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Old 2009-10-11, 05:46   Link #16721
Rika23onROOF
meow~ give me cookies~
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: cat cage, meow~
Em...hello.

I'm Rika and a new person here. I've been wondering around in animesuki for few hours earlier on and I really like it here. So em...hello and please to meet everyone here.

-0/////0- (urge to run away)
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Old 2009-10-11, 06:24   Link #16722
Re-Hikari
nana~
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
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oooo, we got a shy person here ^^

Don' worry, they're all nice people around I myself joined not too long ago (although, I'll admit that's not reason to not having posted anything in ages orz) so yeah, just make yourself at home~
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Old 2009-10-11, 06:29   Link #16723
PhoenixG
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Backyard of Moriya shrine
Age: 29
I guess wan will like Rika. She is also quite shy

if you didn't know yet, we got a chat channel at #fanfic_lounge@irc.mibbit.net and #outercadia@irc.mibbit.net.
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Old 2009-10-11, 06:31   Link #16724
XenahortCharybdis
does whatever he wants.
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atop a hill of words.
Aye, wan will. A kindred spirit, indeed.

Welcome, Rika, to our little Pet Shop of Nanoha Fan Fiction: Staves, Spells, Sense, Sensualities, Snark, Sages, Sagas and Schadenfreude are our trademark material...but a Cat Is Fine Too.

Hope you enjoy your stay
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Old 2009-10-11, 06:35   Link #16725
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rika23onROOF View Post
Em...hello.

I'm Rika and a new person here. I've been wondering around in animesuki for few hours earlier on and I really like it here. So em...hello and please to meet everyone here.

-0/////0- (urge to run away)
*glomps shy person* hiiii~ Welcome! Enjoy your stay <3 if you need anything you can ask me, or look at the links under my signature for help ^^
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Old 2009-10-11, 07:15   Link #16726
Ottocycle
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It's cute that nearly everyone who delurks does it in the Fanfic thread. The welcoming atmosphere, perhaps.
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Old 2009-10-11, 07:46   Link #16727
Rika23onROOF
meow~ give me cookies~
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: cat cage, meow~
>////////<

Thank so much everyone!! As a start here is a little short from me.

Spoiler for NxF:
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Old 2009-10-11, 08:39   Link #16728
MeisterBabylon
~ Ping For Effect ~
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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~Cherish it, and never forget it, lest the utopia be lost~

It's little wonder that I'm retiring in FFT country too. Welcome Rika.
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Old 2009-10-11, 10:18   Link #16729
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rika23onROOF View Post
>////////<

Thank so much everyone!! As a start here is a little short from me.

Spoiler for NxF:
Pretty cute. It seems to jump around a bit and the sentences are short in certain parts, but over all it was a fun little read.
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Old 2009-10-11, 13:37   Link #16730
TheShinySword
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Newcomer huh, *staaaaaaaaaaaaares* Well you seem like coolbeans Rika of the long screenname. Welcome
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Old 2009-10-11, 13:43   Link #16731
DezoPenguin
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Maine
Age: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rika23onROOF View Post
>////////<

Thank so much everyone!! As a start here is a little short from me.

Spoiler for NxF:
Ahhh, fresh meat. *drools* I mean...um...er...welcome, newbie!

Cute little short. A little rough in places ("disappointment" rather than "disappointed" tone, for example), but it put a smile on my face.
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Old 2009-10-11, 13:54   Link #16732
TheShinySword
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Oh I forgot to comment on that piece, thanks for the reminder there Dezo.

Not gonna give anything indepth 'cause it's so short but basically there are grammar errors up the heazy and they really stick out. They're mostly tense errors but there are a couple of typo errors too (yu instead of you at one point really stood out. Also when doing dialog remember it's, "Blah blah blah," said person A. You need to use a comma instead of a period in the quotations.

If you ever have a grammar question please PM me. :3 the short was cute just needs to have the grammar kinks eased out.
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Old 2009-10-11, 13:59   Link #16733
Rika23onROOF
meow~ give me cookies~
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: cat cage, meow~
Emm...I forgot to mention something.

My FF.Net http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1494479/Rika23onROOF

There is one story there that's called Black and White. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5429750/1/Black_and_White

Here is a little preview of the story
"Nanoha Takamachi."

Nanoha didn't turn, Fate looked over her shoulder. It was a group of TSAB mage, each carrying their magic staff and aimed it at the two black figure.

"Under the name of Time-Space Administration Bureau, you are to come with us and-"

He couldn't finish his words due to Fate intense glare, Nanoha chuckled as she released her grasped from Fate's hand.

"Fate-chan, I'm tired. Finish them off for me please."

