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Old 2009-10-30, 17:39   Link #18181
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
And another short from yours truly! Co-written with Deathcurse this time around. Basically we've had this short RP going back and forth in PM for awhile with Vivio and Lutecia, and Vivio made a comment about how she convinces Lutecia to snuggle with her to relax. We then wondered, and this was born.

I apologize if it jumps around a bit.

Spoiler for Routine (slight NSFW):


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


Writing with DC was fun.
I'm amazed that such a long piece came from a tossaway comment! And don't worry, last few lines were pretty much identical to the original version .

Writing with RB's a blast! .
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Old 2009-10-30, 17:49   Link #18182
Kaijo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
My problem with this is that he's a father. I can't see a father (unless he hated the relationship in the first place) agreeing to do anything of the sort to his children, even if he was ordered. I'd see Genya quitting the TSAB before he'd do something like that, since he really loves his kids.
Probably. I was thinking more along the lines of: he was given the information that they were blood-related, and told that it might look bad for the department, then he might split them up. Perhaps less "ordered" and more "subtly pushed" into doing what he's doing.

He wouldn't have necessarily been told that the higher-ups wanted the cyborgs to make babies with males.
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Old 2009-10-30, 18:39   Link #18183
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
And another short from yours truly! Co-written with Deathcurse this time around. Basically we've had this short RP going back and forth in PM for awhile with Vivio and Lutecia, and Vivio made a comment about how she convinces Lutecia to snuggle with her to relax. We then wondered, and this was born.

I apologize if it jumps around a bit.

Spoiler for Routine (slight NSFW):


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


Writing with DC was fun.
X3 awwww So nice

.... but there were a few lines in there...

Spoiler for And the Kaiser did say...:


Spoiler for Note:
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Old 2009-10-30, 19:05   Link #18184
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Save Vivio! Or else I'll be forced to write about Vivio's Happy Days Of Fun Fun with Jail and the Numbers. *still thinks it would be lol if somehow Fate's being there meant Jail turned out not to be such a bad guy. Butterfly effect yo.*
XD Yes, Shiny, please! The title of that alone is pure win!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Probably. I was thinking more along the lines of: he was given the information that they were blood-related, and told that it might look bad for the department, then he might split them up. Perhaps less "ordered" and more "subtly pushed" into doing what he's doing.

He wouldn't have necessarily been told that the higher-ups wanted the cyborgs to make babies with males.
I still don't think that he'd do it because "it might look bad for the department"...maybe that it might traumatize them to find out that they were related? I'm not totally disagreeing with you, but I think that Genya's motives would have to be purely for the best interests of his kids, otherwise he really could care less. That's my thinking on it, anyhow .

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
X3 awwww So nice

.... but there were a few lines in there...

Spoiler for And the Kaiser did say...:


Spoiler for Note:
OMG Shiny, I love you! XD. I laughed like a nut, and if my roommates didn't already know that I was a little nutty they would have looked at me weirdly!
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Old 2009-10-30, 19:14   Link #18185
Nijiru
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Old 2009-10-30, 19:30   Link #18186
kaname08
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
So its NanoFate? What's Shiro got to do with anything?

I can definitely see the Spoonful influence here.



Spoiler for omake?:


I loved it :3 really cute and funny!
He basically acts as a guinea pig first in terms of the usage of the pill. In short...his partner accidentally slips one of them in his drink. Later his partner explains what happened to Shamal. It is THERE when Nanoha overhears about it and vice versa.
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Old 2009-10-30, 21:32   Link #18187
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post

Spoiler for And the Kaiser did say...:
Spoiler for For you, Shiny.:


Quote:
He basically acts as a guinea pig first in terms of the usage of the pill. In short...his partner accidentally slips one of them in his drink. Later his partner explains what happened to Shamal. It is THERE when Nanoha overhears about it and vice versa.
So its a Fate/Nanoha bunny fest?
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Old 2009-10-30, 22:15   Link #18188
NeoSlicerZ
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I was reading the latest book in the Malazan Book of the Fallen and this... came to me. Guess I see Hayate as a Bonecaster/Shield Anvil and used that concept, not a crossover and yes, the Gladiator OST was playing.

Spoiler for One shot:
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Old 2009-10-30, 23:09   Link #18189
kaname08
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for For you, Shiny.:


So its a Fate/Nanoha bunny fest?
For the most part. However...I might just add what happened between Shiro, Mizuki, and her older sister at the end, but for the most part...yes...it's mainly a Fate/Nanoha bunny fest.
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Old 2009-10-31, 10:53   Link #18190
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
And another short from yours truly! Co-written with Deathcurse this time around. Basically we've had this short RP going back and forth in PM for awhile with Vivio and Lutecia, and Vivio made a comment about how she convinces Lutecia to snuggle with her to relax. We then wondered, and this was born.

