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Kairin 2012-11-21 13:32

Little Busters - FanFiction Discussion
Welcome to the Little Busters FanFiction Discussion thread.

This thread is meant for Little Busters fanfiction and its discussion. Fanfiction works can be either posted in this thread or in the Fan Creations Forum and linked to in this thread. You may also link to Fanfiction works posted on other sites and discuss it here.

General rules of our forum still apply:
  • No sexually explicit material. Yes, this goes for text format as well.
  • Be polite to your fellow forum members
  • Have fun, but post intelligently

Please respect the authors, fanfictions are written in their free time, they have have no gain and owe you nothing; if they like a particular character and/or a particular pattern for their story, it's a personal choice and can't be blamed. In general, you are free to post constructive criticisms but not insults which (as in any other part of the forums) won't be tolerated. Remember that writers post here to get help and not to get troubles.

Thanks and have fun :)

Balzac 2012-11-25 02:43

... I won't go into his background here but I have a very close acquaintance who once tried out "fanfiction" using the Key universe. I've no idea of the exact reasons of his venture, but the bits I read were touching (considering his present state).

If I remember correctly, it was some sort of "after story" revolving around the "next generation", the sons and daughters of Key protagonists and the "main heroine". Told from the perspective of Riki's and Rin's son, it tells his and other children's story about immorality and redemption in a world that had fallen to the more savage aspects of fantasy. The setting was that all the Key stories were in one universe, and his latest chapter indicated that it was in a post-Terra world (Rewrite) which obviously came about after his reading that visual novel.

In conversations with him, it appeared he was going for the theme of true redemption and forgiveness, as seen in the character he built up - initially the son of Otonashi and Tenshi and later molded into the son of Tennouji Kotarou - who'd become a hardened teenager and was showing sociopathic signs. I was interested in his craft from a purely academic standpoint, though the myriad faults of the fanfiction format led to me not taking it (and his other works) seriously no matter how I tried. He did try to evoke some of Maeda's comedy, which made this comedic connoisseur smile.:)

He'd posted it on as I recall, though his wife had to delete them after his incident. I mention this because I was quite surprised to see this subsection pop up and it reminded me of his story.

novalysis 2012-11-27 05:21

It gives me an idea for a possible Next-gen fic.

In your typical VNs, parents are only important for certain routes. I was thinking of writing a Next-gen fanfiction where Parents are central to every single route. But here is the twist - the story is not told from the perspective of the male or female "target", but rather, the protagonist/PoV character is different with every single route. The one thing tying each protagonist together in each route, is the fact that they are all alternative versions of each other, sharing the same father (Naoe Riki), but different mothers in every single route.

So, each protagonist are basically alternate Universe versions of each other, with the same father, but different mother. This results in differences in personality, backstory, and family circumstances, each producing a different story.

The story begins during the Club Recruitment period. The unified common route lasts throughout the entire period, and there may be perhaps six to eight different clubs. (Sports, more Intellectual Clubs and Artistic Societies, plus a Council Option).

Each PoV character will belong to a certain club. However, multiple PoV characters may be in the same club. And a single PoV character may well have different stories depending on which club they choose.

In each club, the target has quite ordinary backgrounds, no extra-ordinary traumas, though their personalities differ from club to club. It is the PoV character who has unique backgrounds.

I think, for a first past, all alternate versions of the PoV protagonist shares the same gender. Perhaps Female, for a change of pace? Then, in a second round, routes exploring what happens if the main PoV character is a male takes place. But in each story, the main protagonist relation with her different mother will play a large role in the plot.

I have a list of possible ways different mothers can affect characters.

Possible List of PoV Protagonist/ Mothers

Child of Komari: The frightening thing is, Komari isn't the most stable of persons. A dramatic rendering would have her being slightly disconnected from reality. A less dramatic, more positive rendering would still have her as someone who might be quite clingy to Riki, and possibly more willing to come down to the level of her child. I'd say that Riki's influence might be stronger here. On the other hand, Komari could also be a surprisingly good mother.

