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Old 2009-02-18, 12:01   Link #261
Kakashi
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: London
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
Me for example I can't be sure. But I believe in a lot, I have faith in it. But if I fail, oh well, I will not be the first, you can't always get what you want. It's easy to say, I know, but it's better to be aware that in can happen. Not only to me but to everyone.
Fail. Fail again. Fail better.


Quote:
I will repeat what I said many times (I do look like an old recording, I am sure). I mainly said that you don't need to experience everything. Firstly, you can't experimence everything in a life. Secondly, everything is not good to be experienced imo. Thirdly, every person has the right to choose. That's your main point, you said that people should make their own decisions. I, for example, have the right to choose to not want to experience some things. And i don't care if some other people enjoy something or not, I have the right to choose to not try drugs for example.
The problem arises when people use that prerogative to pick and choose as an excuse not to experience anything new at all - something which has become all too common. It's very easy to obfuscate what you feel is unnecessary to go through with what you are simply too daunted, scared or lazy to try. Experiencing hardship is at the core of character development, so it's not suprising to see those who have been most willing to befriend it, end up successful or renowned. Those who shy away are always forced to take the backseat; they will observe and listen but never get to drive.

If you say 'no' to 'some things', then you could be missing out on potentially beneficial experiences. Pushing yourself to the limit (ie. making the best out of yourself) is all about stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you have never done before. Ideally, parents should encourage that sort of mentality. Yes, it's impossible to experience everything, but if you're blessed with the opportunity to try something new every day, why not make the most of it?
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Old 2009-02-18, 12:34   Link #262
Amray
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: England
Age: 24
I love my Mother and get along with her really well, and that is definitely the best thing one can do with regards to the relationship with their own mother. Things can be a lot easier when you and your mother are there for eachother. It is especially good if she has a good sense of humour too. It makes the atmosphere of ones life a lot better.
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Old 2009-02-18, 12:50   Link #263
Gambino009
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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That's very true.. I get along so well with my mom.. though I do piss her off sometimes..

Still though it's nice to have her, my mother in my eyes is my ideal of a true mom especially with a corrupted family outside our own (meaning uncles/aunts/cousins).

though.. no matter how old I get, she keeps treating me like a kid.. where am I going.. where am I going.
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Old 2009-02-18, 15:17   Link #264
Narona
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi View Post
Fail. Fail again. Fail better.


Quote:
The problem arises when people use that prerogative to pick and choose as an excuse not to experience anything new at all - something which has become all too common. It's very easy to obfuscate what you feel is unnecessary to go through with what you are simply too daunted, scared or lazy to try. Experiencing hardship is at the core of character development, so it's not suprising to see those who have been most willing to befriend it, end up successful or renowned. Those who shy away are always forced to take the backseat; they will observe and listen but never get to drive.

If you say 'no' to 'some things', then you could be missing out on potentially beneficial experiences. Pushing yourself to the limit (ie. making the best out of yourself) is all about stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you have never done before.
Some choice I make are related to my beliefs, on that, I prefer to avoid the discussion because each person has its own beliefs, it will only end up in me defending my beliefs while I don't ask anyone to follow mines, plus, it's offtopic.

But I was not really talking about that, but in general. I don't know how it is in England or the USA, but many, many young people in France, for example, try cigarettes, at least once (and more and more, Marijuana too). I don't want to, and I don't see why I should force myself to try.

Quote:
Ideally, parents should encourage that sort of mentality. Yes, it's impossible to experience everything, but if you're blessed with the opportunity to try something new every day, why not make the most of it?
Because, for example, it depends on one's personnality? We are all different and some people don't feel the need to try everything that show up in front on them. You want them to force themselves to try everything no matter what

Last edited by Narona; 2009-02-18 at 15:27.
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Old 2010-02-20, 08:38   Link #265
SaintessHeart
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Digging this up because I seriously need advice.......NOW.

