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Old 2011-06-09, 09:35   Link #31281
RadiantBeam
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And Shinobu is a vampire.
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Old 2011-06-09, 09:37   Link #31282
spawnofthejudge
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And Alisa a ghost.

Did you not get the memos?
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Old 2011-06-09, 09:56   Link #31283
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Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
So... we have a vested interest in not entertaining you?
Maybe



Yeah, maybe.

Red 1-30

Red 31

Red 32

Red 33

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Red 34:
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Old 2011-06-09, 10:05   Link #31284
Shigan
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Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
They're ninjas.
....What? when? Is this in the manga version?

(Baking ninjas? O_o)
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Shigan's Fanfiction Masterlist -- The Hayate x Vivio Files
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Old 2011-06-09, 10:09   Link #31285
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
....What? when? Is this in the manga version?

(Baking ninjas? O_o)
Original Triangle Hearts 3 universe
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Old 2011-06-09, 11:19   Link #31286
DezoPenguin
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And don't forget that Noel is a Robot Maid!
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Old 2011-06-09, 12:03   Link #31287
yuiseppe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
*Goes back and re-reads*

Ah, I see. I think I got a sense of "Hayate had married and had children" when I read the fic the first time for some reason instead of thinking of the Wolkenritter .
Sorry I don't know the specific page reference, but is this a case of 'lost in translation'? I know Hayate uses 'ko' in Japanese when referring to her knights, but 'kid' or 'children' doesn't really carry the same meaning (though I suppose it is the closest English gets).

'ko' gets used in refering to children yes, but also to pets or pet-like things and uh, sometimes inanimate objects too.

I got the impression Hayate used 'ko' to indicate endearment, and not literally to mean 'kids'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
Serving. Not Solid Snake (thou, I suppose Rhen could be). She's channeling this!!!

Someone asked if there were gonna be any action in this. Some, but I wasn't planning on writing about Vivio deployed on badass STG Woof missions. It's mostly gonna be her and Hayate resolving some of their relationship issues and getting into trouble .

The basis for my story is that Viv and Hayate do end up together at some point between those four years of 15 to 19 though ^^;, so depending on how deathcurse's story goes this might end up an AU of an fanfic, sort of O_o. *shoots deathcurse meaningsful look*
Lol that's a pretty good trailer... "surgical" precision huh ;D

Oh, trouble you say? *lowers voice an octave* What kind of trouble?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
All right.

DC seems to have the thread focused on this, so I can hardly not contribute to the Hayate/Vivio FEVAH, right? XD

Granted, as is my wont, I've chosen to take a slightly differing viewpoint on the relationship between the two. One that, I hope, will be appreciated.

Or laughed at.

Really, mostly the second.

Raiser, your ficlet was also a major source of inspiration for me here, so thank you as well. I hope you enjoy the fruits of your inspirationing. Inspirationizing. ... I hope you like it.

Spoiler for Alternative Viewpoints:
LOL I get the feeling Signum has been trying to tell Hayate the same thing for a very long time, only to have Hayate chalk it down to Signum being 'shy' ... luckily Vivio came along before the court martialling started.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Well, I would not want to break the current string of Hayate x Vivio fics .

Prerogative of the Brave

“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."
--Mahatma Gandhi

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Spoiler for Prerogative of the Brave, Chapter 3:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Did Vivio just ask Miyuki about her love life (or lack thereof) when she'd only been introduced to Miyuki a day or so prior? XD
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Old 2011-06-09, 13:30   Link #31288
Shigan
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Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
Lol that's a pretty good trailer... "surgical" precision huh ;D

Oh, trouble you say? *lowers voice an octave* What kind of trouble?
That trailer sets the pace quite nicely. Just imagine Vivio with her team charging down apocalyptic terminator robots to that music, myeh, that's sorta how I imagined her career at this point ;D. Now I almost feel bad for not writing this an action story, lol.

The sort of trouble where you wish your parents wouldn't be involved, haha. Just wait a few hours and I'll see if I can have the next part up.
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Old 2011-06-09, 13:32   Link #31289
Akiyoshi
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It tought it was a one-shot, at least it looked that way to me xD
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Old 2011-06-09, 13:34   Link #31290
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Well, currently I have no critique, because from where I'm reading this turned out very nicely. As usual, introducing Miyuki is full of win and awesome.

It seems Nanoha is trying to nudge Vivio along in her own way, but she'll need to be careful with how she goes about it; that kind of thing could really backfire on you if you aren't too careful. And I'm sort of surprised that this is the first time Vivio has met Momoko and Miyuki in person, at least from what you're implying; I always figured Nanoha would at least bring her home a few times to introduce her to the family. That's probably the only odd thing right now that really catches my eye.
LOL, I knew you'd like that part .