Child of Kud: I wonder whether the "Wafuu" mindset would carry over to reality. I can foresee certainly, that any child of Kud would firstly get into trouble, if only because of her "half-Japanese" nature. To think of Kud as a mother, we'd need to strip out much the "Wafuu" view, and go into what Kud really is if we ignore her moe attributes. Would Kud, for example, take after her mother, and possibly be involved in Space Research? I can also forsee that one of Kud's main priorities is to try to become someone that her daughter would like to emulate. Dramatic renderings might actually center around a mother who is both successful, but often away, yet insecure. Or there, but very insecure. You know, I think that a Kud x Riki relation would be one of the most equal relations in Little Busters, though, compared to Kurugaya x Riki on one end, and Riki x Rin on the other.

In dramatic renderings, Kud wouldn't be as successful in accomplishing that, and might infact alienate her daughter, creating a conflict that needs to be resolved. In less dramatic renderings, Kud's daughter might look up to her mother, and aspire to be like her. And gradually question why.

Child of Yuiko Kurugaya: I seriously think that Yuiko would troll her own children. She may also mother her own children, and smother them quite alot. Given how... ahem, sexually adventurous she is, I'd suspect that any child of hers would be quite sexually forward too - sexuality is something that Yuiko's children may have little difficulties about. But would she also impart an Overachiver mind-set to her hypothetical child? Would her child have the same issue as Kud: in that the child wishes to be like her mother? I can see Yuiko also wearing the pants in the relationship between her and Riki.

In more dramatic renderings, part of the tension might be the fact that Yuiko's daughter may not be as talented or gifted as her mother. Or, Yuiko's daughter is actually weak willed, as the result of being treated like an amusing pet by an eccentric mother. Or, Yuiko's daughter dislikes the fact that her mother is a troll. Lighter renderings would have the daughter being as gifted and talented, and also another huge troll by emulation, and therefore, her route is full of awesome.

Child of Haruka: Now, Haruka herself was abused as a child. Would this have an impact on how she might raise her own children? For some reason, I forsee that Haruka might have a laidback, approach to parenting. I would say that she might be quite lost with Parenting, given how dysfunctional her family circumstances are.

In dramatic renderings, we might have a daughter who thinks poorly of her mother, and dislikes her mother's own lax approach. Or, we might have the product of parents who are quite lost in Parenting. Or, we might have someone who enjoys life as it is. Or Haruka might be a rather irresponsible and neglectful mother.

It could be that it is Riki who is the stricter one here in the parental relationship, which might lead to rather interesting dynamics.

Child of Mio: Mio is another troll. Minus the overachieving, I think the issues might be similar to Kurugaya.
I suspect that Mio would raise a child with lax sexual morals too. The big difference, is that I think Mio would be less aggressive and more subtle than Kurugaya in her parenting approach. Certainly, Riki's influence would be stronger vis a vis Mio, compared to Kurugaya.

Of course, more cynically, in darker possibilities, Mio is a neglectful, absent minded mother who is often cold. In happier possibilities, she tries to teach her child how to troll, and possibly, her child may be more likely a bibliophile too, given that I suspect their house would be buried deep in books.

Child of Rin: I seriously think that Rin would defer strongly to Riki here. I can't see her as a mother. I think she is even worst suited then Haruka. It might produce either a maladjusted individual, be a "control case" for a child raised under Riki's influence alone, and so on. Or, she might treat her child, almost like a pet of sorts.

Child of Sasami: I have no idea how this is supposed to go. What would it be like to be raised by a Mother who is a former Alpha, and a bit of a bully in her youth?

Child of Kanata. I forsee that Kanata would be a very, very stern mother. We might see a Child that is rebelling against a strict mother, or a Honors Student who is intimidated by her mother. I suspect that of all of candidates, Kanata would try to mold her child most closely after her own image. Of course, Kanata could also be dere for her child at times.

