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Old 2009-11-24, 21:20   Link #21281
Kogetsu Shirogane
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At least it's going somewhere. This place was dead for over 24 hours.
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... that's... not a doughnut...
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Old 2009-11-24, 21:54   Link #21282
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WORK HARDER KAISOS

OR HARUHISTARE WILL GET YOU
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Old 2009-11-25, 00:13   Link #21283
scify
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I just... wow. I think that broke me.

I'd like to say I'll get some more edits done soon... and I might, but if I do, it'll be as a stress break from the ohgodmypresentationisnextweekandIstillhaven'tfinis hedmygoddamnpaper.

what the hell i'm doing edits to relax i'm screwed aren't i?

So, um... yeah. Oh, I never commented on that last scene, did I? It was good. I liked seeing the narrative of the Suzumiya life as told by Haruki. It helped me get a much better feel for exactly how you were planning him out, Kaisos.
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Old 2009-11-25, 00:16   Link #21284
SgtHydra
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scify View Post
I just... wow. I think that broke me.

I'd like to say I'll get some more edits done soon... and I might, but if I do, it'll be as a stress break from the ohgodmypresentationisnextweekandIstillhaven'tfinis hedmygoddamnpaper.

what the hell i'm doing edits to relax i'm screwed aren't i?

So, um... yeah. Oh, I never commented on that last scene, did I? It was good. I liked seeing the narrative of the Suzumiya life as told by Haruki. It helped me get a much better feel for exactly how you were planning him out, Kaisos.
I'd like seeing this just for the heck of it.

I mean Haruhi is pretty easy to go by... being original flavor and all...

But to me, and perhaps a few others I suppose, Haruki seems little more than a Kamina expy.

Be better if it were more than that.

So yeah... short story request second'd.
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Old 2009-11-25, 00:37   Link #21285
Kaisos Erranon
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Originally Posted by SgtHydra View Post
I'd like seeing this just for the heck of it.

I mean Haruhi is pretty easy to go by... being original flavor and all...

But to me, and perhaps a few others I suppose, Haruki seems little more than a Kamina expy.

Be better if it were more than that.

So yeah... short story request second'd.
Eh. You did read the last scene, right?

It's pretty much a short fanfic, if you take out the CourierText, and, in fact, that was the form I originally wrote it in.

He's not just a Kamina expy... that's an mask he puts on.

There's a reason we kept the name "Melancholy"...
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Old 2009-11-25, 01:34   Link #21286
Ekul
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But Kamina had faith in Simon because he had no faith in himself. He may have been manly, but he was also insecure underneath. So... yeah. It wasn't as important to the plot, but he was melancholic in his own way.

Granted, they are still quite different. Kamina is insecure about himself, Haruki is bored with everyone else.
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Old 2009-11-25, 01:52   Link #21287
Kogetsu Shirogane
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The only reason Haruki doesn't have that aspect is because Mitsuuru is the closest he has to a Simon, and... well, you know.
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... that's... not a doughnut...
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Old 2009-11-25, 03:01   Link #21288
Kaisos Erranon
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Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post
The only reason Haruki doesn't have that aspect is because Mitsuuru is the closest he has to a Simon, and... well, you know.
Haruki is also much, much more, uh, "secure in his sexuality" than Kamina ever was. In fact, Kamina was a homophobe... now, put Haruki and Leeron in a room together, and...

Actually, that's a very amusing idea.

Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5: After Noon- A Glorious Day/ Outside- Flagless:


Refer to flowchart for how this works.

I'll be doing the Haruhi subscenes first, so look forward to that.

I know this is short, I'm sorry, I am very, very tired.
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Last edited by Kaisos Erranon; 2009-11-25 at 03:18.
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Old 2009-11-25, 03:06   Link #21289
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More fridge talk, huh?
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... that's... not a doughnut...
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Old 2009-11-25, 03:11   Link #21290
Aebliss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scify View Post
And then we find out that Aebliss's story is actually canonical for the VN and Makuro is messing with people for the LOLs. Or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
I refuse to use OCs beyond plot devices like Director Koizumi, even if they are awesome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heatth View Post
We could use as a cameo, somehow. She is awesome, after all.
Awww, I've been gone this long, and people still love my story that much? ^^ Thanks, guys. Now I'm going to have to finish it soon.
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Old 2009-11-25, 06:07   Link #21291
SgtHydra
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Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Eh. You did read the last scene, right?

