to Tiresias:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuroi Hadou View Post
Another awesome chapter; can't wait to see how it ends.

HOW DARE YOU?!?!?!?!

Editing is a bitch, isn't it?
Heh heh heh.....

LOL, *cowers* It's not my fault! Both Nanoha and I realized at the same time just how suggestive her offer was , so of course we both had to address it in text ....

Yes, it is .....

Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
This one just gets more and more interesting. I do think Vivio's a little more talkative than she should be about things that are kinda private, though. Maybe have Precia attempt to coax it out of her?

And am I the only one completely skeeved out by the IMightBeNice!Precia or NiceForAGoal!Precia?
*Re-reads* Ah, yes, you do have a point....I think that I was just trying to get past all the talk and into the real fun Precia stuff , so I did rush that bit. I had hoped that I would have created enough of a "Vivio is viewing the Testarossas like family" feel to justify her being helpful and candid with them, but maybe it didn't come out that way . Is it Wall-Banger enough that requires major editing?

My response to that:

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentOutlaw View Post
Spoiler for More Blood Calls to Blood!:
Spoiler for spoiler to SilentOutlaw:


Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Spoiler for BCTB:


Edit: Pageclaim for duck-and-cover Vivio!
Yeah, thanks for pointing that out in my first draft .
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Old 2011-02-24, 01:16   Link #29407
DKN117
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...Damn. I know I said I didn't care, but... no comments?

...Meh.

Events of Halo 2 start here.

Spoiler for Teana's Travels Book 1 Ch. 23 - Regret's Blunder:
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Old 2011-02-24, 05:42   Link #29408
Keroko
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Not... really impressed to be honest. As far as insert fics go, this is mostly just Teana following Master Chief around and watching him do stuff. The fun part about insert fics is when the ones being inserted take the lead and change stuff. Consider, after all, that the people inserted are why people are reading the fic in the first place.
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Old 2011-02-24, 08:30   Link #29409
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...Damn. I know I said I didn't care, but... no comments?
Not really my kind of fic. Sorry.
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Old 2011-02-24, 10:12   Link #29410
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Sorry for the late-ish update , I've been studying for exams . But anyway, here's a new chapter!

Blood Calls To Blood

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Spoiler for Blood Calls To Blood, chapter 3:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Spoiler for Thoughts:
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Old 2011-02-24, 10:47   Link #29411
spawnofthejudge
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*Re-reads* Ah, yes, you do have a point....I think that I was just trying to get past all the talk and into the real fun Precia stuff , so I did rush that bit. I had hoped that I would have created enough of a "Vivio is viewing the Testarossas like family" feel to justify her being helpful and candid with them, but maybe it didn't come out that way . Is it Wall-Banger enough that requires major editing?
...It's not a Wall-Banger, but I do think it needs addressing. Basically, (I think) you need to up the creepy factor sweetness from Precia and have Vivio try to dance around it, and then have Precia manage to get Vivio to say that the relic was implanted in her. It's less needing Vivio to think of them like family (you got that across) and more that the event in question is one that Vivio likely feels should be private between her and Nanoha-mama specifically.

@Mozco I knew I wasn't the only one.
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Old 2011-02-24, 11:34   Link #29412
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Teana starts having an impact plot-wise in Halo 3, a bit more of one in Book 2, an even bigger impact in Book 4, and a BIG effect on Book 5's canon.

Spoiler for Book 1 Chapter 24 - Mombasa:
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Old 2011-02-24, 12:14   Link #29413
Nanya01
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No, not done with chapter 2 yet...

...

Here.

Day in the Life Sequel

Future Days

Chapter 1

Spoiler for Future Days Chapter 1:
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Old 2011-02-24, 12:30   Link #29414
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@DKN117: Read over the first chapter at random. It's easy to see why nobody here wants to read the story. Regardless of anything else your fic is or is not (bad OR good)--it's not about Nanoha.

And no, I don't mean the character Nanoha, but the setting of Nanoha. Your story is just Halo with Teana stuck inside it--and this FFT is a Nanoha FFT.

If you haven't noticed, people here barely tolerate original characters in the unmolested Nanoha universe. Additionally, if it's not romance, it tends to be fairly unpopular here. The folks here aren't going to care about one character plucked from MGLN and plopped into something that has less than nothing to do with what this thread is about.
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Old 2011-02-24, 12:44   Link #29415
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
No, not done with chapter 2 yet...

...

Here.

Day in the Life Sequel

Future Days

Chapter 1

Spoiler for Future Days Chapter 1:
Wow, mood whiplash. I worry that it might be going too dark, too fast, almost. But for the moment it's not a problem, since I'm assuming explanations of exactly what is going on are still to come. And you've certainly managed to build a rather threatening atmosphere, that's for sure.

Looking forward the next chapter!
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Old 2011-02-24, 13:07   Link #29416
Rising Dragon
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Actually, synae, romance fics in Nanoha are generally extremely popular on Fanfiction.net, and not as popular here. The romances certainly don't hurt, but there are plenty of popular fics here where the romance isn't the main focus.
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Old 2011-02-24, 13:52   Link #29417
spawnofthejudge
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To my knowledge, the popular fics here (in this thread) play with canon in some way, but not so much that it becomes unrecognizable as Nanoha-verse. We tend to expand on what we know from canon rather than actively change it (see: Shadowsverse), or play with future possibilities implied by past events (see: Blood Calls to Blood or AlternativeS), or just expand on the future, assuming Canon events happen (see: Beyond the Edge or Dezo's Vivio-centric series). There are far more examples than I cited for each of these topics.

Out and out crossovers tend to be panned. We're just not fans, mostly. I, to be specific, have a very picky taste in crosses, and don't find very many that fit what I like from them.
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Old 2011-02-24, 14:15   Link #29418
Nanya01
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Eh, the problem with most crossovers is simply the level of power involved.

You either have to tone down one series or power up the other one without any real reason for either.

...

Or you could do what I did and have the characters learn from the other series, powering them up that way without making either side get downgraded.

I'd like to think that I managed to do that pretty well in Blood That Flows, showing the strengths of both series involved without de-powering either side.

Of course, that gets to be a bit tricky later on.
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Old 2011-02-24, 14:30   Link #29419
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I think Blood That Flows worked here because it was the porting of a character from Slayers and dropping them into a Nanoha setting, rather than the other way around. (I didn't read it, but that's not because I don't like Nanya; I don't like crosses)
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Old 2011-02-24, 14:31   Link #29420
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
No, not done with chapter 2 yet...

...

Here.

Day in the Life Sequel

Future Days

Chapter 1

Spoiler for Future Days Chapter 1:
Quattro is back and she is for payback!! Nnoha and Co better to be ready...
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