Fate/stay night FanFiction Discussion

[GDB]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Spoiler for Alter:

And thus, one of the reasons I really wish I could develop this further. I know that in the game Alter is emotionless, but the thought of her being nested inside Saber and screwing around with her is a possibility I enjoy considering way too much. Plus, it's fun to play around with Saber being tempted into corruption. But yeah, if I had the chance to develop it, Alter would take sadistic pleasure in messing around with Saber.

Take into account that I haven't actually read your fanfic yet, but I have a jist of the goings-ons based on what's been said thus far:

Spoiler for Alter:

In theory, Saber Alter was emotionless because she was trapped in the Shadow/Angra Mainyu for so long. If she merely corrupted over time, I don't see why she couldn't keep emotions, just wicked emotions.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

Well, it's not entirely true that Sakura doesn't like Saber. Actually, when they get to know each other, they get on rather well. It's just that Sakura sees her as endangering Shirou, and thus wants her gone so that he won't fight any more.

I never said that Sakura didn't (or couldn't) like Saber. I just said that developing the two side by side is a bit of a daunting task to me at the moment because I, personally, do not have a good grasp of Sakura's character and don't know how well I'd do at developing her in the story.

Spoiler for HF:

As for Alter, well, I'd imagine it'd go somewhat like how Sakura's transformation goes, with the seed of Angra Mainyu inside her gradually acting to corrupt her until something bad happens that causes her to give in to the corruption.

[/quote]

Spoiler for HF:

That's my plan right now, yeah. For the time being Saber has her corruption under control (though she's aware of it, on some level), but it will gradually get worse over time until a major event finally pushes her over the edge and causes her to accept the corruption and allow Alter to manifest. The problem then becomes, in this scenario, whether or not Saber could regain control after that.

Originally Posted by GDB

Spoiler for Alter:

In theory, Saber Alter was emotionless because she was trapped in the Shadow/Angra Mainyu for so long. If she merely corrupted over time, I don't see why she couldn't keep emotions, just wicked emotions.

Spoiler for Alter:

Yeah, that was what I was playing with. My theory being that if Alter had been corrupted over time (in this case, was in Saber sooner and given more time to, I don't know, exist?), she would be more prone to expressing emotions towards Saber. Of course, mostly she just expresses negative emotions and temptation for Saber to give in to the corruption.

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

As I mentioned earlier, for the time being I have no plans of extending this beyond the next section, which is the morning after. I simply haven't played through HF enough to know how Saber living on would have impacted certain scenarios differently (though I'm far along in the game to see one scenario that could have possibly been changed, depending on how much I feel like playing with it).

Well, yeah. Honestly I'm strugging to work out how it would have changed things, or at least to work out a way that it would change things to not fuck everything up. It would be an interesting story to write, but I think it'd be very difficult unless you knew Sakura's character, Saber's character and Shirou's character in great detail, plus knew how exactly HF works and what everyone's plans are.

On top of that, staying true to HF would also mean having to play through the route numerous times in order to know the whole thing inside out, unless I get to a point where Saber surviving is so altering that I come up with things off the top of my head, which I doubt.

Yeah, definitely. Like I said, I am finding it hard to work out how it would go, although it is something I'd be interested in writing if I had the time (although, of course, I would definitely make it Shirou x Sakura, with Saber likely remaining as Shirou's friend/protector like in UBW).

Spoiler for HF:

The school fight scene would be interesting, though, because with a 2-on-1 Rider wouldn't stand a chance (well, she chould survive the fight, but she wouldn't be able to protect Sakura), so it would come down to whether either Shirou or Rin would allow their respective servants to kill Sakura (Rin might, but I can't imagine Shirou doing so), and indeed whether the servants would be willing to do so. OTOH, Saber might downright tell Rin to leave it to her and, thus, end up fighting Rider in Archer's place. But, then again, I don't see Rin obeying that order, given that her sister is in danger.

Spoiler for HF:

Beyond that, I have to admit that developing Sakura and Saber side by side for this story is a daunting task for me. Both of them are equally important in the plot with this change, Sakura having been important all along and Saber surviving when she should have died.

Yeah, it would be. Saber's death is important in HF because it frees Shirou from the whole "Grail War" thing and leaves him to just protect Sakura, plus it makes his situation seem more 'hopeless'. Keeping her alive would change the story massively.

I don't feel like I grasp Sakura's character well enough to develop her very well outside of what little bit the game has given me on her characterization, which to be honest isn't very much to work with in the first place.

Well, you'd need to finish HF before you had a chance, but even then I suspect your attitude to her is such that you couldn't characterise her reasonably. But, I can't be certain of that....

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

although, of course, I would definitely make it Shirou x Sakura, with Saber likely remaining as Shirou's friend/protector like in UBW.

And since I happen to not be horribly inclined towards Sakura/Shirou, I'd probably have a much harder time of it than you would, I admit. At the very most I'd probably end up developing a possible threesome situation, but then that would require forming a deeper bond between Saber and Sakura without sacrificing the feelings she already has for Shirou.

Well, you'd need to finish HF before you had a chance, but even then I suspect your attitude to her is such that you couldn't characterise her reasonably. But, I can't be certain of that....

I've written characters I don't care much for several times and have pulled it off without complaints, so I'm rather certain that I could do it with Sakura if I wanted to. The problem is, IMO, I'm honestly not getting enough development on Sakura in-game at the moment to really feel like I grasp her character.

EDIT:

Spoiler for HF:

Also, the fight with Rider would vary depending. As she's been depicted so far, Saber is extremely worn out from escaping the shadow and probably won't recover from it right away, so even if she wanted to fight Rider she'd have a difficult time of it currently in her condition. She has no real way of replacing the mana she lost from escaping, so she's very weak right now.

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

And since I happen to not be horribly inclined towards Sakura/Shirou, I'd probably have a much harder time of it than you would, I admit. At the very most I'd probably end up developing a possible threesome situation, but then that would require forming a deeper bond between Saber and Sakura without sacrificing the feelings she already has for Shirou.

