AnimeSuki Forums

Register Forum Rules FAQ Members List Social Groups Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   AnimeSuki Forum > Anime Discussion > Older Series > Haruhi Suzumiya

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 2008-03-11, 07:59   Link #1401
Jintor
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Land Down Under
Age: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by NejinOniwa View Post
Well, it's true that it's hard on you to suddenly switch between the two, but in my edits I've tried using the same style as Baka-Tsuki, since I just think it's both too much to rewrite otherwise, as well as unnecessary editing that might not even come out well at all - while I'm quite used to writing in long paragraphs with my other works, I feel that for this writing style it works better with the original way...
I'm going for a mix. I can retain most of the paragraph-style prose but I've edited most of the dialogue to flow better to western eyes. It's difficult but not impossible. It may seem like a lot to edit, though, but I assure you that is a small price to pay for readability.

A lot of Kyon's dialogue is, imho, timing... and the best way to replicate that is proper paragraphing and spacing. We need to keep that paragraph prose.

Baka-Tsuki sticks to the prose because, and I have had this quoted at me, Baka-Tsuki aims to be accurate, not readable. As an entirely separate fan-project, I believe that we're aiming to be readable, not accurate. (Accuracy is, of course, encouraged.)

I'll do the relevant editjobs when Kaisos gets on the case. This will get a lot harder once we break out of chapter three... I don't have preprepared stuff I can compare Kaisos's stuff to, I'll be working on semi-originality again. (Joy!)

I agree with Dkellis's stuff about Kyonko's reception to Yuuki, Mitsuru, Asakura and Haruki. I also think it's wonderful that a good lot of the writers/editors here appear to be Tropers. THIS WILL HELP. It also means I may be able to indulge my metafiction habit.

Now, in regards to the Day of Sagittarius (assuming we're going with the space battle idea, which seems to be getting the best reception...), I'm still a little undecided about Kyonko's gaming expertise. I do want her at the least to be knowlegable enough to be snarky, and I like the idea of her being a quick learner. Regards Dkellis's LEEEERRRROOYYYY JEEEENKINNNNS comment, remember that Kyon originally did manage to restrain Haruhi for most of the original battle, and when he didn't, Yuki had by that point managed to pwn the enemy hackers. I reckon it would be fine for Kyonko to be a quick learner, and play it out like that... assuming, of course, that nobody wants to make any other major changes to the story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeijinOniwa
Well, it's true that short hair-pull hurts a LOT. However in my experience long hair isn't as bad (and I'm pretty sure I can judge that fairly, since I have a ponytail the length of Kyon-ko's of my own), and with a ponytail it's even less - from what I know, just pulling a few hairs hurts FUCKSHIT BAD, while many is actually possible to stand for a short while. Plus it's not like he'd pull her by it for itself - she's walking along quite much (wisely enough) as well. Plus, shock and exhaustion prevents her from giving much of a ZOMFS JERK reaction - besides, doesn't she pretty much think of him like that already, anyway?
Mmmm. I seem to remember that short hair hurts more, long hair hurts less. But that was literally years ago, so it's nice to get confirmation.

Also, convert whatever the heck you want. Something with Fang-tan would be nice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dkellis
I mean, I've never quite figured out why Kyon didn't just say "no way", unless either he has no objections to the concept of Girls Treating Guys Like Dirt, or he just didn't think about it. (Or maybe he's just thinking about Haruhi's looks rather than her personality.)
I was under the impression it was because Kyon, whatever he might narrate to himself, finds Haruhi interesting. He's always been in serious denial about Haruhi, this is just on a slightly more minor scale.
Jintor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:03   Link #1402
panzerfan
Name means little...
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: A town that has been showered by snow...
Age: 28
Kyon is a logical thinking type person. Regardless of gender, Kyon will play the role of the counterbalance against the fire that consumes the entire being of Suzumiya. I suppose one way that you can illustrate "The Day of Sagittarius" is to think about Shostakovich's Symphony no.4 "Leningrad", mvt 1 (used in the anime actually) and think of Kyon as an embodiment of the Leningrad spirit that is played out against a stage turned chaotic by being sandwiched against an unstoppable juggernaut and a 'man of steel'. A sense of irony bleeds through the entire event, and storms that started in a teacup escalates as butterfly effect seems to play its cruel hand. A light of hope seems to shine through nevertheless against this quagmire, and provide some solace for the unwilling protagonist...

