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Old 2009-11-14, 14:39   Link #41
Walkingcatastrophy
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That's a good question Outf0x. Which brings up the whole matter that people experience things at different ages than others. Different cultures, different surroundings, different everything. I know I first started cultivating a real relationship around 16, but one of my really good friends hadn't had his first till about 21. That's why I've never been one to judge on relationships. I feel they can be as 'real' and as 'important' to someone 14 or 24.
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Old 2009-11-14, 20:21   Link #42
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HayashiTakara View Post
A poll is kinda pointless, its about talking about first loves, if you haven't had a first love yet then whats the point in talking then? Its not the thread for you. Its not like you have to post in every thread. It's having a white guy post in a thread labeled "Asian Community"
.... I don't see the analogy between what's being said here and your example, but moving on.

What you've just said right now could easily be a slap in the face to anyone who had a serious first crush or a bad case of puppy love. Some people maye not have fallen in love yet, but they've still had first crushes, and those crushes can be incredibly real and intense for that person; maybe not as intense as the feeling of love, but it's still something they've never experienced it before, and it deserves credit. The whole point of a serious first crush is to get the feelings out of your system, look back, and realize that those aren't the kind of feelings that make love last.

How can you say it's pointless? For some people, a first crush is just as serious as first love. You can't dismiss it just because it doesn't match your defintition of what love is and what a crush is.
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Old 2009-11-14, 20:52   Link #43
HayashiTakara
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
.... I don't see the analogy between what's being said here and your example, but moving on.

What you've just said right now could easily be a slap in the face to anyone who had a serious first crush or a bad case of puppy love. Some people maye not have fallen in love yet, but they've still had first crushes, and those crushes can be incredibly real and intense for that person; maybe not as intense as the feeling of love, but it's still something they've never experienced it before, and it deserves credit. The whole point of a serious first crush is to get the feelings out of your system, look back, and realize that those aren't the kind of feelings that make love last.

How can you say it's pointless? For some people, a first crush is just as serious as first love. You can't dismiss it just because it doesn't match your defintition of what love is and what a crush is.
This is a thread about love not a crush. Why is that such a difficult thing to accept? If your crush is has such a massive impact on you, wouldn't that be considered love? Love doesn't have to be mutual, most first loves are one sided.

If I was interested in hearing about first crushes, I would've been specific about it. Arguing over it is completely pointless.
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Old 2009-11-14, 20:57   Link #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HayashiTakara View Post
This is a thread about love not a crush. Why is that such a difficult thing to accept? If your crush is has such a massive impact on you, wouldn't that be considered love? Love doesn't have to be mutual, most first loves are one sided.

If I was interested in hearing about first crushes, I would've been specific about it. Arguing over it is completely pointless.
A crush has a major impact on you in a totally different level from love. A genuine first crush comes from knowing someone and being attracted to them despite their flaws; maybe it doesn't become much more beyond that, but a crush clears the pathway for love. Heck, without crushing on someone, it would be rather hard to fall in love, I think.

What's the difference between a crush and love, then? Both can be extremely intense and can mean a lot to the person who feels them. Heck, plenty of people here are discussing first crushes because they haven't felt first love yet, and those crushes meant a lot to them. It isn't wrong for that to be posted here. For some people, a first crush is just as intense as first love without ever crossing that line to becoming love.
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Old 2009-11-14, 23:05   Link #45
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Aha, I went pretty emo when my first love moved to Philadelphia before I got the courage to confess to her. She had a face that made me feel soft and blissful, her body wasn't bad and her personality was so tsundere. I met her in elementary ended up in the same junior high together in the chess magnet class. We were just acquaintances and I wanted to befriend her, I didn't know that feeling was love until I heard she left and it felt empty. It's been 6 years and still hoping for a chance to see her again, I would have dreams when I'm not thinking about her and oddly enough, it takes place in train station and we would talk like old close friends.


