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Old 2010-06-18, 13:00   Link #161
Finalage
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Nice, although I wonder if Asuna will catch on...or will her famous hot headedness get the better of her? Ahh! Next chapter for me up as well! No, not fifty one, fifty two is up! Yes, I am insane like that! Two chapters, five days! I've been doing things like this for a long while now...you'd think I would get used to it.

Chapter fifty one.

Harsh language apparent!

Chapter Fifty two.
Spoiler:



Gah ha ha...well, I have my work to do, speaking of which I ran into an interesting review, after wistfully wondering where my reviewers had gone, it made me wonder...does anyone else agree with this? This was given on chapter fifty one.

Spoiler for Review:
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Old 2010-06-20, 12:30   Link #162
Kurush
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I don't really know about that. I mean, sure, your writing is a little complicated for me at least to read, and I'm not sure I could stomach Negi being bitter against his dad, either. But you make a good job, at least. But this latest entry, where he rages against his own Mom, makes me want to stay away. Just my honest opinion.

Now, this would be the last part of the Negi vs. Aris fight and go into another part of the chapter.

Spoiler for Pt. 4:


Spoiler for Notes:


*Pant, pant* Your thoughts?
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Old 2010-06-20, 15:10   Link #163
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A New chapter is now uploaded to Story #3 - Chosen Fate. You can check it out here.
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Old 2010-06-21, 08:16   Link #164
Finalage
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On my way to read, when I can.

My main purpose for this story was that same thing however. I set out with the idea for a story that broke the normal tide, shattered it actually. It was to take the darkness in Negi's character and expand it, wrap it around him in a cloak. He wouldn't be an older lady killer, or a youthful dunce, not in mine. I set out with the intention of making him caustic and abrasive.

In essense, I wanted to weave a tale in which no one is a straight cut good guy, or a one purpose bad guy. I wove darkness where there was once light, and light where the darkness one reigned.

This is not the first "altercation" Negi has had with her. Mainly, his personality is not one that will easily except another person, he's not a happy go lucky boy who latches on to new people easily, he's a paranoid and suspicious character...

Yet, trust me when I say that for as much damage this may seem to have caused, Negi has an understanding heart underneath all of those spikes, and this on' destroy the two of them.

Of course, the brain child of it being Arika who originally spread those rumors of where she and Negi were living, leaving the door wide open for demons to rampage thier village, was a particularly twisted blow, I must admit. Terrible of me, ehh?
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Old 2010-06-25, 04:40   Link #165
Merctrin
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There may come a day when I update this story at a normal time. But it is not this day.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1
Day 2
Day 6

Spoiler for Day 7:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.

Last edited by Merctrin; 2010-06-25 at 04:57.
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Old 2010-06-26, 03:33   Link #166
deathcurse
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Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
There may come a day when I update this story at a normal time. But it is not this day.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1
Day 2
Day 6

Spoiler for Day 7:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.
Late here, so sorry for the short review . But I think that the characterization is perfect, it's moving along at a nice, believable pace. I'm so spell-bound by the Setsuna/Tsukuyomi interaction, and by the characters' thoughts on each other even if they're alone: amazing detail of how Tsukuyomi observed that spending time with Konoka comforts Setsuna, and how Setsuna is more preoccupied in her thoughts with Tsukuyomi rather than Konoka...such beautifully subtle things that do an amazing job of making the characters so interesting.

On another note, here's a short thought-piece from Konoka about her friendships, with a little about Asuna's own friendships.

Spoiler for The Million Little Things of Friendship:

Spoiler for Random note:
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Old 2010-06-28, 02:54   Link #167
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Just put up chapter 36. If you want the starting link, check my signature.

Spoiler for Edit:
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"The objective is not to win. It is to eliminate every option for the enemy except the one to lose."

Knowledge is power. It should be shared.