I meant to imply that while Nanoha had brought Vivio home with her a few times, the last time they all saw each other would have been Nanoha and Fate's wedding (which would be sometime around when Vivio was 9-11), and so from Vivio's POV Momoko and Miyuki are two adults who she's met before, but didn't really know. For me, at least, I was writing from my experience meeting some of my aunts and cousins (all adults) for the first time when I was 12 then again when I was 16. The change in what we spoke about or what I knew of them as people changed drastically when I was older.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Anyway, a repost of mine; it was generally well liked, but Dezo and Spawn gave me some small critiques on it, so here's a slightly altered version of Vivio's interlude! If it flows better than the last one, I'll post it to FF.net today.

Spoiler for LDG Interlude: Vivio (Rewrite):
Very nice, once again. I get the feeling they're all going to look back on this moment as the "Yup, this is when they really got married before all the ceremony stuff."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
Go Vivio, GOOoOO!!

Hit that hard and I'll show you just how well it pays off in the end . *holds up half-edited manuscript*
LOL, and oh boy, does she go . Poor Hayate doesn't stand a chance! (At least, in Chapter 4 )

Oh man, now I have step up and get this out! *stares longing at the half-edited manuscript*....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
Haha, nice introduction there. Also, the Takamachi family does other things aside from baking?
Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
They're ninjas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
And Shinobu is a vampire.
Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
And Alisa a ghost.

Did you not get the memos?
Hahaha . I didn't want it to take over the chapter, so I didn't exactly say it aloud , but yeah, Miyuki is fully ninja here. I wanted to have Vivio "show, not tell" her abilities by showing how she does in a fight with a highly-trained ninja, and plus make a nod to continuity.

While it probably won't make it inside the story I'm going off the assumption that Shinobu and Shizuka are vampires, more out of my own amusement than anything plot-relevant. Alisa being a ghost...I'm of mixed minds --I love Dezo's "Blood & Spirit", but I'm used to thinking of Alisa as alive...so I guess it'll be left up the reader then .

Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
And don't forget that Noel is a Robot Maid!
Spoiler for random trivia:


Quote:
Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
Sorry I don't know the specific page reference, but is this a case of 'lost in translation'? I know Hayate uses 'ko' in Japanese when referring to her knights, but 'kid' or 'children' doesn't really carry the same meaning (though I suppose it is the closest English gets).

'ko' gets used in refering to children yes, but also to pets or pet-like things and uh, sometimes inanimate objects too.

I got the impression Hayate used 'ko' to indicate endearment, and not literally to mean 'kids'.
Maybe...I've only ever read the translations, and I honestly never really understood Hayate referring to the Wolkenritter as her "children", exactly. I agree that she definitely "looks out for them" like a parent would do, but doesn't exactly view herself as a parental figure for them . But since I can't read the original references I can't say much about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
Did Vivio just ask Miyuki about her love life (or lack thereof) when she'd only been introduced to Miyuki a day or so prior? XD
.....she gets leeway being a favourite niece? That was one of the bits that I worried came out too quickly, but I wanted to cover the buildup for Chapter 4 in a non-direct way... Any suggestions on how I can fix it to make it less abrupt? =O
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Old 2011-06-09, 13:43   Link #31291
Kuroi Hadou
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Any suggestions on how I can fix it to make it less abrupt? =O
Any suggestions we give you would just be used by you as an excuse to inject more misery into the characters.
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Old 2011-06-09, 13:44   Link #31292
Akiyoshi
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Originally Posted by Kuroi Hadou View Post
Any suggestions we give you would just be used by you as an excuse to inject more misery into the characters.
I was about to say "kill Hayate's puppy" but then i remebered how much i like Zafira xDU
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Old 2011-06-09, 13:58   Link #31293
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
.....she gets leeway being a favourite niece? That was one of the bits that I worried came out too quickly, but I wanted to cover the buildup for Chapter 4 in a non-direct way... Any suggestions on how I can fix it to make it less abrupt? =O
Maybe have Miyuki ask her about her love life to bring up that certain question? Considering the build up you have there, it wouldn't be surprising if Miyuki saw Vivio's shoulders slump and therefore pose her own question.

Also. Awesome work. Definitely looking forward to how this progresses. *thumbs up* Thanks for telling me about the story(s) that's being spawned on AS~

Edit: Also, in regards to what I messaged you about, I think it may be a better idea to wait for me to wait. Probably. o_o? Hard to say.

Last edited by Eagle8819; 2011-06-09 at 14:15.
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Old 2011-06-09, 14:10   Link #31294
Shigan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
LOL, and oh boy, does she go . Poor Hayate doesn't stand a chance! (At least, in Chapter 4 )

Oh man, now I have step up and get this out! *stares longing at the half-edited manuscript*....


