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Old 2008-07-03, 11:42   Link #2241
Comartemis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
Thank the gods. You don't know the dread when I read what you wrote.
In my defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time....

Quote:
Crudely speaking, this is a bit paradoxical. If it can affect spells outside of the contact area, what is there to prevent the effect from canceling her own spells in the first place? Plot armor will protect that very well, but I always think that a background justification would be more appropriate. Other than that, I see it as all right, but preferably not used. The choice is yours.
Alright, you know how a mage's linker core is as unique to them as their genetic makeup? We see something like this with all the different magic sigils; I chalk up the different colors to differences in how the linker cores process mana, thus each spell is unique for each mage, even if the spell templates are exactly the same.

Asuna's linker core has a property to it that causes linked mana processed by her core to reject other forms of mana, somewhat like a person's immune system, but applied both internally and externally whenever she uses magic. One of more interesting side effects of this is that Asuna can't benefit from her own enhancement magic and Boost Up enhancement spells from other mages at the same time, because her Void magic will automatically reject the foreign enhancement as soon as it's applied to her body.

In regards to the request for help: I haven't been keeping up with GuardianS, unfortunately, so I probably won't be too much help with this. If I can find time, I'll go back and read over what I've been missing, but I'm about to go on a weekend-long vacation to the middle of nowhere, so I won't be around this weekend and there's the possibility I'll just forget...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki View Post
And on a little sidenote, looks like FUNimation is going to be releasing Nanoha
About goddamn time, I say. I was starting to worry that Geneon would take all their licenses down with the ship.
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Old 2008-07-03, 11:57   Link #2242
Tormenk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
I establish only relationships that seem puritanically appropriate (entirely straight, heterosexual kinds), though there isn't anything preventing them from breaking or changed in other stories. On the whole, however, my views are not as narrow, and I don't mind the other kinds available. Just make them ... stomach-able.
Likewise. I don't intend to explore the less-desirable side of such relationships yet anyway; cursed might have been too much though said Meister-Device do have a complicated history built up.

Quote:
If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to request a little help from fellow authors/readers here. As it is, I'm still continuing with GuardianS (albeit woefully slow, no thanks to the distraction I have in the form of Playstation 2), and the next chapter is building up nicely, currently pegged at ~8k words.

The entire plot is almost reaching its first climax already (if we follow Freytag's analysis), so what I wanted to ask from all of you is whether the story is missing anything that has been nagging in your mind, however big or small. It can be characterization, plot holes, structure, cohesion, anything you find particularly odd or confusing that hasn't been resolved in the story.

While I do keep myself to the plot that I've planned out so far, there are times when things just didn't come to mind at the time of writing, and these would most probably result in a holes that are most difficult to retrace. Given the pace and length, it wouldn't be surprising that these would be overlooked on my part, so I'd like them to be resolved, either as a side-note or implemented entirely in the plot later (if applicable). If those questions would later be answered in the planned plot, I'd say it as such, so there's no worry of spoiling the entire story.

This would serve as a great idea proposition as well as reminder for myself. You can ask anything, don't worry about it. I appreciate the help very much.

Thanks a lot.
I'll sift through during the weekend though never-ending work and the sheer length of all the chapters so far won't make it easy.
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Old 2008-07-03, 12:04   Link #2243
Kha
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Old 2008-07-03, 12:23   Link #2244
PhoenixFlare
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
I'm not that bad, actually. You should see my sister. Most girls find ponies and kitties cute, she thinks humongous scaly fire breathing creatures are cute.
You know, you sister and I would get a long well. Very well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
In my defense, it seemed like a good idea at the time....
Seems like one doesn't mean it is one. But thankfully, you accepted the other point of view. Bless you.

*pats Comartemis on the head*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Alright, you know how a mage's linker core is as unique to them as their genetic makeup? We see something like this with all the different magic sigils; I chalk up the different colors to differences in how the linker cores process mana, thus each spell is unique for each mage, even if the spell templates are exactly the same.
I worked with similar theories before, but to say that each spell is unique would be an overstatement. See, Subaru and Nanoha use Divine Buster, the only difference is the output they give. Similarly, for Crossfire Shoot between Nanoha and Teana. And Nanoha and Fate's copied spells stored in the Tome of the Night Sky. Since spells can be inherited (a plus point for the recent translation regarding Reinforce and Hayate), it would mean that those spells are essentially the same even though the user is different.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Asuna's linker core has a property to it that causes linked mana processed by her core to reject other forms of mana, somewhat like a person's immune system, but applied both internally and externally whenever she uses magic. One of more interesting side effects of this is that Asuna can't benefit from her own enhancement magic and Boost Up enhancement spells from other mages at the same time, because her Void magic will automatically reject the foreign enhancement as soon as it's applied to her body.
So, it's more an attribute or rare skill than a property of her spells? For one moment there, you almost made me think that all her spells are Void element. But if it's applicable to her spells, then ...