Well, I'd say that a threesome would be the absoulte least (or most, I suppose, depending on your viewpoint...) that Sakura could get out of such a situation without it going horribly wrong or you writing everyone to be miles OOC. The way HF develops is such that Shirou will inevitably fall for Sakura unless he pushes her away entirely, which results in her death and him becoming a heartless killer like his father (who would, therefore, see Saber as nothing more than a tool). Saber could wiggle her way in there too, if Sakura comes to care for her (which, if she's protecting Shirou when he's made it quite clear that his involvement is not conditional on having a servant, she might well come to do), but the Shirou x Sakura pairing is guarenteed to develop, because of how their relationship is set up and how HF goes. Shirou's feelings for Saber develop over the course of Fate whereas, in truth, all that happens in HF is that Shirou comes to realise that he's had feelings for Sakura all along, and just didn't see them until the events of HF happened, so it's hard to see a relationship with Saber developing whilst he's protecting Sakura, and if he doesn't protect Sakura HF doesn't work.

I've written characters I don't care much for several times and have pulled it off without complaints, so I'm rather certain that I could do it with Sakura if I wanted to.

Well, the thing with Sakura is that she's very open to alternate interpretations, and if you're doing a story like this (that necessarily needs to be sympathetic towards her), you kind of have to get her right, which isn't easy. It depends, fundamentally, whether you don't like her because you don't like how she really is, or whether you don't like her because you've misinterpreted her character (like a lot of people).

The problem is, IMO, I'm honestly not getting enough development on Sakura in-game at the moment to really feel like I grasp her character.

Well, most of her character development comes later on in the route, I think (depending on how far you've got).

Spoiler for HF:

Also, the fight with Rider would vary depending. As she's been depicted so far, Saber is extremely worn out from escaping the shadow and probably won't recover from it right away, so even if she wanted to fight Rider she'd have a difficult time of it currently in her condition. She has no real way of replacing the mana she lost from escaping, so she's very weak right now.

True, I suppose, although that likely wouldn't stop her trying. Of course, mana recovery through the 'standard' method is simply not plausible here (well, unless it involves a threesome with Sakura's consent...), so she'd have to either contract with Rin or Sakura or else lie there doing not much for the rest of the war.

[GDB]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

Well, yeah. Honestly I'm strugging to work out how it would have changed things, or at least to work out a way that it would change things to not fuck everything up.

It'd probably help to have a day-by-day cliff note of what happened. I'm finding it hard to just remember when things happened, rather than what happened.


Honestly...

Spoiler for Alter / HF:

Again, not having read it, I'd say to find some way to put it back on the standard HF path if you wanted to make it work. Have her corruption build up until the time when Saber Alter first appears in normal HF, and have that be the ultimate corruption point and Shirou loses control of her then.

Furthermore...

Spoiler for HF Ending:

I'd personally remove Kotomine from the ending, since he didn't really make that much sense in the first place. Have it so when Shirou was going to kill Saber Alter, she gets called back by Angra Mainyu for healing or whatever. Then, she reappears when Kotomine would have. Integrate "Mind of Steel" to replace the Kotomine battle, and then finish off with the HF True ending from there. Saber wouldn't be at 100% power yet, since the healing was interrupted, which prevents Shirou from going to the brink of losing his mind. He'd still be badass, but only use as much as against Kotomine.

[RadiantBeam]

So yeah, in conclusion, that's why this will all be wrapped up in part four. I can't say I don't want to expand it, because I do, but I have enough projects going as it is, and I don't know how well I'd do at retelling the events of HF, all things considered. Which really sucks because I enjoyed writing Alter in part 3, especially with her world and her interaction with Saber, but if I wanted to go any further into it I'd have to develop this as a full fic, which I don't think I can handle at the moment.

EDIT: Though on the up side, after this, that Ayako/Shirou fanfic I had in mind seems like a piece of cake compared to this...

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by GDB

Spoiler for Alter / HF:

Again, not having read it, I'd say to find some way to put it back on the standard HF path if you wanted to make it work. Have her corruption build up until the time when Saber Alter first appears in normal HF, and have that be the ultimate corruption point and Shirou loses control of her then.

Well, yeah, that could work, but it'd just end like HF in that case, almost certainly.

Spoiler for HF Ending:

I'd personally remove Kotomine from the ending, since he didn't really make that much sense in the first place. Have it so when Shirou was going to kill Saber Alter, she gets called back by Angra Mainyu for healing or whatever. Then, she reappears when Kotomine would have. Integrate "Mind of Steel" to replace the Kotomine battle, and then finish off with the HF True ending from there. Saber wouldn't be at 100% power yet, since the healing was interrupted, which prevents Shirou from going to the brink of losing his mind. He'd still be badass, but only use as much as against Kotomine.

Wouldn't work.

Spoiler for HF Ending:

If Shirou doesn't kill Saber, then Sakura calls her back and uses her to subdue Rin when Rin pisses her off with her "I don't give a crap" speech. Thus, if you allow for Saber Alter to be recalled by Sakura in that way, you get bad end 40. Also, Saber heals almost instantly, thanks to Sakura's mana supply, and she's also Sakura's servant, so if Sakura were to be freed she would likely obey orders and just give up.

[GDB]

Originally Posted by Cherry_Lover

Well, yeah, that could work, but it'd just end like HF in that case, almost certainly.

Wasn't that the point? To expand on a specific scene and its ramifications on the characters without having to completely rewrite the entire route?

Wouldn't work.

Spoiler for HF Ending:

If Shirou doesn't kill Saber, then Sakura calls her back and uses her to subdue Rin when Rin pisses her off with her "I don't give a crap" speech. Thus, if you allow for Saber Alter to be recalled by Sakura in that way, you get bad end 40. Also, Saber heals almost instantly, thanks to Sakura's mana supply, and she's also Sakura's servant, so if Sakura were to be freed she would likely obey orders and just give up.

Spoiler for HF Ending:

Well, I was going more on the assumption that she takes a bigger beating, and might actually have started to be killed, but not entirely. Otherwise, some heavy rewrites would have to happen for that area to carry it out.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by GDB

Wasn't that the point? To expand on a specific scene and its ramifications on the characters without having to completely rewrite the entire route?

