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Old 2008-06-11, 13:56   Link #10321
Aebliss
Story Master
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagedanji View Post
Egads, the hair is manageable?
Kuyoh is an alien interface with data manipulation abilities. She can probably rearrange her hair from the atomic level upwards if she wants to ... Heyyy, now I understand why she has so much of it! If worse comes to worst, she has enough raw material to simulate an H-bomb and wipe out the enemy in a suicide strike! ^^
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Old 2008-06-11, 14:30   Link #10322
DJ_RockmanX
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I've edited the first post for the first time in forever. Tell me if I missed something.
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Old 2008-06-11, 14:45   Link #10323
kenjiharima
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Sunday hair problems... XD
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Old 2008-06-11, 14:46   Link #10324
fishy_hylian
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Join Date: May 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagedanji
Remember to replace male features with female ones... O_O What program was this made in?
Would you mind telling me which aspects you think need changing? I know the neck and shoulders need to me made slighter and more feminine...

Also, I've sketched this up in PhotoShop - god bless layers! (But I have a cleaner version of this animation in the image thread, which you've seen anyway.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

My arms were clutching a pillow, which was covered in my saliva. I immediately threw it aside.

*****

“Really?” Haruki's grin quickly returned to his face. “I had the best dream ever.”
These two sentences made me lol XD
Congrats on completing the first novel!


Quote:
"I'm actually not into bookish guys at all. I like strong men, who can sweep me off my feet and protect me from danger."
Maybe you could make some reference to a 'Knight in Shining Armor'? I'm not sure if you want to keep the description of a man who sweeps a woman off her feet and protects her, or if a simple 'I'd like a man who'd be my Knight in shining armor' would suffice?

Quote:
That's why I changed the name slightly to the "Assisting the Student Council in Changing the World Association" (abbreviated as the SOS Brigade), and I altered the club's activities summary to "providing all sorts of consultation services to any problems people may encounter at school, and to actively participate in local community services".

[Editor's note: Acronym doesn't work lol. Need fix plz.
I'm not a wizard with words... but I tried to see if I could at least find some words that could be used to try and keep the SOS brigade abbreviation...

Assisting - Supporting
Change - Orientation
Association - Society?

I couldn't find a suitable replacement word for 'world' that would fit in there I'm afraid... also, when you use the word 'orientation' to comes off as referring to sexuality rather than activism XD!
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Old 2008-06-11, 15:40   Link #10325
Fumeiryou
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Woah, in two days that I don't get to access the internet, so much has happened... 0.o

Everything is different now... welcome, kenji, Myssa, (haven't seen you before, sorry if you're not new) by the way... (Yay for Touhou!)

Also, it seems that a lot of random stuff has happened while I was gone.
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Last edited by Fumeiryou; 2008-06-11 at 15:52.
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Old 2008-06-11, 17:55   Link #10326
Discreet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
*snip*

There. It's done. Finally done.

Now it's 2:30 in the morning and I need sleep. Goodnight, everyone.
Applause.

I'll get to editing now.
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Old 2008-06-11, 18:26   Link #10327
Roger Rambo
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Kaisos, could we consolidate all the Volume one chapters? Right now they're scattered all over the thread.
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Old 2008-06-11, 18:51   Link #10328
Kaisos Erranon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fishy_hylian View Post
These two sentences made me lol XD
Congrats on completing the first novel!
Glad to know that I did my job right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fishy_hylian View Post
Maybe you could make some reference to a 'Knight in Shining Armor'? I'm not sure if you want to keep the description of a man who sweeps a woman off her feet and protects her, or if a simple 'I'd like a man who'd be my Knight in shining armor' would suffice?
Actually, that last works. Thanks.



Quote:
Originally Posted by fishy_hylian View Post
Assisting - Supporting
Change - Orientation
Association - Society?

I couldn't find a suitable replacement word for 'world' that would fit in there I'm afraid... also, when you use the word 'orientation' to comes off as referring to sexuality rather than activism XD!

What about the Supporting the Student Council in Organizing the School SocietyBrigade?

I guess I can blame Kyon-chan's unoriginality and use that one.

Unless someone has a better suggestion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Discreet View Post
Applause.

