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Old 2013-04-18, 06:21   Link #38041
Tiresias
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Join Date: May 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Filraen View Post
Inspired by "Life after Hayate", I imagine that depending on the planet, people may have some legends of the Wolekritter's deeds, picturing them as terrible monsters and murder machines.
Legends, not history. I imagine it would be less Vlad Tepes and more Vlad the non-sparkling Vampire.

And let's not forget how...different...the historical portrayal of a certain Old Belkan ruler and the actual person can be *cough* Ix *cough*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
And my question is: Why does it have to be Shirou? He can just ask Zelretch/Touko for a favor, which lead to him being away to complete said favor.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi View Post
Because I like Shirou and wanted him in the story, what other reason is there in writing fanfiction? Besides do you really want Zelretch to get involved... again. That Zelretch Did It got a bit old...
Oh I fully agree about Zelretch. But that still leaves Touko...
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Old 2013-04-18, 06:22   Link #38042
Andarkoshi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vic-vic View Post
Well, there is a pucture where he got pamperd in bed by Double Nano.
Can you imagine Yuuno/Shtern/Nanoha babies or wedding (hope it wouldn't be shotgun one ).
Shotgun no, sword/magical staff yes with Dearche and Shirou Takamachi being Very insistent on Yuuno taking responsibility XD

Quote:
Still, I admit that seeing Shiro going on Man of Steel rote is saddening. After all he not only betray his ideals, but he commit same mistake as Kiritsugu: Fate/Zero show us how bad any attempt to pull out Punisher would end. Heck, aren't Archer's fate is wonderful dispaly of this.

Though, I barely have any right to disagree with your idea of giving Nano characters a complicated relationship in family.

Since in my own crossover...
That was the only way to make him a good father. He wasn't Mind of Steel initially but the world slowly broke him like it did his father... In the end though Shirou avoided one mistake his father committed. He picked his family and stuck to them instead of trying to go back to his ideals.

I had an alternative scenario for this story. Shirou didn't leave Precia and stayed with her after she got hurt. With time Alicia was born, then he protected her from the Incident and the girl lived.

Several years later Fate was born as a second daughter rather than a clone of Alicia. Thus during the canon series when Nanoha and Yuuno fought some strong Jewel Seed monster the one who came to their rescue was some 6-10 years older Fate all dashing and Heroine-in-shining-armor.

Spoiler for GotB spoiler:
[/QUOTE]

Oh dear, getting Nanoha involved in THAT particular backstabbing family. Now that's just plain crazy XD
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Old 2013-04-18, 06:25   Link #38043
Andarkoshi
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Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
Yeah, and Shirou Saves The Girl also is. Look, you know that I like Shirou too, considering I was in the EC back in it glory days. But this and that are different. There's a limit to how much he can do you know.
Well as I said many times I tried to make the things believable. You people here are giving me some good ideas and insights but... it's kinda discouraging when instead of advice I get stuff like "I won't read it sorry" or "It's Silly". It really kinda discourages me.

Tiresias

Well as I said, this is Nano, not Nasu. There are no magi or anything around here.
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Old 2013-04-18, 06:27   Link #38044
Tiresias
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vic-vic View Post
Man of Steel
I didn't know Shirou wore his red underwear on the front

Quote:
After all he not only betray his ideals
Actually, no, it is choosing the girl over the people that would have been "betraying his ideas." That's the bad thing about choosing to become a hero, the choices sucks.

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aren't Archer's fate is wonderful display of this.
After his death, just a reminder. He's pretty optimistic about it even when he's about to be executed.
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Old 2013-04-18, 06:31   Link #38045
Lhklan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi View Post
Well as I said many times I tried to make the things believable. You people here are giving me some good ideas and insights but... it's kinda discouraging when instead of advice I get stuff like "I won't read it sorry" or "It's Silly". It really kinda discourages me.

Tiresias

Well as I said, this is Nano, not Nasu. There are no magi or anything around here.
Yeah, but it's still too far on the side of Unbelieavable. For me anyway. The FFN fans might like it though.

@vic vic

Shirou, Kiritsugu and Archer never betrayed their ideals. It's the other way around. Kiri had to pick between family and ideals, while Archer got the shitty deal of the contract AFTER he's death. He was still pretty optimistic even when he's about to be executed.

If you want to talk about Shirou betraying his ideals, think HF Normal or True.
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Old 2013-04-18, 06:42   Link #38046
Andarkoshi
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Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
Yeah, but it's still too far on the side of Unbelieavable. For me anyway. The FFN fans might like it though.
Well I'll write it, I'll post it and then I'll probably get crucified because of people being picky about rules.