Last edited by Kurush; 2010-06-29 at 04:36.
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Old 2010-07-01, 22:18   Link #168
Merctrin
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I finally managed to finish a chapter before midnight. I'm in shock.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1
Day 2
Day 6
Day 7

Spoiler for Day 11:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.
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Old 2010-07-02, 07:26   Link #169
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Nice, very nice... I'm gonna add this to my Favorites out there.

I got something here. Not KonoSetsu, like I promised, but I swear to Ahura Mazda that I will set it up once I get to it.

Spoiler for Setsuna's court martial:


Spoiler for Notes:
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Here, read this if interested.

"The objective is not to win. It is to eliminate every option for the enemy except the one to lose."

Knowledge is power. It should be shared.
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Old 2010-07-10, 19:23   Link #170
deathcurse
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Previous chapters

Love and Duty Come in Chains
Chapter 6

It seems like there hasn't been lots of discussion on this thread for a while, eh?
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Old 2010-07-10, 21:31   Link #171
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Oh, poopy. I was trying to keep away for a bit, working in silence. Ever since putting up fifty two news here, I have gotten to fifty five. I'm working on number fifty six right now. I am really planning to end this all at the 60th chapter with the epilogue and all.

Number fifty five is here.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5366768/...plied_Approach

Of this chapter, I once again dive into the issue I have writing scenes with a bit more...affectionate feelings in them. I seem to excel in writing for anger, action and the like, but my "fluff" ain't all that fluffy. I kinda glazed over it too with this piece...

Spoiler for Snippet:


I used a flashback as cover. I can't seem to be able to write affection for any amount of time. I have improved of course, with time, but the progress is slow. Any ideas for some help?
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Old 2010-07-10, 21:52   Link #172
Merctrin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurush View Post
Nice, very nice... I'm gonna add this to my Favorites out there.

I got something here. Not KonoSetsu, like I promised, but I swear to Ahura Mazda that I will set it up once I get to it.

Spoiler for Setsuna's court martial:


Spoiler for Notes:
...Okay, alignments are hard. The only one that really makes sense in my head (besides Setsuna's, thanks to you) would be Haruna as a Chaotic Neutral, with a solid allegiance to her friends. Maybe. ...Alignments are really, really hard. Or I'm just bad at them.

New chapter from me. Fun chapter this time around. And by fun I mean... well, I had fun with it.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1
Day 2
Day 6
Day 7
Day 11

Spoiler for Day 12:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.
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Old 2010-07-11, 02:30   Link #173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
...Okay, alignments are hard. The only one that really makes sense in my head (besides Setsuna's, thanks to you) would be Haruna as a Chaotic Neutral, with a solid allegiance to her friends. Maybe. ...Alignments are really, really hard. Or I'm just bad at them.

New chapter from me. Fun chapter this time around. And by fun I mean... well, I had fun with it.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1
Day 2
Day 6
Day 7
Day 11

Spoiler for Day 12:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.
Well, alignments are hard to understand if you haven't heard of them before.

Spoiler for Full details:


Would that help? Or would you like the link to the alignments instead?

Edit: Finally, I've done the KonoSetsu moment! With a touch of Atsuna as well.

Spoiler for Special moment:


Spoiler for Notes:
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"The objective is not to win. It is to eliminate every option for the enemy except the one to lose."

Knowledge is power. It should be shared.

Last edited by Kurush; 2010-07-11 at 13:57.
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Old 2010-07-13, 16:05   Link #174
Finalage
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I'll provide it because I know one and the fact that I feel I need to participate..

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...acterAlignment

Looking at the chart, I'd have to say the way I portray my characters makes sure none of them are really, truely "Lawful good" unless I don't put much emphasis on them. Negi is kind of a toss up between Chaotic Good and Chaotic Neutral, but if I had to chose, he'd be a good, even if he is just a plain ol' lunatic sometimes... The general good guy who doesn't mind getting his hands a little messy.

Providing an example, My story setting is based in chaos, but with a constant struggle to gain the order. Negi is a character that does what he thinks is right, regardless of the law, but he doesn't feel like overextending himself in everyway. He's the kind of guy who would go into a burning building, but he's not gonna stop to catch the girl that jumps out the window, unless he feels like it that is...