Well, yeah, but like I mentioned earlier, I'm not going to make this a very long fic. Part four is the last part of it I'll write and then I'll be done with it, unless I really get the feeling that I can handle it without majorly messing anything up. Otherwise it'll be complete after part four because I'm wary about getting into that kind of situation with HF.

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by GDB

Spoiler for HF Ending:

Well, I was going more on the assumption that she takes a bigger beating, and might actually have started to be killed, but not entirely. Otherwise, some heavy rewrites would have to happen for that area to carry it out.

That's what happened in HF, though.

Spoiler:

Sakura's just has so much magic that she can heal inside a few minutes regardless.

[RadiantBeam]

So, here we are, part 4. It might be the final part, it might not. I'm honestly very uncertain about it at the moment. For now I'll leave it at this, but I might develop it into more given the chance. Until then, please enjoy!

Spoiler for A Change in Fate, part 4:

“So, you turn away from the warmth, little king?”

A clawed hand tapped to a light tune against the sword hilt; a soft humming echoed throughout the frozen landscape. In the darkness, the creature bared its teeth in a grin.

“Well, then, game on. Let’s see how long you last before you give in.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

“N…. gh.”

She woke with a soft grunt. Grimacing at how brightly the sunlight streamed into her room, the Servant named Saber finally found the strength to sit up, moving slowly. Her muscles still ached, and her whole body felt heavy, but she wasn’t so weak that she couldn’t move around.

Quietly, she flexed her hand, curling her fingers into a fist. Her body was slow to respond, and she still felt faded pain. No doubt it would take her days to recover the mana she had lost while fighting off the shadow; had Shirou been a proper Master, such a thing wouldn’t be a problem, but….

But he isn’t a proper magus, and I swore an oath to be his sword in this war. I knew what I was getting into when I chose to shake his hand.

Shaking her head to ward off her thoughts, the blonde slowly got to her feet. Beside her, Shirou still slept; she had no doubt he was going to be stiff when he woke up. Looking at him, she sighed. “Really, now,” she said, “you could have at least lain down on your side, you fool. I wouldn’t have noticed anyway.”

He didn’t stir; she felt herself soften. The boy had to be exhausted. She didn’t know what had happened, but he had brushed against death; such an experience would tire anyone out, even someone with her Master’s spirit and stamina. He deserved to sleep as much as he could, at least for today.

Moving gently so as to not wake him, Saber laid her Master down and slid her pillow under his head, adjusting the blanket accordingly. She didn’t know how much it would help in the long run, but she wouldn’t be at peace until she was sure Shirou was comfortable. Satisfied that he was still peacefully sleeping, Saber left her room, sliding the door shut behind her softly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

“… Ow.”

Moving around so soon after escaping the shadow, once Saber really thought about it, wasn’t the most brilliant idea she’d ever had. The instant she started moving, her whole body protested; her muscles screamed, her bones throbbed, and a headache blazed to life against her temples, pounding against her skull in tune to a war song. Even so, she refused to stay down; she was weak, not crippled.

Focusing on her destination made it easier. Giving herself no room or freedom to think, Saber headed for the kitchen with a single-minded determination, like an animal seeking its next meal. So focused was she on her task that she passed right by Sakura, who watched her go in confusion, forgot to turn into the living room, and crashed face first into a cabinet.

“Ah! Saber-san!”

Startled out of her single-minded thought process, Saber stumbled back at the sharp sting of pain and instinctively brought a hand to her head, grimacing. Ironically enough, the pain of walking into the cabinet had distracted her from the aches and pains of her body; it was as if one source of pain canceled out the other. “Good morning, Sakura,” she managed between gritted teeth as the younger girl rushed to her aid. “Please, don’t. I’m fine.”

“But—you, your head, you walked right into—“

“I know. I wasn’t paying attention. Please forgive me for distracting you.”

Sakura stared dumbly at the Servant for a moment before she lowered the hands that had come up to examine Saber’s head. “I-If you say so, Saber-san.” In all honesty, she itched to check the small cut on the other girl’s forehead, but if Saber said she was fine… besides, Sakura knew she couldn’t push Saber half as well as she could push Shirou.

For a moment, they both stood there awkwardly. Finally, Sakura cleared her throat. “Did you sleep well last night?” she asked softly. “You were still unconscious when Senpai brought you home…”

“Ah, yes, I feel much better now. Thank you for asking.” Saber smiled. “I just feel a little pain from what happened last night, but otherwise I’m having no other problems.”

“That’s good.” Going back to the meal she had been preparing, Sakura hesitated only a minute before she pushed a cup towards Saber. “I made this for you,” she said. “It’s English tea. I know you like it.”

A peace offering, of sorts, Saber supposed. Accepting the cup, she lifted it to her lips and sipped.

“Is it good?”

It tasted cold. It occurred to Saber then that Sakura might have made it last night, while they had been out; she had probably forgotten about it in the events that had followed. “Delicious.” She drained the cup in one gulp. “Thank you, Sakura. I appreciate it.” She peered curiously over the girl’s shoulder. “And breakfast?”

Laughing at that, the purple-haired girl gently batted her companion away. “It’ll be ready in a few minutes, so please be patient. Find something to do for a little while, please?”

Grumbling good-naturedly and smiling when she earned a giggle from Sakura for her antics, Saber got the hint and started to leave the kitchen; she would respect Sakura’s request.

“Saber-san.” Sakura’s voice had softened.

Saber glanced over her shoulder. “Yes?”

“… Thank you for last night.” Her hands tightened around the cutting knife she held. “I know…. Senpai told me you were like that because you protected him. So… thank you. I know it must have hurt, but, thank you for protecting Senpai.”

Saber was quiet for a moment as she gazed at Sakura; like Taiga before her, there was nothing but pure, honest truth in the girl’s words. Sighing softly, she turned away and lifted her hand as she walked. “There’s no reason to thank me, Sakura,” she murmured. “I already told you when I came here, right? My intention is to protect Shirou no matter what.”

Sakura said nothing to that, but Saber had a feeling the girl was smiling. Stepping outside of the house and into the yard, the blonde Servant sighed and slumped back against the wall, rubbing her eyes.

“Don’t say things like that,” she whispered. “Because if you do, I’ll be inclined to protect you, too.”

She tilted her head up, gazing up at the clear blue sky.