It's pretty much a short fanfic, if you take out the CourierText, and, in fact, that was the form I originally wrote it in.

He's not just a Kamina expy... that's an mask he puts on.

There's a reason we kept the name "Melancholy"...
Oh, I'm sorry then.

Being a noob bites.

Which "last scene" are we talking about?

I'm pretty bad at keeping track of the various works of this forum.
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Old 2009-11-25, 06:09   Link #21292
Kaisos Erranon
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Originally Posted by SgtHydra View Post
Which "last scene" are we talking about?

I'm pretty bad at keeping track of the various works of this forum.
The one entitled "Flashes in Space (Restlessness/Melancholy)".

I'll link it to you later, when I'm not in dire need of rest.

In the meantime...

Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5, Haruhi: Streets of Nishinomiya- Lonesome:


I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it.

Now I'm going to pass out.

See, this is why I don't do this too often.
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Old 2009-11-25, 07:10   Link #21293
Aebliss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
The one entitled "Flashes in Space (Restlessness/Melancholy)".

I'll link it to you later, when I'm not in dire need of rest.

In the meantime...

Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5, Haruhi: Streets of Nishinomiya- Lonesome:


I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it.

Now I'm going to pass out.

See, this is why I don't do this too often.
Heh heh, well done! I know I enjoyed it. ^^
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Old 2009-11-25, 14:56   Link #21294
Kaisos Erranon
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Originally Posted by SgtHydra View Post
Which "last scene" are we talking about?

This one.


Also, no posts? Not even in my morning? Seriously?
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Old 2009-11-25, 15:07   Link #21295
Aebliss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post

This one.


Also, no posts? Not even in my morning? Seriously?
o_o I'm invisible now?
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Old 2009-11-25, 15:08   Link #21296
Kaisos Erranon
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o_o I'm invisible now?
Not you. Thank you, by the way.

I was just expecting more responses... Maybe later today.
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Old 2009-11-25, 15:41   Link #21297
wittyusername
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
The one entitled "Flashes in Space (Restlessness/Melancholy)".

I'll link it to you later, when I'm not in dire need of rest.

In the meantime...

Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5, Haruhi: Streets of Nishinomiya- Lonesome:


I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it.

Now I'm going to pass out.

See, this is why I don't do this too often.
Awesome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Haruhi: Easy. I know you never leave your house unless you can help it.
I can picture an OOC stalker!Haruhi hiding behind bushes outside Kyon's house, making notes on his behaviour. She'd organize the data into charts and get Yuki to make spreadsheets for her. If there were too many occasions of unusual behavior, she'd...well, she'd accuse Kyon of being replaced by the bodysnatchers.
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Old 2009-11-25, 16:53   Link #21298
GDB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5, Haruhi: Streets of Nishinomiya- Lonesome:


I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it.

Now I'm going to pass out.

See, this is why I don't do this too often.
One thing that might be an interesting way to spice this scene up is to expand the idea that she's being stalked a little. For example, when she thinks Kyon's been replaced by a body-snatcher, she could get a little excited that she's being stalked. Possibly wondering if she's the next target, or if she's been considered a danger to their cause because she knows about them, etc. Then lead into her attacking Kyon.

Also, any particular reason why you had her attack his "solar plexus"? I don't think many people know what that is, and it seems like a very odd thing for someone to think is being attacked. Most people would probably claim their stomach or gut was attacked.
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Old 2009-11-25, 17:17   Link #21299
Jintor
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Spoiler for September the Sixth, Day 5: After Noon- A Glorious Day/ Outside- Flagless:


Meh.

Editing is le boring.
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Old 2009-11-25, 20:01   Link #21300
dragon4dudes
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Those were great Kaisos. And I cannot think of anything else that Haruhi has only revealed to Kyon.

Also, people have posted.
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