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Old 2012-01-19, 05:38   Link #1
Mobyz
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
My Own Work [Story Only]- Please give constructive criticism

Animations are not yet included as this is just the elementary stage of my project, this is just for fun however because I have a strong passion for writing stories/reading manga/watching Anime.

Title of my project- End

Self Introduction- Just doing this for fun and my passion for Anime/Manga so I would like people to be grateful and offer as much constructive criticism as you can so that I can work towards bettering my work. Note this is nothing more than the elementary stage of my project AKA a rough draft so do not expect anything spectacular. In addition, 1 word responses like "Sucks," or "Bad" is strongly not recommended because responses really do nothing positive at all and is a waste of your time and my time. I mean you are allowed to troll but keep in mind you will receive no responses to troll comments like "herp derp," "troollololoollo" etc etc. Thank you! I hope to receive some responses soon.

Genre- Action/Psychological Thriller/Mystery/School

Tagline- Watchers beware, End....has just arrived

Main Protagonist- Akira Tatsunoko [ Black hair with slight blue highlights, brown eyes]

Other chars will be inputted soon

Setting- 2021- A virtuous time where new found advanced technological life forms have replaced most of our workforce.

Summary- Life has always been a blessing for Akira Tatsunoko,17 year old high school student, whose wealth, wits and popularity unmatched by his peers. But with all harmonious times, a period of disharmony would soon have to follow. The raging storms now eclipse the bountiful seas, the life once knew evaporated in a blink of an eye. Akira soon discovers End, a game so iniquitous the human soul darkens as soon as one enters this twilight zone. A rigid test of the human identity, soul, heart and self preservation.

I'm thinking of postulating a game similar to China's 三国杀, I love the idea of a life/death battle where strength/intelligence/teamwork/backstabbing all come into play. Just started working on this like an hour ago and I'm just jotting down ideas coming to my head. Thank you I will update! But it's 5:38 so I'm heading off to bed, Chao!.
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Old 2012-01-19, 14:51   Link #2
Triple_R
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Age: 33
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Well, it sounds interesting and promising so far. Your word choice is very good, and pretty engaging.
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Old 2012-01-21, 21:10   Link #3
king12354
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Good luck with it. I have been trying to write a story too but it's difficult for me to motivate myself to write it since my storyline is quite complex. Don't be lazy like me :P
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