It reminds me of the comic of a Tsundere Mother. Certainly, the crux of such a protagonist would be to come to terms with a mother that's likely strict, and domineering, and probably stricter than any other route. That route could go all full out on a deconstruction of a Tsundere mother (dysfunctional family relations), or a daughter starting to develop and discover a personality beyond her mother's influence. Or, it could be a decisive moment where Kanata no longer treats her child as a child, but more as an adult, or perhaps their relationship is an amicable, but strict one, and the tensions between amicability and strictness dominates the route. Bonus if Kanata doesn't approve of the Boy her daughter brought back. Finally, Kanata's child would come from a privileged background. Perhaps there's always the sense that she's being watched, and of the need to keep up her family's reputation.

We might get a character similar to Irisu from Hyouka for example for Kanata's daughter.


Of course, given the scale of all this, I'd imagine that it'd take a long time to write all of the routes. But I think there's a strong scope for collaboration here. This is just a first pass proposal for how a Next-gen fic exploring all the possible children of Riki, and how each protagonist has different mothers but the same father produces different plots. And how Married life between Riki and one of the LB Heroines might look like.

One of the big questions I've been asking myself is how Riki might be as a father. It might be a difficult question to answer - no doubt, a Riki with Kurugaya would be different from a Riki with Komari, and definitely with Rin.

Randrak42 2012-11-27 06:08

See, the descriptions you give...make them too similar to their mothers, so similar that it's like reading the original character's descriptions at times.
And then there's things like Komari's kid having a fear of death...why? Komari had a fear of death because of a traumatic event, it's not something genetic that's passed down from mother to child.

novalysis 2012-11-27 06:30


Originally Posted by Randrak42 (Post 4453079)
See, the descriptions you give...make them too similar to their mothers, so similar that it's like reading the original character's descriptions at times.
And then there's things like Komari's kid having a fear of death...why? Komari had a fear of death because of a traumatic event, it's not something genetic that's passed down from mother to child.

Yes, I acknowledge that flaw. There's too much Generation Xerox .It's just a first pass, and probably not a good one at that. The challenge, I think, is in characterizations, and I think I didn't really did quite well with that.

Still, my main purpose was to propose an initial concept: A reverse LN of sorts, where each story is that alternate heroines, each of which are children of Riki Naoe and one of the other Little Busters.

More organically, perhaps a better question to start asking, when coming up with each of these characters is : What kind of mothers would each of the Little Busters be like? And how would this influence their child? That might be the first place to start.

Another more unpleasant (and probably cheap option - thinking of it makes me realize that absent parents are a lazy way of creating drama) would be to ask which of them are more likely to leave Riki widowed, create a less stable family or create issues of their own.

I'm more or less canvassing for ideas here on that score.:heh:

P.s: I think I'd erase the character proposals for now. I modified it by starting with considering how each of the Little Busters might be as parents, outlining a few scenarios.

Arturia Polaris 2012-11-29 00:38

I have an idea... Assuming that the anime doesn't go this way...

Spoiler for lb mayor spoilers:


Balzac 2012-12-01 00:30

Novalysis, in my opinion, there'd be no harm in your idea to create your own character, that's how "true fiction" comes about. It doesn't have to adhere to a sort of combination of previous character traits. In your idea for example, the child doesn't have to be created from taking a trait from one parent and another from the other, and then blending them like a shake. Cast the "next generation" in a mold of your own making, with your ownly caveat being the possible relationship with the previous generation. (of course, being realistically interwoven with whatever plot and setting you intend to have)

To give an example, my friend's protagonist, Riki and Rin's son, had somehow inherited narcolepsy. This is because my friend intended some sort of Key syndrome for all his characters. The son also had an aversion to cats, having been with them through most of his life. He also had the power to swallow luck from other people, which was supposed to have been a major plot point in the story, linking up with his intended role somewhere down the line. (which I'll never know since he never finished it) Character creation is a fundamental part in crafting a story, and one doesn't necessarily have to be restricted to crafting "carbon copies". Breathe life into them in your own way and according to your vision.

That being said, I am now a mite interested in this section - perhaps there may be budding bards who'd be interested in spinning for us veterans an enchanted tale, enough perhaps, to even exceed Maeda's own.