edit: I realize just now how my wordings back there is rather alienating to people.
__________________

It would be enough for the depressing things in life to only exist in reality.
It is because that I think the birth of a story... is from people dreaming of a happy ending. ~Misaka Shiori


panzerfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:06   Link #1403
NejinOniwa
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Send a message via MSN to NejinOniwa
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkellis View Post
I'm erring on the side of making Haruki not so much of a jerk that Kyonko just ups and leaves him, especially before she discovers the bit about him being a Reality Warper. I mean, I've never quite figured out why Kyon didn't just say "no way", unless either he has no objections to the concept of Girls Treating Guys Like Dirt, or he just didn't think about it. (Or maybe he's just thinking about Haruhi's looks rather than her personality.)

If nothing else, at least have Kyonko not remember that Haruki is a jerk. This is one reason why I had Itsuko pay for the drinks in my version of the SOS Brigade's day out, since now Kyonko will remember that day as "Haruki was a jerk, but no harm done" rather than "Haruki was a jerk, causing me actual material loss". It's not logical, but humans (male and female) seldom are.

Ponytail-pulling works just once, for a very short while, before Kyonko recovers from the shock that someone would actually do such a thing. After that, never again.

-

Random: I'm trying to figure out another part of the novels to convert, and I'm kind of drawing a blank. Should I range outside of volume 1? Should I start with what has already been converted by others? How much can I change of the canon before someone cries foul?
Well...
I at least am following the natural progress (or something) from Ch2 and onwards - seeing as that'll include rewriting a part that you've done as well, and other parts have been double-made, you can do whatever you wish - I'd recommend doing something steady though, like one chapter for itself or something.

And I think that after Kyon-ko starts getting Teh Infoz, it doesn't matter all too much what happens, because she's regaining interest in an old dream, or something. She's curious - that's my call - but I guess Itsuko can be used for money pouch once, I guess. ^^
NejinOniwa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:07   Link #1404
Jintor
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Land Down Under
Age: 22
Well, it is kinda buried interest. Kyon still thinks Haruki's a jerk. (Jerk with a Heart of Gold, mayhaps, but still a jerk all the same.)
Jintor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:09   Link #1405
Keroko
Adeptus Animus
*Author
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by NejinOniwa View Post
Well, it's true that short hair-pull hurts a LOT. However in my experience long hair isn't as bad (and I'm pretty sure I can judge that fairly, since I have a ponytail the length of Kyon-ko's of my own), and with a ponytail it's even less - from what I know, just pulling a few hairs hurts FUCKSHIT BAD, while many is actually possible to stand for a short while. Plus it's not like he'd pull her by it for itself - she's walking along quite much (wisely enough) as well. Plus, shock and exhaustion prevents her from giving much of a ZOMFS JERK reaction - besides, doesn't she pretty much think of him like that already, anyway?
I'll admit I'm going by what my sisters have told me on this one, I never really had long hair (for the exact reason described by Chrissie, it's a pain to get into model when it grows too long)

Then again, I never really pulled my sisters hair either, accidentally hard tugs were as bad as it got, and even that hurt enough to get me yelled at.

That said, I am against Haruki dragging Kyonko by the tail. I can see him tug her tail to get her atention (which would give a 'what the hell!?' reaction) but actually dragging her... no. Haruki may be impulsive and inconciderate, but he's not a jerk. Even people like him know that dragging people by their hair hurts.
__________________
Keroko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:10   Link #1406
Jintor
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Land Down Under
Age: 22
Hmmm. Alright. I think we'll limit it to the "HEY KYON I HAD IDEA OH WAIT NOT SUPPOSED TO TUG HAIR MY BAD" kind of thing, then.

He'll just pick her up and carry her off. Much more lulz.