I apologize if it jumps around a bit.

Spoiler for Routine (slight NSFW):


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


Writing with DC was fun.
Poor Vivio got shot down in her advances :3 Nice writing, I generally never cared for Lutecia/Vivio but this is cute ^_^
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Old 2009-10-31, 13:49   Link #18191
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Okay, guys and girls!

It's that time again!

RadiantBeam and I have completed...

Day in the Life

Chapter 28

Ginga

PS: With all apologies to Genya fans out there.

Spoiler for Ginga:


Spoiler for Notes:


And, wow, only 1 post this time! o_o A shocking rarity!
Heh...this must have been soothing to RB's soul after all the fluffy ViCia stuff she's been doing lately!!

I have to say, though, Genya's motivations kind of confuse me, not so much in the general terms but in the specific.

For example, it's pretty clear that he's not worried about the genetic issues concerning a potential Ginga/Nove child. Any offspring of such a union would have to come through some variant of genetic engineering technology, and it would certainly be possible to adjust for any potential defects caused by the mingling of their specific genetics.

And similarly, Ginga and Nove were never raised as sisters (indeed, they were never together at all, so they're "sisters" only in a genetic sense, not even in a "separated at birth" kind of direct-biological sense) so there's no question of the emotions involved. Indeed, Wendi and Nove would be the pair more likely to invoke the Westermark Effect and not be interested in one another sexually; it can, however, be attributed to Jail's highly unconventional upbringing of the Numbers that they wouldn't form a bond of that kind so this can be shrugged off.

In any event, that leaves only the gut-instinct reaction of Genya to the incest taboo in the Oedipus-and-Jocasta, "it's wrong because it's wrong!!" sense of things. But if he was so squicked by that concept, I'd have thought he'd want to stop what was happening between them right away, immediately, right from the first, preferably before they end up in bed together. The "hoping they'd break up naturally" reasoning doesn't apply if his motivations were an objection to the fundamental concept. If he has a moral objection to incest (heh, I love how in a discussion like this we can toss the word "if" into that sentence as if that was the dubious side! ) then he shouldn't be really thinking, "Well, okay, you can bang your sister a few times then break up with her, and that's okay, but I don't want it becoming something permanent!"

I suppose that he could have been concerned, not so much on a moral level, but for the potential problems that could be created if they were in a permanent relationship and that information fell into other, hostile hands. A lesbian menage-a-trois is an unusual enough relationship by itself without adding incest to the mix; it's a pretty good bet that the "sexual deviant" label would get slapped on them very, very fast by their political enemies and they could kiss their future career hopes good-bye. "But...but we weren't raised together!" works fine for the audience of fics and for close friends and family, but not so much for the person in the next cubicle or whom you're talking sports with at the water cooler. In that case, the break-up would solve most of the potential problems.

In that case, though, it doesn't make sense that he didn't tell them why he wanted them to break up until more or less roped into it (yay, smart friends!).

Now, there is one possible motivation which explains both the nine-month wait and his reluctance to expose them to the truth: that he wasn't squicked by the incest per se, and that he wasn't concerned about outsiders, but that as a father his real worries were the psychological shock and impact on Ginga and Nove if they were to find out. Going back to Oedipus again, we may all recall that Jocasta's reaction on finding out that she'd married her son was to go and hang herself. Now, that is the kind of thing that a father would definitely be afraid of. It would explain why he'd want to let things die out on their own first (because he was aware that if he did try to butt in, then exactly the kind of hurt and suffering that ensued would happen, and he didn't want to cause that), and why he wouldn't tell them why he wanted the breakup (because having them mad at him was fine, having them despondent over their own relationship, not fine--that is, he was willing to be the object of their anger rather than let them suffer). The only down side there is that if that was where he was coming from, then he'd have fought Tea and Teela harder... It also explains why he picked on Ginga to be the odd one out; it didn't really matter to him which sister got left out of the relationship so long as one did, but not only does his word carry more weight with Ginga she's also far more well-adjusted, psychologically, than Nove and therefore more able to deal with the breakup without having Wendi around to comfort her.