EDIT: Addendum - I also believe that if you were to cast the heroines as mothers, you also have to take note that parenthood, in real life and most times in fiction, will drastically change a person. A serious person might become a scatter-brained mother, leading to some interesting conflict; or vice-versa, a once slightly irresponsible youth shows hidden depths when becoming a parenthood. Note that the above extremes are just that - extremes.

Arturia Polaris 2012-12-01 00:43

Okay. I'm taking up Balzac's challenge.

I'll throw a bunch of ideas and see which is more liked. (Of course, spoiler territory here)

A) A heartwarming fanfic about Komari and her brother, ending with the inevitable.

B) A slice of life about the Little Busters! the year before the incident.

C) A small fic about Kurugaya's past and why she reacted like she did in the VN. (EDIT: I actually went ahead and started doing this one. )

D) Small romance fic about Kengo and THAT girl...

E) Kyousuke's POV of the whole endless semester, and how his mind starts getting spazzy.

F) What if the "true ending" were just Rin and Riki alone?

G) Kurugaya x Haruchin friendship explained.

As I said, these are all ideas for short stories, nothing is yet final and I'm just firing things in my brain.


ronelm2000 2012-12-04 09:44

Well if I would have the time to do a fanfic:

(1) Short fanfic about an Alternate Ending where Riki never ever invoked Rin1.
(2) Another short fanfic on Kengo during that incident.
(3) Saya's story IRL.

Balzac 2012-12-07 18:23

Question from the curious: were a story to be posted, would it be okay to post here, in this thread? I don't have accounts in other repositories (I suppose I could use my aforementioned friend's account) and would rather that I not go to any external sites.

My own dissertation on his foray into Little Busters! fiction has piqued my interest, sending the mostly unused creation muscles creaking.

Arturia Polaris 2012-12-07 19:02

You could use the fan creations part in the forum as I do, as well as


Rising Dragon 2012-12-07 19:36

Other fanfiction threads in AnimeSuki forums allow full chapters to be posted in them. I don't see why the same wouldn't hold true for this thread.

Balzac 2012-12-17 00:28

Well, after a good, free afternoon, I present this little number. Completely free of fact-checking, proofreading and editing shenanigans, so the English may be subpar. I give credit to that bad, bad Nakahito for the idea, but no elements from that game is present here. I'd intended it to be a self-contained story, but the writing got away from me and now it seems there might be a continuation.

It's been 10 years since I've written creatively, so this work will likely be filled with too much academic prose. I'm a professor, not a writer.:heh:

Fair word of warning, contains no Key atmosphere whatsoever. Ironic that I rail against "Shounen-esque" details in my eroge, when all I can make for my own fiction is this. This also contains spoilers for pretty much every Key game in existence (bar Kud Wafter). "Also contains spoilers" is also a bit of an understatement. Readers will probably not get some of the stuff written here without some previous knowledge (I think)

Spoiler for Balzac's Work 1 Part 1:

Part 2 will be below.

Balzac 2012-12-17 00:30

Spoiler for Balzac Work 1 Part 2:

That was kind of a doozy. I'm debating whether to show my students this. I'm leery of the situation when the critiquer becomes the critiqued.

Balzac 2012-12-21 21:36

As the apocalypse goes under way, I thought I'd continue this in the hopes that it be preserved for future sentients to decipher and put into museums. :D

Spoiler for Balzac Work 1 Part 3:

Balzac 2012-12-21 21:38

Next part. Technically a chapter 2 I guess?

Spoiler for Balzac Work 1 Part 4:

Balzac 2013-02-12 03:33

*Looks around* And here I'd hoped more creative scribes would've contributed in the months since my last post...

Well, long time no see I guess. Haven't been on the Internet in a while due to a lot of obligations. I don't even know how Little Busters! is faring anime-wise.

But admittedly this little side job's fun to do sometimes - when I'm not swamped with literature I have to write. :eyespin:
Spoiler for Balzac Work 1 Part 5:

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