/EDIT Haruki is a jerk, but only by way of being inconsiderate.
Jintor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:17   Link #1407
NejinOniwa
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Send a message via MSN to NejinOniwa
Hm, meh. He's pretty much jerk in other aspects as well until the SOS-dan gets up and going, from what I'm thinking - besides, I can't get backwards-dragged Kyon-ko out of my head... >_>
Also as said earlier, pick-her-up-and-carry-her-away is one of those one-timers. You can't use it twice, much less twice in the same chapter...it gets repetitive.
NejinOniwa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:24   Link #1408
Jintor
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Land Down Under
Age: 22
Well, always the old standby of drag-by-the-hand. I think we should keep the carryKyon for occasions though were it is vitally important to show that Haruki/Haruhi is being an inconsiderate jerk, so as to set up some other plot point later. One of the major things in Live-A-Live was Haruhi dragging Kyon by the hand, not by the tie... so... yeah...
Jintor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:28   Link #1409
NejinOniwa
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Send a message via MSN to NejinOniwa
Mm. I used bit of a "brutal-arm-grip-pull" (in the edit) instead, but I think that's better than potential sexual harassment as it'd be to pull her by the bow...Brutal arm -> Hand is sorta good change, mm?
NejinOniwa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 08:52   Link #1410
panzerfan
Name means little...
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: A town that has been showered by snow...
Age: 28
Here's something hilarious.

Someone on Komica made this 4-koma of Haruki asking Kyon to help him establish the club, with the last koma purposely left blank, as 'insert here'.


Here are the responses:

1: Not my fxxking business.

2: That was the worst flirting technique ever. Moreover, I will be calling for help if you don't let go

3: So you really don't have what it takes to be the chief... Ahahaha~

4: ZZZ...

5: Hentai! Hentai! Hentai!

6: You dumbass!

7: (Suzumiya wants Kyon to be the mascot)

8: Muscle Flash!

9: Oh!

10: (blushes) I need time to think about it, you dummy...

11: Let's... cool your head a little... (Drive Ignition!)

12: (Kyon) So annoying... I'll think about... (Koizumi) Of course! Both Kyonko and I would love to join. hohoho. //Endless pit of 5th koma awaits Koizumi

13: Oho... Haruki wants me to help him establish a club. That would mean that I will be the heart of the club... which would obviously make me an officer. First, start my conquest by recruiting a few members, and then think of ways to expand the club... and then make the school realize of our existence, and afterwards go join one competition after another. The club should be ambitious enough... to help me get there. After raking in the medals, I will become famous as the visionary, and then I will solidify my relationship with the Student Council, and then I can leave the club... what follows is me climbing to the position of the presidency of the student council, which by my own ability should pose no problem... I shall be the god of the student council!

14: (Suzumiya) It's the Gurren-dan! Let's go beyond our dreams pierce the heavens! This is the emblem.
__________________

It would be enough for the depressing things in life to only exist in reality.
It is because that I think the birth of a story... is from people dreaming of a happy ending. ~Misaka Shiori



Last edited by panzerfan; 2008-03-11 at 09:11.
panzerfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 09:03   Link #1411
NejinOniwa
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Send a message via MSN to NejinOniwa
LAWL XD
Best ones were the three last, though (although, you skipped #14! Wut is that!?).
Last one is obvious, while #12 is awesome reference to SZS...
But #13 really made me LOL. I mean, seriously...
JUST AS PLANNED *grin*
NejinOniwa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 09:05   Link #1412
shaoron
AQS representative
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
oh goodness...

in AQS (negima scanlator group) we're having a "cuteness" poll
and someone nominated Kyon-ko and Itsuko :lol:
shaoron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 09:10   Link #1413
panzerfan
Name means little...
*Graphic Designer
 
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: A town that has been showered by snow...
Age: 28
一紀 (Itsuki) is what the Nico people rather use for Koizumi, just as a small note.

