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Old 2009-10-15, 10:48   Link #17061
spawnofthejudge
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Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
AlternativeS (Everything... I want to know what my wife is like.)
That's one of the scenes I thought of, though you skipped over it, so I may get to write it anyway . Still love it, though I wonder where the d*ck came from, and why Fate prevented his existence.

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Slate blue eyes
*giggles*

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Last edited by spawnofthejudge; 2009-10-15 at 13:26.
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Old 2009-10-15, 11:48   Link #17062
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Oh good, some fellow Asura Cryin' watchers

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Originally Posted by al103 View Post
Do not understand why female. It was never said that burial doll must be female.
I know it's never said they must be female, but all the Burial Dolls we know are indeed female. So while using male Yuuno could still work, I wanted to use a female one anyways.

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Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
To be honest, AC is more Tomo/Misao than Tomo/Kanade, so your fic would feel more Nanoha/Yuuno to me than Nanoha/Fate. But I think that's just ship-fighting, so don't let that stop you. Where would the rest of the harem come from, though? Like Shuri... you need a Shuri...
Hm, any suggestions as to who from season 1 could fill the Shuri role? But the fic isn't going to be "Asura Cryin' with Nanoha characters", but "Nanoha, with Asura Machina instead of magic staffs." NanoFate will make things more interesting, because while Chrono and Lindy may fight side by side with them against Precia, they'll take steps to prevent that from happening.
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Old 2009-10-15, 12:51   Link #17063
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
I know it's never said they must be female, but all the Burial Dolls we know are indeed female. So while using male Yuuno could still work, I wanted to use a female one anyways.
Because what Nanoha needs is an even larger Women-to-Men ratio
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Hm, any suggestions as to who from season 1 could fill the Shuri role? But the fic isn't going to be "Asura Cryin' with Nanoha characters", but "Nanoha, with Asura Machina instead of magic staffs." NanoFate will make things more interesting, because while Chrono and Lindy may fight side by side with them against Precia, they'll take steps to prevent that from happening.
Well, what are you doing with Alisa and Suzuka? Arf? Ooo, Arf...
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Old 2009-10-15, 12:53   Link #17064
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Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
Because what Nanoha needs is an even larger Women-to-Men ratio
Well, child!Yuuno and child!Chrono were voiced by girls...
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Old 2009-10-15, 12:54   Link #17065
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Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Well, child!Yuuno and child!Chrono were voiced by girls...
So's Bart Simpson; most male children are voiced by female actors.

...Or did you want me to say "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
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Old 2009-10-15, 13:11   Link #17066
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Well, child!Yuuno and child!Chrono were voiced by girls...
Not to mention adult Yuuno is still voiced by a girl, too.

I love me some Kaori Mizuhashi. Her White Len is especially awesome.

So yeah, not much of a stretch for me to see Yuuno as female. But come to think of it, Chrono will be the only male in the fic with an actual role. Alisa, Suzuka and the rest of the Takamachis will have the same background support role.

And Arf, yeah. That she'll be a daughter is obvious.
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Old 2009-10-15, 13:24   Link #17067
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Not to mention adult Yuuno is still voiced by a girl, too.

I love me some Kaori Mizuhashi. Her White Len is especially awesome.

So yeah, not much of a stretch for me to see Yuuno as female. But come to think of it, Chrono will be the only male in the fic with an actual role. Alisa, Suzuka and the rest of the Takamachis will have the same background support role.

And Arf, yeah. That she'll be a daughter is obvious.
If you don't give Shiro or Kouya any screentime at all, you can make it just Chrono, if that's the direction you're going.
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Old 2009-10-15, 13:32   Link #17068
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I've recently begun writing a Nanoha fic (with about 4 chapters and a prologue so far), and am looking for some proof-readers. Ideally, some who go chapter-by-chapter, while some who are aware of the plot and can point out possible holes.

It'll be a continuation off the end of Strikers, but probably a bit of AU, as I'll be ignoring the Force and Vivid manga for now (mainly since their story isn't complete, although I may incorporate some of the concepts later). It'll be action/adventure/drama/etc., pretty much trying to keep a similar feel to the anime.