Now WHAT exactly, in fine detail, do you find Unbelievable?
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:04   Link #38047
Lhklan
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@Andarkoshi
The Avalon thing for one. gabe get away with it because at least in In Flight, Saber was still around for 3 years, so it stand to reason that Shirou would at least know it. But here, Shirou went without it for 5+ years, then he got send to another world. Pretty sure his image of Avalon would disappear by now, even if it's still inside of him. (He didn't even know about it during the 10 years between the 4th and 5th, remember?)

The other is how ... fast he broke. He lived longer than Archer, yes, but considering that Archer had to go around killing lord knows how many people during his time as a Counter Guardian, and how many time he had to do it, I don't see him breaking down that easily. Also, since this is, as you said, after UBW route, he should have know where his ideals could lead him. Plus, Rin would have been there to help him. And killing Sakura isn't enough to break him.

Then there's just how OOC Sakura is. She was in love with him for a long time, yet she didn't say anything at all. Hell, she knew she wasn't worthy of him, it was when he accepted her that things start to go south, since all her insecurities pour out.
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:06   Link #38048
vic-vic
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Quote:
Shotgun no, sword/magical staff yes with Dearche and Shirou Takamachi being Very insistent on Yuuno taking responsibility XD
I really doubt that Yuuno need to be forced to marry Nanoha and Shtern.

I think it would be lie that:

Shiro: Yuuno-kun, ceremony is still not end, plese restrain yourself from kissing the brides. *Que his daughters throw angry glares at him*

Quote:
Oh dear, getting Nanoha involved in THAT particular backstabbing family. Now that's just plain crazy XD
Spoiler for GotB stuff:


Quote:
Well as I said many times I tried to make the things believable. You people here are giving me some good ideas and insights but... it's kinda discouraging when instead of advice I get stuff like "I won't read it sorry" or "It's Silly". It really kinda discourages me.
*Wave "Don't give up flag furioucly"*
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:10   Link #38049
Kireen
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi View Post
Well I'll write it, I'll post it and then I'll probably get crucified because of people being picky about rules.
[Prepares nails and cross.] Well, let's see how you're going to handle things before deciding how to react. [Contacts carpenter for a cross customized for tentacle monsters.]

Anyway, found this while cleaning my HD, decided to give it a shot again cause my lessons are boring. Please don't kill me if it sucks.

Spoiler for Operation Wingemen:
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:23   Link #38050
vic-vic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kireen View Post
Spoiler for Operation Wingemen:
Bwa-ha-ha, wow! Nice start Kireen, I hope there would be a Nanoha's report too. Would be even funnier if Chrono join again.

Quote:
I had an alternative scenario for this story. Shirou didn't leave Precia and stayed with her after she got hurt. With time Alicia was born, then he protected her from the Incident and the girl lived.
Oh, I like this variant better - since Precia and fate would be free from suffering and gice Shiro a happy life he also so deserved. Maybe add Rin here... you know, if Vivio had two mommas, why Fate, Alicia and Levi shouldn't.
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:29   Link #38051
Andarkoshi
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Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
@Andarkoshi
The Avalon thing for one. gabe get away with it because at least in In Flight, Saber was still around for 3 years, so it stand to reason that Shirou would at least know it. But here, Shirou went without it for 5+ years, then he got send to another world. Pretty sure his image of Avalon would disappear by now, even if it's still inside of him. (He didn't even know about it during the 10 years between the 4th and 5th, remember?)

The other is how ... fast he broke. He lived longer than Archer, yes, but considering that Archer had to go around killing lord knows how many people during his time as a Counter Guardian, and how many time he had to do it, I don't see him breaking down that easily. Also, since this is, as you said, after UBW route, he should have know where his ideals could lead him. Plus, Rin would have been there to help him. And killing Sakura isn't enough to break him.

Then there's just how OOC Sakura is. She was in love with him for a long time, yet she didn't say anything at all. Hell, she knew she wasn't worthy of him, it was when he accepted her that things start to go south, since all her insecurities pour out.

Okay here we go.

Spoiler for Backstory:
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:30   Link #38052
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I seem to come in late to these things all the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi View Post
Well I'll write it, I'll post it and then I'll probably get crucified because of people being picky about rules.
You are in need of a means to have Shirou fix Alicia and Precia without relying on Ye Olde Zelretch trope?

I do have an idea or two that may help things along. Both are really extensions of A Jewel Seed did it though. However those are a bit less WTF owing to them being Lost Logia and not a For the Lulz device.

One is pretty much what was done in a teaser by... I believe it was Fraggle or Daneel Rush on the Beast's Lair forums. Namely Shirou and the MGLN gang, possibly just Yuuno while they're going Indiana Ferret or something (I cannot quite remember), run into a Lost Logia and it throws Shirou back in time. It was mostly set up with the snippets spawned of Mahou Senki Lyrical Days though, so it had background.