//I feel a little more like a demiurge, with ability to translate a little, shop images and all... hohoho...
and there was no no.14. I mislabeled the last one.
__________________

It would be enough for the depressing things in life to only exist in reality.
It is because that I think the birth of a story... is from people dreaming of a happy ending. ~Misaka Shiori


panzerfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 09:27   Link #1414
Kristen
Senior Member
*Author
*AnimeSuki Site Staff
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia Tech
Quote:
Originally Posted by NejinOniwa View Post
TRUTH.
One of them big downsides with having long hair; that you'll need at least an hour for it to get dry, or a marathon with the hair-dryer...
Part of the reason why I cut my hair, other than Itsuko's hair style is just too cute!
__________________
Kristen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 09:28   Link #1415
ClockWorkAngel
Aspiring Aspirer
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Canada
Age: 22
Send a message via MSN to ClockWorkAngel
It's amazing that both of the boys have gender neutral names.

I liked 13 the most, who knew Kyonko was such a conspiring little devil?
__________________

Credit To Risa-chan!
ClockWorkAngel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 09:46   Link #1416
shaoron
AQS representative
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
some image spamming...



and danburo has tons of em (kyon-ko bunny girl)

Last edited by shaoron; 2008-03-11 at 10:27.
shaoron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 10:03   Link #1417
Puffendahl
Että koko kokkoko?
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: GMT+3 hours.
When it comes to Haruki transporting Kyonko to places, my own idea of it would be that he just picks her up and carries her the first time. Second time, he'll actually try the pulling-the-ponytail-method, but receives a pretty bad reaction from it (obviously… anyone would react badly to that) and reverts back to carrying, unless she actually agrees to follow him by walking on her own.

That's how I imagine it. The ponytail-pulling is quite funny, but I do think it shouldn't be used more than once. I've been pulled from a ponytail before too (while the motive behind the action was similar, to get me to follow, it was still not to the same extent as Kyonko, of course), and I can quite surely say I wouldn't have stayed around my friend too long if she had actually turned that into a habit. I'm not one to yell and scream, but I did protest quite loudly back then. I don't think the length of one's hair matters that much; at that moment, all that matters is that it hurts. A lot.

Besides, I personally want to see the carrying happen more than once .
Maybe even to the extent Kyonko can't even be bothered with protesting anymore when it happens (okay, that might be too much )
Still, that's my opinion.
Puffendahl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 10:41   Link #1418
NejinOniwa
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Send a message via MSN to NejinOniwa
Well, that's essentially what I had done in my script, too...
However; While the ponytail thing is PAINFUL, the carrying thing is bloody damn well humiliating. I mean, how do you think you'd be seen if someone did that to you all the time and you just went with it?
NejinOniwa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 10:52   Link #1419
fishy_hylian
I'm ga-vomiting
 
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: England - UK
Age: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by NejinOniwa View Post
Well, that's essentially what I had done in my script, too...
However; While the ponytail thing is PAINFUL, the carrying thing is bloody damn well humiliating. I mean, how do you think you'd be seen if someone did that to you all the time and you just went with it?
Well, being dragged by the collar by a girl must have been humiliating for Kyon... which is the whole point of it, right?
Unless you mean in the sense that Kyonko just gets used to it? But even then, after it's happened a certain amount of times, you'd see it as a fruitless exercise to waste all your energy kicking and screaming ^^'
fishy_hylian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2008-03-11, 10:53   Link #1420
Aaron008R
Senior Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philippines
1st part.

2nd part...

Spoiler for Day of Sagittarius: Part 2:


This part came a lot more smoothly than the first. I took some pointers and became a bit more liberal in characterizing Kyon-ko, as well as using a more western feel to it.

@Keroko: Characterizing Kyon-ko gives me the same feel as characterizing Tesla. I'm quite at home with her.

This is more fun than I though! I'll finish the entire Day of Sagittarius before next week ends, hopefully. Expect daily updates.

Anyway, on the subject of the ponytail-pull. I guess it'll look better if that was down only once or twice and the rest comes with Haruki carrying her like a sack of rice on his shoulder. Though I'd prefer he carried her bridal-style, it doesn't fit...
__________________

OC Profiles
Yagami Hayate: ver. GenerationS; Part 1, Part 2
Aaron008R is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
genderbender, seitenkan

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 20:32.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
We use Silk.