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Yosei 2008-08-28 10:08

To strengthen my last posted chapter and to lead up to the next phase of this fanfic (the Champion Carnival), here's newly updated profiles of the boxers competing for glory:

Spoiler for Jeane's bio representing Rabona Academy:


Spoiler for Champion Carnival circuit (Part 1):

KillerYomaFromSpace 2008-08-28 15:24

hey Yosei, I find your fanfic very original and addictive, I love to imagine the characters in a diferent reality, gives you a lot of narrative freedom, keep it up :)

hell88 2008-08-28 16:36

@Fenrir: Your story is funny, that last chapter was hot!:bow:

@Yosei: I see you have new bio's up, can't wait to see what happens in your next chapter.

Finally I finished my next chapter. Here it is.:cool:

Spoiler for double edged chapter 4:

weirdo487 2008-08-28 16:44

@Fenrir
awesome chapter just like the others keep it up :heh:

@ all ye others
I've been busy and haven't had much writing time lately so i haven't gotten much done on the next chapter of those with out a home but but i should be finished with it be the weekend. sorry for the wait.

Yosei 2008-08-28 19:46

I enjoyed that chapter, Hell. For someone who's managed to charm so many women, Raki seems to have a horrendously low EQ. I find myself liking the Dragons, but it's interesting how, err, easily Clarice forgets about Raphaela. As muscular as her Dragon loverboy may be. :heh: Perhaps it's a heat of the moment thing? After all, a lot of the smexy in your fics have been a heat of the moment thing too.

Thanks @ KillerYoma, I hope the plot (sort of) thickens in this chapter, we will get an idea of just how far our heroines at Rabona Academy need to go. :)



Spoiler for space:




Come one, come all, place your fight bets for the imminent Champion Carnival. :cool:

hell88 2008-08-28 20:37

Glad you liked my chapter, Yosei. Raki seems to be having a hard time learning about women now doesn't he?:heh: He's not the smartest guy around is he?:heh: Now about Clarice, I'm not going to say anything because I'll probably end up saying spoilers.

I liked your chapter, it slowed down from the fighting, which means you are probably going to have a lot of fights in your next chapter? When Irene showed up I really thought more would happen, mabye if Clare and Irene found out about each other, but mabye that will happen later on. It was funny when Helen was trying to hold on to Deneve, I laughed. I see Cynthia and Galatea are still at it, with Galatea calling Cynthia her kitten and all. Hmmm I wonder where I've heard this before?:heh:

Anyway keep up the good work.;)

Yosei 2008-08-28 20:49

In every AU I write Galatea always calls Cynthia kitten :o

I wanted Irene to make her presence known quickly. She will not be doing any real fighting for a while... after all, as you probably guessed, I have set her up to be a 'boss character'. ;)

KillerYomaFromSpace 2008-08-28 20:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yosei (Post 1845902)
Come one, come all, place your fight bets for the imminent Champion Carnival. :cool:

hhhmm, I'll go with Ophelia, Miria, Deneve, Clare and Jean

hell88 2008-08-28 20:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yosei (Post 1846041)
In every AU I write Galatea always calls Cynthia kitten :o

I wanted Irene to make her presence known quickly. She will not be doing any real fighting for a while... after all, as you probably guessed, I have set her up to be a 'boss character'. ;)

That means Galatea and Cynthia get it on in everyone of your fics.:D:heh:

I think it would be cool if you have Irene meet Teresa again. That would be after her fight though I think.

Yosei 2008-08-28 21:04

Yeah I support this crack pairing since no one else does. :(

I will try to have the Rabona warriors live up to your expectations, KillerYoma. ;)

ghazghkull 2008-08-28 23:51

Yosei: The stage has been set, and the matches have been declared. Find out who will be the victor in the next edition of Robona Academy!

I liked it :3

I WANT TO SEE MORE!!! XD

And I really liked how you introduced Galatea. Calm, cool, collected. Just like how she should be :3

shelter 2008-08-29 02:34

@Hell:

It's a better Chapter. Finally you've shown something that I've been waiting for the past 4 chapters: that Raki is the cause of all the problems. Now you're going to have to try & show in your story that Raki is more than just Clare or Miria's accessory...

