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Old 2010-10-15, 21:42   Link #201
Moczo
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Heh... I don't know if I should be happy that I seem to have brought the FSN fanfic thread back to life, or worried that I seem to have turned it into a hotbed of controversy over a plot point that hasn't actually happened yet...
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Old 2010-10-15, 22:54   Link #202
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Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Heh... I don't know if I should be happy that I seem to have brought the FSN fanfic thread back to life, or worried that I seem to have turned it into a hotbed of controversy over a plot point that hasn't actually happened yet...
I'd consider it an accomplishment, myself. It means people are really interested in the plot points of your fic!
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Old 2010-10-16, 00:17   Link #203
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I'd say it's a good thing, since argument is better than death.
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Old 2010-10-16, 00:22   Link #204
Moczo
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I'd consider it an accomplishment, myself. It means people are really interested in the plot points of your fic!
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I'd say it's a good thing, since argument is better than death.
Whoo-hoo! I inspire debate, yo!
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Old 2010-10-17, 17:22   Link #205
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So, here we go with chapter 3: the chapter that fought me the whole way, takes a huge step away from HF canon, and is perhaps the one chapter I feel the most nervous about posting. With that said, here we go!

Spoiler for Into The Rain: The Situation of Matou Sakura:


So yeah, no additional notes to post at the moment. I think this chapter really speaks for itself, and I'm kind of worn out since I've been working on it all day. Please enjoy!

As A Result of Bad Planning
The Contradiction of Tohsaka Rin
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Old 2010-10-17, 18:09   Link #206
Moczo
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Spoiler for Rain Review:
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Old 2010-10-18, 10:22   Link #207
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Spoiler for Rain Review:
Yes, well, I've found Shirou makes an excellent punching bag in that sense. You can hurt him as much as you like and he never breaks completely. But yeah, in his case, it's going to get worse before it gets better, though it does get better for him; now I just need to figure out in what way it gets better for him....

Quote:
Spoiler:
Morning after is certainly going to be interesting, that's for sure. I replayed through it just a minute ago to get the general feel for the scene when it was Shirou and Sakura, and I already have some ideas of how to tweak it for Rain.
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Old 2010-10-18, 10:37   Link #208
Ricky Controversy
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Spoiler for Fate/Last Forge:
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Old 2010-10-18, 10:39   Link #209
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Yes, well, I've found Shirou makes an excellent punching bag in that sense. You can hurt him as much as you like and he never breaks completely. But yeah, in his case, it's going to get worse before it gets better, though it does get better for him; now I just need to figure out in what way it gets better for him....

Morning after is certainly going to be interesting, that's for sure. I replayed through it just a minute ago to get the general feel for the scene when it was Shirou and Sakura, and I already have some ideas of how to tweak it for Rain.
Well... I've been reading your other works long enough to know you'll deliver on both of those promises in a satisfying manner, so I'm content to wait and see how they both play out. Should be interesting... I cannot, off the top of my head, think of another story that's taken this option.

As always, my inbox is open if you want my opinion on a scene or need to bounce an idea off me. I can't seem to help spoiling you to my story, it's only fair you return the favor I suppose
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Old 2010-10-18, 10:45   Link #210
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Originally Posted by Ricky Controversy View Post
Spoiler for Fate/Last Forge:
...

Well, now I'm hooked.

Just curious, is this OCs only, or will the main cast of Fate be making an appearance of some sort? I can already imagine wacky hijinks where they confuse Shirou for Mugen for some strange reason.

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As always, my inbox is open if you want my opinion on a scene or need to bounce an idea off me. I can't seem to help spoiling you to my story, it's only fair you return the favor I suppose
Spoiler for Rain:
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Old 2010-10-18, 10:50   Link #211
Ricky Controversy
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...

Well, now I'm hooked.

Just curious, is this OCs only, or will the main cast of Fate be making an appearance of some sort? I can already imagine wacky hijinks where they confuse Shirou for Mugen for some strange reason.
Spoiler:
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Old 2010-10-18, 10:56   Link #212
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Originally Posted by Ricky Controversy View Post
Spoiler for Fate/Last Forge:
Hmmmm. Well, I'm operating under the assumption that Mugen Ken is Shirou until told otherwise. The only other real option is Archer, and since this seems to follow the ending of UBW only one of those options is freely available.

Which would mean Cloth is an assassin for the Mage's Association? Not a terribly efficient one, with the kidnapping and glass in the eyes before he makes the hit, but we all have our quirks I suppose . Still, the association seems the most likely people to hire him for something like this; they don't look kindly on people running around being superheroes, and I'm pretty sure that a working Reality Marble in a human would be enough to have them hunt Shirou down even if he wasn't a spectacle.

