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Old 2011-04-23, 02:52   Link #741
Snowman24
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Here's a preview for the Coleen fanfic you suggested, Runty. It was a cool idea, so while I'm fighting writers block with the Magari one, I'll post a preview here for my newest work.

Spoiler for Coleen one-hit:


That's all I have for now, not much, but it's a start.
Any good? Suggestions?

-I'm not sure whether to make Coleen mad at Morris for not standing up for himself, later on?
-Or if Morris might realize that he probably isn't right for her and wants to call things off.

Something that'll set a good sense of drama right before they get separated and 'stuck' with eachother, I'm not sure who I should make mad at who or how.

Making Coleens parents rich and arrogant seemed like the only right move to make.
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Old 2011-04-23, 11:19   Link #742
Runty
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Nice intro sequence. And good choice with the "Rain of Torment" Rebel squad. You really made Coleen's parents jerks, and I think it's pretty humorous.

Spoiler for Suggestions:
I hope to see more soon.
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Old 2011-04-26, 12:28   Link #743
Runty
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Say, Snowman, to tide us by, think you could give a preview of how you revised the classroom scene for your Magari fic? I felt that how you ended it when Avan brought Jarde into the classroom was a little... abrupt.
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Old 2011-04-27, 03:45   Link #744
Snowman24
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As Joachim would say, "Yeah, ok, sure!"
BTW How do you say his name? I've been calling him "Joe-Ah-Chim"

Spoiler for Magari re-done preview 2:


That's about as far as I've gotten with the Magari fanfic so far. It's still got a little ways to go.

Any good, any suggestions or anything else??
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Old 2011-04-27, 12:02   Link #745
Runty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
As Joachim would say, "Yeah, ok, sure!"
BTW How do you say his name? I've been calling him "Joe-Ah-Chim"

Spoiler for Magari re-done preview 2:


That's about as far as I've gotten with the Magari fanfic so far. It's still got a little ways to go.

Any good, any suggestions or anything else??
Spoiler for Review:
I hope you'll be able to finish it soon.

I've also got a very rough idea on a possible Anisette fanfic. This would be a sort of parody of Enter the Edy Detachment.
Spoiler for Anisette:
Feel free to add comedy as needed.
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Old 2011-04-28, 01:34   Link #746
MrTerrorist
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Runty View Post
Spoiler for Review:
I hope you'll be able to finish it soon.

I've also got a very rough idea on a possible Anisette fanfic. This would be a sort of parody of Enter the Edy Detachment.
Spoiler for Anisette:
Feel free to add comedy as needed.
How about Edy singing a get well song much to the horror of the injured "Anisette Detachment".
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Last edited by MrTerrorist; 2011-04-28 at 04:56. Reason: forgot to add about
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Old 2011-04-28, 03:53   Link #747
Runty
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Originally Posted by MrTerrorist View Post
How Edy singing a get well song much to the horror of the injured "Anisette Detachment".
That'd be a pretty freaking hilarious ending.
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Old 2011-05-02, 03:31   Link #748
Snowman24
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Here's the last preview, Runty. Before the entire thing is finished

Spoiler for Final Magari fanfic preview:


How was that? Good enough 'Interrogation'? and, any suggestions or such?

I'll try to get the rest done, it never seems like much in my head. But when I start writing I just keep adding stuff and before I know it, a couple thousand words have been written. It's already over TEN thousand words and still has some ways to go. Wouldn't be surprised if it went over Fifteen thousand or more. It's the longest one shot so far.

But, because it's about Magari <3 <3 <3 <3 She's definately worth it

Last edited by Snowman24; 2011-05-02 at 03:46.
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Old 2011-05-02, 04:28   Link #749
MrTerrorist
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Here's the last preview, Runty. Before the entire thing is finished

Spoiler for Final Magari fanfic preview:


How was that? Good enough 'Interrogation'? and, any suggestions or such?

I'll try to get the rest done, it never seems like much in my head. But when I start writing I just keep adding stuff and before I know it, a couple thousand words have been written. It's already over TEN thousand words and still has some ways to go. Wouldn't be surprised if it went over Fifteen thousand or more. It's the longest one shot so far.

But, because it's about Magari <3 <3 <3 <3 She's definately worth it
Here's one: there never was a Mikhail. Welkin and Alicia meet an injured soldier named Fritz, a loyal Imperial soldier who only wanted to survive the war and see his mother again.

PS: Yes, i know Mikhail was from the anime but i refuse to accept it as canon since it ruined one of the best scenes in the game which shows that both Gallians and Imperials were the same: fighting for their homelands and family.
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Old 2011-05-02, 06:11   Link #750
yezhanquan
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Actually, that scene with Fritz merely established that the Imperials were also human. If you remembered, there was a soldier who mentioned that the rest of the squad teased Fritz for being so attached to his mother.