Right now my family has shaken to the point where it has gone totally out of control. My father is has been having extramarital affairs for the past 3-4 years which I have tried to ignore because I wanted to concentrate on my studies back then. Now I am back at home after serving my time, realising the total mess it has become.

My mother has gone stark nuts about this issue because it has gone too far, suffering in silence. For more details, please PM me.

Right now what I need is basically legal and issue handling advice, because if my parents divorce, I lose the roof over my head as I am already at the maximum legal age (all legal limits removed, drink, drive, hang out after 10, vote, buy/sell property, etc). And I can't find a damn job.

This is just a notice, anyone who is interested, or willing to help, please PM me or bring it to my profile page. The discussion will become incredibly messy, and it is not a place for it on a thread in the forum.
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Old 2010-02-20, 09:11   Link #266
Miko Miko
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Digging this up because I seriously need advice.......NOW.

Right now my family has shaken to the point where it has gone totally out of control. My father is has been having extramarital affairs for the past 3-4 years which I have tried to ignore because I wanted to concentrate on my studies back then. Now I am back at home after serving my time, realising the total mess it has become.

My mother has gone stark nuts about this issue because it has gone too far, suffering in silence. For more details, please PM me.

Right now what I need is basically legal and issue handling advice, because if my parents divorce, I lose the roof over my head as I am already at the maximum legal age (all legal limits removed, drink, drive, hang out after 10, vote, buy/sell property, etc). And I can't find a damn job.

This is just a notice, anyone who is interested, or willing to help, please PM me or bring it to my profile page. The discussion will become incredibly messy, and it is not a place for it on a thread in the forum.

This must be really hard for you, do you have any other family you can turn too?
Or you could even talk to a councillor?
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Old 2010-02-20, 09:22   Link #267
milan kyuubi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post
Digging this up because I seriously need advice.......NOW.

Right now my family has shaken to the point where it has gone totally out of control. My father is has been having extramarital affairs for the past 3-4 years which I have tried to ignore because I wanted to concentrate on my studies back then. Now I am back at home after serving my time, realising the total mess it has become.

My mother has gone stark nuts about this issue because it has gone too far, suffering in silence. For more details, please PM me.

Right now what I need is basically legal and issue handling advice, because if my parents divorce, I lose the roof over my head as I am already at the maximum legal age (all legal limits removed, drink, drive, hang out after 10, vote, buy/sell property, etc). And I can't find a damn job.

This is just a notice, anyone who is interested, or willing to help, please PM me or bring it to my profile page. The discussion will become incredibly messy, and it is not a place for it on a thread in the forum.
I am sorry to hear this about your family. If you have a close relatives you should ask them for help. If you don't have them then i recomended you some close friends who would listen to you and help you trough this bad experience. You could also stay with them if they agree, until you find a job.
About the job, i am recomending to try something small in begining if you can. So you'l at least have some money of your own.
Don't know what else to tell you, i never had this kind of problems.
If you need advice or anything in the future just PM me and I will try my best to help you.
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Old 2010-02-20, 09:26   Link #268
SaintessHeart
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by milan kyuubi View Post
I am sorry to hear this about your family. If you have a close relatives you should ask them for help. If you don't have them then i recomended you some close friends who would listen to you and help you trough this bad experience. You could also stay with them if they agree, until you find a job.
About the job, i am recomending to try something small in begining if you can. So you'l at least have some money of your own.
Don't know what else to tell you, i never had this kind of problems.
If you need advice or anything in the future just PM me and I will try my best to help you.
Thanks for your concern. I am sorry, but I can barely control the way I write to be as unoffensive as possible.

This is a publicised thread, so I certainly hope you guys can forward comments and advice to my public profile and away from a place where I can't vent. Thank you for your kind understanding.
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Old 2010-02-20, 11:19   Link #269
ShadowSeed
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My mother told me how to clean the house, how to pay the bills...she taught me all the practical and useful. My father...He lives 500 km north of us. I visit him now and then by train, usually in summer vacation. I go shooting with him, maybe camping, eat berries, that sort of thing. While my mother teaches me how to survive in urban enviroments, my father teaches me how to survive in the wild, without civilized people around me, without electricity, all alone. This is the reason i prefer father over mother. I never had an emotional bond with my mother. All i think about her is that she doesn't die before i can make my own money. The idea of being thrown in a foster home does not sound too interesting.