Well, an intriguing beginning, and I like your writing style from what I've seen of it. Looking forward to more.
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Old 2010-10-18, 11:14   Link #213
Ricky Controversy
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Hmmmm. Well, I'm operating under the assumption that Mugen Ken is Shirou until told otherwise. The only other real option is Archer, and since this seems to follow the ending of UBW only one of those options is freely available.
Spoiler:


Quote:
Which would mean Cloth is an assassin for the Mage's Association? Not a terribly efficient one, with the kidnapping and glass in the eyes before he makes the hit, but we all have our quirks I suppose .
Spoiler:


Quote:
Well, an intriguing beginning, and I like your writing style from what I've seen of it. Looking forward to more.
Thanks! Hopefully it will be enjoyable for people to read as it is for me to churn out. I'll probably go back and polish chapters from time to time, but I think I'll continue to do this 'posting the first draft' thing just to prevent myself from falling into my usual perfectionist stagnation.
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Old 2010-10-18, 12:01   Link #214
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Spoiler:
Spoiler:
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Old 2010-10-18, 12:05   Link #215
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Spoiler:
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Old 2010-10-18, 12:08   Link #216
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Old 2010-10-18, 12:20   Link #217
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Old 2010-10-18, 12:33   Link #218
Ricky Controversy
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Haha, I find it rather amusing that Cloth's quirkiness has already taken on a life of its own despite just being in one chapter. He does certainly try to keep himself a bit straightened for 'business' purposes, but...yeah. At the end of the day, Cloth is Cloth. XD
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Old 2010-10-18, 13:18   Link #219
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Well... I've been reading your other works long enough to know you'll deliver on both of those promises in a satisfying manner, so I'm content to wait and see how they both play out. Should be interesting... I cannot, off the top of my head, think of another story that's taken this option.
There was another story that took it in a similiar direction. A doujin called Winter's Tale. Its NSFW though.

As to the story itself, a rather....interesting way of reversing that scene. I guess if they were emotionally vulnerable enough and reconciled in this way, it could happen, but I still would think that she would desire Shirou at this point, even if she was attracted to Rin (which she is, because she sees her as what an ideal woman should be like) and driven by the last worm. There is quite of bit of guilt and uncertainty surronding this for them, so I can't say I would feel it was good for them in the long run to pursue this, but that's my opinion. I got a feeling I know where this is going, but I'll wait and see.
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Old 2010-10-18, 16:07   Link #220
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I felt a little bad for Shirou, truly. He kind of just got his hopes crushed after finally working up the courage to admit his feelings. He's putting on a brave face, but he just took a hit, that much is clear. How this changes his actions for the remainder of the storyline will be probably just as interesting as seeing the main relationship develop, to be honest... his whole world just got overturned twice in the space of a few days, once when he realized his feelings, and again when he couldn't act on them.
Yeah, I do feel a little sorry for him at the moment, because he's finally come to realise how much he cares for Sakura, only to find out that he is a day too late. But, I don't think the door is entirely shut for him yet, because even if Sakura and Rin are growing closer, they still both have feelings for Shirou, and those aren't going to go away in a hurry. If he plays his cards right, he could end up with both Tohsaka sisters, and since they both love each other (and are willing to have sex together) that would be an almost ideal scenario for all three of them.

Quote:
Nice bonding scenes with the sisters. It seems that the first night was good for them, because they're already closer than they ever got in HF. I guess one saving the other's life will do that.
Well, Rin here has essentially come to the same realisation as she came to in the cave, only she's done it a good five or six days earlier. So, I guess that their relationship would now be about as close as they were shortly after HF, although the fact that she's realised it at the first opportunity, when there are still other choices to make (as opposed to in HF, where she blundered through repeatedly dodging the question of "can I kill Sakura?" by finding excuses to put it off and only actually definitively answered "no" when the question was posted for the very final time) will of course change things massively (and, in particular, it's already

Quote:
And I admit I chuckled when Rin said, "I have no intention of killing Sakura at this point". She gets right to the point, I see .
Yeah, that was just the sort of thing that Rin would say.

Quote:
I knew this was going to happen, so it's not a twist to me, but I'll say that it still kind of felt like one somehow. Does that make sense? Like... I knew it was coming but still didn't quite expect it. The build-up to the scene worked well; their reasoning was just logical enough to convince themselves, and just contrived enough to hint that they're kind of lying to themselves about it just being 'mana transfer'.
Yeah, it works well. Of course, both girls will feel really odd about it and will have to do a lot of convincing

Quote:
Despite what Rin might say, if she called Shirou and said, 'please come back, Sakura might die if you don't', he would have, and the fact that she didn't make that call showed that deep down she did not want to. And Sakura could easily have requested she do so, but did not.
Well, yes, he would, but at the same time, Rin isn't the sort of person to force someone else to do something that she is capable of doing herself, especially with regards to her own sister.

Quote:
They don't have a normal sisterly relationship, after all, and they certainly had enough subtext in-game to make an attraction plausible. That night in the rain could easily be enough to bring that out in both of them, even though for the moment they're not quite willing to admit it and telling themselves it's solely out of necessity.
Exactly. Rin is definitely bisexual, Sakura (in her Dark form) shows signs of attraction towards Rin and, whilst they're sisters, they do indeed not have a 'normal' relationship in any sense of the word.

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Yes, well, I've found Shirou makes an excellent punching bag in that sense. You can hurt him as much as you like and he never breaks completely. But yeah, in his case, it's going to get worse before it gets better, though it does get better for him; now I just need to figure out in what way it gets better for him....
Well, I can think of one really obvious way in which it can get better for him....

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What about Sakura? What has happened to her?
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