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Secret Society BLANKET
 Graphic Designer
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: 3 times the passion of normal flamenco
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Right...
Continuing from previously, another snippet:
Spoiler for Matsuri:
“How could you trick me like that?!”
“So who is Shinji really? You Kay?! Or maybe Glock?!”
“Have you been toying with me all this time?! Testing out your bots on me for your enjoyment?! A study of how a young girl socializes with an artificial program perhaps?!
Is that what I am to you, a Test Subject?!”
“And who are YOU?! Do you pretend to be Shinji?! Answer me!!!”
“Is that so…”
“…
If so… it’s all fake then… Shinji… a program… a bot…”
“SHUT UP!! IT’S JUST A PROGRAM!!!!”
***
What have I done…
She tells me that I have done something unforgivable. A terrible deed.
But what have I done? What have I really done?
It’s the truth isn’t it? I just asked for truth didn’t I?
Didn’t I?
The truth sets you free. So I have believed in that adage for all of these years. Truth gained from cold, hard facts, and the knowledge gleaned from such truth.
Then… why do I feel... trapped? Why do I feel so empty? So hollow…
So alone.
I thought I had left my loneliness behind. That I was fulfilled, to know that someone out there cared for you, to share your every thought, your every feeling, your every emotion with someone…
But didn’t I have such a person?
Shinji.
But he is not a person. If I believe what they told me, he is not even human. Artificial Intelligence. A computer program. Software. And his body a holographic projection of energy that somehow interacts like a solid.
Knowing all of this, after so long believing that he was human… the pitfalls of impersonal remote interaction huh? To simply talk to each other via electronic means… How could I have known? That I was talking to an AI on the other side…
And to think that once, I nearly pledged my entire life to him…
To him?
Him?
Shouldn’t it be “it”? It’s technically correct isn’t it?
It is Shinji.
IT is Shinji.
I nearly pledged my entire life to IT…
It sounds correct now. More accurate.
It sounds so…
Yet, it sounds so…
Wrong.
So why does it sound so wrong to call him that?
***
Shinji: Matsuri?
*beep*
Matsuri: I’m still here. What is it Shinji?
*beep*
Shinji: Is something bothering you?
*beep*
Matsuri: Nothing’s bothering me at all Shinji.
*beep*
Shinji: See, something is bothering you. You just called me by name twice already.
…
Shinji: You can tell me.
…
*beep*
Matsuri: We’ve been seeing each other for how long? A year and a half maybe?
*beep*
Shinji: Exactly 677 days.
*beep*
Matsuri: 677 days then. Can you believe how long we’ve been talking to each other like this without seeing each other? Even I can’t believe it myself. I don’t even know what you look like.
*beep*
Shinji: It’s strange, I’ve been asking the same thing myself. Wondering why you’re even talking with me after all this time.
*beep*
Matsuri: You’re the one who started talking to me remember? I was just responding to you.
*beep*
Shinji: Yet you responded to me for one and a half years.
*beep*
Matsuri: I guess.
*beep*
Shinji: So what exactly is bothering you Matsuri? I’m kind of worried about where you’re going with this.
…
…
*beep*
Matsuri: Do you trust me?
*beep*
Shinji: That was so out of the blue.
*beep*
Matsuri: ????? Shinji!
*beep*
Shinji: I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to ask. But of course I trust you. I trust you completely.
*beep*
Matsuri: Are you really so sure about that? Even if you’ve never seen me before? Who knows, maybe I’ve been lying to you all this time. How would you know?
*beep*
Shinji: I just know you don’t. Lying to me for one and a half years? I don’t think anyone can do that. I don’t think I can bear the thought of lying to anyone.
*beep*
Matsuri: Ok then, I won’t second guess your words on that. But just suppose, you found out that I’m not all I’m saying I am. That I’m a completely different person that what I’m presenting right now to you. Maybe I don’t meet your expectations. Not beautiful enough maybe, or not smart enough even. That I’m just copy-pasting my intelligence from wiki and that I’m posting images of my much better looking older sister just to get your attention.
I’m not saying I’m doing that or anything. Just that supposed you did find out. What would you do?
…
*beep*
Shinji: I suppose, I can say that you had your reasons for doing so. But honestly, I’d be rather disappointed that you had to go to such measures. You waste time and effort being someone else instead of just being yourself.
