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Old 2012-06-05, 08:27   Link #36521
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Originally Posted by Akiyoshi View Post
If you ever do a StrikerS fic it'll be amusing to see Jail Scaglietty meet with Dr. Eggman xD
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Amusing hell, that'd be terrifying. The scale on which Dr. Robotnik does things, combined with Jail's own mania... that'd be a frightening combination.
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Originally Posted by ZeroIchiNi View Post
I can see Quattro driving one of Eggman's Giant Robot and laughing insanely
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Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
... oh god. Now I can't get that image out of my head. ._.
Well that would be funny, though I'm not gonna spoil it.. The StrikerS arc is almost done... Just need to finish up the Cradle incident
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Old 2012-06-05, 23:33   Link #36522
Justin_Brett
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And then Metal Sonic comes in and...oh, wait. He's not in Sonic X. : (
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Old 2012-06-06, 02:21   Link #36523
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7 years... and this place still smells like bad spirits.
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Old 2012-06-06, 03:26   Link #36524
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Metal Nanoha? with metal hair for a pigtail and then:

Metal Nanoha: I'm the true Nanoha!
Nanoha: Then what's that on our hand?
Metal Nanoha: Like I'd- OMG I'M A ROBOT! *goes emo*
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Old 2012-06-06, 06:24   Link #36525
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Nanoha and Stern VS Metal Nanoha and Metal Stern.
Let the Beam-O-War begin!
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Old 2012-06-06, 07:10   Link #36526
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin_Brett View Post
And then Metal Sonic comes in and...oh, wait. He's not in Sonic X. : (
Quote:
Originally Posted by bhl88 View Post
Metal Nanoha? with metal hair for a pigtail and then:

Metal Nanoha: I'm the true Nanoha!
Nanoha: Then what's that on our hand?
Metal Nanoha: Like I'd- OMG I'M A ROBOT! *goes emo*
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Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
Nanoha and Stern VS Metal Nanoha and Metal Stern.
Let the Beam-O-War begin!
I'm still debating about the Materials since I haven't played the A's PSP game, although I will say that Metal Sonic plays somewhat a key role with Nanoha in the second story.. Metal Nanoha... well I think the equivalent is Cyborg-Nanoha

links to stories:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7562575/...e_Lyrical_Step 1st
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8053321/..._the_Night_Sky 2nd
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Old 2012-06-06, 10:58   Link #36527
Justin_Brett
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Okay, I opened one, and I couldn't help but notice you put in japanese words completely untranslated.

Why is that, exactly?
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Old 2012-06-06, 11:06   Link #36528
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Originally Posted by Justin_Brett View Post
Okay, I opened one, and I couldn't help but notice you put in japanese words completely untranslated.

Why is that, exactly?
If you're looking at the Night Sky one and it's the first chapter you're looking at the pilot opening script i put in. and if the japanese letters are in bold there's italicize parenthesis with translations, and there are some common japanese terms i put in the main story with translations at the end if not I usually make an effort to put in the translation at that very moment if it's the first. Most translations are found at the author's notes at the end of the chapter. That is if they weren't identrified and translated in parenthesis at the first mentioned
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Old 2012-06-06, 11:10   Link #36529
Justin_Brett
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So does that mean you didn't do it in the first story, but did in the second? There's no point to that, pretty much every Japanese word has an english equivalent you could use.
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Old 2012-06-06, 11:16   Link #36530
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Originally Posted by Justin_Brett View Post
So does that mean you didn't do it in the first story, but did in the second? There's no point to that, pretty much every Japanese word has an english equivalent you could use.
First story i started using it when I started to use the anime as reference.. I'm switching back to english with a japanese nick-name thrown in every now and then, but the german that's used. that's gotta stick because that's the language the Belkan devices speak

Also.. on another note.. these two stories are my first ones.. I'm still really new to this... so any tips would be greatly appreciated

Last edited by SonicNanohaFan2012; 2012-06-06 at 12:28.
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Old 2012-06-06, 15:33   Link #36531
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Well one advice would be that if you are going to use another language, don't do what you did. Partly because it might break the flow and partly it might distract the reader a little too much. Now and again is fine.

In instances where, say, the Book speaks, you can mention the language the first time it speaks. An example would be:

"Commencing," the book acknowledged in German as the pages turned.

or something similar, keeping it in English. It might look stilted but it's much easier to follow (IMO). For the lyrics, eh... Just use English tbh. You're writing for an English audience. It's just needless noise. Remember, you're writing fiction, not a song. Or something.

Hope it helps.
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Old 2012-06-06, 15:37   Link #36532
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Originally Posted by NorthernFallout View Post
Well one advice would be that if you are going to use another language, don't do what you did. Partly because it might break the flow and partly it might distract the reader a little too much. Now and again is fine.

In instances where, say, the Book speaks, you can mention the language the first time it speaks. An example would be:

"Commencing," the book acknowledged in German as the pages turned.

or something similar, keeping it in English. It might look stilted but it's much easier to follow (IMO). For the lyrics, eh... Just use English tbh. You're writing for an English audience. It's just needless noise. Remember, you're writing fiction, not a song. Or something.