I'll get to editing now.
Thanks, I'll look forward to it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Rambo View Post
Kaisos, could we consolidate all the Volume one chapters? Right now they're scattered all over the thread.
This post.
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Old 2008-06-11, 18:54   Link #10329
Kogetsu Shirogane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Spoiler for Kuyoh ponytail:
First one reminds me of Midna from TP... not sure why... (Not saying that's a bad thing, mind you)
Second one takes away every negative thought or statement I've ever had regarding Kuyoh... there's no way I could dislike someone that overwhelmingly cute


Also... umm... yeah, go with "Brigade" as the last word, otherwise it still can't really be shortened to "SOS Brigade" (Okay... apparently you made the change already)
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... that's... not a doughnut...

Last edited by Kogetsu Shirogane; 2008-06-11 at 19:06.
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Old 2008-06-11, 19:58   Link #10330
Cat Megex
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane View Post
First one reminds me of Midna from TP... not sure why...
Perhaps it's the use of hair as a weapon?

EDIT: Another character who it reminds me of: Yami, from To LOVE-Ru
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Last edited by Cat Megex; 2008-06-11 at 20:48.
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Old 2008-06-11, 20:01   Link #10331
Discreet
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Chapter 7 part 3, changes in bold, notes underlined.

Spoiler:


Not much to comment on, actually. Nothing that needs to be hotly contested by me.

Oh and Itsuko is great, I love the line about giving birth. There were some moments where she seemed to have more of Itsuki's flamboyant playfulness style rather than her dainty playfulness and I tried to adjust to that. Other than that, everything seems good.

And now, from what I've heard of the final chapter, there'll be a lot of edits that I'll be scrutinizing like a HAWK. Because I am a fascist.
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Old 2008-06-11, 20:23   Link #10332
Kaisos Erranon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discreet View Post
Chapter 7 part 3, changes in bold, notes underlined.

*snip*

Not much to comment on, actually. Nothing that needs to be hotly contested by me.

Oh and Itsuko is great, I love the line about giving birth. There were some moments where she seemed to have more of Itsuki's flamboyant playfulness style rather than her dainty playfulness and I tried to adjust to that. Other than that, everything seems good.

And now, from what I've heard of the final chapter, there'll be a lot of edits that I'll be scrutinizing like a HAWK. Because I am a fascist.
On your first note: Really? I didn't know that. Awesome.

On your second: Favorite. Story. Of course she'd contemplate on it.
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Old 2008-06-11, 20:39   Link #10333
shaoron
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
Like these?

Spoiler for Kuyoh ponytail:





Thanks.
great.. i suddenly have the urdge to look for a spirte of Millia Rage and edit it to be kyonko...
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Old 2008-06-11, 20:48   Link #10334
Discreet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon View Post
On your first note: Really? I didn't know that. Awesome.
It's theoretical and completely chance-based, you could still end up with all retarded kids.
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Old 2008-06-11, 21:03   Link #10335
Kaisos Erranon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discreet View Post
It's theoretical and completely chance-based, you could still end up with all retarded kids.
Isn't there a chance of ending up with retarded kids with a normal relationship anyway?
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Old 2008-06-11, 21:14   Link #10336
Discreet
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Incest raises that chance considerably.

So no, to all those who are wondering, it will never work out between Kyon and his Imouto.

The theory I'm talking about still keeps the same chance of getting a retarded kid in incest, but it raises the chance of the successive generations of humanity from NOT being retarded.
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Old 2008-06-11, 21:22   Link #10337
Kaisos Erranon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discreet View Post
Incest raises that chance considerably.

So no, to all those who are wondering, it will never work out between Kyon and his Imouto.

The theory I'm talking about still keeps the same chance of getting a retarded kid in incest, but it raises the chance of the successive generations of humanity from NOT being retarded.
Ah, right, I see what you mean.
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Old 2008-06-11, 21:49   Link #10338
beanbrew
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Incest. That's a new discussion for us. (Not counting selfcest).
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Old 2008-06-11, 22:13   Link #10339
shaoron
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beanbrew View Post
Incest. That's a new discussion for us. (Not counting selfcest).
how the heck do you even do selfcest!? have a sex change operation and then travel back in time!? *facepalm*
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never run around is my body, never desert you is my blood
unknown to telling lies, nor known to hurting you
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Old 2008-06-11, 22:14   Link #10340
Jintor
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Shaoron: Were you here for the KyonxKyonko doujin discussion? :3
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