“… My headache came back.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

Shirou woke to the sound of birds chirping and the distinct feeling that he was alone in the room. Opening his eyes confirmed what he already suspected; he was lying down, and Saber was gone.

Crap, she’s quiet.

Shaking off his blanket, the boy hastily got to his feet and shot into the hallway. Seeing no sign of Saber there, he headed to the living room next. Sakura was in the kitchen still cooking, but the green-eyed blonde was nowhere to be seen.

There was only one place left, then. Breaking into a run without even realizing it, Shirou ignored Sakura’s startled look and headed outside, across the grass. Panting, he reached the door of the dojo and peered inside, his shoulders heaving.

He saw her then. Sitting Japanese style in the sunlight, her eyes closed, her breathing deep and even, Saber was the picture of composure and calm. Slowly, he breathed out a long sigh of relief and slumped against the side; she was alive. It hadn’t just been a dream. For a horrific moment, he had thought he had imagined her survival.

Shaking his head to clear it, Shirou slapped his cheeks and straightened up, stepping into the dojo. “Saber?”

Her eyes opened at his call; she looked up at him in response. He froze.

Her eyes had changed. The deep depths, the main color, was still the same green he had come to know over the past six days; the same deep, calm, unshakable green. But there were flecks, traces, of yellow in those same eyes that hadn’t been there last night.

It was a small change. A small change, so why did it scare him?

“Shirou?”

He blinked; in the time he had spaced out, Saber had stood and was currently in front of him, concerned in her changed eyes. “Shirou?” she repeated, lifting a hand. “Are you feeling well?”

Noticing she was way too close for his peace of mind, Shirou hastily took a few steps back. “S-Sorry,” he stammered out, wondering why his face was heating up. “I spaced out for a minute.” He took a deep breath, then blew it out, before he smiled. “I’m glad to see you up and around, Saber.”

A thin golden eyebrow arched at that. “Is there any reason I wouldn’t be up? It will take more than a shadow to do me in.”

“Still, I’m glad you’re okay.” He had questions about what had happened, what she had seen, and he knew he had to tell her about Zouken and how Rider had saved him, but first things first. “I want to talk to you about what happened last night.”

She blinked. “Yes?”

“You separated us.” Shirou frowned. “I know you meant well, Saber, but I don’t want you to do that again.”

Saber blinked again, then nodded. “I understand. If I do such a thing again, we could end up in a situation similar to last night.”

…

She didn’t get it. Shirou growled softly. “I don’t mean that,” he snapped. “What I meant was, you’re not going to put yourself into a situation where you don’t think of protecting yourself to try and save me.”

Saber’s eyes flashed at that; she scowled and squared her shoulders. “I only obeyed my duty as a Servant, Shirou,” she snapped back. “Protecting you is my top priority. Saving myself means nothing if you are lost in the process.”

“I don’t care!” He could feel his anger rising; she didn’t understand. “What I’m saying is, never do that again, got it? I’ll use a Command Spell on you if I have to.”

“Of all the—“

“Do you know what that was like for me?”

His voice had softened now; it made her freeze, the raw anger, the pain, the self-hatred she heard in his tone. “Shirou?” she whispered.

“Do you know what it was like, knowing you were on the other side of the door and there was nothing I could do if something happened? That I had agreed to help you, and yet I was so powerless?” His voice cracked. “I know you’re a Servant, Saber. I know you can take worse than that. But dammit, don’t make me feel that again. Don’t make me feel helpless because you’re in trouble and there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

She opened her mouth, then slowly closed it. Shirou had bowed his head; his eyes were closed, his teeth tightly grinding together. He was admitting his feelings to her, she realized. He was admitting that he had felt helpless, powerless. And he had hated it.

How can I say anything against that?

His eyes snapped open at a soft touch; she was touching the top of his head, a gentle pat, a soothing gesture, before she lowered it. “If that is my Master’s order,” she said softly, “then I will do my very best to obey it.”

He took a deep, trembling breath; her eyes met his evenly, and she hid nothing. “Is that a promise?” he asked.

She smiled. “It is.”

He nearly broke then. Had he been less reserved, Shirou would have probably yanked Saber into a tight bear hug. As it was, he satisfied them both by smiling shakily and offering her his right hand. “Then,” he said, “we’ll remain partners the rest of the way. Let’s see how this ends, Saber.”

There was no hesitation in her now; her hand lifted, met his, and their fingers clasped firmly. A sign of trust, of partnership. The shadow hadn’t managed to destroy that.

“Yes. Let’s, Shirou.”

And so a new day dawned on the city of Fuyuki.

I have to say, I'm satisfied with this. It was fun to work on, and I enjoyed writing the interaction between the characters.

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

1. Saber came across a bit goofier than I originally intended, to be honest, but for some reason I thought it fit. Saber in HF is much more open than either of her UBW or Fate versions, so I thought she'd be more prone to moments of humor than they were. Hence, some of her moments with Sakura in the section.

2. I debated adding Saber's line at the end towards Sakura, but I felt it fit her mood, and Saber honestly likes Sakura. Besides, I thought it would be some fun minor foreshadowing of things to come, if I expand on this.

3. Shirou's outburst. I don't know how it happened. I just saw him being really furious with Saber for doing what she did, and then his words came pouring out. Maybe it's slightly OOC, but honestly, I could see him having this reaction; being the type who wants to save everyone, Shirou would be angered by someone not protecting themselves.

Links for the previous parts:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

[Cherry_Lover]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

2. I debated adding Saber's line at the end towards Sakura, but I felt it fit her mood, and Saber honestly likes Sakura. Besides, I thought it would be some fun minor foreshadowing of things to come, if I expand on this.

Yeah, I can see how this could end up working now.

Spoiler for HF:

If Saber comes to care for Sakura (and vice-versa) then she will assist Shirou in protecting her when the time comes, and if they're mutually fond of each other then a Shirou x Sakura x Saber threesome is actually plausible. I could easily see this ending in a "HF Good" ending (like the one I was talking about in other threads as a potential sequel hook), since without Dark Saber there to assist the shadow Archer may not have died and Shirou may not have lost his arm. That, together with Saber's potential ability to destroy the Grail using Excalibur (which she can do without dying, potentially, due to her contract with Sakura providing her with prana) could result in everyone surviving.