Hahaha . I didn't want it to take over the chapter, so I didn't exactly say it aloud , but yeah, Miyuki is fully ninja here. I wanted to have Vivio "show, not tell" her abilities by showing how she does in a fight with a highly-trained ninja, and plus make a nod to continuity.

While it probably won't make it inside the story I'm going off the assumption that Shinobu and Shizuka are vampires, more out of my own amusement than anything plot-relevant. Alisa being a ghost...I'm of mixed minds --I love Dezo's "Blood & Spirit", but I'm used to thinking of Alisa as alive...so I guess it'll be left up the reader then .
O_o Baking ninjas, robots and vampires, great. Wait, why is Arisa a ghost? I just realized that I have no bloody idea of what's going on in the Nanohaverse that isn't the movie and the anime. I barely even know the anime (did not watch the first season due to movie). Oh well.

deathcurse: Actually, do you want to read it in advance? You sorta have the prerogative to, if anyone. ^^; We could compare notes or something, since we presumably work in the same universe. ^^; And you sorta have the chronological advantage.
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Old 2011-06-09, 14:28   Link #31295
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuroi Hadou View Post
Any suggestions we give you would just be used by you as an excuse to inject more misery into the characters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akiyoshi View Post
I was about to say "kill Hayate's puppy" but then i remebered how much i like Zafira xDU
LOL, don't worry, not so much for this story --I already have it all plotted out already. I was talking more on the "this conversation starts a little weirdly, maybe you could change X" or "this section felt random because Y" front, actually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eagle8819 View Post
Maybe have Miyuki ask her about her love life to bring up that certain question? Considering the build up you have there, it wouldn't be surprising if Miyuki saw Vivio's shoulders slump and therefore pose her own question.

Also. Awesome work. Definitely looking forward to how this progresses. *thumbs up* Thanks for telling me about the story(s) that's being spawned on AS~

Edit: Also, in regards to what I messaged you about, I think it may be a better idea to wait for me to wait. Probably. o_o? Hard to say.
Urrrrrgh......that's such a good suggestion, but I had wanted for this chapter to avoid any real direct mention of Vivio's crush--since it was covered already in previous chapters, and plus I wanted to show how Vivio has actually been holding the depth of her feelings to her chest for the last few years (since even Suzuka and Arisa's remarks in Chapter 2 were more from their memory of Vivio as a 10-year-old and her infamous proposal) so it's not like everyone knows that she still loves Hayate... I also wanted to avoid going over the same points that come up in Chapter 5 .

Well, I'll definitely consider your suggestion and maybe wait until I'm done all the chapters to see if this change would be a good place.

(Well, I replied to your message before reading this post, so you got slight spoilers as to the direction of this fic ^^. So it's up to you if you want to work on your story or wait ).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
O_o Baking ninjas, robots and vampires, great. Wait, why is Arisa a ghost? I just realized that I have no bloody idea of what's going on in the Nanohaverse that isn't the movie and the anime. I barely even know the anime (did not watch the first season due to movie). Oh well.

deathcurse: Actually, do you want to read it in advance? You sorta have the prerogative to, if anyone. ^^; We could compare notes or something, since we presumably work in the same universe. ^^; And you sorta have the chronological advantage.
A broadly simplified version: In Triangle Hearts, the Takamachis are from a ninja clan. But they still own a bakery. Noel (and Farin??) are robot maids, and Shinobu (and Suzuka?) are vampires. Arisa is actually a ghost.

Various bits and pieces of this often comes over into Nanohaverse as mostly jokes from the authors ^^. Although Dezo wrote an awesome fic "Blood & Spirit" that ties elements from both together very nicely.

I'd love to read it ! Sorry for the fact that it's taking me a while to get "Prerogative of the Brave" out , it's a busy few weeks for me right now. Working in the same universe would be awesome ....)
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Old 2011-06-09, 14:46   Link #31296
SilentOutlaw
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Maybe



Yeah, maybe.

Red 1-30

Red 31

Red 32

Red 33

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Red 34:
I found a mistake, I bolded which word I corrected.

Other then that, good chapter.
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Old 2011-06-09, 14:48   Link #31297
Eagle8819
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Urrrrrgh......that's such a good suggestion, but I had wanted for this chapter to avoid any real direct mention of Vivio's crush--since it was covered already in previous chapters, and plus I wanted to show how Vivio has actually been holding the depth of her feelings to her chest for the last few years (since even Suzuka and Arisa's remarks in Chapter 2 were more from their memory of Vivio as a 10-year-old and her infamous proposal) so it's not like everyone knows that she still loves Hayate... I also wanted to avoid going over the same points that come up in Chapter 5 .

