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Old 2008-05-24, 18:44   Link #41
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Age: 25
Sorry I took so long. Here's the next Chapter.
Spoiler for Chapter 10: Uncia:
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Old 2008-05-24, 20:59   Link #42
OceanBlue
Not an expert on things
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
I can't even tell if this is the end or not. It feels like one of the Dead Ends of a visual novel, to be honest [That doesn't mean it's bad, but it feels like an, "Oh, you chose a wrong choice somewhere and ended up dying," or, "You didn't have enough points in order to progress, so you ended up dying," even if I know it isn't.].

I had to catch up from a lot of chapters, and I'm really liking how you're doing this. All the characters have their own emotions, not just the pairing you're writing about. The conflict is strong [And of course it is, you've kept the world similar to how it was in the original, and the original leaves almost no room for a Yuki pairing.].

Really, I'm loving this. Nice job.
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Old 2008-05-25, 00:38   Link #43
Specular
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Join Date: Apr 2008
A big pause after the ninth publication... I heard that one before somewhere.

I don't think it was a end, it could be (it look like one of the ending in the PSP game of Suzumiya Haruhi), but it doesn't seem conclusive at less for me. So I ask directly, was it the end?
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Old 2008-05-25, 00:46   Link #44
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Specular View Post
So I ask directly, was it the end?
Nope.

This chapter was really hard to write, and took me awhile to think about, because it's mostly written in imagery and metaphor.
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Old 2008-05-25, 12:27   Link #45
Specular
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Excellent
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Old 2008-05-27, 16:44   Link #46
Sotobrastos
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I printed out all the chapters and read them at once--great stuff, and I'm not even a big Nagato fan. I normally detest fanfiction, since they tend to be so awful, but this... it was amazing.
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Old 2008-05-27, 17:56   Link #47
ghazghkull
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sotobrastos View Post
I printed out all the chapters and read them at once--great stuff, and I'm not even a big Nagato fan. I normally detest fanfiction, since they tend to be so awful, but this... it was amazing.
Not all fanfics are awful. You just need to find the correct authors for them
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Old 2008-05-27, 23:25   Link #48
Sotobrastos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
Not all fanfics are awful. You just need to find the correct authors for them
I think I will, but I hope searching for good authors won't involve burning my eyes out... stumbling into yaoi rapeporn is never pleasant.
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Old 2008-06-02, 23:12   Link #49
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Thanks Sotobrastos!

Here is the final chapter, Chapter 11.

Spoiler for Chapter 11: Popsicles:


I plan to write author's notes for the story, so wait for those. Then I will be on to writing my next one, which I hope is as well recieved.
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Old 2008-06-03, 21:28   Link #50
Specular
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I fell the absence of a chapter between 10 and 11, the change is too abrupt to me.
Spoiler for after chapter 11:
Thanks a lot for the fanfic!!
A very good plot, nice twists, I particularly like the poetic-style of Kyon's narration, the majority tends to focus in relating the events than buliding the speaker's voice and vision. It's hard to find a fanfic with a interesting variation from the novels.
If your time allows you, please continue writing.
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Old 2008-06-04, 16:42   Link #51
ghazghkull
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Hmmm.....that ending felt really awkward. I mean just in the last chapter, we're seeing that Kyon's being drowned, after he's been reunited with Nagato, and then all of a sudden, things are back to normal. It just feels very...I suppose empty? I'm not sure how to put this into words, but the ending doesn't feel that satisfying, as if something is missing from that ending.

It could just be me, but I personally think that ending could have been more profound, or at least give us a better sense of closure I suppose?

I'm not exactly sure how to really word it, but that's my opinion of it.
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Old 2008-06-06, 00:54   Link #52
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
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I rewrote this last chapter twice, and I decided this would be the best way to do it, because

1) This is canon style. Everything always goes back to normal in the canon. I didn't want this to go off into some obscure tangent from how it would really happen.

2) I think this in itself is a profound way to end. It is purposefully vague, beacuse I want everyone to think about it. I want you to look at the imagery strewn out through it. It is supposed to go back to memory, and dreams. I don't want to tell you what I intended with it though, I want you to get your own meaning.