Another thought came to me, if she visits this site, I will die of embarrassment. So fair warning to the rest of you lot, in case someone might come in your room and read your post too.
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Old 2009-11-15, 03:29   Link #46
Narona
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*Twists the knife*

Quote:
Originally Posted by HayashiTakara View Post
Well first love is more appropriate considering that a first crush can be as early as kindergarten age. Its pretty insignicificant.
I wonder. If a person is able to remember it clearly as good/bad memories with details and all, then it left a mark in his/her life, so I don't know if it can be categorized as insignificant. To not remember what you ate on september 16th in 2008 is because it was insignificant.

You may want to talk only about the first love relationship as we see it between adults. Fine by me, but that doesn't make crushes necessarily insignificant, even those as a kid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystique View Post
Did that 'do you feel old' thread do something to you? xD
By the way, shouldn't it be
'first love (if you've experienced it), do you remember it?
or just "First loves" (which I sense 'computers' or some kinda gadget being the general answer here)

*places a fiver down*
Safe bet that many peeps here haven't had that experience yet.

Maybe first 'crush' would be more appropriate? And then again, "first loves, love hardest".
They often tend to be the most bittersweet, sadly too...
The thread by its contents and mood also seems to imply that it's only about relationships "from the past". That could confuse those who are living their first love relationship.

Hayashi-kun, you should have put explanations in your first post. That would have avoided many posts

Spoiler for .:

Last edited by Narona; 2009-11-15 at 03:47.
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Old 2009-11-15, 10:28   Link #47
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Sure, I remember it. I've probably unconsciously based on ideal girl on the way she was when I knew her. God knows where she is now, most likely somewhere in the US. I doubt I'll ever get the chance to see her again. I have no doubts we could've gone on together much longer if we hadn't known each other in Saudi Arabia and some guy driving a truck had the smart idea to ram it into a compound in Riyadh, forcing us people in Jeddah to gtfo the kingdom. T_T
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Old 2009-11-15, 17:05   Link #48
HayashiTakara
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narona View Post
*Twists the knife*


I wonder. If a person is able to remember it clearly as good/bad memories with details and all, then it left a mark in his/her life, so I don't know if it can be categorized as insignificant. To not remember what you ate on september 16th in 2008 is because it was insignificant.

You may want to talk only about the first love relationship as we see it between adults. Fine by me, but that doesn't make crushes necessarily insignificant, even those as a kid.


The thread by its contents and mood also seems to imply that it's only about relationships "from the past". That could confuse those who are living their first love relationship.

Hayashi-kun, you should have put explanations in your first post. That would have avoided many posts

Spoiler for .:
*kicks*

I'll just leave it at that...
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Old 2009-11-15, 22:53   Link #49
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I certainly remember the one whom I thought I could spend the rest of my life with...it didn't work out but I'm still friends with her to this day (10+ years running)
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Old 2009-11-16, 03:50   Link #50
HayashiTakara
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Originally Posted by whitepearl View Post
I certainly remember the one whom I thought I could spend the rest of my life with...it didn't work out but I'm still friends with her to this day (10+ years running)
Pretty rare occurrence indeed.
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Old 2009-11-16, 04:52   Link #51
Narona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HayashiTakara View Post
*kicks*

I'll just leave it at that...
What a lazy reply, Hayashi-kun

I was merely advising you to edit your first post if you want to avoid more discussions about crushes and such. Not everyone read all the posts just to be able to tease you right after you know
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Old 2009-11-16, 10:07   Link #52
coderlan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whitepearl View Post
I certainly remember the one whom I thought I could spend the rest of my life with...it didn't work out but I'm still friends with her to this day (10+ years running)
Is she a beauty? Lucky guy, if she's also kind.
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Old 2009-11-16, 19:41   Link #53
whitepearl
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Originally Posted by coderlan View Post
Is she a beauty? Lucky guy, if she's also kind.
When I look back on it, she was pretty, though not drop-dead gorgeous pretty...but she really won me over by her immense level of kindness. I ended up friendzoning myself with her since at the time I had very few friends and didn't want to lose her as a friend (loser-talk these days but I was much younger—and romantically dumber—back then).

