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Old 2010-01-29, 13:00   Link #1
Miko Miko
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Abuse/Rape/Neglect : Triggering Thread

Hey!

"All forms of abuse are serious, whether it is emotional, financial, sexual or physical. You deserve to live your life free from abuse of any kind. Abuse is not your fault!"

This is one of the most important things to me, as well as myself many of my friends have suffered different kinds of abuse. To me it is dispicable.
I want to hear everyone's opinions on the subject, I think it's really important.

If any of you need any help with this sort of thing I think this thread is a good idea.

x
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:12   Link #2
Armored Knight
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If you don't mind telling us, what kinds of abuse have you suffered, how did you deal with it and what are the best solutions in your opinion? I think since you didn't write it, you prefer not to mention it.

Anyway, I haven't really suffered any kind of abuse. Not trying to play the tough guy, but I am strong and nobody dares to even try.
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:22   Link #3
psycho_luny
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my stephdad.
since i was 5, my stephdad came into the picture. in a few months he became more aggressive and his filosofie with me was: "the older i would get the harder he would hit me."
it really makes you hard getting beat up all the time, now i only laugh to piss him of.
my solution = his death but hey my mom loves him so i keep quit, for now that is.
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:24   Link #4
Miko Miko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armored Knight View Post
If you don't mind telling us, what kinds of abuse have you suffered, how did you deal with it and what are the best solutions in your opinion? I think since you didn't write it, you prefer not to mention it.

Anyway, I haven't really suffered any kind of abuse. Not trying to play the tough guy, but I am strong and nobody dares to even try.
I was sexually abused by an older man and raped recently by someone my age.
It's hard to say but you are lucky to be stronger, I am very weak and vulnerable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by psycho_luny View Post
my stephdad.
since i was 5, my stephdad came into the picture. in a few months he became more aggressive and his filosofie with me was: "the older i would get the harder he would hit me."
it really makes you hard getting beat up all the time, now i only laugh to piss him of.
Wow.. I'm really sorry.
It must've been tough for you having to put up with that.
Did you ever tell anybody about it?


x
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:31   Link #5
hinakatbklyn
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I'm not sure if financial is serious abuse, but I could almost write a book about it. If it was current and during the recession, I would be more forgiving about it, but it started the minute I picked up my first job 10 years ago (which I still have).

Early on my other family members at least tried. Last few years, they gave up and went after what I had and what I was borrowing to keep themselves happy. All that and roughly 85% of the bills to keep everyone in the house came from me. If I couldn't keep up, I got hell for it, or got the sob story (of course I caved).

Just last year, I gave up and got my freedom, but it didn't last too long. Six months after moving out, (the ultimate sob story) a family member didn't want to be alone and tried the easy way out. By no choice of my own, I'm stuck with that person now.

The emotional abuse from it is more detailed, and that goes further back, but that part is past me now.
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:31   Link #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
I was sexually abused by an older man and raped recently by someone my age.
It's hard to say but you are lucky to be stronger, I am very weak and vulnerable.



Wow.. I'm really sorry.
It must've been tough for you having to put up with that.
Did you ever tell anybody about it?


x
i'm sorry to hear that, you okay??
and once, when i was still a naieve little boy to my real father and it ended up me getting beat the crapp out of of in the backseat of the car in a parkinglot
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:37   Link #7
Armored Knight
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Quote:
I was sexually abused by an older man and raped recently by someone my age.
That was a crime and you were a victim. Don't hesitate to contact the authorities if you haven't already did!. If they are stronger than you, there is someone stronger than them you know.

Quote:
my solution = his death but hey my mom loves him so i keep quit, for now that is.
Who hates who? Who is the one that is being an asshole?
If you, be honest with yourself, do you hate him because he is a step father or something?
If him, why does he hate you?
If your mother loves him, why can't you love him?

But, to think that now you are a man and can laugh at him. I think this is his payback for what he did to you as a kid.
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:43   Link #8
Miko Miko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hinakatbklyn View Post
Early on my other family members at least tried. Last few years, they gave up and went after what I had and what I was borrowing to keep themselves happy. All that and roughly 85% of the bills to keep everyone in the house came from me. If I couldn't keep up, I got hell for it, or got the sob story (of course I caved).

