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Old 2010-11-04, 02:42   Link #81
Yuno
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Oh dear, you've lost your PC? what happened did the harddrive fail? I once had a hard drive with 12 rough drafts for 12 books crash and be destroyed. I announced that I would give up writing from then on. That giving up lasted for a few days and next thing I know I was rewriting them all. I after a year am still only on book seven, but I think I shall slim the series down and edit the copies to encompass things from the other books. So I can share in your pain. Definitely a bit of everything~

I am glad to hear from you, and it's good your brother is letting you borrow his laptop. I am so restricting about people using my computer (mainly because my stories are on there) that I would never lend it >.<
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Old 2010-11-04, 05:58   Link #82
Chimuts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooves View Post
*uses hypnosis* (The old watch way) you are getting sleeeepy
Your hypnotism worked!!

@Daniel E
did your pc broke down?
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Old 2010-11-04, 15:33   Link #83
Daniel E.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
what happened did the harddrive fail?
No, I believe the hard drive still works. Mind you, the whole thing is pretty old, so I am seriously considering getting myself a new one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimuts View Post
@Daniel E
did your pc broke down?
Yes, at the same time as the monitor.
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Old 2010-11-04, 15:44   Link #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
False masks are a dangerous trap I think about it at times a lot. If I am talking to someone in real life I wonder how much of "Them" I am seeing and how much they have hidden. The closer I get to people I tend to try and tear down their masks to see the real person because that is the most special thing about them.

Hehe, I look forward to hearing your input about the story~ I am glad you're enjoying my writing hehe ^.^
That just reminded me of a Code Geass scene

Spoiler for Code Geass R2 Scene:


Quote:
No, I believe the hard drive still works. Mind you, the whole thing is pretty old, so I am seriously considering getting myself a new one.
How old is it? Mine is about 5 years old, but still works well with the latests games... Well a little
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Old 2010-11-04, 23:10   Link #85
Yuno
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I'm so glad that it wasn't your harddrive. I would not wish that misfortune on anyone. It would seem it is time to upgrade. It has left you with little other options.

Hooves: Hmm, interesting I can feel that intense about other's social masks too, but of course it's quite dramatized in the anime I would imagine. My computer is also five years old and I can play most games, just not anything coming out after 2011 I am thinking.
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Old 2010-11-05, 18:10   Link #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
Hooves: Hmm, interesting I can feel that intense about other's social masks too, but of course it's quite dramatized in the anime I would imagine. My computer is also five years old and I can play most games, just not anything coming out after 2011 I am thinking.
Well the girl in the anime is the type to get along quite well with everyone, and trust them alot. But when that dream happened, it would be very dreadful for her (even some dramatizing scenes included in the anime)
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Old 2010-11-05, 18:40   Link #87
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Oh I see, that is really interesting. I must confess that I have never watched Code Geass because isn't my cup of tea, but I am slowly being intrigued by your words hehe~
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Old 2010-11-07, 21:58   Link #88
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So that's why I can't find Sora..... changed to Sofiel >_<

I'm a fan of your poetry Sofiel-sama,

admired those people with some huge thoughts and imagination, you, hooves-sama and PM-sama, the author trios ^^ keep up the great work Sofiel-sama
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Old 2010-11-08, 21:36   Link #89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patchy View Post
So that's why I can't find Sora..... changed to Sofiel >_<

I'm a fan of your poetry Sofiel-sama,

admired those people with some huge thoughts and imagination, you, hooves-sama and PM-sama, the author trios ^^ keep up the great work Sofiel-sama
I still havnt released any of my stories, so it cannot really be put out about my "huge" thoughts and imaginations I might post one of the recent stories I'm working on now.. But I will have to get someone to check over it to make sure it doesn't bore anyone.. I choose Sofiel! Thats if you dont mind Sofiel...
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Old 2010-11-08, 22:30   Link #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooves View Post
I still havnt released any of my stories, so it cannot really be put out about my "huge" thoughts and imaginations I might post one of the recent stories I'm working on now.. But I will have to get someone to check over it to make sure it doesn't bore anyone.. I choose Sofiel! Thats if you dont mind Sofiel...
*hypnotizes you* Release your stories... release your stories...
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Old 2010-11-10, 01:06   Link #91
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Sofiel I just finished Part. 1 of Forbidden Desire. ^^ I must say, wowzers!

I absolutely love how sophisticated your writing style is, and how you include various rhetoricals and extremely descriptive language.

Quote:
her eyes glow with a blue brilliance that even the sky would envy.

Again loud invasive knocks rattled my ear and my being along with it.
I think lines like these two are your most descriptive. Very good I must say, without over doing it, you're able to describe the situation perfectly. "Invasive, blue brilliance that even the sky would envy". It also gives us some more insight into the character of our unfortunate protagonist.

Quote:
how was it that the devil acquired souls?
I believe this was a very good rhetorical question for the context it's set in, what a question indeed. It's not everyday someone asks themselves this, and it certainly adds to the mood of the story, for me anyway.

Quote:
Seeing a person face to face… I shrunk. I shrunk quickly my flame put out in an instant. I smoothed down the mess that was my hair and grinned weakly interlocking my fingers innocently.

she looked me up and down I knew what she wanted to say, but her beliefs kept her from insulting me directly.

I would enjoy watching her suffer. One who lives in the light, but has the forked tongue of a devil.
I also think these three sentences are perfectly worded, we receive a deeper insight into the characters of that they're referring to, namely their personality's. Simply put, it really helps with the characterization in your story.

Quote:
This world of duality where light and dark seemed to exist in all people.
This sentence itself is quite deep, the extent of the conclusion one comes to after reading this is ambiguous because of one's own experiences, but I think we can all safely say that this is a core truth of the world and a truth of living.