Would you want me to post some here before getting a feel for it? Also, where do you guys recommend for posted completed and proof-read chapters? Fanfiction.net is the obvious one, but I don't have much knowledge of that, as to whether it's good or not.
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Old 2009-10-15, 15:10   Link #17069
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
I've recently begun writing a Nanoha fic (with about 4 chapters and a prologue so far), and am looking for some proof-readers. Ideally, some who go chapter-by-chapter, while some who are aware of the plot and can point out possible holes.

It'll be a continuation off the end of Strikers, but probably a bit of AU, as I'll be ignoring the Force and Vivid manga for now (mainly since their story isn't complete, although I may incorporate some of the concepts later). It'll be action/adventure/drama/etc., pretty much trying to keep a similar feel to the anime.

Would you want me to post some here before getting a feel for it? Also, where do you guys recommend for posted completed and proof-read chapters? Fanfiction.net is the obvious one, but I don't have much knowledge of that, as to whether it's good or not.
FF.N is the most popular. Also feel free to post your whole chapters here and everyone who wants to can pick at it and offer advice. I know an "inside source who knows the whole plot" can offer more advice, but if you can't find someone, chances are you'll get 2-5 people here commenting on your story regardless.
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Old 2009-10-15, 15:13   Link #17070
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Old 2009-10-15, 15:46   Link #17071
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Not to mention adult Yuuno is still voiced by a girl, too.

I love me some Kaori Mizuhashi. Her White Len is especially awesome.

So yeah, not much of a stretch for me to see Yuuno as female. But come to think of it, Chrono will be the only male in the fic with an actual role. Alisa, Suzuka and the rest of the Takamachis will have the same background support role.

And Arf, yeah. That she'll be a daughter is obvious.
Alternatively, you could just up how feminine Yuuno is to the point that he is effectivly a Trap Which I feel would cause a load of laughs in scenes.

On another point, out of what you've actually posted - Sexy As Sin is your best work and criminally undereviewed.
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Old 2009-10-15, 16:01   Link #17072
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Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Oh good, some fellow Asura Cryin' watchers
I've been meaning to watch Asura Cryin', but I'm cursed with both no internet at home and limited computing power since my desktop kicked the bucket.

Thus, I have to use my eeePC for everything now, and the 900MHz Celeron-M just doesn't have the guts to properly play HD h.264. Sigh.

I am interested in your crossover plotbunny, though. I should really get around to writing my Gundam 00 crossover with Hayate as the main character...

Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Not to mention adult Yuuno is still voiced by a girl, too.

I love me some Kaori Mizuhashi. Her White Len is especially awesome.

So yeah, not much of a stretch for me to see Yuuno as female. But come to think of it, Chrono will be the only male in the fic with an actual role. Alisa, Suzuka and the rest of the Takamachis will have the same background support role.

And Arf, yeah. That she'll be a daughter is obvious.
female!Yuuno is... well, doesn't really look all that different. But that doesn't make her less cute.

I usually prefer ferret-boy as a guy, though. He's always been one of my favorite MGLN characters. I was so annoyed when StrikerS put him on a bus. ><
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Old 2009-10-15, 16:03   Link #17073
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
FF.N is the most popular. Also feel free to post your whole chapters here and everyone who wants to can pick at it and offer advice. I know an "inside source who knows the whole plot" can offer more advice, but if you can't find someone, chances are you'll get 2-5 people here commenting on your story regardless.
Alright, well, I guess I'll start here, then. Note that the title is merely a working title. I'm bad at titles, but the story kinda wrote itself in my head. Prologue and Chapter 1 for right now. I'll post the other chapters I have done in the next few days, depending on how much these are torn apart.

Spoiler for Prologue:


Spoiler for Chapter 1: Destiny Begins to Move Again:
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Old 2009-10-15, 16:18   Link #17074
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Alright, well, I guess I'll start here, then. Note that the title is merely a working title. I'm bad at titles, but the story kinda wrote itself in my head. Prologue and Chapter 1 for right now. I'll post the other chapters I have done in the next few days, depending on how much these are torn apart.

Spoiler for Prologue:


Spoiler for Chapter 1: Destiny Begins to Move Again:
Interesting, very interesting! I like it.

Spoiler for thoughts:
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Old 2009-10-15, 16:36   Link #17075
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Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Alright, well, I guess I'll start here, then. Note that the title is merely a working title. I'm bad at titles, but the story kinda wrote itself in my head. Prologue and Chapter 1 for right now. I'll post the other chapters I have done in the next few days, depending on how much these are torn apart.