Yosei calls it smexy. But I think it's more than your character's motives are very impulsive. It gives the impression that the characters in your fics are inconsistent (it seems like) because they agree on this thing in this chapter & another in the next.

Good cliffhanger, btw :)

KillerYomaFromSpace 2008-08-29 06:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yosei (Post 1846091)
I will try to have the Rabona warriors live up to your expectations, KillerYoma. ;)

please, don't be conditioned by my bets, I wouldn't like to influence the story ;)

Yosei 2008-08-29 07:26

Good news, here is the finalized chapter list for the Champion Carnival Arc.


Spoiler for whee:



Quality storytelling, 60% guaranteed. X3

shelter 2008-08-29 11:49

@Yosei, here's some of the way you can possibly play with the fights. Overly descriptive, but trying to stick to my style:

Spoiler for Sample 1: Loser's POV:



Spoiler for Sample 2: Winner's POV:


Also some other possible conflict scenarios I brainstormed: fighting in the corner, street-fighting or a fight described in a technical viewpoint (sorry if they sound too WWE-ish)

That said, I don't think you actually need them anymore. Your past few chapters have been very good, the fights much better (especially Clare vs. Rachel). So I will refrain from going overboard with my comments for the time being :) Hope the samples were useful too.

hell88 2008-08-29 16:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelter (Post 1846715)
@Hell:

It's a better Chapter. Finally you've shown something that I've been waiting for the past 4 chapters: that Raki is the cause of all the problems. Now you're going to have to try & show in your story that Raki is more than just Clare or Miria's accessory...

Yosei calls it smexy. But I think it's more than your character's motives are very impulsive. It gives the impression that the characters in your fics are inconsistent (it seems like) because they agree on this thing in this chapter & another in the next.

Good cliffhanger, btw :)

Not only have you been waiting for it, but I've been waiting to write about that forever. I'm still thinking up how the next chapter should go, but something crossed my mind. Jean is with Raki and Clare as they go and find Miria, I wonder what she'll really end up doing?:eyespin:

@Yosei: Now that I know what you next chapters are going to be called, can't wait to read them and find out what happens.;)

You're new avatar rules!:heh:

Yosei 2008-08-29 18:38

@ Shelter: Thanks for the advice. It seems that I'm on the right track in the sense that instead of simply saying "She punched her" and "She blocked", I should exploit the italicized thoughts that I usually use when characters are thinking. Glad to know the writing seems to have picked up in recent chapters. *sigh of relief*

@ Hell: Sorry for the delay in chapters, because I am helping AkatsukiYu with his rather ambitious FF x Claymore crossover. However, my boxing fanfic is also going to be quite big so yeah...

Remember the "Warning! Premises protected by Cynthia" pic? It's still on the Image thread. I thought it was hilarious (and cute). X3

hell88 2008-08-29 19:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yosei (Post 1848397)
@ Hell: Sorry for the delay in chapters, because I am helping AkatsukiYu with his rather ambitious FF x Claymore crossover. However, my boxing fanfic is also going to be quite big so yeah...

Remember the "Warning! Premises protected by Cynthia" pic? It's still on the Image thread. I thought it was hilarious (and cute). X3

Thats okay, take your time. The longer the better right?;)

I bet Cynthia has that pic on her bedroom door, when Galatea is in their with her.:naughty:

Yosei 2008-08-29 20:11

Wow yah, that's hot, to be protected by Cynthia... :eek: :o :eek: That is what she seeks to do, to become stronger for her coach so she can be Galatea's best boxer.

You mentioned Jean too about your fanfic, hmm, now that you mention it, you actually made some complex relationships between Miria/Clare/Raki/Clarice/Raphaela. I don't know if you planned it all along, but it is very fun. :D

hell88 2008-08-29 20:18

It would be funny if the others found out about Galatea x Cynthia.:heh: I wonder what would happen?:rolleyes:

Well I was actually thinking of Raki x Clarice too but that might be pushing it a little don't you think?


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