Subaru, Tea, and Teela were all great in this chapter, of course. And you as authors get huge props for having Ginga treat this like a serious issue and deciding to take some time to think things over before coming to a conclusion instead of simply saying, "Of course I'll stay with you!" or "Heck, I've always had an incest fetish but Subaru would never go for it"
I really enjoy seeing characters take serious issues seriously and not have the solutions be quick and easy (again, the fact that Wendi and Nove did have the quick reaction speaks to their lack of emotional maturity, factors which are very suited to the Numbers as they've been established).

All in all, a very effective chapter, with the heartstrings not just tugged, but yanked out of the chest, mounted on a violin, and sad, lamenting music played on them.
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Old 2009-10-31, 13:52   Link #18192
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
All in all, a very effective chapter, with the heartstrings not just tugged, but yanked out of the chest, mounted on a violin, and sad, lamenting music played on them.
It was my idea.
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Old 2009-10-31, 14:10   Link #18193
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
It was my idea.
Angsty girl is angsty!
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Old 2009-10-31, 14:12   Link #18194
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DezoPenguin View Post
Angsty girl is angsty!
I call myself the Angst Addict for a reason.
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Old 2009-10-31, 17:04   Link #18195
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Okay, guys and girls!

It's that time again!

RadiantBeam and I have completed...

Day in the Life

Chapter 28

Ginga

PS: With all apologies to Genya fans out there.

Spoiler for Ginga:


Spoiler for Notes:


And, wow, only 1 post this time! o_o A shocking rarity!
... I tried. I really did. I've been restraining myself ever since the 'injured Yuuno' scenario, but with all this delicious Nakajima drama I couldn't hold back from throwing in Eden with a little bit of my own writing any more.

Spoiler for Calling the wayward daughter:


Short, I know, but it was all I could manage at these late hours.
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Last edited by Keroko; 2009-10-31 at 17:58.
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Old 2009-10-31, 19:19   Link #18196
synaesthetic
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In a vain attempt to re-ignite my writing spark which has been very, very dead, I present to thee... a short! A snippet! A little piece of Reborn: A Magical War Chronicle for your general consumption!

Spoiler for Holy crap Batman, it's a Nena short!:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
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Old 2009-10-31, 19:53   Link #18197
DezoPenguin
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Happy Halloween, everyone! Here's a (hopefully) amusing ghost!Arisa short to celebrate with while you're all horking down candy (and if you're not in a country that celebrates Halloween...heck, hork down candy anyway! ).

Spoiler for Should've Noticed the Lack of Sparkles:



Spoiler for Author's Notes:
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Old 2009-10-31, 20:14   Link #18198
SulliMike23
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Happy Halloween folks, and I hope things go well for everyone.
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Old 2009-10-31, 20:26   Link #18199
Rising Dragon
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... no vampire!Fate from Satashi to mark the occasion?? No new Bag Brothers?? I guess I'll have to go read Spinel Heart and V!F again...
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Old 2009-10-31, 20:31   Link #18200
DezoPenguin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by synaesthetic View Post
In a vain attempt to re-ignite my writing spark which has been very, very dead, I present to thee... a short! A snippet! A little piece of Reborn: A Magical War Chronicle for your general consumption!

Spoiler for Holy crap Batman, it's a Nena short!:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:
Good short! Really, the only thing I have trouble with is Fate's lack of response to Nena killing the comm officer. Obviously, this is taking place within the context of a "people are getting killed out here" war setting rather than a police action where standards apply, but...she's Fate, after all; she's adopted Nanoha's ethics not so much as ethical standards in and of themself but as articles of faith. Of course, since I haven't read the last couple of chapters of the major fic since you announced it was going to rewrite, for all I know, that particular bridge has been crossed already...

Stuff I like:

A Yuuno sighting! (Though, um, his name's still "Scrya"--it just sounds like it ought to be "Scryer") Better yet, a Yuuno sighting in which he's been given a nice, juicy research mystery to sink his teeth into; I'm interested already.

Chrono! Heh, for obvious reasons, I approve completely of Chrono being the guy sending out missions with a pragmatic attitude. Of all the franchise characters, he's the one I'd consider best suited for the running of an actual, y'know, war.

I loved the bit where the lieutenant was thinking about how the attacking mage would have to stop to unleash anything to seriously hurt him. Here's a solid case of somebody who just isn't used to dealing with extreme-ranked mages (which, to be fair, are supposed to be a lot rarer than we actually see them in the series): I can think of examples off the top of my head where Nanoha, Chrono, and Signum have all stacked attacks in advance.

I'm intrigued by the team's armor and communications technology, grounded in mundane science rather than magic but obviously operating in the sci-fi scale of operations. Clearly there's a story there I'd be interested in hearing more about.

Thanks for posting, and glad to hear the writing urge is back!
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