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Old 2008-05-04, 23:11   Link #21
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Age: 24
Well, I have indeed finished it. It only took so long because I decided to rewrite it. :/

Spoiler for Chapter 7: Thoughtless:
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Old 2008-05-05, 12:36   Link #22
Specular
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Thanks for the new chapter. I'm a little confused about the old man in the last chapter, but a i'm not very good in subtle plots. Go on with the story, i'll be waiting for the next one.
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Old 2008-05-07, 04:13   Link #23
Shinbou
Ka-na-me...^^
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
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I've was busy and couldnt read ur story again. Now read up to chapter 6 and it was really great! Don't have time now so ill read chap 7 later.

The scene with nagato disapearing was really well made, it gave me the sad feeling it needed to. I also hope nagato is comming back! i prefer kyonxnagato instead of haruhi or asahina. You created the dream state very well and the confusing about forgetting something.

The makers of haruhi has to use ur work and make an anime out of this as for season 2 or 3 lol :P
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Old 2008-05-07, 04:43   Link #24
ghazghkull
The Dang-meister
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Age: 25
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Wow...just wow....that was incredible. Beautiful execution, well thought out chapters, and very moving moments, where Kyon is realizing the magnitude of his feelings, and the fact that Kyon now has a means to get together with his Yuki :3

I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Flawless. Absolutely flawless :3
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Old 2008-05-07, 04:55   Link #25
FieryAeon
Sleepy head
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: KL, Malaysia
Very impressive. The execution was really good, I like how I read it and the pace and style felt so much like the actual novels. Plus, Yuki has always been the character I loved the most in the story. Great stuff. Keep it up!
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Old 2008-05-08, 08:19   Link #26
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Age: 24
Thank you everyone. I'm glad to see that it follows the novels nicely. There are some parts where I can't help but diverge from that though, like the shrine part in this chapter. I've wanted a deeper meaning to come out besides this just being an everyday run of the mill fanfic, and that's why that scene is there.

Haha, and I agree Shinbou. This would make a great episode or two for the anime. Throughout my writing, I picture what is happening and then try to describe what I see in my head, so it's as if I'm playing it out that way. I hope you guys can picture it to.

Work on chapter 8 is coming along nicely. I have finished initial writing of it and am moving on to editing, which should only take a couple days.
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Old 2008-05-08, 12:04   Link #27
ghazghkull
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Actually...it's a minor nitpick, but I noticed that in some of your chapters when you're describing Yuki's eyes, you say it's lavender, which is wrong. Her natural eye colour is actually gold/yellow colour :3
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Old 2008-05-08, 15:50   Link #28
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
Actually...it's a minor nitpick, but I noticed that in some of your chapters when you're describing Yuki's eyes, you say it's lavender, which is wrong. Her natural eye colour is actually gold/yellow colour :3
Yes, and I actually realized that as I was writing later, but I had already posted them up. I just must have been thinking of her hair.

Either that or I couldn't remember. I only remembered her having black eyes, and there would be no point in mentioning that.
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Old 2008-05-09, 07:19   Link #29
Shinbou
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I've read chapter 7 now and it was a nice story. You seem to break down kyon more and more. Altought i did think the talking cat part was a bit to much fantasy in my opinion, i hope there wont be more talking animals...but maby it's just me. The fight with asahina was also well done.

And i think when your novel is done there could be a whole season ^^. I got bored or reading novels and books but this seems to hook me. I also can picture everything in my head and its good to follow even tought i'm dutch, so im glad i'm good in english haha.

Well i'm looking forward to chap 8 =) take your time!
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Old 2008-05-11, 01:14   Link #30
Tamekichi
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Here is Chapter 8. Leaving you in suspense.

Spoiler for Chapter 8: Patzen:
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Old 2008-05-11, 01:51   Link #31
ghazghkull
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GAHH!!!!!

CLIFFHANGER!!!!

GAHH!!!!!

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Old 2008-05-11, 18:57   Link #32
Specular
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Nice "to be continued" moment, there are more than a few good options for the person who interfered in the end.

Good Chapter, thanks.

Spoiler for my bet:
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Old 2008-05-11, 21:25   Link #33
Tamekichi
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Age: 24
Yes, I couldn't resist leaving it like that. It's reminiscent of when I printed out Book 4, and had only printed up to the chapter where Yuki reveals who changed the world. I was reading late at night with no computer, and the chapter ended right before she said who it was. I couldn't sleep for a while after that.

Spoiler for @ Specular:
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Old 2008-05-13, 22:58   Link #34
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Age: 24
I'm almost done with the final editing on Chapter 9, and I must say, I am really nervous about this one. I mean, I've been nervous about some of the other ones, mostly the more recent ones, but I'm hesitating on this one even more. I'm contemplating rewriting the whole chapter, which would not be good, since this one is about 7000 words.

I just don't know how the readers will react to it.
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Old 2008-05-14, 12:49   Link #35
ghazghkull
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamekichi View Post
I'm almost done with the final editing on Chapter 9, and I must say, I am really nervous about this one. I mean, I've been nervous about some of the other ones, mostly the more recent ones, but I'm hesitating on this one even more. I'm contemplating rewriting the whole chapter, which would not be good, since this one is about 7000 words.

I just don't know how the readers will react to it.
I say just run with it. It's your story. Granted that there will always be someone who will go "WTF?! Why did you do this?!" or some variation, the majority of us will most likely respect your work.

Sure we will give our critique and comment, but it's not like we're going to bash your work. With what you've done so far, we'll just find it an ironic plot twist at most
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Old 2008-05-14, 21:33   Link #36
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Age: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
I say just run with it. It's your story. Granted that there will always be someone who will go "WTF?! Why did you do this?!" or some variation, the majority of us will most likely respect your work.

Sure we will give our critique and comment, but it's not like we're going to bash your work. With what you've done so far, we'll just find it an ironic plot twist at most
In that case, I'll do some more editing, and it should be updated tomorrow sometime later in the day.
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Old 2008-05-15, 05:54   Link #37
Shinbou
Ka-na-me...^^
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamekichi View Post
I'm almost done with the final editing on Chapter 9, and I must say, I am really nervous about this one. I mean, I've been nervous about some of the other ones, mostly the more recent ones, but I'm hesitating on this one even more. I'm contemplating rewriting the whole chapter, which would not be good, since this one is about 7000 words.

I just don't know how the readers will react to it.
Yes just place it and we can always just give critique and if it's still the same following the last chapters. You can always change it if something doesn't fit. But i don't really think there is a posability that you place a whole bad chaper.

Just try it =)
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Old 2008-05-15, 21:35   Link #38
Tamekichi
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Okay, here it is. I'll hold my breath for reactions.

Spoiler for Chapter 9: World My Own:
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Old 2008-05-16, 00:50   Link #39
ghazghkull
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Wow....that was....profound.

That ending was incredibly profound, especially since it seems to be implying that in order for Kyon to get the love of his life back, the penalty is that he must trade the life of another whom loves him with as much passion.

Very profound. Quite moving as well if I do say so myself.

I WANT TO READ THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW!!!!! XD

Looking forward to it :3
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Old 2008-05-16, 11:54   Link #40
Specular
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Join Date: Apr 2008
I can't believe it. It's the most passional possible outcome, and yet it doesn't simplify the plot one bit. There are so many question left:
Spoiler for Only after chapter 9:
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