Hope it helps.
Yeah. Thanks for that.. I also have a habit of using inserts and BGMs.. not really sure if that's a good idea but I was trying to go for being able to set up a picture. Any pointers on the story itself?
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Old 2012-06-06, 15:44   Link #36533
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Originally Posted by SonicNanohaFan2012 View Post
Yeah. Thanks for that.. I also have a habit of using inserts and BGMs.. not really sure if that's a good idea but I was trying to go for being able to set up a picture.
I have used this occasionally, but usually for not-so-serious shorts, though I see what you are trying to do. It's quite hard so I don't have much pointers, other than looking at how other authors have done it.

An example that comes to mind is Night Watch by Lukyanenko. In his books, he at times spells out the lyrics for a song (In English, in the translated versions) using this format:

Character does something.

Centered text with lyricsCentered text with lyrics

Character does something (mention music, nodded along, what have you).

That might be one way of doing it, but it's still hard. use it sparingly.

Quote:
Any pointers on the story itself?
And no, it was just a quick look. I'm not interested in most, if any, fanfics, bar things I can easily spot. I'm not really good at it either so I'll keep to the structural stuff.
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Old 2012-06-06, 15:46   Link #36534
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Originally Posted by NorthernFallout View Post
I have used this occasionally, but usually for not-so-serious shorts, though I see what you are trying to do. It's quite hard so I don't have much pointers, other than looking at how other authors have done it.

An example that comes to mind is Night Watch by Lukyanenko. In his books, he at times spells out the lyrics for a song (In English, in the translated versions) using this format:

Character does something.

Centered text with lyricsCentered text with lyrics

Character does something (mention music, nodded along, what have you).

That might be one way of doing it, but it's still hard. use it sparingly.


And no, it was just a quick look. I'm not interested in most, if any, fanfics, bar things I can easily spot. I'm not really good at it either so I'll keep to the structural stuff.
Thanks, I'll keep the advice in mind for future chapters.
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Old 2012-06-06, 18:38   Link #36535
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Anyone else hate FF.Net's new formatting?

Numbers

SSX 1-15

SSX 16

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - SSX 17:
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Old 2012-06-06, 18:45   Link #36536
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Anyone else hate FF.Net's new formatting?

Numbers

SSX 1-15

SSX 16

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - SSX 17:
It's been bugging you too? I thought they were doing something when they started with the image uploader thing.. The format I just noticed when I checked on how my story was looking.. and quite frankly it's bugging the heck out of me. What the heck are they doing?
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Old 2012-06-06, 18:52   Link #36537
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Hopefully Arashi didn't herp when he should've derped. *dodges tomatoes*

On another note...Ixy. ;___;
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Old 2012-06-06, 19:06   Link #36538
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Unhappy

To be honest, I did read a bit of Blood that Flows on Fanfiction.. but my attention span shorted out and I can't seem to catch up to it and I lost track... Humor was funny.. a bit dirty funny but funny.. sadly.. I find myself unable to actually be able to read the story any more. Nothing against Nanya, I just can't keep up with the story anymore
Sorry
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Old 2012-06-06, 19:23   Link #36539
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SonicNanohaFan2012 View Post
To be honest, I did read a bit of Blood that Flows on Fanfiction.. but my attention span shorted out and I can't seem to catch up to it and I lost track... Humor was funny.. a bit dirty funny but funny.. sadly.. I find myself unable to actually be able to read the story any more. Nothing against Nanya, I just can't keep up with the story anymore
Sorry
Nanya-muse: You're a horrible person and I hate you! *Runs off crying*
DC-muse: oh please, you don't hate 'em.
Nanya-muse: ...You're right. No problem, if you can't keep up, just read the tropes page. *Giggles*
DC-muse: Ugh, this is why we don't go out in public.
Nanya-muse: I thought that was because your legs never want to work.
DC-muse: GUH! Stop saying stuff like that!!!

Anyway, yeah, it's fine, it *IS* a long story and I've been working on it for two years constantly...

You don't need to hurry up and catch up. If you want to read, just take your time.

If not, that's fine. It's not like I'm the only one posting... On... This... Board...

... Waaaait.

But, seriously, it's okay. At least you're better about it than some other people would be.
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Old 2012-06-06, 19:30   Link #36540
SonicNanohaFan2012
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Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Nanya-muse: You're a horrible person and I hate you! *Runs off crying*
DC-muse: oh please, you don't hate 'em.
Nanya-muse: ...You're right. No problem, if you can't keep up, just read the tropes page. *Giggles*
DC-muse: Ugh, this is why we don't go out in public.
Nanya-muse: I thought that was because your legs never want to work.
DC-muse: GUH! Stop saying stuff like that!!!

Anyway, yeah, it's fine, it *IS* a long story and I've been working on it for two years constantly...

You don't need to hurry up and catch up. If you want to read, just take your time.

If not, that's fine. It's not like I'm the only one posting... On... This... Board...

... Waaaait.

But, seriously, it's okay. At least you're better about it than some other people would be.
I did follow it when I first caught wind of it, it was interesting, humorous.. didn't really like some parts.. but still kept going.. unfortunately... attention span cut me off and I can't just jump right back in.. what miffed me was Alicia being a mazoku thing.. then again I brought her back as a hero in mine.. so I can't give too fair of a comparison.. still sorry that I'm unable to read any more of it
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