EMDAS 2011 - February (Origins) Competition Page
Welcome to the February EMDAS Writing Competition!(Rules - READ FIRST!)
"In the beginning was the Word..."
(The Holy Bible, John 1:1-3)
This month's theme is "Origin"! To commemorate the origin and birth of this new competition, write an entry about origin. This can apply to anything like birth, creation, beginnings, etc. The exempt above is a good example, as it refers to the "origin" of the world/life.
Phase 1: Entries! (February 1-14)
For the first two weeks of the competition, all entrants may post their draft entries on this page and receive suggestions and criticism without any consequences. Nothing posted during this entry period will be taken as your final entry. Constant posting of small edits and similar drafts are frowned against, as it clutters up the pages and gets in the way of other entries.
Phase 2: Voting! (February 15-24)
CURRENT PHASE! CHECK ALL ENTRIES BELOW, AND MAKE YOUR VOTE!
After the final entries have been submitted, all non-entrants may read over and vote on their favourite entry. Entrants may not vote, especially with the one vote/person rule in place. Anybody who votes more than once will have all of their votes removed.
Phase 3: Tallying and Evaluation (February 24-25)
This phase is for the users who are involved with the management of the competition. In this timespan, the votes will be tallied, entries double-checked, and violations will be sorted.
Final Phase: Results (February 25)
Final results for the month's competition will be posted at the stroke of midnight - 3 nights before the end of the month. The winner then has the next few days to decide on the next theme. (Results Counter), (End of Month Counter)
Good luck to everyone, and good luck in the first EMDAS competition!
The Entries! (Direct links posted to stay within word count limit.)
Spoiler for shelter - Run With Me:
Spoiler for papermario13689 - Genesis II:
Spoiler for felix - Emperor of One:
Spoiler for wassupimviet - Playing at Purpose:
Spoiler for lordshadowisle - Origin Story:
Spoiler for "The_Seth - Teddy" (Sent via PM):
Emperor of One
Origins, File 1
"The year is 39 PA (Post Apocalypse), current time 11:32 AM. My name is Kouta Kurou, I am a student here at very average and plain Kyu Kyoto North Highschool (KKN). There's not much to brag about this shabby place other then delinquents, rumors and its age. To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised it's even standing after the great war. The architect must have been some sort of paranoid maniac—"
As he glanced back down at the newspaper the rest of the class directed their attention back at the assignment. All but one Mao Manami, who continued to give Kou the cold stare as he took his seat.
Kouta was left with a depressed look on his face, took his pen and continued writing: "And this is another glorious day in the life of me. Yet again I've been scolded by the teacher for asking a perfectly legitimate question; I just have no luck." Kou sighed "Before coming to this place I was a student at... another school which shall remain secret. Because of unforeseen circumstances beyond my control I've ended dropping three years in a row. It was sad leaving the few friends I still had there behind but I couldn't bear the looks and rumors anymore, so I transfered to KKN in the hopes of starting anew. It's been one month since I transfered here and I've somehow managed to fit in. It was good fortune my super crappy attempt at kansai-ben earned me some humor points with everyone, otherwise things would have been bleak." Kou sighed again, looking towards the rest of class 0-N.
Mao kicks Koutas chair, planting Kouta face first onto his desk. As Kouta pulls himself up he takes a short glance over his shoulders at Mao and continues writing. "My seat is in the left furthers most corner of the class, near the window. The classroom is towards the sun and there are no trees nearby so the rest of the row is empty. The hole building is like a tower I'm trapped in, literally. Most of of the class has positioned themselves on the left side in the shade. The teachers don't seem to mind. Basically, I'm isolated… well, almost" Kouta frowns as he looks at a reflection of Mao in the window "behind me is Mao, our class— nono, our schools! eccentric, egoistic, self centered PE maniac! For whatever reason she insists she must stay near the window. Her record of arguing with teachers is even worse then mine." Kouta writes quickly as he leans towards his desk and paper "Every day since I came here she's given me the same look. Like its my fault the teachers told me to sit in front of her. To make it worse she has this voice problem. She apparently is too lazy or cool to speak with anything more then a calm voice or whisper. She even has some kind of medical nonsense to make the teachers accept it. Because of that I have to repeat everything she says each time one of the geezers asks her something. Probably why those bastards put me near her to begin with—"
The time is 1:49 PM. Kou arrives at Mr. Rei Katashis office. The scent of tobacco greets him at the door; the inside a big mess of papers, flour pots and cigarettes. Even though called a office there's just a chair and a table and mountains of various student papers everywhere.
