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View Poll Results: Can a Man and a Women be Just Friends?
Yes 269 83.02%
No 55 16.98%
Voters: 324. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 2008-05-05, 22:15   Link #61
Kyuusai
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demongod86 View Post
You cannot be friends with someone that you are sexually attracted to. The end. If you are friends with a girl that you are attracted to, you do not want to be friends with her.

Guys only have one ladder. At the top are girls they actively want to fuck. At the bottom are girls they wouldn't admit to fucking even if they were drunk.

Girls on the other hand have two ladders. One is a ladder of guys that they would consider to be partners. The other is a friends ladder. If a guy tries to jump ladders, he runs the risk of falling into the abyss.

Read up on Ladder Theory to get a confirmation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Lycan View Post
That's what i tried to say
But i guess i pharsed it wrong
It's simply a far too simple way of looking at things. ("sexually attracted to"? As though it were a binary state?)

If you guys are incapable of viewing male female relationships outside the scope of a juvenile pursuit of sex, that's your limitation.

There may be a grain of truth behind "Ladder Theory", but if that is really how you perceive relationships, I highly recommend seeking an expanded world-view.
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Old 2008-05-05, 22:51   Link #62
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What constitutes a friendship for me, with either a male or a female is made up of many factors, and sexual attraction doesn't appear on that list at all in any degree.

I do get the impulse, but I am quite comfortable in recongising that and removing it from places it is not needed. I do not require sexual attraction for anyone other than my significant other.

Other types of attraction however are most desirable and should be embraced, whoever invokes the feeling.

I thusly voted yes, and I am male.
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Old 2008-05-05, 23:04   Link #63
qtipbrit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demongod86 View Post
You cannot be friends with someone that you are sexually attracted to. The end. If you are friends with a girl that you are attracted to, you do not want to be friends with her.
This is true, but what isn't true is that every guy wants to fuck every girl they meet.
Personally, I have become friends with several girls because I thought they were attractive, but not all of my female friends are ones I made in this manner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demongod86 View Post
Read up on Ladder Theory to get a confirmation.
I'm sure you're aware, but the Ladder theory is as much of a theory as Voodoo science is a science.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HayashiTakara View Post
So far, the results are pretty much what I have figured it'll turn up, in a few more days, when the number of voters increase along with posts, I'll show the guy I had this debate with, and show how narrow his views are.
Actually, take one "No" off and put it on "Yes", since it was a troll-poll by me to try to spark some mildly intelligent conversation by getting the number of "Yes" and "No" votes equal.
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Old 2008-05-05, 23:15   Link #64
Reckoner
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyuusai View Post
There may be a grain of truth behind "Ladder Theory", but if that is really how you perceive relationships, I highly recommend seeking an expanded world-view.
QFT, the ladder theory is a disgusting theory.

I don't care if you are male or female, I don't buy this idea that females are so good and don't think about sex all the times like males. I got news for you, females only got one ladder too, they probably just got a larger bottom than their top compared to men. I could guess why, but I just find that men are more accepting than women. This is actually proven with statistics of men who would welcome a female approaching him compared to a male approaching a female. Anyway, the ladder theory seems to be the consequence of MANY MANY many years of male chauvinism domineering over women and getting backlashed by feminists. Please don't just accept the idea that all males are sex fiends, it's quite demeaning and insulting actually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by qtipbrit92 View Post
Actually, take one "No" off and put it on "Yes", since it was a troll-poll by me to try to spark some mildly intelligent conversation by getting the number of "Yes" and "No" votes equal.
Dang anarchist.
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Old 2008-05-05, 23:25   Link #65
Kang Seung Jae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reckoner View Post
QFT, the ladder theory is a disgusting theory.