The other is a modification of that idea which requires less background. Jewel Seeds rely on the wishes of others to activate. Or at least when they go out of control. And I doubt they all wound up in Uminari so conveniently. Hence we have one or two land in Fuyuki or wherever Shirou is at the time. They go off of Shirou's (I'd suggest Fate or UBW Route here and an older Shirou to avoid the shotacon issues) desire to save others. Because it is such a warped an powerful desire, the Seeds do their dimensional shattering dance of plot relevance and hurl him through time and space where he meets Precia.

Extra bonus points if you manage to have Shirou be the father of Alicia and avoid the entire incident. Rewriting history is a valid way of saving someone. Even if they never knew it.

I just woke up. XD
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:37   Link #38053
Andarkoshi
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Originally Posted by Old_Iron View Post
I just woke up. XD
Heh I know that bit XD

Well the thing is that I don't want Nasu and Nano together, I want them separated.

Jewel Seeds themselves and using them to Save people will actually come up in my story even Before Fate appears and it will be firmly established that it is a BAD idea to use them.

As for Shirou staying and saving Alicia, while I love this idea there are some reasons why it would mess with my story.

For one thing the Nasu-lovers would complain (like they do now) that Shirou broke too easily and abandoned his ideals.

For another I have something specific in mind. I don't want to start off with a happy go lucky story. I want the drama, Shirou, Fate, Precia all being broken and hurt and then I want them to slowly recover from their mental problems.
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:47   Link #38054
Lhklan
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Long answer is long, due to Andarkoshi and Old Iron's answer being long too.

Spoiler for First, the Eldritch Abomination:


Spoiler for "Next, the Forge:
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:49   Link #38055
Kireen
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Originally Posted by vic-vic View Post
Bwa-ha-ha, wow! Nice start Kireen, I hope there would be a Nanoha's report too. Would be even funnier if Chrono join again.
Thanks, And i'm currently working on the Nanoha and Hayate ones. As for Chrono, he'll probably show up again...maybe...
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:51   Link #38056
Tiresias
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Join Date: May 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kireen View Post
Spoiler for Operation Wingemen:
"You know what this is?! This is a MAN EMERGENCY!!"
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:53   Link #38057
Andarkoshi
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Quote:
First, the Eldritch Abomination

Spoiler for Backstory:
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Old 2013-04-18, 07:54   Link #38058
Lhklan
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@Kireen
Eh, you failed at the Kirei line. It should have been short, precise but delivered dramatically. Like this: "Rejoice, Yuuno Scrya. Your wish shall finally be granted tonight."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi View Post
Spoiler for Backstory:
Yeah, but what about BEFORE he went to Nano? Not to mention, since he have Rin and Saber, he'll definitely try to come back to them.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... I tried. Sorry, I tried.
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Old 2013-04-18, 08:00   Link #38059
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andarkoshi View Post
Well the thing is that I don't want Nasu and Nano together, I want them separated.
Hmm... That makes for a very, very tough order to fill. By separated, do you mean to have the various events and magic separated. IE: No White Devil in the Grail War and Shirou can't use Nanoverse magic?

I ask because having Shirou save Precia and Alicia during the events of Season 1 and fixing them requires an insane amount of effort done in a very short amount of time while having Shirou involved from the beginning. And if it's an older Shirou, then you're going to likely sart having some very Nasu solutions pop up in the nanoverse world.

Quote:
Jewel Seeds themselves and using them to Save people will actually come up in my story even Before Fate appears and it will be firmly established that it is a BAD idea to use them.
Ah, that's a good call if you want to avoid that route then.

Quote:
As for Shirou staying and saving Alicia, while I love this idea there are some reasons why it would mess with my story.

For one thing the Nasu-lovers would complain (like they do now) that Shirou broke too easily and abandoned his ideals.
Bah, having Shirou abandoning his ideals and doing it right is an absolute goldmine of character development and story meat if done right. Go look at Daneel Rush's Days series. He does a really good job of it, with a comedic angle at many times, and it may help inspire a few ideas for you.

But if it doesn't work for your story, don't worry about it. Just don't worry too much about Shirou abandoning his ideals for someone who isn't Sakura because the Nasu fans won't like it. Simply make sure that if you do have him abandon them, you do your absolute best at it.

Quote:
For another I have something specific in mind. I don't want to start off with a happy go lucky story. I want the drama, Shirou, Fate, Precia all being broken and hurt and then I want them to slowly recover from their mental problems.
I think I see where you're going with this. I believe I missed something important when I jumped in. XD

The issue then becomes having Precia not die and taken into custody of some sort rather than Shirou offing her to save Fate or something of the sort.

Hmm... Might I get back to you on this? I must prepare for work. XD
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Old 2013-04-18, 08:03   Link #38060
Andarkoshi
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Originally Posted by Lhklan View Post
@Kireen

Yeah, but what about BEFORE he went to Nano? Not to mention, since he have Rin and Saber, he'll definitely try to come back to them.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... I tried. Sorry, I tried.
Spoiler for Backstory:
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