We went to different schools (HS and college) and our friendship began to weaken little by little. There were times I was really bothered by her inability to keep to her word (she always had a knack for canceling last minute) and it happened enough times for me to consider never talking to her again.

But we always ended up seeing each other in the most random of places, usually on the bus or train. We'd engage in small talk, you know, the usual "so how have you been?" kind of stuff. As insignificant as many of these conversations were based on subject matter, it essentially wiped all my negative sentiment I had against her off the board; everything seemingly began anew. How could I even *think* of leaving her out of my life forever?

It's pretty much a given that I have no chance with her romantically anymore; she's gone through her share of boyfriends, which makes me wonder if she just can't find the guy who fits her best.. But even if I cannot be more than just friends with her, it's impossible to discredit ten years of friendship. With other friends that I have not seen or spoken to in some time, that first conversation in a long time is usually slow, stagnant, and rather awkward (both sides just don't know what to talk about). With her, I can go two years without speaking to her but when we just happen to be at the same place at the same time, it's like time had never passed.

(Pat yourselves on the back if you've read this far)

I don't really ponder and contemplate on what ifs when I think about her. If it wasn't meant to be, it probably wasn't meant to be.
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Old 2009-11-16, 20:27   Link #54
synaesthetic
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First crush was in kindergarten, to a girl named... Kristen Anderson. She was pretty tall for her age and had blue eyes, curly blond hair. Holy shit I have no idea how I still remember that.

First love was when I was about eleven or so. One of my stepfather's friends had a daughter named Susan who came to visit us often; she was I think nine at the time. From the first time we met we couldn't take our eyes off each other. It just sort of snowballed from there.

A year or so later after we'd been together--virtually inseparable whenever she came to visit--the adults apparently discovered that we were *gasp* kissing! Oh my god, what a horrible thing to be doing!

What indecency! What debauchery!

The adults forcibly broke us up shortly thereafter. They made sure neither of us never, ever saw each other again. For almost a month afterward I was an emotional wreck.

I tried to contact her, but was thwarted at every turn by my parents. Letters would be intercepted (this was a little too early for e-mail). Phone calls would be monitored and any hint that I had tried to call her would result in major punishment.

This was one of the major events that started carving the insurmountable gulf that now exists between myself and my family.

Quote:
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First *love* was in my senior year in high school - a little japanese-american pixie who later became my wife (and still is...o.O). Saw her skipping down the hall one day with long black hair down past her waist, all 4'11" 95lbs of her. She had a great figure. Brain exploded.... never got better.
This made me smile.
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Old 2009-11-17, 09:12   Link #55
Akira Kogami
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I met my first love 5 years ago. It all started by me moving to another school and rumours being passed around about him. They said such horrible things, so I simply ignored them... but my curiousity grew. Eventually, I approached him and started to converse. As we talked more over time, I realised that I was developing a crush on him. However, I noted that it didn't feel like any of the other crushes I have had in the past. I didn't believe in love. Not true love... As I got to know him inside and out, I realised that love did exist and that was what I was feeling. When I confessed my feelings, he claimed to return them. Five years from then, and we are still together and now engaged. ^__^ <3
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Old 2009-11-17, 19:23   Link #56
Shiemi
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My first bf cannot be really considered a first love, though he always tells me I was his first love and that he still loves me more than 15 years later, but I only became his gf then because I wanted to try to love him. Didn't work.

My true first love occurred when I took my college entrance exam. I got a massive crush on this guy I saw and didn't even try approaching then. The fates decided to play a huge joke on me as later on I saw the same guy in orientation for Uni. We had applied for same Uni and same major. I was able to introduce myself to him somehow during a class and we sometimes met to study. We even went to watch a movie with another friend once. I confessed to him at some point and then ran away. He found me a few days later and asked why I had fled, which was awkward. I can remember he told me he liked me, but didn't want to date as he was entirely focused on his studies. He asked me to stay as friends and to wait a few years to see if anything would happen in the future. In the end, I changed majors and disappeared from his life. Still, he was the first guy ever to make me feel really in love, something that never happened with the guys I truly dated. Save for now, that is. For the first time in my life I feel I am with a guy I truly love.