I don't care if you are male or female, I don't buy this idea that females are so good and don't think about sex all the times like males. I got news for you, females only got one ladder too, they probably just got a larger bottom than their top compared to men. I could guess why, but I just find that men are more accepting than women. This is actually proven with statistics of men who would welcome a female approaching him compared to a male approaching a female. Anyway, the ladder theory seems to be the consequence of MANY MANY many years of male chauvinism domineering over women and getting backlashed by feminists. Please don't just accept the idea that all males are sex fiends, it's quite demeaning and insulting actually.
Please read my opinion above:

Quote:
I disagree. Guys also have two ladders, it's just that most of them are too "simple" to make use of the friendship ladder.
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Old 2008-05-05, 23:47   Link #66
qtipbrit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reckoner View Post
QFT, the ladder theory is a disgusting theory.

I don't care if you are male or female, I don't buy this idea that females are so good and don't think about sex all the times like males. I got news for you, females only got one ladder too, they probably just got a larger bottom than their top compared to men. I could guess why, but I just find that men are more accepting than women. This is actually proven with statistics of men who would welcome a female approaching him compared to a male approaching a female. Anyway, the ladder theory seems to be the consequence of MANY MANY many years of male chauvinism domineering over women and getting backlashed by feminists. Please don't just accept the idea that all males are sex fiends, it's quite demeaning and insulting actually.
It's also not a theory anyway, so you don't really need to be arguing this.

However, the whole ladder thing is quite stupid in itself, since it essentially argues that men can't even make friends with women in the first place, since they only see them as objects with which they can have impure heterosexual relationships, and bisexuals and homosexuals don't exist anyway.
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Dang anarchist.
I would make the Sex Pistols proud.
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Old 2008-05-06, 00:45   Link #67
foreverdissevered
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Well.. both times the girls asked me out instead after being friends with me for a while... not like just common friends, but sorta close I guess..

And I said no both times even though both of them are pretty. One of them is truly beautiful.. I wonder why I said no.

Now they both ignore me ._.
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Old 2008-05-06, 00:51   Link #68
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Quote:
I don't care if you are male or female, I don't buy this idea that females are so good and don't think about sex all the times like males.
What I don't buy is the idea that because you think about sex all the time, the rest of us have to be exactly the same.
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Old 2008-05-06, 00:55   Link #69
Reckoner
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingKnight View Post
What I don't buy is the idea that because you think about sex all the time, the rest of us have to be exactly the same.
Thanks for playing with my words, but if you truly understood my post I'm attacking this very idea. Good day sir.
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Old 2008-05-06, 01:17   Link #70
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Quote:
Thanks for playing with my words, but if you truly understood my post I'm attacking this very idea. Good day sir.
Umm, well, then I've gotta say I don't really understand what you're talking about. You're making sweeping generalizations and I was just pointing out that fact.

(By the way, I mean your general idea was bringing the whole point down to your personal appreciation of people and making a generalization out of that. At least that's what I understood from your posts)

Good day to you too
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Old 2008-05-06, 01:36   Link #71
2H-Dragon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demongod86 View Post
You cannot be friends with someone that you are sexually attracted to. The end. If you are friends with a girl that you are attracted to, you do not want to be friends with her.
I'd dare to say this a lie. I look at love and sex diffetenly then most(or maybe not I dunno. ). For one I don't need sex to get by everyday(though it would be nice.) 2ndly I think that love is based on how long you spend in a relationship.

For one my personality makes me go for good looking girls with personality. If I can't get her I'd go on the friend boat. Since hot girls have hot friends. I never go out of the friend boat. Since it isn't really needed to make your friend a gf rather find some other girl you don't completely know keeps the relationship fun. And I have hope that I can find new girls since 50% of humanity consist of girls. :P I just don't get hungover a certain girl. I am attracted to a lot of girls, but never really had a crush or been in love. No need for sex keeps me in check for not beeing one of those that look for gf at clubs or w/e. I have high standards. I think everyone should, unless they are 30+. :O
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Old 2008-05-06, 01:49   Link #72
Vexx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingKnight View Post
Umm, well, then I've gotta say I don't really understand what you're talking about. You're making sweeping generalizations and I was just pointing out that fact.