Spoiler for Prologue:


Spoiler for Chapter 1: Destiny Begins to Move Again:
I like it. The only issue that I can possibly see is when Suzuka said that their linker cores were like "most other people's on earth: inactive."

From what I can figure, most people on Earth don't have Linker Cores at all. Doesn't mean you can't have Arisa and Suzuka's theory for why their Linker Cores became inactive; just that you might have to alter that specific line to exclude other people.

Otherwise I enjoyed the story immensely.
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Old 2009-10-15, 17:58   Link #17076
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@Satashi: I'm trying very hard not to get TOO attach to AlternativeS. So PLEASE do more if not I'll cry....

*sniff*

Anyway, in other news, Alavon has found a NanoFate Fanfic from a LONG time ago... and for some strange reason, has not posted it up. So here's the preface...

Spoiler for Animal Instincts: Preface:

Last edited by Alavon; 2009-10-15 at 18:16.
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Old 2009-10-15, 18:24   Link #17077
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
That's one of the scenes I thought of, though you skipped over it, so I may get to write it anyway . Still love it, though I wonder where the d*ck came from, and why Fate prevented his existence.

*giggles*
Why not do an official spin off of my fic? I don't mind if you want to write in its storyline at all ^_^
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ETA: Oh, right, Page Claim.

I say... Page Claim for Satashi reading other people's fics
Don't get used to it I have enough on my plate just writing XDD



Quote:
Originally Posted by Alavon View Post
Satashi, I'm trying very hard not to get TOO attach to AlternativeS. So PLEASE do more if not I'll cry....

*sniff*
Funny how Alternatives wasn't meant to be more than two parts long before I just tossed it aside

I'm trying hard not to get attached to it as well. I want to post the final chapter of Amber (It's 60% complete and I wrote on it today) before I remake the first chapter (parts 1-6) of AlternativeS.

I have a looooooooong post pointing out flaws that I have to correct before its offical FF.N release.

........and I want to finish redemption so I can write Resurrection too.

Do you guys prefer my posting in parts or just waiting till I have a chapter done? Like do you prefer like I do AlternativeS (Small segments every day/other day) or like I do Amber Dreams (post a completed chapter when its done).
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Old 2009-10-15, 18:26   Link #17078
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
I like it. The only issue that I can possibly see is when Suzuka said that their linker cores were like "most other people's on earth: inactive."

From what I can figure, most people on Earth don't have Linker Cores at all. Doesn't mean you can't have Arisa and Suzuka's theory for why their Linker Cores became inactive; just that you might have to alter that specific line to exclude other people.
I don't know if it's specifically said anywhere, and I'll modify the story if so. This won't be too important, it's just that if humans on earth had activate linker cores, there would be some who would learn to use it, possibly becoming strong mages. Since we don't see that in this world (or it's just well-hidden), I chose to leave them as inactive. It would be another reason why the Wolkenritter went after creatures on other worlds mostly (besides dodging the TSAB).

But like I said, I can change it if canon holds it to something more specific, as it's not too important.

Otherwise, I'm glad it mostly seems to be good so far.

And yes, Yuuno will be an important character, syn. :P I tend to like all the characters of a series, and the more unique, the more I want them included. Even if I don't like a particular character, if they are interesting and unique enough, I'll include them. It's partly why I gave Arisa and Suzuka some magic: to make them more interesting (though I've only just revealed the tip of the iceberg).

I'll go ahead and throw up chapter 2 for now:

Spoiler for Crisis, Chapter 2: Converging Paths:
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Old 2009-10-15, 18:35   Link #17079
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@Satashi: I prefer that you do small segments every day/other days. But its your call. ^_^ I think it's easier since you're doing multiple stories and you'll at least have the outline when you come back and fix up AlternativeS.
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Old 2009-10-15, 19:13   Link #17080
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And yes, Yuuno will be an important character, syn. :P I tend to like all the characters of a series, and the more unique, the more I want them included. Even if I don't like a particular character, if they are interesting and unique enough, I'll include them. It's partly why I gave Arisa and Suzuka some magic: to make them more interesting (though I've only just revealed the tip of the iceberg).

I'll go ahead and throw up chapter 2 for now:

Spoiler for Crisis, Chapter 2: Converging Paths:
Spoiler for thoughts:
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