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Old 2009-10-01, 14:42   Link #16341
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yuiseppe View Post
Engage delurk. Omake of an omake, presents I, together with apologies from The Hand for shoddy work - it's been getting rusty.

Spoiler for An Ix sleeps tonight:


I envy Ix because she gets to sleep :'<
:l ove:
:l ove:
:l ove:
:l ove:

That is all.

Page claim: For Yui.

Last edited by TheShinySword; 2009-10-01 at 15:05.
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Old 2009-10-01, 16:27   Link #16342
NorthernFallout
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And as such, the exploration of Wallachia begins further. The shorts following this will NOT be a rehash of every other short with her (knock out, devoure, laugh + gore). I'm going to explore more, doing stuff different but keeing her in the center and telling more backstory while at the same time giving her character development.

Oh and excuse the first part of this. I couldn't write romance even if my life depended on it so it's cheesy as hell.

Spoiler for A Girl and Her Vengeance:
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Old 2009-10-01, 18:57   Link #16343
Nanya01
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While RadiantBeam and I work on chapter 21, I posted Motions to FF.Net.
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Old 2009-10-01, 19:56   Link #16344
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicoX View Post
And as such, the exploration of Wallachia begins further. The shorts following this will NOT be a rehash of every other short with her (knock out, devoure, laugh + gore). I'm going to explore more, doing stuff different but keeing her in the center and telling more backstory while at the same time giving her character development.

Oh and excuse the first part of this. I couldn't write romance even if my life depended on it so it's cheesy as hell.

Spoiler for A Girl and Her Vengeance:
That was rather disturbing.

I liked it, though.
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Old 2009-10-01, 22:32   Link #16345
Nanya01
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Hey guys...

It's that time again...

RadiantBeam and I are proud to present...

Day in the Life

Chapter 21

"Triangle Hearts"

Which should clue some of you in onto one of the characters that are going to show up.

Oh, and there's an OC. Bonus points if you guess where this one's from. XD

Also, long chapter is insanely long! Multiple post chapter ahead!

Spoiler for Triangle Hearts:
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Old 2009-10-01, 22:33   Link #16346
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Part 2.

Spoiler for Triangle Hearts PT II:
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Old 2009-10-01, 22:34   Link #16347
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Part 3

Flood control annoys me. :-/

Spoiler for Triangle Hearts PT III:


Spoiler for Notes:
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Old 2009-10-01, 22:52   Link #16348
Satashi
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I am still working on my longer lemon (since it has a story too), but to tide people over until its release, I did a small NanoFate "loving moment" based off of a really nice picture I found. If anyone is interested in seeing a really nice nsfw image and the fic I based off of it (more romantic than ecchi) then send me a PM and I'll give it to you ^_^
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Old 2009-10-01, 23:10   Link #16349
Jimmy C
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Also, I need to go back and add some details, this took so long to write.
Try a lot of details. This fic was mostly single sentence back-and-forths between characters with two or three sentence description of locations and actions every 20 or 30 lines. It felt more like reading a transcript than a story to me.
I get the impression that you're writing as if you're holding a camera and fliming the scenes. Sometimes, but not always, it may be useful to include descriptions of places, actions or expressions of characters when they're talking to each other. Helps build up the scenes.
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Old 2009-10-01, 23:12   Link #16350
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy C View Post
Try a lot of details. This fic was mostly single sentence back-and-forths between characters with two or three sentence description of locations and actions every 20 or 30 lines. It felt more like reading a transcript than a story to me.
I get the impression that you're writing as if you're holding a camera and fliming the scenes. Sometimes, but not always, it may be useful to include descriptions of places, actions or expressions of characters when they're talking to each other. Helps build up the scenes.
*Nods* I know. I know. I will be adding details, boy, it's going to be a lot to add, probably another two pages to it.

Edit: Believe me, details hit me as we wrote it out. *Sighs* A LOT of stuff to edit and add in. Oh well, that's what I get for being a writer.
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Old 2009-10-02, 12:48   Link #16351
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Hey, I like! Action, conspiracy, mature relationship drama... It has some hints to BtBR, and finally the ShamalxMiyuki thing is going somewhere

I actually think the opposite about the details...a bit more detail would be nice, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with the short dialogue. Most readers can fill in the gaps on their own, and you guys do a good job of putting in little descriptions or words that keep the reader picturing what you want us to picture. That's good writing there
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Old 2009-10-02, 13:11   Link #16352
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Quote:
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It has some hints to BtBR
You said what now?
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Old 2009-10-02, 13:34   Link #16353
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
You said what now?
FiassexMiyuki eh? ^^
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Old 2009-10-02, 13:40   Link #16354
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FiassexMiyuki eh? ^^
I couldn't resist. XD
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Old 2009-10-02, 16:55   Link #16355
Nijiru
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Finished what I posted a bit of earlier. I know it could use a bit more polish, but I'll still post it here.

Spoiler for Welcome to TSAB politics:
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Old 2009-10-02, 17:09   Link #16356
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Mmm, Day in the Life is certainly getting interesting.

I must excuse myself from the creation of fanworks, Nanoha or otherwise, while I put my nose to the grindstone on my own book. It's never going to get finished if I don't work on it, after all.

For those interested in knowing about the story, it's basically my take on horror, but replacing the usual stupid, useless bit of fluff that passes for horror heroines with a capable Action Girl. Having a lot of fun with it so far. ^^;
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Old 2009-10-02, 17:22   Link #16357
TheShinySword
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So it's Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

And in Nanoha news my life seems to be calming down so I can write more someone for everyone~
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Old 2009-10-02, 17:27   Link #16358
SulliMike23
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Buffy and Nanoha...now there's an interesting idea.
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Old 2009-10-02, 17:28   Link #16359
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SulliMike23 View Post
Buffy and Nanoha...now there's an interesting idea.
Just keep her away from Fate please <3
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Old 2009-10-02, 17:36   Link #16360
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Quote:
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Just keep her away from Fate please <3
lol! Nah, I'm sure Nanoha can convince Buffy that Fate's like Angel.
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