What have I been up to? Mostly being sleep-deprived Real life has definitely been getting in the way of my anime watching... I should have more free time after this week though.
On the anime-watching front, though, I'm really enjoying this season. I have more shows that I want to watch than I have time for, which is always a good problem to have (it hasn't happened in the last few seasons). I still haven't gotten around to watching Chihayafuru or Guilty Crown. What do you think of those?
I've really been enjoying watching adaptations of things I've read the source material for. That's a bit unusual for me, since I often don't watch anime series after having read the manga (Usagi Drop, TWGOK, Wandering Son, etc.). Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Fate/Zero and Mirai Nikki are more action oriented. Either way, it's certainly a different experience than watching something without already knowing what's going to happen.
The surprise of the season, IMO, is Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai, which I was expecting to be horrible and hated the pilot OVA for. Given that, I have no idea why I decided to watch the first TV episode, but against all odds, the series actually seems pretty good so far.
1. My main goal with the fanfic was to make it "airtight" so to speak. To keep the characters in-character, and make it feel like this romance narrative could believable arise as a canon extension of the anime. With that in mind, I tried to conceive of the possible critical questions readers might have for doubting it ("Why didn't Saki confess to Nodoka before? Why has she chosen this particular place and time for the confession? Etc...").
Admittedly, this fanfic is wrote in part for my own enjoyment. In the anime, the Saki/Nodoka yuri relationship really resonated with me, and I wanted to take it beyond the the *hint, hint, nudge, nudge* level to something more concrete. So I wanted to "fill in the holes" so to speak, and make it seem like the fanfic could easily happen in the anime if the anime was a bolder and more sensuous one.
That being said, I do see your "show, don't tell" point, and will try to keep extraneous details to a minimum in the next Chapter.
2. Nodoka has what I would call a "grand" style of speech. She does indeed come off as formal, polite, "high class", Miss Mannerly to me. Think of those student idols in all-girls school anime shows, lol. Nodoka would fit right in there.
Saki has a more normal, but cautious and reserved style of speech. I may have made her a bit too formalized, based on what you wrote, so I'll watch out for that in Chapter 2.
Anyway, glad you enjoyed Chapter 1! Chapter 2 will be a fair bit more lemon-y, and will be up later today or tomorrow. Interested in reading it? If so, I'll link you to it once its done.
As for "Darth_Joker's" fanfics on fanfiction.net... alas, I don't always have the best follow-through on fanfics, lol.
I'll get good ideas, and a good chapter or two off, and then lose focus. My El Hazard/Haruhi Suzumiya fanfic is the major exception there, where I soldiered through, probably because I actually had the ending planned out right from Chapter 1.
Still, if there's any of my Darth Joker fanfics that you really think I should pick back up and give another crack at, please tell me.
One thing I noticed about the fic is that you're using a very direct, straightforward writing style, which is great because it means you get your point across very clearly and concisely. The only issue you might want to be careful of is that it sometimes that leads to telling as opposed to showing. For instance, in the paragraph that starts with "For a long time," you really get across the entire premise of the story in a few sentences, but you might want to consider whether that's really necessary. After all, it is tagged as a Saki/Nodoka romance, and even ignoring that, hopefully the rest of the story would be written in a way that the reader can understand what Saki and Nodoka's relationship is even without that being explicitly spelled out.
A second observation is that Saki and Nodoka use relatively few contractions in their dialogue, which gives their interaction a more formal tone. If that's what you were going for (It's been too long since I watched Saki), then that's perfect, but otherwise, it's just something you might want to be aware of.
Obviously, all of these stylistic things are personal taste and completely up to the author, and the fic was certainly fun to read (and cute as hell). Great job!