As far as I can see, most of the Imperials saw the Gallian campaign as a fight for glory and honour. Back in Bruhl, excluding Isara, the soldiers insulted Martha as a "fat pig". So, the situation is not the same as the Gallians. Many saw the campaign as a chance to rise through the ranks. It's a war for profit that Max is selling (and to conceal his true intentions that it was a war to secure the pieces he need for a rebellion ala Lelouch). It was going to be easy, and the fellows can return home full of rewards and spoils of war.
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Old 2011-05-02, 12:50   Link #751
Runty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowman24 View Post
Here's the last preview, Runty. Before the entire thing is finished

Spoiler for Final Magari fanfic preview:


How was that? Good enough 'Interrogation'? and, any suggestions or such?

I'll try to get the rest done, it never seems like much in my head. But when I start writing I just keep adding stuff and before I know it, a couple thousand words have been written. It's already over TEN thousand words and still has some ways to go. Wouldn't be surprised if it went over Fifteen thousand or more. It's the longest one shot so far.

But, because it's about Magari <3 <3 <3 <3 She's definately worth it
Spoiler for Opinion:
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Old 2011-05-02, 14:55   Link #752
Snowman24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrTerrorist View Post
Yes, i know Mikhail was from the anime but i refuse to accept it as canon since it ruined one of the best scenes in the game which shows that both Gallians and Imperials were the same: fighting for their homelands and family.
IMO about 90% of the anime was a let down, but that cabin scene was one of the rare moments where it was better than the game. They did show that he also cared about his mother, when she gave him the watch and he looked down at it with such pride. He even clutched it as he was dying, as if he were clutching the hand of his mother for comfort.

It also worked better with the scene I had in my fanfiction, where Welkin meets yet another deserter, but this time gets to do things differently and gain some peace from past war experiences.

the Fritz scene wouldn't have worked as well, I weighed both options carefully and chose the anime scene over the game.

And it shows the students of Class G exactly how a war hero would handle a situation such as this instead of newer cadets. They get to see the true hero that he was always rumored to be.
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Old 2011-05-03, 03:58   Link #753
yezhanquan
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I still say that Malberry Shore was just a punch to the players and they can do nothing about it....

Disclaimer: Favourite Darscen in VC1 was Lynn.
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Last edited by yezhanquan; 2011-05-03 at 04:57.
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Old 2011-05-05, 01:45   Link #754
Runty
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*twiddles thumbs as he waits for Snowman to finish*
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Old 2011-05-05, 04:46   Link #755
Snowman24
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I'm glad you enjoyed my last 3 one hitters *The Ramona+Nils one, the Alexis one and now the Magari one* Truth be told, I was hoping to get a review from you for the silly silly Marina+Ted one I wrote. Perhaps it was too silly to comment on I guess.

Anyways, the final part is proving quite difficult to come up with, so many things could happen! I should have more time to think and write within the next few days, just been getting slammed by work, work, work.

Sometimes I just wanna take a few days off to write my other stories, but then I would be outta money pretty quick :P

Hopefully the last part will be as good as the beginning and middle have, time will tell.
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Old 2011-05-06, 02:42   Link #756
Runty
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Well, that's nice to know, Snowman. Hopefully by the end of the weekend, you'll be done?

As long as I'm here, though, I might as well post up another one-shot idea. I'd not read this one unless you've finished the game, just for safety.
Spoiler for Cosette/Avan:
Honestly, I feel this kind of story element should've happened in the game. Such a missed opportunity...
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Old 2011-05-06, 04:13   Link #757
MrTerrorist
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Runty View Post
Well, that's nice to know, Snowman. Hopefully by the end of the weekend, you'll be done?

As long as I'm here, though, I might as well post up another one-shot idea. I'd not read this one unless you've finished the game, just for safety.
Spoiler for Cosette/Avan:
Honestly, I feel this kind of story element should've happened in the game. Such a missed opportunity...
Spoiler for How this?:


You can continue from here.
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Old 2011-05-06, 04:32   Link #758
Snowman24
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^both those ideas sound good, perhaps once I'm done with the Magari one, I'll think about taking on that one.

I'm amazed at how many awesome ideas are able to come from VC2, as Chloe would say "My Brain... it's... it's exploding!" Lol, I feel the same when I think of all the possibilities for one-hits that could come from the VC2 universe.

I wonder what possibilities VC3 holds for stories?
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Old 2011-05-06, 18:29   Link #759
yezhanquan
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I actually had a fic idea: What if Juliana had been a true Valkyria? Boy, you can put major angst into the story without looking back because of the two races' great hatred for one another. Doesn't help that she stumbles upon what Faldio had two years previously.

Spoiler for some plot lines:
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Last edited by yezhanquan; 2011-05-06 at 19:07.
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Old 2011-05-06, 22:52   Link #760
MrTerrorist
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As a Zeri/Juliana fan, i say this: FUND IT!
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