In summary, very nicely written, I would rather read this story than a multitude of other books that have been published of the same genre.

Although one thing, it's seems so stupid for me to point it out, but I MUST!

Quote:
"Another knock came just as jarring as the other, the wood within my door seemed to groan in the same displeasure as I. We were being invaded upon."
I think a comma was missing from this sentence. Yeah I know, I'm an idiot.

I will continue Part 2, later. Once again, lazy.
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Old 2010-11-14, 01:01   Link #92
Yuno
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Thank you all of you for your indepth comments. I am thankful people were able to gain some enjoyment out of my writing. As for the mistakes, I thank you for pointing it out, but I shall not edit it here, but rather on the original copy. I must caution in correcting my mistakes, as these are first drafts. As such I don't intend on publishing these works so I have been kind of lazy editing them (A glance over at best T.T). So you may find a lot of mistakes and I don't want to waste anyones time~ I'm so sorry if one thought these are actual works I am hoping to do things with. If anyone is curious at the publishing process do let me know and I will gladly explain and help you gain the confidence you need.

Also replies to messages may vary in time as I am usually at the hospital~
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Old 2010-11-17, 22:18   Link #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
Thank you all of you for your indepth comments. I am thankful people were able to gain some enjoyment out of my writing. As for the mistakes, I thank you for pointing it out, but I shall not edit it here, but rather on the original copy. I must caution in correcting my mistakes, as these are first drafts. As such I don't intend on publishing these works so I have been kind of lazy editing them (A glance over at best T.T). So you may find a lot of mistakes and I don't want to waste anyones time~ I'm so sorry if one thought these are actual works I am hoping to do things with. If anyone is curious at the publishing process do let me know and I will gladly explain and help you gain the confidence you need.

Also replies to messages may vary in time as I am usually at the hospital~
Where did you get this idea! Of course you're not wasting anyone's time Sofiel!

The sounds of the hospital visits is getting me even more worried now
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Old 2010-11-17, 22:31   Link #94
Yuno
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I promise that the hospital visits will lead to good results. I am under going a lot of treatment so I am being taken away from here a lot to be there. I am sorry if I worried you, but it's for the best. This will keep me able and at least a bit more healthy than I have been of late~

Hehe, you are very kind to say. I should be a bit more mindful of other people's caring. I was just worried people might do so much more to help me than I can repay~ I would never post an actual work here though because I am worried about having my idea's copied and that people might take too much time to help me~
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Old 2010-11-17, 22:45   Link #95
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Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
Hehe, you are very kind to say. I should be a bit more mindful of other people's caring. I was just worried people might do so much more to help me than I can repay~
To repay? Oh you don't have to worry about repaying the kindness of the people here, we always love to help as much as we can

Quote:
I would never post an actual work here though because I am worried about having my idea's copied and that people might take too much time to help me~
Having your idea's copied is a constant fear all writers who post their works online fear, since their are some people who just steal work, and try to make it so that they wrote it to impress people. But let's see those people who copied back those stories up when people ask questions

We always have some spare time in our lives to help Sofiel, no need to worry about that
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Old 2010-12-04, 02:26   Link #96
Yuno
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It's been a while. I thought of this after a long hard day of appointments and getting my home. It would seem that my stray days are slowly coming to an end. I have been applied to "streets to homes" program in my city. I will also be seeking aid for my past, with counciling and other things. This will be done through an amazing program. As well my disability was sent out and I can only hope that will come into effect soon. Yet as I did all this something deep within my heart began to stir. I couldn't put it into words so I tried to write it in a poem. I am so protective of my new life that it seems I don't want to share it with anyone. Since when I do abuse, and having to escape follow. Anyway, without further ado~

Spoiler for Dear Dream:
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Old 2010-12-04, 02:43   Link #97
Hooves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
It's been a while. I thought of this after a long hard day of appointments and getting my home. It would seem that my stray days are slowly coming to an end. I have been applied to "streets to homes" program in my city. I will also be seeking aid for my past, with counciling and other things. This will be done through an amazing program. As well my disability was sent out and I can only hope that will come into effect soon. Yet as I did all this something deep within my heart began to stir. I couldn't put it into words so I tried to write it in a poem. I am so protective of my new life that it seems I don't want to share it with anyone. Since when I do abuse, and having to escape follow. Anyway, without further ado~

Spoiler for Dear Dream:
Oh my... Such a deeply written poem here Sofiel, here are my opinions of what they mean by reading them.

Spoiler for Speculation:


Of course these opinions might not be accurately correct, but that is what I think your poem meant
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Old 2010-12-04, 02:51   Link #98
Yuno
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Hehe, you're very accurate~ I am glad you enjoyed it. As I said it came to my head as I heard these lines: "The WIN program or "Women in Need" is for women who escaped abusive relationships. It provides them with furniture, and basic needs they may not have gotten when they escaped. However, the WIN program can only be used ONCE." My eyes widened at that. I promised that the events in my past would be the last time I suffer. Also that I shall only use "WIN" once and not regret.
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Old 2010-12-04, 02:53   Link #99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
Hehe, you're very accurate~ I am glad you enjoyed it. As I said it came to my head as I heard these lines: "The WIN program or "Women in Need" is for women who escaped abusive relationships. It provides them with furniture, and basic needs they may not have gotten when they escaped. However, the WIN program can only be used ONCE." My eyes widened at that. I promised that the events in my past would be the last time I suffer. Also that I shall only use "WIN" once and not regret.
Well it seems I was completely off the topic in this one
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Old 2010-12-04, 02:58   Link #100
Chimuts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofiel View Post
Spoiler for Dear Dream:
trying to summarise it...
Spoiler for space~:


and the first poem is still revolving around my head...
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