Just last year, I gave up and got my freedom, but it didn't last too long. Six months after moving out, (the ultimate sob story) a family member didn't want to be alone and tried the easy way out. By no choice of my own, I'm stuck with that person now.

The emotional abuse from it is more detailed, and that goes further back, but that part is past me now.
Wow.. That sounds really hard I am really sorry, and I am sorry to hear about your family member aswell.

Quote:
Originally Posted by psycho_luny View Post
i'm sorry to hear that, you okay??
and once, when i was still a naieve little boy to my real father and it ended up me getting beat the crapp out of of in the backseat of the car in a parkinglot
Yes I'll have to be, I am talking to someone about it weekly.
And I am sorry to hear about your father.. I hope you feel better about yourself. I know it's hard being hurt by people older and stronger than you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Armored Knight View Post
That was a crime and you were a victim. Don't hesitate to contact the authorities if you haven't already did!. If they are stronger than you, there is someone stronger than them you know.

I actually told my school about the man and things were being sorted but I got scared and decided to drop charges, which was a huge mistake imo.
But the recent one. I just want to get over it a little first.
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:45   Link #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armored Knight View Post

Who hates who? Who is the one that is being an asshole?
If you, be honest with yourself, do you hate him because he is a step father or something?
If him, why does he hate you?
If your mother loves him, why can't you love him?

But, to think that now you are a man and can laugh at him. I think this is his payback for what he did to you as a kid.
i hate him for all those year of physical abuse, i hate him for the fact she would just stand there and watch him punch and kick me while i'm on the ground.
he hates me for who i was in the past, he hated what i was and how i was.
no matter how much she loves him i will never feel any good feeling towards him.
no, the payback is me at his dying bed laughing at him and delivering the final blow. that's my payback.
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:52   Link #10
Armored Knight
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Quote:
But the recent one. I just want to get over it a little first.
I don't know how long and what you are waiting for. But don't feel sorry for him. He hurt you and he will get what he deserves.

Quote:
Yes I'll have to be, I am talking to someone about it weekly.
I know that this "someone" may be close to you and you trust this person, but it is not enough. I hope you contact the authorities as soon as possible. I hope the jerk gets what he deserves.

Quote:
no, the payback is me at his dying bed laughing at him and delivering the final blow. that's my payback.
I have never hated anyone that much, but I know how you feel. At least, you are stronger now and he can't do what used to do to you as a kid.
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Old 2010-01-29, 13:53   Link #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post

Yes I'll have to be, I am talking to someone about it weekly.
And I am sorry to hear about your father.. I hope you feel better about yourself. I know it's hard being hurt by people older and stronger than you.



i don't give a damm about it anymore. its an chapter in my book that i tear away page by page.
he's not stronger then me, not anymore.
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Old 2010-01-29, 14:01   Link #12
Miko Miko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armored Knight View Post
I don't know how long and what you are waiting for. But don't feel sorry for him. He hurt you and he will get what he deserves.


I know that this "someone" may be close to you and you trust this person, but it is not enough. I hope you contact the authorities as soon as possible. I hope the jerk gets what he deserves.
I don't feel sorry. I am just not ready to go through all the shit of interviews and my parents knowing all over again.
The woman i'm talking to is a councillor.. I don't really know her, but school set me up and she always helps me and she will contact the authorities when I decide to tell her about the rape.


Quote:
Originally Posted by psycho_luny View Post
i don't give a damm about it anymore. its an chapter in my book that i tear away page by page.
he's not stronger then me, not anymore.
I'm glad you've been able to see past it.
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Old 2010-01-29, 14:06   Link #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post



I'm glad you've been able to see past it.
i had to, it nearly cost my life.
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Old 2010-01-29, 14:39   Link #14
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If you let someone do anything heshe wants without the fear of punishment, he/she will abuse his/her position. It is true in every aspect of life, from politicians, to married people, to even wild animals. Fear of punishment prevents abuse. Later on, proper dictating (philosophy, religion, etc) can replace fear with respect.
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Old 2010-01-29, 14:52   Link #15
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Well I have been bullied in school to the extent that the whole class is turned against me, PLUS I get people waiting for me outside the school gate on a regular basis to settle scores like "interrupting the teacher in the class", "being rude to the class bully", etc. The teachers never helped out, so it kinda sucked and made my balls shrink overtime.