Even if Saber does go Dark, it's possible that she could be saved here, because whereas in HF her soul itself is seemingly corrupted, here she is seemingly more like Sakura, with a contract with Angra Mainyu that Shirou could break using Rule Breaker.

[RadiantBeam]

To be honest, I'm still debating whether or not to continue it. Right now I'm strongly inclined to keep going, if only because I have some really good ideas for the next few scenes of the route, but at the same time I felt like I had a pretty good end point.

Spoiler for HF:

But I have to admit, after seeing the fight with Rider, I'd have all kinds of fun with that given that I could bring Saber in and have her succumb to Alter, since I've mostly developed Alter as a being different from how she's presented in the game canon.

Also, I have to say, there's some fun potential angst for the Shirou/Sakura/Saber threesome. With Shirou Sakura could be satisfied with her urges and cravings for magical energy, but she could never get that from Saber even if she wanted to make love with her. So that would be a fun angle to develop, if possible.

[Endscape]

I'm kicking myself for just now noticing this. As expected from you, RadiantBeam, a great story. I know that you are busy with your Nanoha fics( reading this reminded me of the Nanoha fic idea I had 10% conceptualized and wanted to do, but never did) but I hope you finish this. I'd like to see more of Alter rather than the usual emotionless thing the few fics that have her usually have. I always imagined Alter's personality if she had one, to be similar to Archer's, for some reason. An Alter tempting Saber with all the things that she wants, and mocking her dreams and laughing at her failures sounds very fun indeed.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Endscape

I'm kicking myself for just now noticing this. As expected from you, RadiantBeam, a great story. I know that you are busy with your Nanoha fics( reading this reminded me of the Nanoha fic idea I had 10% conceptualized and wanted to do, but never did) but I hope you finish this. I'd like to see more of Alter rather than the usual emotionless thing the few fics that have her usually have. I always imagined Alter's personality if she had one, to be similar to Archer's, for some reason. An Alter tempting Saber with all the things that she wants, and mocking her dreams and laughing at her failures sounds very fun indeed.

If I expand and continue this, I'm going to have a lot of fun with Alter. I already know that I want her to have a very antagonizing relationship with Saber; whereas Alter enjoys tormenting Saber but knows she can do nothing until Saber succumbs to the corruption, while Saber likewise enjoys not giving in to Alter, but at the same time knows that when she denies the corruption she also denies the power that could come with that same corruption. It's a fun little tug o' war between them that I have in my head.

[Nerroth]

In other news, I got a little... carried away with a figure photoset. Ahem.

Spoiler for Drift Extra (very pic-heavy!):

This is... kind of an experiment. It originally came from an idea I had for a photoshoot, that I'd try and do once I got myself a Generations Drift.

By the time he arrived, it turned out I had other figures on hand (as in, not lost in storage somewhere) and the idea kind of went a little... further than I had mind.


So, here goes. (Please note: this is intended to be... somewhat less than serious.)


------



The white-armoured figure (his back to the floating camera nearby) took a silent breath, trying not to think of his lines as he sought a moment of inner calm. While he had spent many months since purchasing the game in question for his PSP attempting to master the dialogue, and the movement to match, he knew he still had far to go.

In any event, it was time to see whether or not he could do more then roll the lines off from a pre-prepared script in his mind. It was time to let them flow... through the moment of import itself.

In one carefully-prepared motion, he reached for the hilt of his longsword:



then swiftly turned while drawing it to one side.



Once done, he paused for (intended) dramatic effect, then lifted the longsword before him as he began his chant:



“Ware wa Kuu.” (I am the white void.)

“Ware wa Kou.” (I am the cold steel.)

“Ware wa Jin!” (I am the just sword!)

“Ware wa, hitofuri no tsurugi ni te, subete no tsumi wo karitori, aku wo metsu suru." (With blade in hand shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction.)

At this point, he changed into a more flexible stance, then held the longsword in both hands at the chant's completion.



“Waga na wa Hakumen. Oshite mairu!”

(I am Hakumen. The end has come!)

It was not until he had moved on to a later practice move (Hakumen's first-round victory pose) before an incredibly beautiful young woman with an... unusual choice in weaponry (and outfit design) approached him.



"One is quite impressed; but let us see if the wheel of Fate is turning for you!"

Focusing on the arrival as an opponent, rather than a person, the Hakumen aficionado prepared to exchange a mutually fierce array of blows:



Yet, in the midst of this action, he paused when, as if seeing through the lens of the floating camera nearby, he noticed her breathtaking face, and eyes, for the first time.



Unable to find words to express such beauty, he lowered his sword in silence.

"A shame," she said, coyly. "One would have enjoyed singing this song of battle together. Well, at least one cannot complain about your reaction; in your place, one might have done the same..."

While he struggled to conjure an answer, she pre-empted him with another teasing remark. "Perhaps you can at least pose with me before the camera?"



That, at least, he could do.

"Well then," she went on, "if you wish to please me further, present yourself in a more fashionable manner."

Without a concrete notion as to what constituted proper fashion in the mind's eye of the mysterious, yet imperious, lady, the white-armoured one did his best to comply.



Remaining off-camera for the time being, the woman referred to his yet-to-be-drawn short swords; one of which lay in the same door-scabbard in which he had conveniently stored his longsword. "Now, please demonstrate your other weapons, if you please."

Unable to bring himself to do anything but obey, he... obeyed.



"Hmm," she thought aloud. "Useful in their own way, but with far less character," or characters, even; "than the third."

Taking note of his wheel-shaped forearm-mounted buckers, she was led to wonder: "One is curious; to what end do the wheels upon thine arms serve?"

Once again, he found it better to respond through deeds, in place of words:



"A new chariot!" she exclaimed. Before he could query as to what she meant with the 'new' part, the driving force behind her voice re-ignited. "Turn! Show me more!"







After his third pose, she noted a strange item beneath him, yet somehow attached to him. "Be that the hilt of thine sword?"

Somehow managing to both turn perpendicular to the camera and to launch himself to one side, he showed how he was, indeed, able to store his longsword beneath his car mode; though what the road and safety association might think of such a setup would be another matter.



