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Old 2008-08-06, 00:42   Link #1
Elagune
Junior Member
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Clans: Original English Manga

First, I'd like to say that it's great to be here on Animesuki forums. It's good to meet you guys and see that so many other people here have the same interests I have.

Second of all, I'd like to remind you to read left-to-right. Just in case.

Haha, joking aside though, this is my manga that I'm currently working on. It's called Clans, and based around the idea of an online game that provides the basework for the manga; similar to Megaman Battle Network or .Hack, though more realistic (they still play with keyboards and mouses/mice?).

I read a lot of manga, and so usually know what I'm doing (I think). I draw a lot of inspiration from mangas like One Piece, which is in my opinion the best shounen manga out there right now (great fight scenes, great pacing, great characters), and Eyeshield 21.

But enough about me. On to the manga!

http://clans-the-manga.deviantart.com/
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Old 2008-08-06, 02:56   Link #2
Delitesco
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Sweden
I read through the pages I found. Found it quite entertaining. I totally understood what was going on storywise and it is well made. I like your characters and level of detail.

What could use some more love is:
- To keep the lines clean. They are sometimes a bit spiky or drawn twice to far from each other.
- Names should be mentioned more. You packed one(?) page with all three names. Then no more.
- Add the background to just a few more of the frames.

But I think you got the humor working well. The shots, poses and variety are good. You got some good stuff going on here. I for one want to read more if you draw more. So update this page when you got more .
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Old 2008-08-06, 13:06   Link #3
Elagune
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Thanks for your comment! I updated again, adding on two pages.

Anyway, you're right about the names thing, I keep forgetting to add them on. As for the backgrounds, I'm honestly not very good at drawing them so I keep them to a minimum, but I'll try to increase my usage in the future.
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Old 2008-08-07, 02:18   Link #4
Delitesco
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Sweden
I totally understand you Elagune. When starting to learn how to draw manga (or even anime) it is way more fun to first learn to draw characters. Making you better to draw chars then backgrounds. But I bet you are up to the challenge .

Nice two last pages, I'm expecting some good fighting schenes now . I like the design of the bad guy! Keep it up!
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Old 2008-08-07, 17:30   Link #5
Elagune
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Haha, thanks! The bad guy's design was kind of come up with on the spot, since I'm just using this segment of the story to explain some of the basics of the game and using this chance to give Jake, the main character, some time to get used to it. Expect even more action scenes to come up, and at least one "named" attack, since it wouldn't be shounen without one.

Two more pages up.
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Old 2008-08-08, 03:11   Link #6
Delitesco
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Sweden
You are on a drawing streak man. You made FIVE pages while I was asleep.

You are very good with your usage of speed lines aswell. May I ask for how long you have been drawing? And what programs you are using?
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Old 2008-08-08, 18:39   Link #7
Elagune
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delitesco View Post
You are on a drawing streak man. You made FIVE pages while I was asleep.

You are very good with your usage of speed lines aswell. May I ask for how long you have been drawing? And what programs you are using?
I've been drawing since in preschool, when a kid named Billy taught me to draw DBZ, or a horrible preschooler's rendition of DBZ anyway. It just kind of went from there, and so I've been drawing for about twelve years now. As for the program, I was using Corel Painter and Photoshop for the earlier ones, but for the later ones Photoshop is the way to go.

I'm getting very frustrated with my inability to write. All the lines so far sound like bad translations (maybe I've been reading too much manga), and the story itself is a little bland, I think. I guess I'm going to be looking for a writer, then.
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Old 2008-08-09, 04:08   Link #8
Delitesco
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Sweden
Being both a good drawar and good writer is quite rare accually. I, for one, am WAY better of drawing then making up stories. Some people are the complete opposite. I don't think your story is bad at all. It doesn't need much depth already but as the story keeps going on it will need some major obstacle to overcome.

What is your goal with this manga? Free web comic? Or something bigger?
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Old 2008-08-10, 06:19   Link #9
Nenkitsune
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Age: 25
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Yeah, I'm jealous. Instead of writing a manga (which I think would work better in my case) I'm stuck writing a small novel XD (and NONE of you will ever see it. I'm way to self consious to allow that to happen)
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