Classic to the story, he doesn't mind abusing airpiort staff to avoid tripping the metal detectors, or avoiding detection. He'll freeze um, lock them in broom closets, he doesn't care, as long as he gets where he needs to go.
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Old 2010-07-13, 16:58   Link #175
Merctrin
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TV Tropes has ruined my life... still, thanks for the link. *twitches*

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Previous chapters

Love and Duty Come in Chains
Chapter 6

It seems like there hasn't been lots of discussion on this thread for a while, eh?
Dang, but reading this can be painful. On the plus side, added angst makes it more difficult to be really angry at either of them, but it's still very, very angsty. Which I suppose is a lot of fun, but... yeah, painful.

I kind of figured that something like that happened with Setsuna, but it still isn't very nice to think about. Makes a horrible amount of sense, too. I think. Afterward, Konoka would feel incredibly guilty over not managing to protect Setsuna, and Setsuna would be a wreck for more reasons than it's sane to consider. Is that how things fell apart so easily along with the wards? Just looking at everything right now, it looks like it at least has the potential to have a lot to do with it.

Hm... Okay, hypothetically, Konoka feels that she failed Setsuna once already, so when Setsuna starts pulling away after Halloween, she feels like she doesn't have the right to reach out, since she's the one who caused the recent emotional turmoil in the first place. And due to some misplaced, ongoing guilt, she refuses to cause Setsuna any more trouble than she already has, even if it's for her partner's own good.

Meanwhile, Setsuna... I don't really want to think about how she must have been feeling after Konoka saved her. But at the simplest and least emotionally scarring level, she's supposed to take care of Konoka, and she can't even protect herself. So when something new shows up, that she feels responsible for, that causes Konoka a lot of stress, she thinks the best thing to do is detach herself from their deeper emotional connection. When Konoka doesn't immediately snap her out of it, the feeling's given the opportunity to take over.

And. Well. From there, things just keep getting worse. Because they don't talk to each other.

Even if that's not exactly it, I'm with Asuna and Evangeline. They're idiots. And all their complicated angst is making my head spin.

More please?
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Old 2010-07-14, 01:22   Link #176
deathcurse
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
I finally managed to finish a chapter before midnight. I'm in shock.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1
Day 2
Day 6
Day 7

Spoiler for Day 11:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.
Very, very clever of Tsukuyomi...and the best part of her plan is that it's all behaviour that is not only in character for her, but would be like routine, making it seem less likely that she had other goals in mind . Now, the most interesting part about Tsukuyomi's plan is that she wants to say goodbye to Setsuna, and that illogic could possibly ruin everything. So to see her risk so much on a simple goodbye speaks volumes, all of it so subtle that I'm absolutely drooling at how well-written this all is .

Konoka and Setsuna moments are soooooooo sweet . Regardless of whether this is a Tsukuyomi<-->Setsuna or a Tsukuyomi-->Setsuna<-->Konoka or a full-blown love triangle, the moments when those two are together feel so much in character that any reader would forget any other ships and start shipping KonoSetsu there. Beautiful writing, incredibly convincing and subtle.

Quote:
Tomorrow, she’d make sure that her Senpai couldn’t ignore things.
Oh Tsukuyomi, you excel in ominous thinking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
New chapter from me. Fun chapter this time around. And by fun I mean... well, I had fun with it.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1
Day 2
Day 6
Day 7
Day 11

Spoiler for Day 12:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.
Tsukuyomi brings up some very interesting speculations there, and she may even be right to a certain degree. Very thin line between love and hate there, Setsuna!

The mental struggle was creepy...like, serial killer psychopathy creepy. Perfect for Tsukuyomi!

Setsuna seems to enjoy banging her head on walls in fiction!

That last flashback is interesting...I'm thinking it could be either Tsukuyomi's and Setsuna's very young childhood, when they first met, or it could be their last fight before the story started. And the urgency of the tone makes me wonder if it's guilt that's driving the speaker, or worry.