The idea is sound as a defensive measure, but I don't think it goes well with offensive spells. Technically speaking, when her Linker Core processes the mana, it would no doubt have created the linked mana said to be capable of rejecting other forms of mana. It'd have also rejected the raw mana that she draws to form her magic. As a defensive measure, this can be part of her rare ability instead of a Linker Core attribute, therefore it doesn't interfere with her natural mana manipulation.

If you really want to make it part of her offensive ability, I'd suggest that you omit any form of collection-type spell from her repertoire. We can go along the line of contamination effect (a similar concept from Keroko's Aspect magic) where the mana she uses are purely from her own body and it has inherent Void element, so they don't reject each other. She cannot use any type mana except her own, which would give her both advantages and disadvantages.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
In regards to the request for help: I haven't been keeping up with GuardianS, unfortunately, so I probably won't be too much help with this. If I can find time, I'll go back and read over what I've been missing, but I'm about to go on a weekend-long vacation to the middle of nowhere, so I won't be around this weekend and there's the possibility I'll just forget...
Thanks for the offer, do it when you're free and feel like it. I won't force anyone to do it except if you're willing to. I'm surprised you read it, though, since it has the elements of angst that you're so aversive of.

Anyway, happy holidays!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tormenk View Post
Likewise. I don't intend to explore the less-desirable side of such relationships yet anyway; cursed might have been too much though said Meister-Device do have a complicated history built up.
Meister-Device wouldn't be too bad. At least one is androgynous, regardless of what the programming is made to show.

*flees*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tormenk View Post
I'll sift through during the weekend though never-ending work and the sheer length of all the chapters so far won't make it easy.
Please do it when you're free and feeling up to it. I'll feel kind of bad if this takes up your time when you can better spend it.
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Old 2008-07-03, 12:36   Link #2245
Evangelion Xgouki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
Kha has booked Scagletti on 4 servers.

But Khalthuzad shall always be the real deal.


*facepalms*

KHAAA!!!
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Old 2008-07-03, 12:54   Link #2246
Comartemis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
I worked with similar theories before, but to say that each spell is unique would be an overstatement. See, Subaru and Nanoha use Divine Buster, the only difference is the output they give.
Not really. Subaru's Divine Buster is a completely different form of magic from Nanoha's. For one thing, it's a burst of energy akin to a short-range bombardment spell more than Nanoha's beam of energy. Subaru also makes use of it with the Neo-Belka system, not the Mid system, so there are most likely all kinds of processing differences between the two.

Quote:
Similarly, for Crossfire Shoot between Nanoha and Teana. And Nanoha and Fate's copied spells stored in the Tome of the Night Sky. Since spells can be inherited (a plus point for the recent translation regarding Reinforce and Hayate), it would mean that those spells are essentially the same even though the user is different.
Alright, not unique but not exactly the same either; there are slight variations to each spell acquired from the ways the linker cores process mana, which leads to infinitesimally small differences in the attributes of each spell. For instance the same spell cast by two mages with identical skill sets and abilities may still have a natural 1% power difference in one of the mages just because of the differences between their linker cores.

Quote:
The idea is sound as a defensive measure, but I don't think it goes well with offensive spells. Technically speaking, when her Linker Core processes the mana, it would no doubt have created the linked mana said to be capable of rejecting other forms of mana. It'd have also rejected the raw mana that she draws to form her magic. As a defensive measure, this can be part of her rare ability instead of a Linker Core attribute, therefore it doesn't interfere with her natural mana manipulation.
Good point about rejecting raw mana; I hadn't considered that.