Oh, and my father as a gun. That is +5 points to him.
That being said, parents should be protected at all costs. They keep you alive, while you are all vulnerable, so the best you could do is try and keep him/her alive if they/he/she has troubles. If you don't, your life will go a fair lot harder. For a month, my mother went missing as she was kidnapped for no apparent reason. Finally, i found a clue of her, and found her locked in a room. I will not reveal further details, but now she's workign again, while going toa psychologist once every month. This shows that if you con't protect the ones that keep you alive by other means, you're as good as dead too.
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Old 2010-02-20, 13:06   Link #270
Lizzie
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I love my father but I hate my mother, and my father has serious flaws too, like never having the guts to stand up against my mother. But at least my father has the excuse of so many injuries catching up to him that he can barely move without massive pain. I can also carry on a intelligent conversation with him, we talk quite often.

Lets list off my mother's crimes: Emotional abuse and physical abuse against me, yet she'd call me a violent psychopath if I even so much raised a hand in response to her and go "You hurt me!" if I even so much as pushed her away from me while I'd end up walking out with bruises and scratches. This actually ended up once in us both fighting in a house trashing throwdown that could've been put on youtube and gain many views.

Forcing me to "steal" food from the kitchen since I was only allowed food such as ramen and such while she hoarded all the good (and by good I mean actually nutritious) stuff. While she got fat, I got sickly from lack of the food I needed to stay healthy.

Forcing me to act as the household maid since age 8, this isn't a mere case of complaining about some chores I had to do. I had to do all of them, for the whole house. And she did nothing, and this started before she had the excuse of having a paying job. This included all of the cooking as well.

Once I finally moved away and she lost her personal bitch, she started calling me up nearly daily just to harass me into coming back. I eventually threatened with a restraining order if she didn't stop. Things seem to be settling down now, but I've still yet to break to her that I'm bisexual and she's incredibly fundamentalist religious. I know that won't blow over well.
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Old 2010-02-20, 13:14   Link #271
Theowne
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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Just a random thought I had: When I was younger, I used to think people who complained about their parents were just ungrateful or immature. Now that I'm older and in university, and at an age where marriage is more than just a faint concept of the future, looking at the people around me and their maturity at this age, many of whom will actually become parents.....I think I have a little more sympathy for those complaining kids now
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Old 2010-02-20, 13:17   Link #272
Kafriel
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
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I love both my parents and know better than pissing them off doing stupid things...I grew up to be a considerate adult through their guidance, and I'm really glad I had them by my side whenever I needed them. Not that they don't have flaws, but I do my best to correct whatever I can, so that it never comes to...
Quote:
shaken to the point where it has gone totally out of control.
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Old 2010-02-20, 13:25   Link #273
chikorita157
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Age: 24
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I don't have any problems with my parents and I do get along with them. However, my father keeps nagging me about school and stuff... Well, that what parents do, they care about their children.
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Old 2010-02-20, 13:42   Link #274
hinakatbklyn
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Join Date: Nov 2009
This can get very tricky with my scenario. Having my father be the typical yeller for whatever reason did not sit well with me. And yet he put himself through financial ruin to get me through college, where I ended up finding my current job. Ended up helping later when he had to leave for good. (I only saw his bad side more than his good side). But thinking about it now, I would not be the breadwinner and it would have been far worse without him.

