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Old 2009-09-30, 19:49   Link #8361
itanshi1
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Location: Nanoha Used Car Dealership. RERISE!
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Our radar works a lot like Colonel Klink's

Anyways, speaking of war; Since I've seen enough airplane meme pics, I had to do one. I even have a good tag line to go with, so here you go

Spoiler for Warplane Meme - Fury Tempest:
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Old 2009-09-30, 23:13   Link #8362
Oseng
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Well I posted a Enforcer OC a fair while back and while it has taken a while I have finally put together her partner, superior, and a forensic specialist. They are all part of the Hell Hound Enforcer Division which specializes in sensitive cases such as internal affairs issues, classified information, classified/secretive departments or personnel, major cases, etc etc etc.

The profile's are not quite finished, as I need to settle on appearances for them and come up with their spells. Anyway what do you guys think about them and what should I probably change?
Spoiler for Katie Croxton:


Spoiler for James Mazda:


Spoiler for Phillip Crown:


Spoiler for Maiko Corona:
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Old 2009-09-30, 23:23   Link #8363
LoweGear
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Violet right?

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Old 2009-10-01, 03:04   Link #8364
Keroko
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Absent teachers give time for small backlog breakers:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nijiru View Post
I posted a version of this OC a while ago, and received no comments on him. I'm going to assume the lack of responses was because of the haxx OC posted right before mine. I would like some comments on him, thank you all.

Spoiler for Johannes Lucius Ulrich:
A small thing, but wouldn't it be better for Johannes to create his Device under the watchful eyes of the Wolkenritter, rather than the Liezes who are in retirement alongside Graham?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saint X View Post
*folds out of Workspace*

Just a little something that i am working on at the moment, for an OC that is being rehauled back from cold storage.

Spoiler for Force Blade Reijin:


still waiting for a certain pair of people to finish their work so that I... i mean we can reveal what we have done- though the pic above is not related to it..

*disappears in a flurry of notes*
Whoa, big sword user, huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by boomersooner View Post
Yeah I agree, seems a little thrown together haphazardly. Altogether, it looks like times are tough for potential OC posters at the moment. Oh well, i'm a stickler for pain

Spoiler for OC: Mimi:


Please R&R!
This girl makes me wonder how she and Keroko would get along, or do in a spar. Both enjoy physical combat, and both... well... enjoy combat more than the other cast members.

One thing though, the other TSAB branches seeing the Ground Forces as inferior (or rather considering their jobs more important) isn't really a blame of Regius. This was the case long before he became Lieutenant General.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty View Post
Ehh.

So I wrote this in as a way of jumpstarting my brain to write more. I should have Gospel done by the end of the month.

In any case...

Spoiler for a bedtime story:
Spoiler for Notes:
The part where Syn rejects the story for its cliche beginning was downright gut burstingly brilliant. :3

I've also been wondering a bit lately... what if part of Kaon's dislike for Keroko was because she -being Olivie's assistant- was very familiar with Alistina, Olivie's personal bodyguard? That might bring a little sting, especially considering how the calm, collective and calculating Alistina is so vastly different from the impulsive, emotional and battle-jumpy Keroko.

Quote:
Originally Posted by XenahortCharybdis View Post
In Light of all the Lights posted thus far, I have decided we need a little DARKNESS around here.

Thus, I have decided to push forward the posting of my OC by a few days.

Not so much a new one, but a reworking of an ancient idea to better crack less brains.

So...

presenting...

Spoiler for OC - Arcadia Souran, the Twilight Dancer, Remixed and Rematched:


Maybe if I can, I'll draw a picture and place it when I eventually update this thing again.

Anyway, it's way past bedtime here...

...Xena, out.
Gah! Big wall! Biiiig wall of text!

Like many others, it took a bit of trouble to get past the 'closet lolicon' bit. And yes, I did catch that Yagami residence bit. Explain. >:3

Her magic style... makes me wonder what would happen if Nanoha starts charging a Starlight Breaker, which gathers mana in the region.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DKN117 View Post
WARNING: ELEMENTS OF CROSSOVER

Spoiler for sheer length:


Compliments, MINOR nitpicks, constructive criticism accepted; NO FLAMES PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE BE NICE I’M NEW HERE
The biggest flaw I see lies in Tiida's profile, as the guy who killed him was captured later on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheba View Post
I beg to differ. In the order of obvious or most seen, it is Type-Moon > WH40k + Warcraft > Kamen Rider > Gundam > Cool anime of the season (1) > Cool FPS of the season >>>>>>>>> Touhou >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The others.