Some great lines:
Quote:
She didn’t particularly like seeing Tsukuyomi that unhappy, but at least then they weren’t fighting.
Now that has me happily seeing Tsukuyomi x Setsuna subtext . And I have to say, I'm amazed that there are always moments that have me shipping those two hard, when I'm a KonoSetsu fan .
Quote:
Making Setsuna stop unbuttoning her shirt wasn’t a desired effect of the baiting, even if it did get her to turn around.
....I just laughed . Out loud, getting me some weird looks from my family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
Dang, but reading this can be painful. On the plus side, added angst makes it more difficult to be really angry at either of them, but it's still very, very angsty. Which I suppose is a lot of fun, but... yeah, painful.

I kind of figured that something like that happened with Setsuna, but it still isn't very nice to think about. Makes a horrible amount of sense, too. I think. Afterward, Konoka would feel incredibly guilty over not managing to protect Setsuna, and Setsuna would be a wreck for more reasons than it's sane to consider. Is that how things fell apart so easily along with the wards? Just looking at everything right now, it looks like it at least has the potential to have a lot to do with it.
Spoiler for I know what you're thinking, but...:


I have heard some interesting speculations about the Wards, but so far no one has actually hit the nail on the head yet, although many people are incredibly close .

Quote:
Hm... Okay, hypothetically, Konoka feels that she failed Setsuna once already, so when Setsuna starts pulling away after Halloween, she feels like she doesn't have the right to reach out, since she's the one who caused the recent emotional turmoil in the first place. And due to some misplaced, ongoing guilt, she refuses to cause Setsuna any more trouble than she already has, even if it's for her partner's own good.

Meanwhile, Setsuna... I don't really want to think about how she must have been feeling after Konoka saved her. But at the simplest and least emotionally scarring level, she's supposed to take care of Konoka, and she can't even protect herself. So when something new shows up, that she feels responsible for, that causes Konoka a lot of stress, she thinks the best thing to do is detach herself from their deeper emotional connection. When Konoka doesn't immediately snap her out of it, the feeling's given the opportunity to take over.

And. Well. From there, things just keep getting worse. Because they don't talk to each other.

Even if that's not exactly it, I'm with Asuna and Evangeline. They're idiots. And all their complicated angst is making my head spin.

More please?
Wow, that's in words what I've been trying to show . Amazing summary of it all, and having Kyo thrown in there makes Konoka's side of things not-so-straightforward as well!

I mean to slowly explain what lies behind all the angst between them, but plot will begin to pick up more from here on out, so I'll have to find some way to cram it all in . And yes, they are idiots, but isn't complicated angst fun???
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Old 2010-07-14, 14:47   Link #177
Kurush
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Just put up chapter 37.

Further note: Meep-ah. I do my best giving you a KonoSetsu moment and I get ignored? Okay, I admit it wasn't the best, but I tried at least.
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Old 2010-07-14, 21:04   Link #178
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Ha ha, I'm ignored a lot too. Ehh, I know why though, my story, with all of it's darkness, is both for far along and too...dare I say, insane? My next one, coming up soon, will be easier on the eyes...well, no, not really, but it will have more of the action most look for...heh heh....

Sorry Merctrin, I did not know that the site had wronged you. I will keep further note...
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Old 2010-07-15, 01:59   Link #179
deathcurse
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Well, I apologize for skipping lots of the fics here ...I'm sure they're of excellent quality, but I'm a vague Negima fan at best, and I'm sad to say that I don't have enough of an interest in the fandom to fully appreciate all the details of the world. I gloss over magic in my stories since I still don't particularly get the recent conflicts dealing with it, and I'd much rather tell a story about the core cast instead. The fics you guys do seem to dive really deeply into the politics and the world, which isn't really my main interest.
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Old 2010-07-15, 13:01   Link #180
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
The fics you guys do seem to dive really deeply into the politics and the world, which isn't really my main interest.
I don't think mines have politics... lol o--o;;

A New chapter is now uploaded to Story #3 - Chosen Fate. You can check it out here.
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