"Oh yes; much more distinct than my last chariot," she offered. "The difference is quite clear, in one's mind."

It was not until he had righted himself on all four wheels before he noted exactly why she could see it so clearly; a red-and-blue armoured vehicle was somehow parked to one side of him!



"Hey," the red vehicle offered, to which the white car remained silent.

"Not the big talker, eh? Well, it's probably just as well," the former chariot quipped. "She does like to be the one to do the talking..."

As a means of clarification, images from the red-and-blue one's time as her chariot appeared; offering a less-than-welcome (to the white car) insight.

"So," the red-and-blue one asked, as he transformed and sat (reasonably) comfortably, "maybe we could have a sit-down, get to catch up, and all that?"

Not immediately dismissing the idea (for what reason, the white car was uncertain), the woman rested herself...

...though after transformation, the white-armoured one's attempts to follow suit were less than successful.



"Not working out for you, then?" the third one noted; his outwardly well-meaning tone of voice betraying hints of his less than fair intention. "Maybe you should try a different way to rest yourself?"

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to go well either.



"Yeah, I suppose we should hold off on the sitting down thing for now," the red-and-blue one 'kindly' suggested.

After they stood up again, the newcomer gestured towards the closest door-scabbard. "Hey, could I, like have a look at those two smaller swords of yours?"



"I mean, I would ask," he added, "but I get the feeling you're the kind of guy who has a bit of... attachment to that third one."

Despite his better judgement (which told him to stick all three into the interloper until he stopped functioning) the two short swords found themselves in the blue-and-red one's hands.



"Ha, just like Archer!" the face-plated one declared; though of course the swords which the character in question is known for look quite different.

The woman, somehow now standing between the two others, raised her hand in salutation. "One is amused!"

Meanwhile, the faintest trace of a grumble passed the lips of the white samurai, who tried to concentrate by reading the kanji on his sword; a task which might one day be made easier if he were to ever benefit from the use of a Gundam Marker.

As the red-and-blue one continued his showing-off routine, however, the pressure became too much to bear.



"Wait!" she called out to the departing one. "You do not need to leave."

"The end..." he said bitterly, in an ironic echo if his hero's famous battle-cry, "...has come!"

"Yeah, you've clearly got prospects with that one," jumped the third, gleeful at his apparent victory.

Ignoring him, the woman raced to follow her new person of interest; eventually cornering him at a location which looked oddly similar to where they had just been.

Approaching him, after conveniently handing him back the swords she had evidently retrieved from the face-plated one off-camera, she reached over to cradle the side of his face with her outstretched hand:



"That last occurrence was... not planned for," she admitted; the first time her voice had shown any sign of apology, or humility perhaps. "As thee can see, one cannot always account equitably concerning one's past."

As he looked up to meet her gaze, her voice took a more assuring turn. "Yet, one would hope thine efforts would not be in vain; lest one lose an avenue towards a more promising future."

Buoyed by her words, the white one simply said: "Hai."


Soon after, the white samurai amply demonstrated the folly of taking a gun to a sword fight, especially one which is all too easily non-secured from its folded-in storage mode:




Before he and she rode off into the sunset; her choice of attire having the convenient side-effect of not blocking his line of sight while driving.



"Onwards!" she called out; glad that at least, she had a transforming, (occasionally) talking chariot who, unlike previous suitors...

...actually had swords.




END.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Nerroth

In other news, I got a little... carried away with a figure photoset. Ahem.

Spoiler for Drift Extra (very pic-heavy!):

This is... kind of an experiment. It originally came from an idea I had for a photoshoot, that I'd try and do once I got myself a Generations Drift.

By the time he arrived, it turned out I had other figures on hand (as in, not lost in storage somewhere) and the idea kind of went a little... further than I had mind.


So, here goes. (Please note: this is intended to be... somewhat less than serious.)


------



The white-armoured figure (his back to the floating camera nearby) took a silent breath, trying not to think of his lines as he sought a moment of inner calm. While he had spent many months since purchasing the game in question for his PSP attempting to master the dialogue, and the movement to match, he knew he still had far to go.

In any event, it was time to see whether or not he could do more then roll the lines off from a pre-prepared script in his mind. It was time to let them flow... through the moment of import itself.

In one carefully-prepared motion, he reached for the hilt of his longsword:



then swiftly turned while drawing it to one side.



Once done, he paused for (intended) dramatic effect, then lifted the longsword before him as he began his chant:



“Ware wa Kuu.” (I am the white void.)

“Ware wa Kou.” (I am the cold steel.)

“Ware wa Jin!” (I am the just sword!)

“Ware wa, hitofuri no tsurugi ni te, subete no tsumi wo karitori, aku wo metsu suru." (With blade in hand shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction.)

At this point, he changed into a more flexible stance, then held the longsword in both hands at the chant's completion.



“Waga na wa Hakumen. Oshite mairu!”

(I am Hakumen. The end has come!)

It was not until he had moved on to a later practice move (Hakumen's first-round victory pose) before an incredibly beautiful young woman with an... unusual choice in weaponry (and outfit design) approached him.



"One is quite impressed; but let us see if the wheel of Fate is turning for you!"

Focusing on the arrival as an opponent, rather than a person, the Hakumen aficionado prepared to exchange a mutually fierce array of blows:



Yet, in the midst of this action, he paused when, as if seeing through the lens of the floating camera nearby, he noticed her breathtaking face, and eyes, for the first time.



Unable to find words to express such beauty, he lowered his sword in silence.

"A shame," she said, coyly. "One would have enjoyed singing this song of battle together. Well, at least one cannot complain about your reaction; in your place, one might have done the same..."

While he struggled to conjure an answer, she pre-empted him with another teasing remark. "Perhaps you can at least pose with me before the camera?"



That, at least, he could do.

"Well then," she went on, "if you wish to please me further, present yourself in a more fashionable manner."

Without a concrete notion as to what constituted proper fashion in the mind's eye of the mysterious, yet imperious, lady, the white-armoured one did his best to comply.