But yeah, I never forget my first love: how he smiled, his scent, the way his eyes seemed to show excitement when he talked passionately about a particular subject, or his embrace.
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Old 2009-11-17, 19:48   Link #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HayashiTakara View Post
This is a thread about love not a crush.
Really? Reading the first post, I guess there are a lot of different ideas about what the difference between them really is.
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Old 2009-11-17, 21:17   Link #58
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My first love. Well. I'm currently in the midst of that.~

For the longest of time, I was fairly uninterested in any sort of romantic relationships or romance in general. My first -crush- caught me when my guard was down in 9th grade, and geez, did I crush on him. But I had strictly told myself I wouldn't get in a relationship and I was quite sure he wasn't attracted to me.

Not too long after that, I moved and it faded away. I went through another crush a good year later in my new school, and the other person in question actually -did- like me, but well, he never asked me out, even though he was obviously crushing on me baaadly. BUT. That was okay too. It passed and well, neither of them were all that wonderful anyways. In the end!

But okay. One of the things I was against were online relationships. I saw some really stupid things go on involving that with some of my online friends, and just. It was a bit 'NO' to me. And I didn't even want a relationship! I promised myself I wouldn't get one. And then. I meet this one guy who I started to crush on quite badly. I don't even know why. It was so strange. But months, and months passed. And he began crushing on me as well, not that I knew it. Looking back, we were -so- obvious. There wasn't even a confession. After about seven months, we just both came to a mutual understanding that we were crushing on the other preeeetty badly. And so. A few days later after talking it over, he asked me out. And I told him my thoughts over it, which he knew beforehand but. Just. I liked him too much to refuse. AND SO. That's where we are now! It's only been three months, but yeep. We are. Very close. Probably because we're always -very- open with each other, and it's just wonderful really. I feel a little silly because I broke every rule to myself, and what's worse is that he lives in another country. My parents wouldn't approve of this either, heavens no. But well, I'm happy. And he's going to visit me in the Summer too. And we speak on phone or through mic almost every day. SO. We'll see, I suppose.~

But it's nice, it's really nice. Wahaha.
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Old 2009-12-11, 16:11   Link #59
-Sho-
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Ow , i was about to make a thread "Do you remember your first love ?" hopefully i checked if there were already a thread about it ^^

So , mine was in Primary School . I was in CM1 (2 class before i entered the junior high school )
A new pupil entered the class , she was a cute girl ! By coincidence , she was next to me on my left XD back then i was so kind , i started to talk with her , we laughed together , next days we talked , played etc .. until one day , i heard the girl who was next to her said "Why do you love him , what do you find on him? i don't find him good" with negatives views (Damn Fat Ugly Girl , Big mouths !)
Of course , Jessica (the one who loved me) was blushing and timid but she suprised me , she said "So what ? what does it matter ? Yes , i was surprised , i didn't love her yet .
Well , i was kiddo , and i didn't know what to do back then . Each day passed , we moved away , our relationships weren't the same , fat girl and some others girls kept saying that i'm not good enough for her , yeah , i know , i was a coward , i ran away , one day , i realized that i loved her , she missed me , but it was too late , our relationship was dead , she moved on , i regretted that i didn't do something . Year passed , we were like 2 stranger . I decided to give up . And one day , one of my friend was going out with her . I felt jealousy but it can't be helped , i was stupid . Oh well , i was a kid after all XD
Until now , i don't have someone that i love deeply .
When i going out with a girl , i don't feel love , just sympathy , like a couple who going out and can break up 2 days after , 1 month etc .... , but not 1 year or more .
So , you have the right to tell me that i don't know what truly mean "love" cause i don't feel love anymore in the moment , except for the family , but its not the same "love" .

This reminds me some romance anime when the guy did stupid things lulz .
Well , finish the tell me life ...
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Old 2009-12-11, 18:56   Link #60
Aimingan12
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Ah yes first love. She will remain in my memories forever even though we didn't last long, it's still a pleasent memory.
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