I would note about Touhou that the more known fans in this thread had been less obvious about their ports, not to mention that mentioned ports are few.

Spoiler for note (1):
It was Warcraft first with the entry of Keroko, 40K later with Glock. And that was my fault as well, as Lowe never intended for me to bring the Necrons in, he merely used the symbol. But crack has a way of spreading in ways we don't expect. Like Tiberium... or should I say bluecheesium?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw View Post
Except Lynn DID call in first. That was the first thing that crackled over Nanoha's radio. I'm not sure how much of my work you actually read... But she DID do as much as to ask before leaping in.

Now, the exact clarity of communications can be questioned but nanoha did indicate 'the more the merrier' without realizing that pretty much let EVERYONE in with her poor word choice
Well, yes, Lynn did call in, but she failed to convey others were joining in as well. Having surprise elements in training is all well and dandy, but these surprise elements are meant for the trainees, not the trainers. Trainers need to be aware of what will happen when, lest situations like these develop.

Which is one error I will accuse Nanoha of making. She accepted Lynn's challenge, but Lynn's challenge had nothing to do with training the forwards. This was a personal battle for her own enjoyment and training. The flaw in this is that training is just that: Training. It's supposed to prevent serious injury of the trainees, and it's supposed to be expected that mistakes will be made and things will go wrong, and therefore the supervisors of the training (in this case Nanoha) have to keep a close eye on what the trainees are doing. Nanoha, however, went off to do her own thing.

Long story short: The first fault lies with Lynn for not discussing with Nanoha what the plan was, the second fault lies with Nanoha for not thinking like a trainer.

... So yeah, everyone is it fault. <_<

Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw View Post
think what I'll do is when I get to the 'dressing down' scene, I'll have Lynn accept the blame for everything. As a perfectionist personality like Lind, her base, she'll see it as a personal failure of her own discipline. Of course, since no harm comes of this in the end (The technical aspects of why that rampage didn't kill Crash outright will be revealed when he wakes up.) She'll be forgiven by everyone else... but she'll go somewhere to blow off some steam the same way any extreme fighter blows off steam when they feel they've screwed up. (They go find some place to practice alone.)

'Sets up a few emotional knots I wanted to work out of her character and gives me a good core basis for a scene idea I'm getting listening to 'Life Light' by Andy Hunter. as well as makes a much clearer method of me to set up a Crash/Lynn pairing. (Had this idea a while back.)

As a note, this adds juicy depth and more personality to the story. Adapting to this bit is nifty.
*Nods* Sounds good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oseng View Post
Well I posted a Enforcer OC a fair while back and while it has taken a while I have finally put together her partner, superior, and a forensic specialist. They are all part of the Hell Hound Enforcer Division which specializes in sensitive cases such as internal affairs issues, classified information, classified/secretive departments or personnel, major cases, etc etc etc.

The profile's are not quite finished, as I need to settle on appearances for them and come up with their spells. Anyway what do you guys think about them and what should I probably change?
Spoiler for Katie Croxton:


Spoiler for James Mazda:


Spoiler for Phillip Crown:


Spoiler for Maiko Corona:
Hmm, nothing really stands out as 'must fix' at first glance. Though maybe a small suggestion. If I recall we also have a forensic division of the TSAB here in OC, it might be fun to have Maiko work alongside the OC's in that division, or maybe even be a part of it.
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Old 2009-10-01, 03:24   Link #8365
Nijiru
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@Keroko: Did Johannes get help from the Wolkenritter while designing his device? Yes, as they would know what stresses a Belkan device would need to be able to go through.
Did the Wolkenritter help with the final building? No, because although they've been maintaining their devices for as far back as they can remember, they lack the resources/knowledge to build one from scratch. Though I'll probably update my copy of his info to clarify this.
I do see a difference between having the skills to keep something in working order, and the skills needed to build the item to start with.
Thanks for the reply.
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Old 2009-10-01, 04:56   Link #8366
Nya~n
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
If I recall we also have a forensic division of the TSAB here in OC, it might be fun to have Maiko work alongside the OC's in that division, or maybe even be a part of it.
We had a forensic division?! Where?
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Old 2009-10-01, 05:20   Link #8367
Sheba
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nya~n View Post
We had a forensic division?! Where?
Right here

Spoiler:
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Old 2009-10-01, 05:35   Link #8368
Nya~n
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheba View Post
right here

Spoiler:
Spoiler for sometimes, you just need to look harder.:
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Old 2009-10-01, 05:45   Link #8369
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Whoa, big sword user, huh?
no, it's a one-handed sword.

And we are still working so i can't get to her at the moment.