Remaining off-camera for the time being, the woman referred to his yet-to-be-drawn short swords; one of which lay in the same door-scabbard in which he had conveniently stored his longsword. "Now, please demonstrate your other weapons, if you please."

Unable to bring himself to do anything but obey, he... obeyed.



"Hmm," she thought aloud. "Useful in their own way, but with far less character," or characters, even; "than the third."

Taking note of his wheel-shaped forearm-mounted buckers, she was led to wonder: "One is curious; to what end do the wheels upon thine arms serve?"

Once again, he found it better to respond through deeds, in place of words:



"A new chariot!" she exclaimed. Before he could query as to what she meant with the 'new' part, the driving force behind her voice re-ignited. "Turn! Show me more!"







After his third pose, she noted a strange item beneath him, yet somehow attached to him. "Be that the hilt of thine sword?"

Somehow managing to both turn perpendicular to the camera and to launch himself to one side, he showed how he was, indeed, able to store his longsword beneath his car mode; though what the road and safety association might think of such a setup would be another matter.



"Oh yes; much more distinct than my last chariot," she offered. "The difference is quite clear, in one's mind."

It was not until he had righted himself on all four wheels before he noted exactly why she could see it so clearly; a red-and-blue armoured vehicle was somehow parked to one side of him!



"Hey," the red vehicle offered, to which the white car remained silent.

"Not the big talker, eh? Well, it's probably just as well," the former chariot quipped. "She does like to be the one to do the talking..."

As a means of clarification, images from the red-and-blue one's time as her chariot appeared; offering a less-than-welcome (to the white car) insight.

"So," the red-and-blue one asked, as he transformed and sat (reasonably) comfortably, "maybe we could have a sit-down, get to catch up, and all that?"

Not immediately dismissing the idea (for what reason, the white car was uncertain), the woman rested herself...

...though after transformation, the white-armoured one's attempts to follow suit were less than successful.



"Not working out for you, then?" the third one noted; his outwardly well-meaning tone of voice betraying hints of his less than fair intention. "Maybe you should try a different way to rest yourself?"

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to go well either.



"Yeah, I suppose we should hold off on the sitting down thing for now," the red-and-blue one 'kindly' suggested.

After they stood up again, the newcomer gestured towards the closest door-scabbard. "Hey, could I, like have a look at those two smaller swords of yours?"



"I mean, I would ask," he added, "but I get the feeling you're the kind of guy who has a bit of... attachment to that third one."

Despite his better judgement (which told him to stick all three into the interloper until he stopped functioning) the two short swords found themselves in the blue-and-red one's hands.



"Ha, just like Archer!" the face-plated one declared; though of course the swords which the character in question is known for look quite different.

The woman, somehow now standing between the two others, raised her hand in salutation. "One is amused!"

Meanwhile, the faintest trace of a grumble passed the lips of the white samurai, who tried to concentrate by reading the kanji on his sword; a task which might one day be made easier if he were to ever benefit from the use of a Gundam Marker.

As the red-and-blue one continued his showing-off routine, however, the pressure became too much to bear.



"Wait!" she called out to the departing one. "You do not need to leave."

"The end..." he said bitterly, in an ironic echo if his hero's famous battle-cry, "...has come!"

"Yeah, you've clearly got prospects with that one," jumped the third, gleeful at his apparent victory.

Ignoring him, the woman raced to follow her new person of interest; eventually cornering him at a location which looked oddly similar to where they had just been.

Approaching him, after conveniently handing him back the swords she had evidently retrieved from the face-plated one off-camera, she reached over to cradle the side of his face with her outstretched hand:



"That last occurrence was... not planned for," she admitted; the first time her voice had shown any sign of apology, or humility perhaps. "As thee can see, one cannot always account equitably concerning one's past."

As he looked up to meet her gaze, her voice took a more assuring turn. "Yet, one would hope thine efforts would not be in vain; lest one lose an avenue towards a more promising future."

Buoyed by her words, the white one simply said: "Hai."


Soon after, the white samurai amply demonstrated the folly of taking a gun to a sword fight, especially one which is all too easily non-secured from its folded-in storage mode:




Before he and she rode off into the sunset; her choice of attire having the convenient side-effect of not blocking his line of sight while driving.



"Onwards!" she called out; glad that at least, she had a transforming, (occasionally) talking chariot who, unlike previous suitors...

...actually had swords.




END.

... Could this be considered a love story? It comes across as a love story as Saber dutifully searchers for her perfect chariot.

And I must say, the pictures really helped a lot. It took me a few minutes to get used to them, but once I did, they really complimented the writing well.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Nerroth

I*snip*

Snerk!

I approve! Lo, and behold, Saber Extra's hunt for a properly sword-wielding robot chariot... so silly, and yet the way it was displayed and the tone of the narrative made it seem somehow serious despite this. Very nice.

[Arbitres]

Originally Posted by Nerroth

In other news, I got a little... carried away with a figure photoset. Ahem.

Spoiler for Drift Extra (very pic-heavy!):

This is... kind of an experiment. It originally came from an idea I had for a photoshoot, that I'd try and do once I got myself a Generations Drift.

By the time he arrived, it turned out I had other figures on hand (as in, not lost in storage somewhere) and the idea kind of went a little... further than I had mind.


So, here goes. (Please note: this is intended to be... somewhat less than serious.)


------



The white-armoured figure (his back to the floating camera nearby) took a silent breath, trying not to think of his lines as he sought a moment of inner calm. While he had spent many months since purchasing the game in question for his PSP attempting to master the dialogue, and the movement to match, he knew he still had far to go.

In any event, it was time to see whether or not he could do more then roll the lines off from a pre-prepared script in his mind. It was time to let them flow... through the moment of import itself.

In one carefully-prepared motion, he reached for the hilt of his longsword:



then swiftly turned while drawing it to one side.



Once done, he paused for (intended) dramatic effect, then lifted the longsword before him as he began his chant:



“Ware wa Kuu.” (I am the white void.)

“Ware wa Kou.” (I am the cold steel.)

“Ware wa Jin!” (I am the just sword!)

“Ware wa, hitofuri no tsurugi ni te, subete no tsumi wo karitori, aku wo metsu suru." (With blade in hand shall I reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction.)