Kou frowns and pretends he didn't hear.
While looking at the arrangement of the teachers desk Kouta spots a particularity.
A deep silence covers the room.
Kou seems to want to reply, but keeps silent.
As Kou glances down at the newspaper the title reads: "Kanibal on a Rampage!", The article seems to be a interview with Col. Bearwolf, leading Arm forces. On the right a big picture of the monster, Kou can't help but stare. Blindfolded skull for a head, teeth of a demon, horns of a goat, purple cloak with ominous eyes drawn on it, sleeves ripped off, arms made of what looks like muscle and steel with no skin attached, chains for braces, claws for nails, and skull boots up to his knees. And to top that a tail. Kou is a little intrigued but adverts his eye from it after a moment.
Kou gives him a strange look but doesn't respond back.
Kou leaves the office.
1,498 words, according to this site.
I couldn't fit more then the prolog in the limit. Fail. :heh: I'll continue next contest…
Status Final Draft.
1.0.0 — initial draft
1.1.0 — title update (given the word limit might as well use it to hint as much as possible)
1.2.1 — edit 1 + title tweak + lots of rephrasing
1.2.2 — edit 2 + zebra's corrections + setting for Rei's office
1.2.3 — typos
A test! A test of "origin"ality, I say! Needed something creative to start things off. :heh:
That pun... made me physically in pain. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your puns are worse than my uncle.
I am definitely afraid! I almost didn't catch it at first. Then when I did I literally went: "Ow" Good work on this competition by the way. It adds variety to the forums.
*ahem* Ah yes, thank you. It doesn't really start until tomorrow, so I've been keeping myself stupidly busy today with other things to keep my mind from thinking up an entry. :heh:
I've got my eye on you and your assassin puns. Your puns are too deadly to let control you, hold together man!
I look forward to reading and voting on everyones entries. We used to do something like that in my school, but the teachers put an end to it because it was "too distracting."
I look forward to reading the creative entries as well. It's a shame that your teachers put an end to that, it'd be an excellent method of improving one's confidence and composition skills; I would have loved to have had that at my school. :heh:
Thanks again for these, they're great! And looking forward to hearing from you next month then;)
It's okay insanity has it's perks *pat pat*
It was really encouraging, though I didn't take part in it. The teachers argued people were reading the entries rather than focusing on their class work. It was a helpful competition I was sorry to see it go.
Hmm, to be honest, I think things like those would have been more beneficial than the by-the-book schoolwork. It's things like this that cause imagination to get lost within the bookwork.
EDIT: Okay, it's struck midnight here, so I officially announce the start of the first EMDAS Competition! Post away, for I shall be working on my own entry. :heh:
Mario you should use skyscraper banners. As in ones that have height much greater then their width. ;)
You can use the [wl][/wl] or [wr][/wr] tags to place them on the right or left of your text.
You are right, and many took it that way. The teachers in my school didn't want the chaos of it all. Thought their efforts to stop the students disrupted the class more.
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth."
Laughing a sick and somewhat desperate laugh, the man crumpled the sacred pages with both of his hands. He looked up to the heavens and exclaimed:
"Created the Earth?! Well then God, you tell me where the hell everybody disappeared to. Is this a sick joke, God? I'm telling you...I'M NOT LAUGHING!"
It had been 7 days now. The worst cycle of monophobia was beginning to rise from within the man, and he had finally broken down on the day of the Sabbath. He had no memories except for the fact that mankind had left him in this cruel world.
"Heh. Hehehehe. HAHAHA!" the man was literally almost in tears at this point.
"You know, it IS somewhat funny! Destroy all of humanity but physically leave the Earth behind...SICK, but funny."
With no options left, the man began to circle the mysterious garden where he had awoke. Lush trees with colourful fruits rose up from every inch, and it was all perfectly edible. The man had been feasting off of the fruit since awakening, but for an unexplainable reason, he would not eat the fruit from the center tree. There was nothing holding him back, but a sharp pain came to him whenever he even considered tasting the oddly shaped delectable.
"Another day of the same food. I can't stand this for much longer, but at least I'm not starving." the man took a bite of one of the fruits, looked at the skies and yelled:
"You hear me, God? I will defeat you and your sick world! You can't bring me down THAT easily!"
And the instant the last word escaped his mouth, the man fell into a state of deep sleep. He slept and he slept, and several hours passed before he awoke again.