Fate knew Nanoha was lying, she wasn't tired. She never will. Nanoha was very powerful, more powerful than Precia, Jail, Reinforce and herself. Nanoha was the type to watch rather than participate. But even so, she would always comply to her wish.

"Yes, Nanoha."

Fate readied her device, "Bardiche."

[Yes Sir.]

Bardiche reload one cartridge and the battle axe soon turns into a scythe, the blade made out of electricity.

[Hakken form!]

(>/////<) That's all.
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Old 2009-10-11, 14:02   Link #16734
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Oh I forgot to comment on that piece, thanks for the reminder there Dezo.
I live to serve.

Quote:
Also when doing dialog remember it's, "Blah blah blah," said person A. You need to use a comma instead of a period in the quotations.
You know, that's got to be the most common grammatical error I've seen recently, but oddly enough I've only really noticed it existing over the past couple of years. I'd seen fics which were riddled with mistakes in past years, but never did that one.

Specifically, I'm speaking of the following construction:

"That's right." Said Nanoha to Fate.

It's the combination of a period rather than a comma inside the quotation mark, and a capital letter for the sentence fragment detailing who was taking the action. I'm wondering if it might be because more and more word processors autocorrect the first lowercase letter after a period into a capital letter? In this way, the writer makes one mistake (using the period rather than the comma) and the software chains a second mistake off of it.
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Old 2009-10-11, 14:11   Link #16735
Keroko
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rika23onROOF View Post
Emm...I forgot to mention something.

My FF.Net http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1494479/Rika23onROOF

There is one story there that's called Black and White. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5429750/1/Black_and_White
*scratches head* Well... that last story was... quite bad, to be honest. You say it isn't completely AU, and yet you have Nanoha creating a clone of Precia, you made her more powerful than Reinforce (who has been the most powerful character we have seen in the show so far) make her the ruler of Al Hazard, a place the TSAB isn't even sure of exists at all, have her create a clone of Reinforce... I'm having a really hard time seeing what isn't totally AU about this.

I'd like to hear the reason just why Nanoha went totally over the evil edge as well. Right now the story makes no sense no matter how you approach it.
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Old 2009-10-11, 14:19   Link #16736
itanshi1
Writer, Jester, MtG nerd
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Nanoha Used Car Dealership. RERISE!
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o.o hahaa sounds like any given khrack story (including mine) condensed into a can of soup, no offense :P

I'm sure a good brain storm session with one of the regulars will give your ambition lots of food and love for the sake of the story.
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Old 2009-10-11, 14:29   Link #16737
AdmiralTigerclaw
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Join Date: Jan 2008
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From the votes recieved for Cradle Battle, the objective is A.


Spoiler for Cradle Stage One-B!:
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Old 2009-10-11, 14:40   Link #16738
Keroko
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw View Post
From the votes recieved for Cradle Battle, the objective is A.


Spoiler for Cradle Stage One-B!:
Hmm, toughie. 3 minutes before we reach our target, and 20 seconds to respond... With all the buzz I'm pretty sure Quattro is already well aware of us. Just to double-check, but do we have any form of identification that'll clear us?
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Last edited by Keroko; 2009-10-11 at 15:07.
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Old 2009-10-11, 15:01   Link #16739
Hekate
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: New York
Age: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw View Post
From the votes recieved for Cradle Battle, the objective is A.


Spoiler for Cradle Stage One-B!:
TIME TO FIRING RANGE: 3:45... 3:44... 3:43...

If we're going to use our nukes safely, we'll need to get our mages out of there. A, respond to the hail hopefully without revealing our cargo and ask them to retreat out of the blast.
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Old 2009-10-11, 15:42   Link #16740
AdmiralTigerclaw
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*DUN-DUN DUN DUN!*
You are engaged in an unauthorized-
*DUN-DUN DUN DUN!*
You are engaged in an unauthorized-
*DUN-DUN DUN DUN!*
You are engaged in an unauthorized-
*DUN-DUN DUN DUN!*
Remain, where you are.

^_^;


Well, Keroko, you have exactly what I said before. No proof of anything until you actually engage.

As far as your vehicle goes, there should be hints of just what you have onboard if the sophistication of your communications equipment is anything. If the comm system is sophisticated, what about the rest of the systems? I won't give any secrets, but you can put your imagination to work.

Also, I should mention as a small hint. For all its worth, threats to shoot people down are only effective if they CAN shoot people down. You'll get a threat of being shot down from anyone manning an IADS.


By the way... time to firing range is just that. Time to effective firing range where you can shoot. Doesn't mean you HAVE to shoot. It's just when you can first engage the cradle directly with your munitions.
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