*disappears in a storm of notes*
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Old 2009-10-01, 07:54   Link #8370
XenahortCharybdis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Gah! Big wall! Biiiig wall of text!

Like many others, it took a bit of trouble to get past the 'closet lolicon' bit. And yes, I did catch that Yagami residence bit. Explain. >:3

Her magic style... makes me wonder what would happen if Nanoha starts charging a Starlight Breaker, which gathers mana in the region.
1. I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't help it. I know what happened the LAST time I wrote a potentially h4xx skill without explaining everything I could about it without spoiling story or anything - I'm not making the same mistake again.

2. That particular one was a joke - I was thinking 'lol DnD Disadvantage Points!' and then I just wrote it. Never expected everyone to pick it up, and then for me to end up writing CRACK about it.

Explain? Explain...what?

[MJ]Hwee hee hee!

*moonwalks away* You'll find out soon enough.

Ow![/MJ]


3. It really makes me wonder too. Shall we take a bet in streets? I bet one main street and three unlucky alleyways, not factoring in the Blaster Bits Multiplier Effect.
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Old 2009-10-01, 16:08   Link #8371
Tempy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boomersooner View Post
Yeah I agree, seems a little thrown together haphazardly. Altogether, it looks like times are tough for potential OC posters at the moment. Oh well, i'm a stickler for pain

Spoiler for OC: Mimi:


Please R&R!
What bugs me the most here is that this character somehow slipped past me. Then Keroko's backlog breaker brought it to my attention.

And similar to Keroko, I am now curious how well Mimi would get along with Noland. Physical fighters, unrelenting warriors, and incredible toughness. Hell, she's got a spell that's interestingly similar to his.

The Monster of Midchilda meets the Knight of Calamity? Should be fun.

Or worse. Add in Deathwing for a BRAWL.
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Old 2009-10-01, 16:28   Link #8372
NorthernFallout
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And as such, the exploration of Wallachia begins further. The shorts following this will NOT be a rehash of every other short with her (knock out, devoure, laugh + gore). I'm going to explore more, doing stuff different but keeing her in the center and telling more backstory while at the same time giving her character development.

Oh and excuse the first part of this. I couldn't write romance even if my life depended on it so it's cheesy as hell.

Spoiler for A Girl and Her Vengeance:
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Old 2009-10-01, 20:44   Link #8373
Saint X
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And once again...

whoops

*defolds out of workspace*

ahem.

well anyways while waiting for certain associates to finish, out of boredom and again another pending idea, here's another device vector (trace) that i am working on.

Spoiler for Double Handler:




*disappears in a flurry of 1s and 0s*
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Old 2009-10-01, 21:45   Link #8374
Oseng
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Thank you for the photoshop work LoweGear.

If there is some sort of a forensic group then she would probably have worked with them before, though she's part of the Enforcers rather then that group.

Anyway I'm hoping to get started working on a fanfic with these OCs fairly soon.
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Old 2009-10-01, 21:56   Link #8375
TheShinySword
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Fooooooooreeeeeennnnnssssiiiiiiccs?

Remy: Hmm? Someone called? *looks around Smudgy on his head* oh guess not... zzz
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Old 2009-10-01, 22:15   Link #8376
MeisterBabylon
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An Hero would flip at how random his department has become... Then again, I hope he sees this as reason to return once his conscription is over!
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Old 2009-10-02, 02:41   Link #8377
kaworu50
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Members! I don't know about this thread. Can anybody tell me what and how?

At least I post this:
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Old 2009-10-02, 09:04   Link #8378
PhoenixG
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[tsukomi mode] Read the first post [/tsukomi mode]
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Old 2009-10-02, 17:00   Link #8379
AdmiralTigerclaw
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So I'm patching together the planning for the next two chapter here. I probably won't start writing 'till my writing fatigue calms down, but I'm getting brainstorms that just can't be silenced unless I jot down some notes. This will of course, help me do my writing.

Spoiler for 9 and 10 structure:


As a side note, I'm making nuke related hints out of the chapter titles themselves. 'Chain Inaction' a play into the words 'Chain Reaction' and also a good description of what's going on with the unrecognized threat to the TSAB I will be leading into in 9. And of course, Fallout... which is an obvious refference, and an obvious pointer to what's going on in chapter 10.
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Old 2009-10-02, 17:12   Link #8380
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw View Post
Scn 1 Midday
Vivio's getting to see where she's going to go to school soon. (St. Hild) apply liberal amounts of Cute Vivio perspective.
SS04, track 11 actually has Nanoha and Vivio do just that, might want to check that one for accuracy (if that matters in your work, that is).
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