Just keep in mind, this is how I wanted to end it.
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Old 2008-06-06, 16:02   Link #53
OceanBlue
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I personally liked the ending, even if I was a little bothered by the reset. But, it's like that in the books, so I guess I can't dispute that.

I think that's what ghazghkull is saying though. He didn't like the fact that it reset, even if the novels reset all the time. It almost makes one wonder what the point of going through the whole thing was if nothing had changed.

I'm glad you added the popsicle thing though, since that saved it from being a complete reset.

Also, I'm glad you didn't try to complete it with something blatantly profound, since that probably would have required closure. It cools off and slows down, but keeps the feelings going, which I liked about the ending. I feel like it was closed well enough, and I'm glad I read the story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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Old 2008-06-18, 21:13   Link #54
vetokfv
plays Rock Band.
 
 
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Thumbs up

Yo. I'm new to this forum stuff, but I did read your fanfic. I liked it, even if it got crazy abstract the further past chapter 4 it got... Anyway, I was bored, so as an exercise I started sketching out Chapter 1, ha. I wouldn't bother touching them up and adding your text without permission, though.



BTW, since everyone's talking about the ending, I thought it wrapped it up quite nicely.

----------------
Now playing: Blue Oyster Cult - Burnin' for You
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Old 2008-07-24, 18:23   Link #55
vetokfv
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They were supposed to be in the PM, but whatever.



First page, sort of inked/colored, then with your text. Yah.
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Old 2008-08-12, 05:14   Link #56
dragon4dudes
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In a word, thrilling. There were some bits that I disliked. The most appearant is the change from altered world to normal world. A little sudden for me.

Half of it didn't make sense, but thats prolly because my mind is gonna explode. data overload, been on the computer waaaayyy too long, 9 hours? read a few fanfics. worked a bit, thought about a few problems, yea, my mind needs some rest.

BTW, I'm in China
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Old 2010-03-30, 14:14   Link #57
kyon9854
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Haha, well, yes it is a two year gap from the last post someone made here and I, myself, am personally disappointed in me for not getting an account until now. Yes. I suck that much. But on to the question; May I, for the sake of practice, publicity, good grades, and the fact that your work is a masterpiece among masterpieces, make a visual novel of it? I would love to hear your reply if it is a "yes", however, if for any reason you do not want to have "Ich Liebe Dich" ported to a visual novel, I understand. You may answer as you wish.

And a little side note: I don't usually talk like this.
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Old 2010-04-04, 20:29   Link #58
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Age: 25
I would absolutely love to see a visual novel be made from my story. I wish I could have done some drawing myself, but alas, I lack the talent. PM me with more information and we can talk on a messenger.
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Old 2010-04-07, 15:00   Link #59
Larthak
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Damn, I just took a quick glance at a random chapter to see your writing skill.

...erm, kinda ended up reading a whole chapter. And then another one after that. You've gotten my attention even though I'm not much of a fan of this pairing and basically, I don't count myself as an intensive fanfic reader either.

Though, I got really confused by Kyon's absence of quotation marks in the first chapter. Kinda blurred his verbal interaction with the rest of the text. More so when the other characters actually had them in their speech. But oh well, you addressed this, so I guess that's it. Good job!
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Old 2010-04-07, 22:22   Link #60
Tamekichi
流離っている
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larthak View Post
Though, I got really confused by Kyon's absence of quotation marks in the first chapter. Kinda blurred his verbal interaction with the rest of the text. More so when the other characters actually had them in their speech. But oh well, you addressed this, so I guess that's it. Good job!
Thank you for the nice words.

Yes, Kyon's words out of quotation marks is for two reasons. One, and mainly, because that's how it was in the Baka-tsuki translations, so it was canon to be confused about whether he is saying something or thinking it. And two, because it puts more focus on the other characters, which is also a tendency of Tanigawa's writing, since we mainly learn about Kyon (when he is not engaged in personal monologue) through the other character's interactions with him.
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