Quote:
If you really want to make it part of her offensive ability, I'd suggest that you omit any form of collection-type spell from her repertoire. We can go along the line of contamination effect (a similar concept from Keroko's Aspect magic) where the mana she uses are purely from her own body and it has inherent Void element, so they don't reject each other. She cannot use any type mana except her own, which would give her both advantages and disadvantages.
I'm working with the linker core interpretation I suggested to TK and Keroko earlier, that the LC takes unlinked mana from the air, links it together and creates (generates, to use the wording in the DVD booklet) a pool of usable mana in the mage's body. So if the void element is applied to the unlinked mana by the LC during the linking process, it becomes easily usable for both offense and defense while still limiting Asuna's mana usage to linked mana that's been filtered through her LC.

Quote:
Thanks for the offer, do it when you're free and feel like it. I won't force anyone to do it except if you're willing to. I'm surprised you read it, though, since it has the elements of angst that you're so aversive of.
I haven't, actually; by keeping up I mean actually reading the story's updates. There was so much here when I first showed up that I didn't know where to start. The only fic from the OC threads that I've read is.... shoot, what's the name.... the one with the sentient tower and the lich and the not-quite-dead Alicia Testarossa?

But thanks for the warning about the angst! I'll make sure I don't touch GuardianS with a ten-foot pole!

Quote:
Anyway, happy holidays!
Likewise, Phoenix!
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Old 2008-07-03, 12:59   Link #2247
Wild Goose
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Some slight crack in progress.

Spoiler for Soldiers of the Wasteland trailer:


As for Meister-Device relationships, I had Hayareinrion crack written. Because Rein zwei is cute and Healthy Full Size All Woman Rein is HAWT.
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Old 2008-07-03, 13:03   Link #2248
Comartemis
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Needs background music.

Spoiler for Background Music:


*EDIT*
Oh sure, now you add it in.
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Old 2008-07-03, 13:49   Link #2249
Liingo
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@PF: Thoughts on my re-read of all of it below, separted into chapters and scenes for easy reference. Also random spelling points

C-> Chapter S-> Scene

Prologue S2
Reason for the scene being 5 years earlier?
Info in C3 S3 would suggest that the scene is in the present since they’ve gone and stolen a star before we know about the prophecy.
C1 S2
How are you Mmilady (Milady)
C1 S5
I advice (advise) you not to underestimate the GF <- Subaru
C2 S5
I take it that you’re not altering the story to accommodate the new info about enforcers. Although it's easily solved since you don't have a slew of them in your story.
54 min pass between end of this scene and C3 S3? Seems a bit long...
C3 S3
I find the shift from angst/despair etc to happy happy joy joy a little weird once they know Nanoha is at the door… but not really a major issue.
C4 S3 Cont
You know my father (knew) <- Chrono
C4 S5
I’m amazed at the speed of bureaucracy shown in getting the unit together… 1000 members in less than 3-4 days. Where did they all come from? Or more importantly, do these 1000 members get used other than a 10th of them.

- Couldn't see any major pitfalls while I was re-reading it all, but it'll be best to see what the others say first.
- I do have questions on the plot... although i'm certain that those will be answered eventually in the next couple of chapters

Liingo.
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Old 2008-07-03, 15:01   Link #2250
FlameSparkZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JINNSK View Post
I have finished my homework...Excuse my lazy translation.
Basically remaining part mentions Hayate's character.So,I'm not sure whether there is new information for you...



Spoiler for Original:


Spoiler for translation:
Hmm, I see...so that's the creator's point of view

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
*clucks tongue* My throat feels dry after reading this. It seems that even the creator himself feels like shafting Hayate.

Well...that's the role it was given to her in the story, all we can do is change it in fanfics

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Forgotten so soon?

Spoiler for DVD booklet:


Subaru's bikini and Teana's top are designed for high output and heavy armor. That screams proof that small jackets offer high-grade protection.
Bikini

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kha View Post
DECULTURE!!!

Yes I'd appreciated it. Singing Fate always computes.

In fact...
Spoiler for Commencing Continuation!:


*RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNZ at epic flying speed*


Quote:
Originally Posted by Comartemis View Post
Hmm... how about....