(By the way, I mean your general idea was bringing the whole point down to your personal appreciation of people and making a generalization out of that. At least that's what I understood from your posts)

Good day to you too
Actually, I believe everyone in the last pile of posts (including Reckoner) was skewering Demongod86's simplistic collection of assertions in various ways. Most of them are on the same chapter if not on the same page.

For example, his assertion of "If you are friends with a girl that you are attracted to, you do not want to be friends with her." is just inexperienced juvenile bullpuckies. Making comrades out of women I'm sexually attracted to has been a wonderful defensive measure for staying monogamous.

Kyuusai is probably regretting even mentioning the "ladder" misogyny at this point (since he himself doesn't even subscribe to it).
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Old 2008-05-06, 01:51   Link #73
Kang Seung Jae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vexx View Post
Kyuusai is probably regretting even mentioning the "ladder" misogyny at this point (since he himself doesn't even subscribe to it).
Well, the BASIS of the "theory" has the elements of truth: Man are comparably simple when it comes to relationships.
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Old 2008-05-06, 02:05   Link #74
Vexx
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This is true... but one can take elements of truth and do the most absurd things with them. Some of the most successful scams or deceptions always use elements of truth. Men *can* be simple when it comes to relationships -- it doesn't necessarily mean they automatically are.
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Old 2008-05-06, 02:21   Link #75
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Quote:
Actually, I believe everyone in the last pile of posts (including Reckoner) was skewering Demongod86's simplistic collection of assertions in various ways. Most of them are on the same chapter if not on the same page.
Oh, well, I apologize then on a second look. Working till 2 AM and posting after getting back home doesn't look like a sane combination.
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Old 2008-05-06, 05:31   Link #76
kayote
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men and woman who are friends at one point or another will always have some sort of feeling for the other person. it all depends on if that person acts on that or not. some choose not to but, most likely the men that we are and the amount of testosterone that is running through us it will lead to some sort of confession or a drunken night.
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Old 2008-05-06, 06:00   Link #77
Kang Seung Jae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayote View Post
men and woman who are friends at one point or another will always have some sort of feeling for the other person.
I disagree with this sentiment, since if this is true, I would be having feelings for too many girls.
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Old 2008-05-06, 09:42   Link #78
Ichihara Asako
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Originally Posted by kayote View Post
men and woman who are friends at one point or another will always have some sort of feeling for the other person. it all depends on if that person acts on that or not. some choose not to but, most likely the men that we are and the amount of testosterone that is running through us it will lead to some sort of confession or a drunken night.
I have three male friends I've known at least five years (I don't have a habit of keeping many friends over long periods.) and have never had any kind of romantic interest in any of them. I *think* one of them was briefly 'in to' me, but nothing ever came of it; he got a girlfriend not long after I suspected he may like me a bit more than as a friend.

It may help that I don't drink or associate with people who drink, so drunken confessions are out of the question. I dunno, that lifestyle is alien to me so I can't say whether it's a contributing factor.
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Old 2008-05-06, 12:12   Link #79
kayote
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i am saying it as a genralaty. not as one or some cases. yes we all have friends of the opposite gender and yes some we just think of as friends and some we think of as crushes or like in ways more than a friend.

but, even though all of us may have been friends for a long time but, there will be some point in time where you think of the other person a bit differently even if it may be for a fraction of a second. subconchusy or unsubconchusy.

opposite genders can be friends but, there will be a point where you may see that person a bit differently.

the drunken confesion i was kind of using it as a metphor for letting it out, insted of brushing it aside and going on with your life. when you may be drunk your inhabitions are low as well as loss of some self control.
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Old 2008-05-06, 17:53   Link #80
Kang Seung Jae
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayote View Post
but, even though all of us may have been friends for a long time but, there will be some point in time where you think of the other person a bit differently even if it may be for a fraction of a second. subconchusy or unsubconchusy.

opposite genders can be friends but, there will be a point where you may see that person a bit differently.
No, that's something I'll never believe in.


Yes, I might have felt that way for a few of my friends, but to say that I'll feel as such for all of them is just......
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