As a result, I have a serious problem with authority to the extent that I always argue with them or attempt to solve it in a Stalinistic way (No man, no problem). This is called Post Embitterment Stress Disorder.

Kids run shootouts in their schools for a reason. Usually it is that people around them don't care until they have that gun pointed in their face. But apparently, the killers are the ones being scrutinised rather than their "victims".
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Old 2010-01-29, 14:56   Link #16
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Physically, I've never been abused. My parents are loving, if overprotective, and have never laid a hand on me. I didn't make it a habit of getting into fights with other kids.

Emotionally, well, I guess that's up to your definition of abuse. As a kid in elementary school I was constantly picked on and bullied; mostly because at the time I was out of shape, shy, and very frightened by my peers. Teachers never did much of anything, and I didn't shake them off until my high school years.

Joined my first online forum when I was roughly thirteen, became a mod by the time I was fourteen, and was friends with an older boy who not only considered himself better for the position, but was bipolar and bisexual. His favorite pastimes consisted of telling me, in detail, how he felt he was better for the job and how I wasn't fit for it, and he consistently threatened to kill himself on a regular basis, which I then had to talk him out of. Since none of the other mods ever wanted to bother with him, I dealt with him by myself because I kept telling myself he was my friend, and he would do the same for me.

During my junior and senior years of high school, I found myself as main support for my first love, who was in a bad situation with a girl he didn't like. He regularly vented to me about her and never listened to what I said, and the girl herself was clingy to both of us and pretty much jumped me everywhere I went because she "liked me so much".

Hopefully my college years will be better.
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Old 2010-01-29, 14:57   Link #17
hinakatbklyn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintessHeart View Post

Kids run shootouts in their schools for a reason. Usually it is that people around them don't care until they have that gun pointed in their face. But apparently, the killers are the ones being scrutinised rather than their "victims".
To tone it down even further, (I've seen it so I would know) the one who retaliates is labeled the villian more and the instigator gets away with it.
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Old 2010-01-29, 15:58   Link #18
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I can't say that I've ever been abused apart from bullying when I was in elementary. At the time, I thought I had it bad, but as I grew up, I came to realize that others had it much worse than me, and I learned to ignore other people's words and lived like I wanted to, regardless of what people around me would say. Other people even became more appreciative as I became more involved with them despite their unfounded dislike towards me.

My thoughts on abuse, generally speaking, is that it is morally unfair as the people who are abusive most often don't realize what kind of pain they're placing on the victim. The only way to make them realize the suffering they're inflicting on other people is by giving them the same kind of treatment. That's what makes me really mad when it comes to justice systems, especially in Europe. In Italy, it's very easy for rapists to get away with a slap in the wrist and a few years in prison, fewer still than the original sentence. Additionally, prison life in Italy, France and other countries isn't bad at all. You get free food and accomodation with a TV, albeit very basic. It's not like you can have a really hard time. A harsher punishment ought to be imposed because they'll never learn just how vile their actions are if they're treated so well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
I was sexually abused by an older man and raped recently by someone my age.
It's hard to say but you are lucky to be stronger, I am very weak and vulnerable
I'm really sorry to hear that, it must have been terrible. I'm glad you're seeing someone though, I hope you'll be able to gather the strength to speak out eventually. I can't say I've had experiences like that, but I find that speaking about it to other people can be quite the relief. When you're ready though.
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Old 2010-01-29, 15:58   Link #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miko Miko View Post
I don't feel sorry. I am just not ready to go through all the shit of interviews and my parents knowing all over again.
The woman i'm talking to is a councillor.. I don't really know her, but school set me up and she always helps me and she will contact the authorities when I decide to tell her about the rape.
I understand your reluctance, but I think you should have reported it as soon as it happened. The charge will be a 'he said-she said' case now, and it'll be much harder to get a conviction, unless he admits it or he's had previous charges.

Granted, this is from the American justice system. I know nothing of your system.
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Old 2010-01-29, 16:01   Link #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilla View Post
I understand your reluctance, but I think you should have reported it as soon as it happened. The charge will be a 'he-she said' case now, and it'll be much harder to get a conviction.

Granted, this is from the American justice system. I know nothing of your system.
If I may add to that, I think it's better to report sooner because there's always the chance you'll see him again, which puts you in more danger.
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