Spoiler for Bad side:
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Old 2010-02-20, 14:52   Link #275
Miko Miko
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: England
Age: 20
Well my family,

My Mum and Dad were together until 2007, in which they split up. They were constantly arguing, I don't know why. They said they just 'fell out of love'

When my Dad moved out I lived with my Mum until late 2009, in which she chucked me out and told me to go to my Dad's because we were arguing a lot, like constantly and I was misbehaving and screwing up in school. I disliked my Mum at this point, but we get along a little bit better now.
As for my Dad, my Dad is awesome. We always get along well, there is never much arguing and he has different views on things as my Mum which is a better thing because I agree with my Dad's 'ways' a lot more. My Mum always treats me as if I don't have feelings, okay so maybe I did fuck-up in school a lot, still do a little, maybe I used to go out and get drunk virtually every night but she shouldn't have chucked me out.. It's not as if I am the worst child anyone can have. I have a lot of issues that my Mum didn't know about at the time, which when reported made my Mum understand maybe the slightest bit why I've been so awkward and down the previous year (2008). Although I love my Mum to bits I can hate her at times, and I mean really hate her. I love my Dad to bits too, and he is much more leniant and easy to get along with.
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Old 2010-02-20, 17:32   Link #276
ShadowSeed
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Scandinavia.
Age: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzie View Post
I love my father but I hate my mother, and my father has serious flaws too, like never having the guts to stand up against my mother. But at least my father has the excuse of so many injuries catching up to him that he can barely move without massive pain. I can also carry on a intelligent conversation with him, we talk quite often.

Lets list off my mother's crimes: Emotional abuse and physical abuse against me, yet she'd call me a violent psychopath if I even so much raised a hand in response to her and go "You hurt me!" if I even so much as pushed her away from me while I'd end up walking out with bruises and scratches. This actually ended up once in us both fighting in a house trashing throwdown that could've been put on youtube and gain many views.

Forcing me to "steal" food from the kitchen since I was only allowed food such as ramen and such while she hoarded all the good (and by good I mean actually nutritious) stuff. While she got fat, I got sickly from lack of the food I needed to stay healthy.

Forcing me to act as the household maid since age 8, this isn't a mere case of complaining about some chores I had to do. I had to do all of them, for the whole house. And she did nothing, and this started before she had the excuse of having a paying job. This included all of the cooking as well.

Once I finally moved away and she lost her personal bitch, she started calling me up nearly daily just to harass me into coming back. I eventually threatened with a restraining order if she didn't stop. Things seem to be settling down now, but I've still yet to break to her that I'm bisexual and she's incredibly fundamentalist religious. I know that won't blow over well.
Ah, i've had a similar scenario. Not completely same, but it's near there.
My mother has always taken care of me. She taught me how to do things. Cook, clean and pay bills, go to store, all kinds of useful stuff. She never drinks or hurts me. She does smoke, but only for relaxing purposes. She got a man about 1.5 years ago. He seemed nice at first, doing his job, bringing money home, talking very nicely and knowing interesting things.

Then, he started to drink. More, and more and more and more to the point that he carried packs of 30 cans of beer into his room nearly every other day. He started to do chores at night, making my sleep go out of the window. He started to give warning speeches to me, that i will become a criminal and a thief. I will not receive good education if i don't hustle up now, etc. He tried to pressure me, drive me into a corner, but i ignored him which infuriated him further. One night, he attacked me while i was going to sleep. He opened the door, tooke me out of the bed with his two hands and threw me against the wall. My mother comes and drags him away from my home, slams the door shut and runs to me to see if i have any injuries. Actually, she had a black eye while i only had a small bruise as i fell on the floor with my shoulder first. I told her i was okay and all. Abotu a week later, Jay came back home. (I call him Jay, but it's not his real name.) He was apologizing about his behaviour, making excuses that he was heartbrokne by his mother's death and that he was drunk. My mother didn't accept the explanation and said firmly, that if he hurts me again she's going to throw him out. The begging stopped there. Jay went in his room, slammed the door shut and probably went to drink some more beer. This kept going for 2 months. He was drinking, mom was working and everyone were kind of barricaded inside their rooms. Then MLL (It's a government thing that protects children from harm at home.) interfered. They took me to this temporary facility, where teens/kids go to if they can't for some reason be at home. I was there for about a month. Then MLL informant told us that Jay was taken care of and the home was secure. Jay stole a lot of stuff from us, such as pots, forks and some other small things. Nothing big to make a crime report out of though. He was working for Securitas, a security company, so i think he was more than aware of what could cause a crime report to be done. Anyways, she told us (her children) that she was sorry she ever burdened us with such a pisshead.

