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Old 2012-01-18, 09:42   Link #35581
novalysis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Well, I enjoyed it, but here's my comments to it.

Spoiler for Thoughts, concerns:
Thanks for those comments. Yes, it seems that I messed up on the its a little. I also didn't write this whole portion in a single seating, so I think I might have lost track of tenses sometimes.

Well, the rune connection works both ways too. Nothing is stopping Arf from manipulating the runes after all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filraen View Post




Something I forgot to mention the other time. I like your idea of using Arf because (on power levels) she isn't overpowering like in other ZnT crossovers.

And you still have sometimes a space after an opening quote.

Going nice.
There's a huge power jump from the first ZnT battle (against Guiche) and the second (against Folquet of the Crumbling Earth). That being said, I have quite a few chapter plans bouncing around, and in some of my plotting, I've considered not just wrecking one of the early Stations of the Canon, but also hitting it with a Starlight Breaker for good measure, early on.

Thanks for the feedback!
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Old 2012-01-18, 12:07   Link #35582
Justin_Brett
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Yeah, I was reading a crossover where she summoned Ammy from Okami, and the first fight was just her pulverizing Forquet completely. Like, it wasn't even fair.
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Old 2012-01-18, 18:04   Link #35583
Nanya01
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This is officially the longest arc of Blood That Flows.

StrikerS 1-55

StrikerS 56

StrikerS 57

StrikerS 58

StrikerS 59

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 60:
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Old 2012-01-18, 18:20   Link #35584
mega1987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
This is officially the longest arc of Blood That Flows.

StrikerS 1-55

StrikerS 56

StrikerS 57

StrikerS 58

StrikerS 59

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 60:
Odin: Where's those N-Jammers WHEN you need them!?

Me: They haven't invented in this timeline, Odin.

Odin: TCH!!!

Reia: Rein Ein! Oh no....

Val: Don't panic! Everything will be okay.

Reia: You sure?

Me: *Glares at Val.* Don't you answer that... You'll jinx us all....
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And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2012-01-18, 21:42   Link #35585
Nanya01
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All I know is...

You guys are going to hate me for what I do next.

StrikerS 1-60

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 61:
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Old 2012-01-18, 22:03   Link #35586
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Yes! Neck-snappy!
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Old 2012-01-18, 23:07   Link #35587
mega1987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
All I know is...

You guys are going to hate me for what I do next.

StrikerS 1-60

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 61:
Me: Anyone who want to kill Nanya.... Don't even think about it.

Odin: But if you want to kill Levi and Quattro, go ahead. We won't stop you.

Me: *Looks at Nanya* You didn't punched us in the gut this time, Nanya.

Val: You IMPALED us with Gea Bolg right to the heart.....

Sarah: MEDIC!!!

*Everyone looked at Nanya-Muse, who just saved Nanya from an assassination attempt by the BTF-haters, laying down on the ground bleeding from a sniper shot.*

Reia: Don't die yet!!! *Stared casting Curaga at Nanya-Muse*

Iris: Yeah... Just... *Assisted Reia at healing the wound.* Hang in there.

Amelia: Security!!!!

Me: Jeez... Zealots.... You really got to hate them...
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Darwin's nominee are best for laughs.
MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
Gundams are your worst nightmare in the battlefield.
SRW beats all foes.
JAM Project pwns all!!!

And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2012-01-19, 08:22   Link #35588
Lycodrake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
All I know is...

You guys are going to hate me for what I do next.

*snip*
You're right, I think I hate you for this. But I kind of expected you to do something like this. =.=
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Old 2012-01-19, 09:02   Link #35589
novalysis
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I really, really wonder how sane Lutecia will be at the end of all this. Better hope that memory wipe is a possible psychological treatment in the Nanoha-verse...
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Old 2012-01-19, 15:55   Link #35590
shiroi mahotsukai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
All I know is...

You guys are going to hate me for what I do next.

StrikerS 1-60

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 61:
Damn it all, I swear to God, that is one I never saw coming. I was expecting more schemes and machination rather than a straight impalement even though something bad was going to happen, I figured turn Quattro into a Mazoku and posses Jail but this. Too bad he was one of my favourite characters from this fic. Such a shame.
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Old 2012-01-19, 19:03   Link #35591
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Bah. I wanted to write a short one-shot based on Yuuno and his clan, but this draft is too long and too info-dumpy. I'm giving up on it and trying something else.