Void Magic
A rare form of elemental affinity which converts the user's mana into a form which easily resists and breaks apart linked mana and spell constructs that are matched against it. Void Magic is ideal for usage in shields and defensive spells and extremely useful in offensive spells as well, as it can be used to penetrate magical shielding and crack open force fields. The strength of the effect depends entirely on the strength of the void mage's linker core, so stronger spells can only be countered by stronger void mages. Further, shaping and controlling void magic at a distance is much more difficult than normal magic is, even with the aid of a high-end Intelligent device, which necessitates that most void mages keep their spells close to the body, leading most to adopt the Neo or Ancient Belka systems or similar close-combat-oriented magic systems.

If I go with this model, Asuna will probably start out as a B-rank like the rest of the Forwards, and her Void magic will only afford her increased resistance to spells above her level, not outright cancellation. Anything at her level, though...
Oh~ Nice affinity there

~~~~

So...hmm...yeah, still working on several things at the same time
But progressing, though...Maybe I'll be able to post something in the near future :3

dewa...

*warps away*
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Old 2008-07-03, 15:40   Link #2251
Keroko
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Originally Posted by Aaron008R View Post
Hmm... Now that I think about it, both Kha and Keroko made their own Aces to go with the young Ace Trio of Canon...

Now why didn't I make a similar Ace as well...?

Looks like I shafted myself there as well...<.<

Keep working on Grandis then.

[QUOTE=Kha;1698105But don't look at it that way. Somehow Grandis just doesn't fit into things as much as Aurion did; Keroko was the Ace who wasn't not a Sue; Kha was the Ace who wasn't a girl; Aurion was the Ace who isn't a frontliner. [/QUOTE]

'wasn't not a Sue?' Which is it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stormturmoil View Post
Just to bring up a somewhat insignificant seeming but nevertheless important point...

But while we've been flinging relationship accusations here there and everywhere over which pairings are established, there is no reason they couldn't all be....

<_<

>_>

and no, I'm not talking about polygamy, either, (except possibly in the case of Caro X Erio X Lutecia)

Rather, there's been this unwarranted assumption that all relationships that we establish must succeed...which, as we all know, is not necessarily the case...

That is to say, while it'a all well and good trying to establish the pairings of characters now, there's been a marked tendency to ignore the possibility of any other relationships that may have existed in the past, and/or, that may yet exist in the future if the current ones don't work out.

Even if Hayate Is paired with Grandis Now, that does nothing to prove that she wasn't previously involved with Aurion in the past (fell apart because of the age gap?)

Similarly, Nanoha x Fate and Nanoha X Yuuno may both actually have happened/be happening, and the only pertinent detail may be the order in which they happened/happen!

In other words, there is nothing saying these characters have not had other relationships in the past, nor that they won't have others in the future...

we don't have to be limited by just one pairing per character! damn, surely the Aces are going to have had some other prospective suitors...after all, they've probably got half the Bureau lusting after them secretly (or not so secretly, in the case of Subaru...)
It is a little known fact that Keroko and Chrono were dating at one point in time.

*Runs like crazy while dodging red blasts of magic*


Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare View Post
If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to request a little help from fellow authors/readers here. As it is, I'm still continuing with GuardianS (albeit woefully slow, no thanks to the distraction I have in the form of Playstation 2), and the next chapter is building up nicely, currently pegged at ~8k words.

The entire plot is almost reaching its first climax already (if we follow Freytag's analysis), so what I wanted to ask from all of you is whether the story is missing anything that has been nagging in your mind, however big or small. It can be characterization, plot holes, structure, cohesion, anything you find particularly odd or confusing that hasn't been resolved in the story.

While I do keep myself to the plot that I've planned out so far, there are times when things just didn't come to mind at the time of writing, and these would most probably result in a holes that are most difficult to retrace. Given the pace and length, it wouldn't be surprising that these would be overlooked on my part, so I'd like them to be resolved, either as a side-note or implemented entirely in the plot later (if applicable). If those questions would later be answered in the planned plot, I'd say it as such, so there's no worry of spoiling the entire story.

This would serve as a great idea proposition as well as reminder for myself. You can ask anything, don't worry about it. I appreciate the help very much.

Thanks a lot.
Hmm, not that I can think of so quickly, no.

Though I'd love to see more Tesla. :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Goose View Post
Some slight crack in progress.

Spoiler for Soldiers of the Wasteland trailer:


As for Meister-Device relationships, I had Hayareinrion crack written. Because Rein zwei is cute and Healthy Full Size All Woman Rein is HAWT.
Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning.
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Old 2008-07-03, 15:54   Link #2252
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Quote:
Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning
Nah, they probably got called in to try and break up another one of Hayate's secret Cosplay parties...

<_<
>_>

What, you KNOW Nanoha would do that, especially over Vivio (So would Fate, though in her case it'd probably be more along the lines of " If anyone's going to put Vivio in Adorable Cosplay outfits it's going to be ME!)
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Old 2008-07-03, 16:08   Link #2253
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post


Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning.
Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"
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Old 2008-07-03, 16:14   Link #2254
Tormenk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
It is a little known fact that Keroko and Chrono were dating at one point in time.

*Runs like crazy while dodging red blasts of magic*
Keroko: "Yuuno-kun's late.. "

Chrono: "Ah Keroko there you are. Yuuno said he couldn't make it at the last second so he asked me to replace him."

Keroko:"Oh..I suppose it can't be helped then. Work takes precedence after all."

Chrono: "Shall we ?"

*around the corner Yuuno lies gagged and Struggle Bound*

Yuuno: "Chrughh urgh urghtrd !"


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Old 2008-07-03, 16:27   Link #2255
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stormturmoil View Post
Nah, they probably got called in to try and break up another one of Hayate's secret Cosplay parties...

<_<
>_>

What, you KNOW Nanoha would do that, especially over Vivio (So would Fate, though in her case it'd probably be more along the lines of " If anyone's going to put Vivio in Adorable Cosplay outfits it's going to be ME!)
The mental image of a squad like that breaking up a cosplay party is to great not to be writen down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheba View Post
Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"
I see I'm not the only one thinking of that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tormenk View Post
Keroko: "Yuuno-kun's late.. "

Chrono: "Ah Keroko there you are. Yuuno said he couldn't make it at the last second so he asked me to replace him."

Keroko:"Oh..I suppose it can't be helped then. Work takes precedence after all."

Chrono: "Shall we ?"

*around the corner Yuuno lies gagged and Struggle Bound*

Yuuno: "Chrughh urgh urghtrd !"


Wouldn't surprise me. Chaos would love it.
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Old 2008-07-03, 16:28   Link #2256
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheba View Post
Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"
Eat... mushrooms

Nanoha: But which is the real Vivio? The pink one, the blue one?
Fate: I think its the rainbow one. All the pretty colors look~ it's a prettiful magical Kharckacorn let's ride on it! Wee!
Everyone else: >.> Let's leave them here -_-;

Stay away from 'shrooms kids they'll screw with your head.
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Old 2008-07-03, 16:37   Link #2257
PhoenixG
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheba View Post
Don't worry, Nanoha and Fate will don their barrier jackets and run across pipes and landscapes while beaming stupid turtles. And eat mushrooms to grow bigger.

"Sorry White Devil. The Kaiserin is in another castle!"
Heh.... it's reminds my of the soundtrack where Marisa accidently gave a mushroom to Suika and became a gaint XD
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Old 2008-07-03, 16:46   Link #2258
Evangelion Xgouki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
It is a little known fact that Keroko and Chrono were dating at one point in time.

*Runs like crazy while dodging red blasts of magic*
...interesting...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Vivio got kidnapped again? Curiosity burning.
Burning? Is it BURNING RED? IS THE EAST BURNING RED?!

*RUNZ*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tormenk View Post
Keroko: "Yuuno-kun's late.. "

Chrono: "Ah Keroko there you are. Yuuno said he couldn't make it at the last second so he asked me to replace him."

Keroko:"Oh..I suppose it can't be helped then. Work takes precedence after all."

Chrono: "Shall we ?"

*around the corner Yuuno lies gagged and Struggle Bound*

Yuuno: "Chrughh urgh urghtrd !"


Bwahahaha

Poor Yuuno
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Old 2008-07-03, 17:44   Link #2259
Keroko
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*rubs eyes tiredly* I'm tired and going to sleep, but I managed to finish this before I go.

Spoiler for Syn Virage:
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Last edited by Keroko; 2008-07-06 at 06:44.
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Old 2008-07-03, 17:53   Link #2260
Sheba
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post



I see I'm not the only one thinking of that.



.
Could be worse like.... Fate speeding across roller coaster-like levels to collect rings, free loli clones at the end of stages and giving a beating to Dr Jail. Then optionally turn into Super Fate after collecting the seven Jewel Seeds hidden all over the game.
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