So, i guess it really hurt her to see she did a wrong choice that made our life harder as well. Now that i think of it, i'm glad it happened. If it didn't, i wouldn't be what i am now. And right now, i don't think i could be better. The philosophers were right after all.

"If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger."
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Old 2010-02-20, 18:21   Link #277
Lizzie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowSeed View Post

Then, he started to drink. More, and more and more and more to the point that he carried packs of 30 cans of beer into his room nearly every other day. He started to do chores at night, making my sleep go out of the window. He started to give warning speeches to me, that i will become a criminal and a thief. I will not receive good education if i don't hustle up now, etc. He tried to pressure me, drive me into a corner, but i ignored him which infuriated him further. One night, he attacked me while i was going to sleep. He opened the door, tooke me out of the bed with his two hands and threw me against the wall. My mother comes and drags him away from my home, slams the door shut and runs to me to see if i have any injuries. Actually, she had a black eye while i only had a small bruise as i fell on the floor with my shoulder first. I told her i was okay and all. Abotu a week later, Jay came back home. (I call him Jay, but it's not his real name.) He was apologizing about his behaviour, making excuses that he was heartbrokne by his mother's death and that he was drunk. My mother didn't accept the explanation and said firmly, that if he hurts me again she's going to throw him out. The begging stopped there. Jay went in his room, slammed the door shut and probably went to drink some more beer. This kept going for 2 months. He was drinking, mom was working and everyone were kind of barricaded inside their rooms. Then MLL (It's a government thing that protects children from harm at home.) interfered. They took me to this temporary facility, where teens/kids go to if they can't for some reason be at home. I was there for about a month. Then MLL informant told us that Jay was taken care of and the home was secure. Jay stole a lot of stuff from us, such as pots, forks and some other small things. Nothing big to make a crime report out of though. He was working for Securitas, a security company, so i think he was more than aware of what could cause a crime report to be done. Anyways, she told us (her children) that she was sorry she ever burdened us with such a pisshead.
Somehow even with child services getting involved, my mother dodged the bullet. They had to get involved once during the adoption that landed my current brother. We had adopted two children but one was ... very much a problem child.
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Old 2011-09-13, 13:08   Link #278
Shay
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Liverpool
Age: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shay View Post
My life is crazy these days so I don't get to post here at all lately, but I still lurk from time to time.

My girlfriend is 8 months pregnant carrying my baby boy whom we're going to name, Alfie George O'Shay.

As soon as he is born I will post pics.

Anyway, just thought I should let all my old friends know my good news.

Hey, xris. Can I make him the youngest Asuki member when he is born, it could be like a legacy, proof that Asuki will live on through the generations?

Or will you just ban his ass, like father like son?

Anyway, it's awesome to see the forum thriving. Keep up the good work old-timers!
Update - I now have another child on the way. Due date is 5 March 2012. I will find out the sex on 19 October so I will let you all know then. Fingers crossed everything goes well.

*Hopes for a lil girl this time*
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Old 2011-09-13, 13:29   Link #279
TinyRedLeaf
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Join Date: Apr 2006
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Originally Posted by Shay View Post
*Hopes for a lil girl this time*
Personally, I feel that Usagi Drop needs to be made mandatory viewing for all prospective parents and veteran parents alike.

Just joking. Congratulations!
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Old 2011-09-13, 14:33   Link #280
Endless Soul
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Age: 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shay View Post

*Hopes for a lil girl this time*
Ours has ceratinly made our lives interesting. She's getting close to 5 now and she's chock full of personality.

Spoiler for Picture:
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