At this point, he changed into a more flexible stance, then held the longsword in both hands at the chant's completion.



“Waga na wa Hakumen. Oshite mairu!”

(I am Hakumen. The end has come!)

It was not until he had moved on to a later practice move (Hakumen's first-round victory pose) before an incredibly beautiful young woman with an... unusual choice in weaponry (and outfit design) approached him.



"One is quite impressed; but let us see if the wheel of Fate is turning for you!"

Focusing on the arrival as an opponent, rather than a person, the Hakumen aficionado prepared to exchange a mutually fierce array of blows:



Yet, in the midst of this action, he paused when, as if seeing through the lens of the floating camera nearby, he noticed her breathtaking face, and eyes, for the first time.



Unable to find words to express such beauty, he lowered his sword in silence.

"A shame," she said, coyly. "One would have enjoyed singing this song of battle together. Well, at least one cannot complain about your reaction; in your place, one might have done the same..."

While he struggled to conjure an answer, she pre-empted him with another teasing remark. "Perhaps you can at least pose with me before the camera?"



That, at least, he could do.

"Well then," she went on, "if you wish to please me further, present yourself in a more fashionable manner."

Without a concrete notion as to what constituted proper fashion in the mind's eye of the mysterious, yet imperious, lady, the white-armoured one did his best to comply.



Remaining off-camera for the time being, the woman referred to his yet-to-be-drawn short swords; one of which lay in the same door-scabbard in which he had conveniently stored his longsword. "Now, please demonstrate your other weapons, if you please."

Unable to bring himself to do anything but obey, he... obeyed.



"Hmm," she thought aloud. "Useful in their own way, but with far less character," or characters, even; "than the third."

Taking note of his wheel-shaped forearm-mounted buckers, she was led to wonder: "One is curious; to what end do the wheels upon thine arms serve?"

Once again, he found it better to respond through deeds, in place of words:



"A new chariot!" she exclaimed. Before he could query as to what she meant with the 'new' part, the driving force behind her voice re-ignited. "Turn! Show me more!"







After his third pose, she noted a strange item beneath him, yet somehow attached to him. "Be that the hilt of thine sword?"

Somehow managing to both turn perpendicular to the camera and to launch himself to one side, he showed how he was, indeed, able to store his longsword beneath his car mode; though what the road and safety association might think of such a setup would be another matter.



"Oh yes; much more distinct than my last chariot," she offered. "The difference is quite clear, in one's mind."

It was not until he had righted himself on all four wheels before he noted exactly why she could see it so clearly; a red-and-blue armoured vehicle was somehow parked to one side of him!



"Hey," the red vehicle offered, to which the white car remained silent.

"Not the big talker, eh? Well, it's probably just as well," the former chariot quipped. "She does like to be the one to do the talking..."

As a means of clarification, images from the red-and-blue one's time as her chariot appeared; offering a less-than-welcome (to the white car) insight.

"So," the red-and-blue one asked, as he transformed and sat (reasonably) comfortably, "maybe we could have a sit-down, get to catch up, and all that?"

Not immediately dismissing the idea (for what reason, the white car was uncertain), the woman rested herself...

...though after transformation, the white-armoured one's attempts to follow suit were less than successful.



"Not working out for you, then?" the third one noted; his outwardly well-meaning tone of voice betraying hints of his less than fair intention. "Maybe you should try a different way to rest yourself?"

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to go well either.



"Yeah, I suppose we should hold off on the sitting down thing for now," the red-and-blue one 'kindly' suggested.

After they stood up again, the newcomer gestured towards the closest door-scabbard. "Hey, could I, like have a look at those two smaller swords of yours?"



"I mean, I would ask," he added, "but I get the feeling you're the kind of guy who has a bit of... attachment to that third one."

Despite his better judgement (which told him to stick all three into the interloper until he stopped functioning) the two short swords found themselves in the blue-and-red one's hands.



"Ha, just like Archer!" the face-plated one declared; though of course the swords which the character in question is known for look quite different.

The woman, somehow now standing between the two others, raised her hand in salutation. "One is amused!"

Meanwhile, the faintest trace of a grumble passed the lips of the white samurai, who tried to concentrate by reading the kanji on his sword; a task which might one day be made easier if he were to ever benefit from the use of a Gundam Marker.

As the red-and-blue one continued his showing-off routine, however, the pressure became too much to bear.



"Wait!" she called out to the departing one. "You do not need to leave."

"The end..." he said bitterly, in an ironic echo if his hero's famous battle-cry, "...has come!"

"Yeah, you've clearly got prospects with that one," jumped the third, gleeful at his apparent victory.

Ignoring him, the woman raced to follow her new person of interest; eventually cornering him at a location which looked oddly similar to where they had just been.

Approaching him, after conveniently handing him back the swords she had evidently retrieved from the face-plated one off-camera, she reached over to cradle the side of his face with her outstretched hand:



"That last occurrence was... not planned for," she admitted; the first time her voice had shown any sign of apology, or humility perhaps. "As thee can see, one cannot always account equitably concerning one's past."

As he looked up to meet her gaze, her voice took a more assuring turn. "Yet, one would hope thine efforts would not be in vain; lest one lose an avenue towards a more promising future."

Buoyed by her words, the white one simply said: "Hai."


Soon after, the white samurai amply demonstrated the folly of taking a gun to a sword fight, especially one which is all too easily non-secured from its folded-in storage mode:




Before he and she rode off into the sunset; her choice of attire having the convenient side-effect of not blocking his line of sight while driving.



"Onwards!" she called out; glad that at least, she had a transforming, (occasionally) talking chariot who, unlike previous suitors...

...actually had swords.




END.

Spoiler for Response:

The hero always arrives fashionably late! Beyond that, Hakumen is the Blazblue equivalent of Archer, methinks.

Anyways the adding of story with picture was really clever. Although it took out the reading, it definitely added flavor to seeing a more clear meaning of what was detailed.

... Could this be considered a love story? It comes across as a love story as Saber dutifully searchers for her perfect chariot.

.... I can't stop laughing at this, it's not I'mt rying to antagonize/patronize, but I find the "A love story as Saber dutifully searches for her perfect chariot."...

...Is there a part two, Nerroth?