But since I don't want to simply delete it, I'm going to post it here to collect whatever dust or attention deigns to cling to it.


FIRST FAILED DRAFT
Spoiler for Abandoned Draft:

Last edited by Sunder the Gold; 2012-01-20 at 15:26.
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Old 2012-01-19, 19:32   Link #35592
Nanya01
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StrikerS 1-60

StrikerS 61

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 62:


Spoiler for Comments:
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Old 2012-01-19, 20:00   Link #35593
mega1987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
StrikerS 1-60

StrikerS 61

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 62:


Spoiler for Comments:
Me: Gundam Wing reference for Lutecia doing what Dorothy done to the Mobile Dolls using the ZERO System.

Odin: Levi, prepare to have an "Oh Crap" moment about you foes true capabilities.

Mariemeia: Corned Beef, Extremely WELL done anyone?
__________________
Darwin's nominee are best for laughs.
MGLN "Befriending" shows love thru superior firepower (Zenryokou Zenkai!)
Gundams are your worst nightmare in the battlefield.
SRW beats all foes.
JAM Project pwns all!!!

And I can't still make fanfic without restarting from the start when new ideas comes in...
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Old 2012-01-20, 07:32   Link #35594
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So it seems someone decided...*dons sunglasses* … to visit Lovetown again.

(Not that satisfied with it, but hey.)

Spoiler for ”Choices without Choices”:



YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH .
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Old 2012-01-20, 09:47   Link #35595
Keroko
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Suggest random couple, get awesome rare short in return.

Life is good.
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Old 2012-01-20, 10:28   Link #35596
vic-vic
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Nanoha/Chrono
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Old 2012-01-20, 10:52   Link #35597
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Suggest random couple, get awesome rare short in return.

Life is good.
Yuuno/Tre

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunder the Gold View Post
Bah. I wanted to write a short one-shot based on Yuuno and his clan, but this draft is too long and too info-dumpy. I'm giving up on it and trying something else.

But since I don't want to simply delete it, I'm going to post it here to collect whatever dust or attention deigns to cling to it.


Spoiler for Abandoned Draft:
That was actually pretty good. I didn't think it was too info-dumpy or too long. If anything, it seems a good basis to flesh out more info as a prologue to S1.


Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
So it seems someone decided...*dons sunglasses* … to visit Lovetown again.

(Not that satisfied with it, but hey.)

Spoiler for ”Choices without Choices”:



YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH .
Quite daft indeed. That was cute and I liked the dynamics between Amy and Chrono. There really needs to be more with these two.
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Old 2012-01-20, 13:47   Link #35598
Nanya01
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StrikerS 1-60

StrikerS 61

StrikerS 62

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 63:
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Old 2012-01-20, 14:03   Link #35599
biodude711
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
StrikerS 1-60

StrikerS 61

StrikerS 62

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - StrikerS 63:
Well, it looks like our heroes need to one-hit-kill the Megahs in order to eventually come out on top, cause what they are using now just isn't enough.
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Old 2012-01-20, 15:26   Link #35600
Sunder the Gold
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Old_Iron View Post
That was actually pretty good. I didn't think it was too info-dumpy or too long. If anything, it seems a good basis to flesh out more info as a prologue to S1.
It needs to be told with much more dialogue, and I really ought to write the "9/10 years old" part of his life first so that I can allude to his issues in that period without getting bogged down explaining them in detail.


Second failed draft:
Spoiler for Second Dive into Yuuno's head:



Quote:
Yuuno/Tre
Setting aside how impossible that seems, it would introduce a neat point of drama for Tre.

If she betrays the doctor for Scrya, and finally accepts rehabilitation, she knows that Sette will finally agree to leave the prison as well. The only reason Sette remains there, wasting her life away, is because of her loyalty to Tre.

Tre has to weigh her loyalty to the doctor against her loyalty to her innocent sister and the man she is starting to care for.

Alternatively, she doesn't really care for him (at first), and just as everyone is warning Yuuno might be the case, she's merely trying to engineer a future escape attempt while also earning her sister some freedom.


Quote:
Quite daft indeed. That was cute and I liked the dynamics between Amy and Chrono. There really needs to be more with these two.
More slice-of-life in the pre-teen years of the Nanoha cast is essential. This also allows us to include more Amy, and especially more Amy/Chrono.
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