"Ah, good. You're awake!"
The man heard it. The voice of a human, but to him, it was the voice of an angel. Turning around, he caught a glimpse of a young woman, standing nude without shame. Within a few seconds, the man cried heavy tears. The woman hunched over and consoled him without a second thought.
"O' great Lord, I thank thee!" he exclaimed.
The woman had no memories of her own, as the man quickly found out. Conversation was almost impossible as there was nothing to reminisce upon and nothing they had in common. Yet they lived in the magical garden, living off of the fruits that seemed to be infinite. But they never dared to touch the fruit from the center tree. It seemed that the woman shared his fear of the middle tree.
Living off of one source of food, nude and not knowing. This continued for several days; the same repetitive thing. The man was sick of it all, and his faith was almost on the brink of destruction. All he wished was to go back to his old lifestyle with his two sons and wife. While alone and deep in thought, the man heard a sinister voice.
"Ssssooo, you want to know what'sssss happened to your world?" slithered the slippery voice.
It was already too late, the man was beyond intrigued. Something about this voice wasn't right, but the seduction of knowledge rendered the man useless.
"Yes, yes! What had happened? How can I return?" he desperately asked.
"The fruitssssss on the tree in the middle. They hold the anssswer you sseeeek. Eat one, and you will know all."
"I don't know...there is something wrong with eating the fruit from that tree." said the man, not having a reason behind his claim.
"It'sssss fine...It'ssssss just sssssome fruit, ssssame as the otherssssss. It'ssssss the only way."
And with that said, the man was convinced. The woman was nowhere in sight, but that didn't matter. Slowly, he made his way to the center tree, and despite the sharp pain he felt, he plucked one of the fruits and took a large bite.
In an instant, it all came back.
"Where have you gone? It's time to eat!" shouted the woman.
With a booming voice, the man yelled: "EVE!"
"E-Eve? Is that...my name?" she shuddered.
"One bite of this fruit and you shall know all."
And without hesitation, she took a bite.
The only word she could tearfully speak a second later was: "ADAM!"
Their memories had returned. Adam and Eve patched together coverings from fig leaves, now ashamed of their nude skin. It was odd, but Adam thought he could hear a sinister laugh slithering away.
"Eve, you remember! You truly...re..mem.."
And with that, the man dropped. Comatose, but not dead.
In shock, the woman began to scream for her husband. "ADAM! A...DA..."
And the woman immediately joined him.
"W-WHA! WHAT IS THIS?!"
A strong jolt awoke the man and he was in the garden, alone. There was nobody in sight, and all he clutched in his hand were the sacred pages of God's word.
"W-where is everyone? Am I the only one?!" he cried.
The wind carried a declaration from the Almighty, and Adam swore he heard it.
"Thou shalt not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil."
Some of the verses are really long. And some are broken up; maybe not too good to start a sentence on the same verse?
*Yawn* Good morning, everyone:)
Yeah, I plan to re-make the entire thing. NEVER write at 3:30 AM...well, if you're sleepy at the time.
Thanks for the the C&C though, it'll help me with my next one.
EDIT: Oh, and I saw your entry - it's quite good but if you're wanting to edit it later on, I would seriously suggest not writing Final Entry on it. You should usually write that when you're completely finished editing and proofreading. Actually, I just read the description at the top and it does seem a little vague...will edit.
My schedule is hectic, as strange as it may sound I easily forget things like this. So writing final entry or having my last entry final (unless otherwise specified) is kind of the only way that works.  I've read the opening. Can you elaborate on the reasons for not allowing edits after writing final entry, I'm not really following.
To elaborate, simply post your drafts here without the Final Entry words on your entry. Doing so will allow you to receive C&C on it and also allows editing/proofreading. Once you are 100% certain that it is what you want to submit, add the Final Entry to it. The instant I see it, it is copied word for word as a submission and cannot be further edited. The reason for doing this is so the readers aren't taking an unedited product as "final". The bold Final Entry should only be used to imply that you proofread and actually went back to edit it. Hmm...a good comparison: Imagine an author of a novel. They inform the proofreader/publishers that they are sending them something as a "final, finished project", but hasn't edited or proofread it yet. While they certainly have the ability to change what they wish with this addendum in place, it simply confuses the others who are involved. In this case, the readers/voters. Hopefully that makes sense, sorry if I've confused you.
I noticed a changelog, that is a good idea and is allowed.
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