Well, I'll definitely consider your suggestion and maybe wait until I'm done all the chapters to see if this change would be a good place.
Hm. Point. It doesn't necessarily have to be a question from Miyuki, though, or that Miyuki knows about the crush. It could really just be as simple as Miyuki seeing her shoulders slump and coming to the conclusion that Vivio is...lol, I dunno. Wondering about love and all that? And then Miyuki could...say something. And something and something and Vivio decides to blurt out that question.

Quote:
(Well, I replied to your message before reading this post, so you got slight spoilers as to the direction of this fic ^^. So it's up to you if you want to work on your story or wait ).
I saw eeet. And uh...yeah, I forgot to mention in my response. I can't decide yet on whether to wait, or not. I guess we will see if inspiration and idea decides to strike.

Quote:
I'd love to read it ! Sorry for the fact that it's taking me a while to get "Prerogative of the Brave" out , it's a busy few weeks for me right now. Working in the same universe would be awesome ....)
...I won't say why here, but given what I just emailed, this made me snicker.
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Old 2011-06-09, 14:53   Link #31298
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Originally Posted by Akiyoshi View Post
I was about to say "kill Hayate's puppy" but then i remebered how much i like Zafira xDU
Besides, she already did that in "Fealty." We want new and interesting tragedy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
O_o Baking ninjas, robots and vampires, great. Wait, why is Arisa a ghost? I just realized that I have no bloody idea of what's going on in the Nanohaverse that isn't the movie and the anime. I barely even know the anime (did not watch the first season due to movie). Oh well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post

A broadly simplified version: In Triangle Hearts, the Takamachis are from a ninja clan. But they still own a bakery. Noel (and Farin??) are robot maids, and Shinobu (and Suzuka?) are vampires. Arisa is actually a ghost.

Various bits and pieces of this often comes over into Nanohaverse as mostly jokes from the authors ^^. Although Dezo wrote an awesome fic "Blood & Spirit" that ties elements from both together very nicely.
Specifically: Shinobu is a vampire, Noel is a Robot Maid (their respective little sisters were added in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and don't exist in Triangle Hearts), Miyuki and especially Kyouya are ninja; Arisa Lowell (not Bannings) is a ghost. There's also a kitsune and a miko and an idol singer, but we won't get into that.

Also--Shiro Takamachi was killed in Triangle Hearts . He lived in MGLN: his TH death took place at the same time as the accident which severely injured him in MGLN and gave him all those scars. Basically, most of us assume that except where specifically contradicted by MGLN, the background stories for TH apply (for example, in MGLN, Arisa definitely isn't a ghost, because she has a completely different background and grows up normally). You'll notice little shout-outs to them throughout the series (for example, in the A's manga, you'll note Suzuka's superhuman physical abilities in the dodgeball game, and in the anime itself you'll notice how the Takamachi family has a dojo).

In addition to "Blood & Spirit," I'd also strongly recommend RadiantBeam's "Bless the Broken Road" as a fic which mixes Nanoha with its TH origins. It's only posted here in the AnimeSuki FFT, so you'll have to use the search function unless some kind person saved a link.

@deathcurse: More Robot Maid fights always, always add positive value to any story.
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Old 2011-06-09, 15:24   Link #31299
Shigan
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Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Specifically: Shinobu is a vampire, Noel is a Robot Maid (their respective little sisters were added in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and don't exist in Triangle Hearts), Miyuki and especially Kyouya are ninja; Arisa Lowell (not Bannings) is a ghost. There's also a kitsune and a miko and an idol singer, but we won't get into that.

Also--Shiro Takamachi was killed in Triangle Hearts . He lived in MGLN: his TH death took place at the same time as the accident which severely injured him in MGLN and gave him all those scars. Basically, most of us assume that except where specifically contradicted by MGLN, the background stories for TH apply (for example, in MGLN, Arisa definitely isn't a ghost, because she has a completely different background and grows up normally). You'll notice little shout-outs to them throughout the series (for example, in the A's manga, you'll note Suzuka's superhuman physical abilities in the dodgeball game, and in the anime itself you'll notice how the Takamachi family has a dojo).
... and Shigan is more confused than ever... O_o. Oh well, um, I think I'm gonna stick with the anime where the only odd things are talking ferrets, milk in green tea and Signum's bustsize.
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Old 2011-06-09, 15:33   Link #31300
Nanya01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
... and Shigan is more confused than ever... O_o. Oh well, um, I think I'm gonna stick with the anime where the only odd things are talking ferrets, milk in green tea and Signum's bustsize.
Hey, in the universe (Lyrical Toy Box) where Nanoha was a magic girl, she ended up marrying Chrono and Lindy was a fairy.

Now, more Blood That Flows, let the battle begin!

Red 1-30

Red 31

Red 32

Red 33

Red 34

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Red 35:
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Last edited by Nanya01; 2011-06-09 at 21:26. Reason: Screwed up a part.
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