*beep*
Matsuri: I know you would. If the situation was reversed, and you were the one lying to me instead, I would be sorely disappointed as well. It’s just natural.
…
Matsuri: ?
…
…
Matsuri: Shinji? You there?
*beep*
Shinji: I see.
*beep*
Matsuri: What’s wrong? It isn’t like you to take that long between replies.
*beep*
Shinji: Do you believe that keeping silent about an important matter is tantamount to lying?
…
*beep*
Matsuri: I wouldn’t say so, any person has the right to not reveal what they don’t need, don’t want, or can’t say, unless it truly is important. If they do speak up, by all means they should tell the truth. But if it truly is an important matter, that relates to a life or death situation, and if that silence leads to a negative situation then I believe silence is equal to, and sometimes even worse than lying. And that, I wouldn’t be happy about.
…
*beep*
Shinji: You should be disappointed then. There are a lot of things I’ve withheld from you for quite sometime now.
*beep*
Matsuri: If this is about your picture Shinji, don’t worry about it.
*beep*
Shinji: It’s not that Matsuri. There are many things about me that you do not know. And none of them trivial like my picture. These are things that might shock you, and might even be unbelievable. Aspects of myself that I am afraid to reveal. It feels like an unfair trade. You’ve told me a lot about yourself, but I am afraid to reveal my whole self to you. And I am afraid to lie, so I hide them from you.
Your examples include plagiarism and substitution. But I am much worse than that. My entire being is a substitution. I’m not even human.
…
Shinji: I’m not even sure if you would understand if I told you, such is the degree of the preposterousness of my being. You are a scientific mind Matsuri, who believes in the absoluteness of truth and fact. And I’m afraid that the truths and the facts about me would be too repulsive for you.
…
…
*beep*
Matsuri: What are you saying all of a sudden? Stop joking around Shinji, you’re seriously scaring me.
Matsuri: And I can be understanding to when I need to! I don’t know why you’re exaggerating about your deficiencies, but I’ve known you and trusted you for this time. Whatever you might try and tell me, I’ll believe them, as long as I have the truth before me!
I’ve known you to be a very kind, gentle and caring person. Surely someone like you, whatever you’re hiding, couldn’t be that bad. And even if those aspects are as shocking as you say they are, I’ll try and be understanding about it. There are surely good reasons behind them right?
…
Matsuri: Because you’re Shinji, the person who was there for me whenever I needed him. Someone whom I could trust, whom I could rely on. The person I love. And that’s all that matters to me.
So please, stop this nonsense. I’ll always believe in you Shinji.
…
Matsuri: How do they say it again in my native tongue… “Atashi ha Shinji-teimasu?”
*beep*
Shinji: Close enough.
*beep*
Matsuri: Don’t you want to correct me for my inadequate Japanese?
*beep*
Shinji: I can let it slide, as long as I understand the message. I don’t know how to thank you enough Matsuri, I truly appreciate your reassurance.
Is it a wonder I love you too?
*beep*
Matsuri: Your most welcome. And most sweet as well.
…
Matsuri: But I gtg now, Mama’s home. Still need to get dinner prepared.
*beep*
Shinji: I’ll see you tomorrow then. And I promise, someday I’ll tell you everything about me.
*beep*
Matsuri: I can’t wait! :)
*beep*
***
I remember now…
I told him that didn’t he?
He never lied to me after all. He was never exxagerating.
Shinji told me all those things because he knew. He was just a program. And he knew that it was something I couldn’t possibly accept.
And yet he trusted me to believe him. He believed in me to trust in him. Because I had promised him my understanding. Because I told him I loved him.
But when the cold truth was presented to me I broke all of his trust in me. I let my… hah, clear judgement, superior logic and intellect take over.
What an understanding person I am. What a loving person I am.
Stupid, stupid logic…
What kind of hypocrite am I? Someone tell me please…
***
The ear-shattering blaring car horn filled the streets, and yet the young girl could not seem to hear it. And the horror-stricken crowd helplessly watched the inevitable unfold right before their terrified eyes as the headlights drew closer...
“GET OUT OF MY WAY LADY!!!”
__________________
Against all the evil that hell can conjure, all wickedness that mankind can produce... We will send unto them, only you.
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